I do not think that anybody seriously questions that your level of success with women is primarily a question of looks, status, and money. This is the well-known LMS formula. Obviously, for a one-night stand, money and, perhaps, status are not the primary factors. If you are a broke Chad with very few future prospects, the number of women you could realistically bang exceeds your physical capabilities. On the other hand, for relationships money seems pretty important. This does not mean that looks and status are irrelevant but if you live off welfare then you are unlikely to be able to enter a relationship with the kind of women who happily banged you a few years ago but now that she is getting older is looking for something more serious and consequently for a guy who can provide stability.
A lot of guys aim to maximize their wealth, hoping that a fat wallet will be the key to the heart of the women of their dreams. After all, more money is arguably better than less, and having little to no money is not great at all. However, I find it quite misguided to think that money will solve your dating problems. The issue is that while having a lot of money may make you more attractive to women, it will not necessarily make those women more compatible with you.
Try putting yourself in the shoes of some deca-millionaire. Of course, if he announced his wealth to the world, there would be no shortage of women trying to latch on to him, even if they were only interested in a big payday. Yet, no matter what her motivations are, there is a good chance that she will not really be able to relate to him. Simplistically, you can divide rich people into old money and new money. People in the former camp take money as a given and may not necessarily brag about it. In contrast, the new-money crowd loves bling, which is why they are not really accepted by old money. Even the Romans spoke about this phenomenon and that was when there were much greater limits to conspicuous consumption than there are nowadays. The gaudy toga was the equivalent of today’s gold chains and Gucci track suits with the two-feet tall logo.
If you are a rich guy and get involved with a regular chick, chances are quite high that she will not be able to shake her personal approach towards money. There are women, often from a lower socioeconomic class, who lack all foresight. They spend their money without budgeting and, if needed, would rather not eat for a few days towards the end of the month, or take out a pay-day loan, than refrain from buying some useless bullshit. This behavior will not change if she gets access to greater amount of money. I had the privilege of partying with some rich guys at the French Riviera and heard some pretty incredible stories such as wealthy guys putting up some party girl in an apartment and giving her 30K per month as pocket money. The deal was that she could do whatever she wanted but if her rich donor was in town, he wanted to be able to drop by any time an do her. This is probably the jackpot for a sugar baby who does not want to fly to Dubai on the regular. The typical outcome seems to have been that these women blew essentially all the money they got, assuming that the gravy train would never stop.
Arguably, your best bet as a rich guy is to go for women who are also rich. Otherwise, there is always the question if she is largely or solely motivated by money, which is probably not the best foundation for a relationship. On a much smaller scale, this is also a problem for guys working in lucrative fields. Now that the tech bubble is bursting, nerds are probably going to have a much harder time generating female interest. However, any guy with a decent middle-class income should likewise be weary of dating women who can not really relate to his social rank. As women do not date down, this means that you need to scrutinize her spending behavior. Most certainly, she is not going to change that.
My ex-wife and the fact that we hit it off so well is also a good example of assortative mating. Yes, I know that I do not always speak in the highest tones of her, but there were some pretty good reasons why we got together. Obviously, there is the aspect of physical attraction — she was very attractive and got quite a few part-time modeling gigs, but obviously no international work — but a key aspect for why we kept seeing each other was that we had a very similar background. Her story was that her father rose through the ranks and got a well-compensated executive position. This impacted he in some ways, most primarily due to her parents giving her way too much freedom. Her family was fine with her being an artist, traveling, and partying. She met me when I likewise was in a phase where I enjoyed an overdose of paternal freedom, albeit my financial means were not quite at her level. Still, we led pretty similar lives, YOLO’ing hard. She was also very open-minded and not exactly uneducated. After having dated for a few years and enjoying a pretty bohemian lifestyle together for a few years, we also almost simultaneously decided to turn our lives around, and managed to so. Of course, she developed some other issues at the same time but that is a different story. Yet, the key aspect is that we managed to connect because of non-trivial biographical similarities.
My second wife happens to have a personality that is extremely similar to mine. I am not sure how she would have perceived me had I met her fifteen years ago, though, but this is entirely hypothetical due to our large age gap anyway. To this day, we have not had an actual fight and disagreements are rare but also easily resolved. Whenever we explore a topic together, it almost always happens in a highly cooperative way. Back-and-forth bickering is a complete unknown for us. On that note, I was amused when she once told me that some brief exchange was “our first fight”. I don’t even recall what it was about. The difference was apparently that I did not want to discuss something at length. Perhaps I was just more tired than she though I was. Anyway, in this relationship I think a key aspect is that we are very similar. This may sound like a contradiction compared to what I just wrote about my ex-wife, but the key aspect is that if you remove my YOLO’ing phase from my biography, I am a much different person.
I have also met plenty of women with which it was immediately obvious that there was absolutely no chance of a more substantial relationship. The mere thought of seeing them a second time sent shivers down my spine. Quite often, these women seemed to object to the books I had at home. It was not necessarily the kind of books but the possession of any book. One was puzzled why I was reading a book in a foreign language (“Isn’t there a translation?”), some other chick asked me why I have school books at home. I was puzzled by this and explored this further. It emerged that for her, books are what you buy because you have to and read because a teacher tells you to. The thought of buying a book, or library usage, was completely foreign to her. She did not go to university but I don’t think that this attitude is out of place nowadays. The most bizarre encounter was with a woman who saw a bilingual book on my desk, I think it was a Greek/German edition of one of the Socratic dialogues. She picked picked it up with two fingers, as if it was a rotten piece of bread and asked me what the f*ck this is, with an expression of disgust on her face. On a side note, if you ever encounter such a reaction, just ignore what she says and start undressing her. It may also help to present a more vanilla environment that the average woman can more easily relate to.
Overall, I think that the question of social rank is not taken seriously enough. True, for a one-night stand it may be less relevant but even for casual dating, you will likely notice that incompatibilities due to differences in background will be a significant obstacle. Arguably, more well-off guys are worse off in this regard because there are fewer women who will be able to genuinely relate to them. I do not think this is a “cope”. It is similar to tall women who are desired by a lot of men but who have a hard time finding a partner because she only wants a very tall guy. Of course, tall guys have much more options and have no problem with relating to shorter women, while short women, just like all women, prefer a guy taller than them.