There are no “Cougars”

As I was going through a few more stories for a potential new entry in my Sleazy Stories series of books, I came across some notes on a rather peculiar encounter. For context, I was partying in Berlin, Germany, and because I was going out so much I knew quite a few people. Once, I found myself bumping into a bunch of guys I had gotten to know not too long ago who introduced me to a mature woman, but more for giggles. Some chick even mockingly said that that woman “likes younger men”, with the undertone that, surely, I’d much rather bang her than that old hag.

As the night was a bit slow, I hung out with this group for a bit. Then this old woman who was in her early to mid-forties sat down next to me and talked about herself. She was dressed quite well, with a tight leather skirt and high heels. Still, the packing did not make the product any more appealing. It was thus largely due to lethargy that I ended up in a conversation with her. I quickly learned that she worked as a medical doctor, that she lived in a nice apartment that is centrally located, and that she’s “cool and laid-back”, feeling much younger than she is. It did not take long until her not-so-subtle flirting began. She pressed a thigh against mine and after I moved away a little bit, she quickly bridged the gap, making a second attempt. At this point my curiosity got the upper hand and I wanted to see what she would do. I would have stopped her had she become any more physical. Yet, that was not part of her gameplan. Instead, she told me that she had, in her words, “excellent cocaine” at her place and said that she’d be happy to share it. The implied deal was that you’d first have to plow her and then get paid with a line of coke.

Needless to say, I turned down her offer. Afterwards, I approached some guy in this group and asked him what the deal with that woman was. From him I learned that he knows quite a few guys who banged her, mainly because it was so convenient. Yet, none of those guys went home with her because she was so good-looking, which she was not. Unsurprisingly, she was seen as completely disposable. This really is no surprise to any of you guys, though. On the other hand, you can bet that her self-image is much different. She dressed and behaved like a stereotypical “cougar” and believed that she was actively going on a hunt for young men. However, she was not a seductress but more akin to a desperate peddler of stale goods who is piling on the discounts, hoping to find at least one buyer.

I found it quite interesting how the two perspectives involved differed. Guys viewed her as a fall-back option for the desperate and nothing more. Nobody proudly said that he banged her. Some were even a bit embarrassed when they were cornered with the words, “Man, you banged her too, right?” On the other hand, you can bet that she would tell her envious colleagues at work stories about the young men she fucks, conveniently forgetting to mention that she bribes them with cocaine. That only works in a city where a lot of young men are broke and into drugs, though.

This was not necessarily a post about one woman. Instead, it generalizes to older women. Except some exceedingly rare cases, men are not sexually attracted to them. Thus, whenever you read about some alleged “cougar”, do yourself a favor and just laugh at it. There is a reason why men find old women unattractive, namely the fact that they are no longer fertile. Evolution got rid of men who got hard for grannies because they did not produce any offspring. Sure, women use all kinds of tricks, or even outright bribes like offering high-quality cocaine, but they won’t turn back time. Once their youth is gone, they better have some children to take care of because the alternatives are not pretty.

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5 thoughts on “There are no “Cougars”

  1. As much as this is true, I’m still baffled by cases like Jason Momoa. This guy could have like half the girls in the world, but he chose to stick to Lisa Bonet, who is over a decade older. I bet her ex-husband, Lenny Kravitz, still gets young pussy in his 50’s, while Momoa eats his leftovers.

    This is just the most extreme case though.

    1. Another bizarre case is Macron who married a woman who could be his granny. Those are simply outliers.

    2. Yeah, but at least Macron looks the part of a meek guy with mommy issues, wheras Momoa “looks like a god”, to quote several women I know. 😀

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