Before I moved to my new place, I had access to a basic but fully functional gym in my apartment complex. There is also a gym close to work, which I went to a few times for classes or massages. For that, you have to book online. Before your appointment, you talk to an employee at the counter who checks your payment details and then grants you access to the facilities. Those employees tend to be reasonably attractive young women with foreign accents. The one I normally dealt with used to treat me with quite some disdain. For context, I should add that I dress pretty casually for work if I don’t have to represent my employer. Almost all of us do that. In fact, I get the impression that people would consider your priorities misplaced if you were overly interested in your appearance as it might imply that you are superficial. In fact, our new employees normally adopt quickly and seem to find it liberating that they don’t have to bother putting on a suit.
Of course, if you have a serious job but don’t dress the part, the issue is that superficial people will judge you for it, such as that fine young woman working at the gym who seems to have viewed me as some kind of pleb. That was until I signed up for a full-year membership. My employer has an agreement with that gym. Because so many of us go there, we get a bit of a discount. In order to enjoy that perk, though, you have to give them the name of your employer, job title, and department. This is when things became interesting.
For context, I’ll add that the woman in question is at least in her mid-twenties. Therefore, she would have every reason to look for a provider. Also, from the fact that she is working at the reception of a gym, you can deduce that she is not the brightest bulb in the batch. Based on her accent, I’d say she is from within the European Union, possibly the Czech Republic. Some of her peers may have chosen to study abroad or look for a real job. She, on the other hand, seemed happy with performing low-skilled administrative tasks. That is the playbook of the ‘whore abroad’, i.e. women who have little to show for besides their looks and who hope they can snag a well-off husband through working in a position that allows them to meet many men. I’d bet that this is the motivation of more or less every foreign waitress working in a more affluent country abroad.
As it so happened, the ditz I mentioned above was handling my case. At first she seemed startled when I told her that I’d like to sign up for the corporate plan, mentioning my employer. “You work at that place?”, she inquired. I nodded. I got the form, and when she later on saw my job title, it seemed that a switch flicked in her head. Who knows, maybe she thought I’m the caretaker, or something like that. I was used to her giving me the cold shoulder and not even bothering with basic courtesy. Now, all of a sudden, she not only sought eye contact and gave me a big wide smile a total of eight times (I counted). Before that, I didn’t see her smile a single time.
What many men are oblivious to is that women send out subtle signals as well. One is to tilt their head slightly forward and then look up. This hits two attraction switches. First, it makes their forehead appear a bit bigger, which stresses neoteny. The other is that it indicates submission as she is looking up. She did that. I picked up on that and of course ignored it. From that day onward, she has been acknowledging me as a human being, granting basic courtesy like greeting an effing paying customer.
I couldn’t help but think that such behavior is not at all uncommon among women. If they think you don’t have resources, they bluntly ignore you. However, should they get the hint that you may not quite be as much of a loser as she initially thought, their behavior change completely, and instantaneously. This also works the opposite way. Once they have gotten what they needed, they may drop you at the drop of a hat. This works fine for young women until it no longer does. I don’t think guys behave in a similar way. My approach is to be neutral, if I have no good reason to dismiss you outright. Afterwards, it’s tit for tat. When it comes to women, it seems that guys are clearly willing to look past clothing. This does not mean that it does not matter what the woman looks like, quite the contrary. However, for the very most part, guys couldn’t care less about whether a woman dresses in more expensive clothes or not. If anything, it’s a red flag as it signals high maintenance. As a superficial woman looking for a meal ticket, you may act differently.
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