(No, I’m not talking about killing her. Guys, seriously!)
One of my clients recently shared a very interesting story from his dating life with me. In short, he showed up on a date. The woman’s behavior could be described as disinterested to hostile, and after a while, he got up, wished her a good day, and walked off. You may now think that walking off from a date that doesn’t go well is nothing to write home about, but the exact opposite is true. There are legions of men who sit through painful dates, or even endure abusive relationships, just so that they can have sex. In some cases, the mere promise of sex keeps those men in line.
When the average Joe goes on a date, he is trying really hard to please the woman. He may have stories prepared to keep the conversation interesting. Of course, he pays for drinks. He may even drive her, or pay for a cab. If he follows the standard script, he’s happy to provide 12 to 16 hours of entertainment, i.e. three dates, all in the hope to get laid. In contrast, guys with self-esteem view dating much differently. Sure, PUAs of yore told you about “being the prize” and that it’s all just a matter of your “inner game”. However, if you aren’t a “prize” or catch, then you will find it very difficult to fake it ’til you make it. Yet, if you are a desirable man, you will find it very difficult to sit through a date with a woman with a bad attitude. Instead of having to remind yourself what kind of bad behavior you accept, and what you will excuse, you will react immediately if she does something you don’t like. Then you get up and leave.
When I first heard someone talk about the “power to walk away”, I thought it was an odd concept. To me, it was obvious that you could always just walk away. When I made my first forays in dating, I remember online dates where the woman sitting across from me looked nothing like she did on the pictures I on her profiles. Consequently, I excused myself very quickly, normally within a few minutes, but usually not without calling her out on her bullshit. What surprised me was that those women had absolutely no qualms about their behavior. One got quite upset because I “dared to walk away”, as she phrased it. Apparently, she felt that she was entitled to a top-shelf guy and her deceptions should not matter at all.
Many guys have to learn that they have the power to walk away, and this can only work if they know that they have other options. In the case of a woman who tricked you into agreeing on meeting up with her by means of sharing manipulated pictures, you should be mature enough to realize that you’re better off jerking off than subjecting yourself to that kind of travesty. That’s not even the worst part. I recently heard about a guy who ended up on a Tinder date with a feminist and she insisted on pegging him with a strap-on dildo before he could fuck her (at least that’s what she said; it may have been an empty promise and she only wanted to enjoy her power trip). That’s the point where I did not want to hear more. I don’t know if he went through with it but, clearly, if you are willing to demean yourself so much just in the hope of pounding some pussy, you need to work on yourself.
The look on the face of a person who feels entitled to your time, work, or presence as you walk away is priceless. That should not be the motivation, though. Instead of wanting to get back at her for tricking you, the angle should be that you respect yourself, which is why you now have to walk off. The remaining question is on how to walk off. You can do it gracefully or not-so-gracefully. Contrary to what you may think, considering my sometimes harsh language, I am not a blunt person in real life. I allow the other person to save face. I wasn’t always like that, but I have found that embarrassing someone in public isn’t really worth it. Furthermore, it isn’t the case that such a woman does not know that she wanted to bamboozle you and use your sense of propriety against you, i.e. she throught she could trick you because you would be too much of a gentleman to just drop her.
The blunt version is telling her that she looks nothing like on her pictures. Then you get up, thank her for paying for your drink (she hasn’t paid yet, but you won’t) and leave. I once ended such a date by telling her that “this is not going to happen”, and walked off without waiting for her reply. If you work in BigCorp, you must have developed your ability to act dishonestly, though. In that case, pull out your phone, glance at it, and tell her that you have just gotten a really important message and it’s something you need to take care of right now. Tell her that she’s looking great, and that you hope she can forgive you for now just walking off. Obviously, you are crestfallen that you have to leave. Maybe even tell her that you’ll make it up to her by inviting her to a nice restaurant. Then you get up, give her fake hug and a fake smile, and you’re off. Obviously, your words were as dishonest as her deeds, so you’ll just ghost her. You’ll probably end up picking a point between those two extremes. A good compromise is claiming that you need to urgently take care of something and have to go, dropping all the other fakery. In any case, you need to get out as soon as possible if you ever find yourself in such a date.
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