I had a few clients over the years with body image issues. Influenced by depictions of effeminate men in advertising, they were convinced that they were ugly. One of those guys stands out to me in particular. He’s a bit short of six
Of course, a lot of women fawn over the pretty-boy stereotype, but a significant number of women like guys who look menacing. This is where the thug look comes in. Some guys have it without realizing it. Yet, with a few
Besides the physical component, a key element of the thug look is to look serious. Don’t smile much, if at all. I hardly ever smile. I have had girls tell me that I come across as a “total psychopath”, but keep in mind that they told me that after having had sex with me. You’re probably not going to attract the most psychologically healthy women all the time with that approach, but it works, and if you just want to get laid, who cares if you appeal to her most primitive genetic programming?
Let’s go back to physical presence, which is hardly ever addressed in the pickup community. I am not aware of anybody writing on it, but it’s been a while since I checked up on what the PUA crowd is up to as they have produced so very little of value. In short, physical presence affects people subconsciously. Have you ever moved out of the way because you felt someone coming? Surely some of you must have because that is a reaction I got a lot in clubs. When walking through the crowd, people who weren’t even looking at me were getting out of the way. Some certainly did so because they noticed their friends move aside, but people also notice when a towering giant approaches from behind.
There is also the deer-in-headlights effect when you walk through the crowd and some woman, particularly a shorter one, stops whatever she was doing and just stares at you as you walk in her direction. I got that quite regularly, thanks to being 6’3″ tall. My buddy Byte is 6’5″ and built like a bear — he got that kind of reaction as well, and more often than me. When he’s in pick-up mode, he doesn’t smile a lot either, by the way. He has more of a bouncer look going for him, though.
The takeaway is to realistically assess your look, mannerisms, and physique. There is not one true look to aspire to. Instead, there are many viable options. If the skinny pretty-boy archetype does not work, some other approach might. Of course, I am not saying that absolutely any look will work as that is decidedly not the case. Yet, you likely have a lot more leeway than you realize.
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