You can just walk away!

Blog reader Yarara left an interesting comment on my post on Fat Vegetarians. The entire exchange he is involved with is interesting, but one statement in particular stands out, and not just because it fits thematically to my last post, Everything you do is a reflection of your personality:

At the time I had a long time girlfriend who was messing up my life, although I was oblivious to that fact at the time. My quitting my job led to a big fight with her and I suddenly realized… I can walk out on her too!

Let that sink in for a while. Now, some of you may never have deliberately quit something. In fact, for most people, due to various poor choices in their life, they need to suck it up and endure the crappy situation they maneuvered themselves into. Others are more fortunate, though. Just imagine how you would carry yourself if you knew that you could walk out of your job any time — even if it’s a job you like. Or if you were aware that you could just walk away from your girlfriend. This doesn’t mean that she necessarily has to be a bitch. However, if your choices are due to a real or perceived lack of alternatives, I don’t think you are a happy person.

Many people seem to never have experienced a man with strong convictions. Have you ever gotten up on a date, and just walked off — leaving a girl behind, either throwing a fit, or being speechless? Have you ever dumped a girlfriend? Have you ever walked out of a job interview? Walked out of a meeting that was a waste of time? No, I’m not necessarily saying that you need to be a dick, but you can certainly decide that our expectations aren’t being met, so you simply won’t continue jumping through other people’s hoops. Yet, many people just much rather endure constant abuse. It seems they couldn’t function without it.

In fact, it is not at all uncommon that I bump into people who complain that their girl friend treats them like crap, or that their job sucks. Yet, if you asked them why they don’t dump their girl, or quit their job, they suddenly change their tone and tell you that “things aren’t really so bad”, or make some other ad-hoc claims that seem incongruent with their previous statements. For them, it’s also part of the victim identity they have been cultivating their whole life. Instead of taking responsibility, they expect sympathy. Sure, you could live life like that, or you could grow the fuck up.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below, but keep the comment policy in mind.
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7 thoughts on “You can just walk away!

    1. I didn’t know this one. But it sounds a bit sad to me.
      I’d prefer something more upbeat, when it comes to realizing that you actually are free if you chose to be:

      “You can take me to your bedroom
      You can take me to your heart
      You can take me to a climax
      I won’t fall apart
      But don’t count on me givin’ it
      All back to you
      Just because I’m hooked on livin
      Doesn’t mean I’m hooked on you”

  1. Agree with all of the above. I think for a lot of people who are constrained by a real lack of alternatives, it is consequence of poor spending/saving habits.

    If your money is so tight that you cannot support yourself being unemployed for at least a couple months, I might see it as somewhat risky to quit.

    I recall one of your past posts (or comments) saying most households in the US dont have even US$10.000 in savings, which I find odd. I dont consider myself rich, but my savings in usd are LOT more than 10k, and I live in a 3rd world country.

    Back then when I quit my job, I had saved enough cash to sustain myself for over 6 months without reining in my spending, or 9-10 months if I had cut back.

    I plan to add some additional comment to that in the new thread I started in the forum.

    1. Personally, I think that if you’re living paycheck to paycheck you’re simply fucked, no matter how much money you make. I have seen it way too often that people scale their expenses with their income. Instead of socking away the extra money they make due to a promotion, they take another vacation, or get a new car. It’s ridiculous. In my corner of the world it’s furthermore very common that people take out mortgages they are unable to pay back. They just pay interest. Of course, more money coming in is an excuse to get a bigger place.

      Thanks for that thread on my forum, by the way. I’ll chime in over the weekend.

  2. Hey Sleazy, you said: “In my corner of the world it’s furthermore very common that people take out mortgages they are unable to pay back. They just pay interest. Of course, more money coming in is an excuse to get a bigger place.”

    Are you based out of Germany? My impression was that Germans were not into the North American style of gorging on debt the way you described!

    1. Read up on the German real estate bubble. Germans have grown rather accustomed to gorging on debt the last few years. The same is true of many, if not all, Western countries.

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