Surely, some of you have dated women who outrightly dismissed all their previous boyfriends. All of them were jerks, none of them deserved her, she is better off on her own, and those guys have only wasted her time. I won’t say that this is the standard way women look at past relationships, but it seems to be surprisingly common. Once a woman has decided to move on, she devalues the past experiences she has had with her partner, presumably so that she does not feel guilty when she hops onto the next guy’s dick.
Of course, logically it does not hold up in the slightest that all these men have “wasted” her time. She has wasted hers by moving on from a guy who was most likely willing to settle down. The time she spends with those guys she enjoys until she no longer does, and at that point she retrospectively considers the time “wasted”. Furthermore, women are much more likely than men to end a relationship, so who is the culprit her, statistically speaking?
Bizarrely enough, women seem to think that whenever they have a new partner, they start over from scratch. Her past supposedly does not matter because now she wants to be serious (for once). This thinking is so common that it has coalesced into the “what’s in the past is in the past” meme. Somehow, everywhere in life your past record is used as a predictor for future behavior, but if you use the same standard for female behavior, you are a big meanie.
The “blank slate” in female thinking can have many expressions. An obvious one is that she deletes the contact information of her ex, which is actually not all that common as a lot of women still try to extract favors from guys they have moved on from. Somehow that is OK in their mind whereas an ex-boyfriend who showed up and wanted to bang her again because he used to would be a reprehensible character. (Article continues below.)
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With social media, the blank slate finds a literal expression. Many women carefully curate their social media presence. This goes so far that it is a red flag if a woman has an extensive online presence as it indicates a level of attention-seeking that is unhealthy for a relationship. An example I recently heard about from a client was that a girl he started dating deleted her Instagram account. At first I thought that this was a great move as it indicated that she will stop chasing after online validation, similar to how you would expect a chick you met on Tinder to delete her profile if she’s serious. Yet, that woman did something else: She right away started a new Instagram profile from scratch, carefully picking the most popular pictures from her old one. A woman cleaning out her Instagram profile does the same as a woman who berates all her ex lovers. Pictures of her and those guys disappear and thus it is as if they never existed. Surely, if there is no readily available social media proof of her having had a string of boyfriends, it means that she’s basically a virgin, right?
While women who engage in such actions may think that it helps them cope with the present by constructing a mental image of themselves that is more palatable to them, the problem is that she cannot properly erase those years she wasted. She can only suppress her memories or pretend that those experiences did not matter. Yet, in her weak moments, she will get haunted by the consequences of those life decisions. When she sees women her age settle down and having kids, or when Chad yet again disappeared after just one night, she will seek refuge in eating a tub of ice cream and downing a bottle of red wine. If you think I am exaggerating and this phenomenon does not exist, then I would like to hear your alternative explanations why so many women, as they reach their late 20s, get increasingly bitter and resort to taking anti-depressants. There surely is a cause for this. Making bad decisions for two decades surely cannot be good for anyone’s mental health and if you belong to the sex that has been encouraged by society to waste its life, you will face an uphill battle if you want to be a happy and content adult. These women will not be able to erase their past, no matter how much they would like to.
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