Blog reader Yarara left an interesting comment on my post on Fat Vegetarians. The entire exchange he is involved with is interesting, but one statement in particular stands out, and not just because it fits thematically to my last post, Everything you do is a reflection of your personality:
At the time I had a long time girlfriend who was messing up my life, although I was oblivious to that fact at the time. My quitting my job led to a big fight with her and I suddenly realized… I can walk out on her too!
Let that sink in for a while. Now, some of you may never have deliberately quit something. In fact, for most people, due to various poor choices in their life, they need to suck it up and endure the crappy situation they maneuvered themselves into. Others are more fortunate, though. Just imagine how you would carry yourself if you knew that you could walk out of your job any time — even if it’s a job you like. Or if you were aware that you could just walk away from your girlfriend. This doesn’t mean that she necessarily has to be a bitch. However, if your choices are due to a real or perceived lack of alternatives, I don’t think you are a happy person.
Many people seem to never have experienced a man with strong convictions. Have you ever gotten up on a date, and just walked off — leaving a girl behind, either throwing a fit, or being speechless? Have you ever dumped a girlfriend? Have you ever walked out of a job interview? Walked out of a meeting that was a waste of time? No, I’m not necessarily saying that you need to be a dick, but you can certainly decide that our expectations aren’t being met, so you simply won’t continue jumping through other people’s hoops. Yet, many people just much rather endure constant abuse. It seems they couldn’t function without it.
In fact, it is not at all uncommon that I bump into people who complain that their girl friend treats them like crap, or that their job sucks. Yet, if you asked them why they don’t dump their girl, or quit their job, they suddenly change their tone and tell you that “things aren’t really so bad”, or make some other ad-hoc claims that seem incongruent with their previous statements. For them, it’s also part of the victim identity they have been cultivating their whole life. Instead of taking responsibility, they expect sympathy. Sure, you could live life like that, or you could grow the fuck up.