I recently spoke to a very attractive guy whose self-image has not quite caught up to reality yet as he still believes that he’s only average. Compared to the average guy, though, he’s doing very well. Should he manage to lose his “anti-game“, he’ll do phenomenally well in the future. It sounds as if he almost wants to make excuses if a woman seems to be into him. Many guys have the same problem. They think women are only behaving in a friendly manner when they have coffee with them. However, women really don’t hang out just with any guy. Instead, they hang out with you because they want you to make a move.
An interesting variation of the same topic is guys asking themselves if a woman who has had sex with them did so out of pity or due to a lack of alternatives. Yes, this sounds a bit extreme, but I have met a small number of men who engaged in such mental acrobatics. It is not an entirely unreasonable line of thought either because the term “pity fuck” does exist. You sometimes hear it during “locker room talk” among younger guys when they playfully put each other down. If Chad is banging some hottie, Melvin may claim that she’s only fucking him out of pity. It’s all bullshit, of course, and thinly disguised envy.
Despite seeming evidence to the contrary, women do not just fuck any guy. Even sluts have standards. They may fuck a lot, but they fuck guys they want to fuck. There are also women who view sex in more transactional terms, i.e. they may blow Harvey Weinstein in exchange for an acting role, only to accuse him a decade later of sexual harassment. Women climbing their career ladders on their backs was not uncommon, but now, thanks to #metoo, many men who would have fucked or even married their assistant rather stay away from them. The next Jeff Bezos is more likely to be a man going his own way. If a woman has sex with you, she has sex with you because she wants to. I don’t even believe that women feel genuine pity for men they don’t find attractive as these men are simply invisible to them. Even if they felt pity, they would not spread their legs for you just so that you can feel better about yourself.
Amusingly, there is a roughly equivalent term for men fucking women they are not into. This is jokingly referred to as a “mercy fuck”. Again, you use it jokingly, e.g. you tell your buddies that there is some washed up feminist fattie at work who is stopping by your desk five times a day. In response, your buddy may laugh and suggest you fuck her out of mercy, and you both laugh. This is a prime example of bonding among men. Of course, guys don’t mercy-fuck any women out there. It’s a joke among us, nothing more.
If you are a woman hoping for a “mercy fuck” by Chad, you are not quite as deluded as any guy who expects to get a “pity fuck”, though. The reason is that guys indeed sometimes fuck women they don’t find all that attractive. They still have to find them borderline attractive, though. Thus, if you just want to bang some chick, then convenience may easily trump looks. Again, I am not saying that you’d fuck anything that walks. However, if you’re feeling horny and you bump into an overly eager 7 at the club who is rubbing your crotch instead of saying “hello”, you may very well just quickly bang her in a bathroom stall as opposed to looking for a more attractive woman. Heck, you can do both: get your rocks off with a woman for the sake of convenience and then look for a more attractive one to have sex with on proper furniture. If you could, most of you arguably would not turn down a quick romp with a random chick, provided she can get you hard and there are no social repercussions, i.e. you probably don’t want to be seen by your friends together with the sluttiest, most tatted-up chick who looks like a meth addict.
On a side note, a very grave implication of Chad banging women just because they make it so easy for them is that those very women more often than not believe that this is the caliber of guy they can get for a relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. Those relatively plain women get high-quality dick because they are so easily available. The interest the man shows does not extend one iota beyond her pussy, or whatever other hole he may prefer. Women have a hard time admitting this to themselves and thus they risk ending up as leftovers on dating sites, doomed to be perennial pump-and-dumps.
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“On a side note, a very grave implication of Chad banging women just because they make it so easy for them is that those very women more often than not believe that this is the caliber of guy they can get for a relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth.”
The dude from the really good YT-channel “Red Pill Men’s Health” aptly calls these women “Alpha Widows”.
Funny anecdote, which fits in with the subject of pity fucks…. Some time ago, while backpacking abroad, I joined a pub crawl with people from the hostel where I was staying. I made friends with a few of the dudes over drinks and flirted with an italian chick, which several of the guys noticed. One of them, an indian guy living in the US, while talking about women and sex more generally (and out of earshot of the italian chick) asked me, in case i scored with her, if I could include him in the deal to have a threesome with us. WTF 😂 how clueless does a guy have to be? Out of courtesy I said I would ask, of course I did not.
I am not against thresomes per se, but this guy was blatantly trying to get a pity fuck free riding on my efforts. Needless to say he had no chance with her. Later when he saw me taking her away to a cab he approached us to see if he would come with us, I told him she said only me.
After fucking her three times I told her the story, to which she rightfully laughed.
This is a great story. That guy must have been incredibly inexperienced, probably having educated himself about human sexuality via porn. A danger of such guys is that they may very well torpedo you. He could have barged in and messed up your hookup as it was going down as opposed to approaching you later. They don’t care. They know that their chances of getting laid are basically zero, so they may well try something stupid because the worst that will happen is that you won’t get laid.
Feel free to make an example out of it. I havent even told half of it.
Btw, this was happening in a muslim country (big city, supposedly western-influenced) but when i was making out with this chick at a club 2 or 3 guys surrounded us and tried to get their hands on her. It was like they thought that if she agreed to me to finger her in the club then she was open to everyone. Talk about a culture clash
I’ve experienced this too, i.e. having to fend off dudes in a club. It was relatively rare, but it happened. Fun fact, this happened on student nights in London, where there are many international students. The few times this happened, I’d guess that most were Indians and one or two Middle Easterners. This does not mean that this is more of a problem among Indians, based on my impression that there is a relatively large number of Indian students in London.
Well, one of the guys trying to finger the girl I was making out with was indian, and it was not the same one who was asking me for a pity-share-fuck.
The other guy looked turkish.
Expat indians must have it hard, I am not sure anyone outside India finds them attractive. IIRC indian porn is hardly consumed outside the country.