In my article on the movie Cruel Intentions I mentioned that there is the temptation of the sons of well-off but not rich families to not develop any real ambition in life. Instead, they try to coast through life. This works well for a few years, but, as I pointed out, anyone not enjoying inter-generational wealth is likely to have a rude awakening. There is also the issue that guys who are blessed with good genetics, but who do not have money, sometimes lack grit because life, during their formative years, was too easy for them. Granted, their life is not quite as easy as a beautiful woman’s, but its roughly along the same lines. However, they do not have a good exit opportunity if they want to get by on their looks.
There is a certain allure to the party lifestyle, in particular if you are part of a loose-knit group that hangs out in all the cool places. As a guy, you do not quite enjoy the same kind of easy access any hot woman does, but if you are the caliber of guy hot women like to be seen with, you also at least occasionally get into the top clubs for free, and you can regularly skip the queue. People will invite you to drinks or to do drugs with them, and nobody seemingly spends much of a thought on the future. If you only go out on occasion, you may not even be aware that this world exists.
When I was living in London, I met quite a few foreign-born women from well-off families. This goes without saying, because scholarships are hard to come by, so most of the international students you will meet come from families with significantly more disposable income than the average. In this group, you commonly meet women to whom life seems to be nothing but a dress-up game. They do not even have any appreciation of all the family money they blow on frivolous bullshit like weekend shopping trips to Paris or Milan. Some of the biggest jokers I met studied their mother tongue abroad, i.e. the rich German girl got a degree in German Literature, the rich French girl one in French Literature, and so on. This meant that they had to hardly make an effort in order to earn their degree., If that was too much of an effort, perhaps because they did not enjoy reading, they pursued a degree in art or design at a second-tier college. Some had absolutely no conception of the real world.
If you are a young woman coming from a well-to-do family but are unable to acquire skills that would allow you to make a similar amount of money as your parents, then the only option is to marry a rich guy, but not without fucking a slew of Chads beforehand. This seems to be not quite easy as it sounds. I know some women who managed to avoid the rat race this way, but there are also others who ended up in fields as glamorous as fundraising, university administration, or journalism. This might not be so bad when they are still in their mid-20s, but if Prince Charming does not come along, then they are not in an enviable position. Perhaps SSRIs help them dull their senses, but in their more lucid moments they will surely regret their life’s decisions.
Pretty-boy Chad also enjoys some privileges. Getting women is not a particular challenge to him, and, if he so desires, he will be able to have a pretty active social life, even without spending a lot of effort on it. However, there is a turning point from which onward it is no longer cool that you don’t really have a job or one that is not particularly impressive. This normally happens when your loose-knit social group starts to dissolve. People eventually get chewed out of the party scene. Some end up in rehab, others move away, and your the bros you thought you were tightest with may settle down or get trapped with a baby by some thot. Pretty-boy Chad also has a shelf-life, and if he only has his looks going for him, it is a lot shorter than what a more well-rounded and well-above average looking guy gets to enjoy. The big difference is that the latter will meet a lot more girls who want to stick around, simply because they recognize the provider potential in him, and if there is one thing girls like more than banging Chad then it is banging Chad who has his life together.
Chads can really mess up their life. One guy I used to know experienced his once exciting lifestyle gradually fade away. He is now in his 30s, age has not been kind to him, and he is stuck in a dead-end office job. He probably peaked in his last year in college. Another guy who used to be a good friend of mine, perhaps a bit like an older brother even, could never resist women. To him, it did not matter if some hot chick seemed dodgy. I used to stay clear of women I found attractive but whom I had a bad feeling about. He, on the other hand, went in dick first and more often than not, he ended up with yet another bizarre story to tell. If a hot chick was riding his dick and she asked him if he wanted to do drugs, he’d do it. When he was at the tail end of his pick-up career, he met a B-tier actress, a woman who managed to land quite a few roles on national TV but whose career had stalled. When this was over, he ended up briefly in a psychiatric ward, and he was in rehab, too. This episode aged him tremendously, and he comes across as a different person nowadays, but not in a good way. He is a broken man. In the past, he made ends meet as a freelance journalist. When I last heard about him from a mutual friend, he had a job in a warehouse. It’s quite a tragedy.
Good looks, if you do not have your head screwed on tightly, can be a big disadvantage. In your youthful exuberance, you may believe that you will always be young and attractive, and that life is one long, never-ending party. Nothing could be further from the truth. Women have their plan B, which may be more difficult to realize nowadays than ten or twenty years ago, but it is still an option. They only need to find a well-off guy who is into them. Guys, on the other hand, do not have this option. If you do not play your cards well, you could easily end up having a blast during your teenage years and adolescence, followed by decades of misery. They end up in a spot comparable to the 40-year-old “cool wine aunt” nobody likes.
I believe GoodlookingandSleazy (you still around,man?) mentioned having strong Anti-Game and not realizing his good looks in the past,because of a toxic childhood. I come from a rather similar background. I believe I’ve spoken a lot of Martial Arts,Fighting,and Bullies. unfortunately,that was the reality of my situation as a kid in school. and because of my low status in the environment (I eventually switched to an All-boys school though where I finished my high school years),any female classmate who might be interested,would not readily admit it in fear of their own status taking a hit.
I mention this as the opposite end of the coin of the phenomenon Sleazy talks about here. If these folks were so spoiled rotten that they were never inclined to seriously think of the big picture,and then there are those of us who were so overwhelmed by the misfortune of our initial environment that we also didn’t get the chance to develop ourselves in order to address the big picture.
Here’s an example I’d like to link:
https://www.facebook.com/WimDemeerePage/posts/5643442505707441/
As said by the poster here (Highly recommend him as a self-defense instructor!),many kids raised in “the hood” never make it to adulthood. The skills to survive in “The Life” are unfortunately not the same thing as the skills you need to escape The Life (which is really the ultimate winning strategy. I don’t care how badass you are,your time is on countdown the longer you stay in your awful environment) and most importantly; the (social) skills to integrate yourself into civilized society.
When I graduated high school more than a decade ago,the big picture was not at all in my mind. I was a LOT more concerned about getting into serious MA/Combat training than I was about how I could make a living and sustain myself in society. (actually,that’s an understatement. the latter was not in my mind,AT ALL. and there is something to be said for that considering high school is often the beginning for normies to seriously ponder on this matter)
Looking back,in my opinion,it was a mistake for my parents to push me into going to college right away. What I strongly believe I SHOULD have been doing instead was start my fat loss/weight loss journey right away and introduced to the gym and its culture. This gives me not only time to much more quickly address my physical problem (I’m lighter today than I was in that time,but our bodyweight was rather close. Losing the amount of weight I have now at that moment in time would have resulted in my fat loss journey finishing much faster) but even time to psychologically/emotionally heal from the past. Time to figure out how different life and high school really are. (If you remember,I’ve often said that the usual good self-defense advice of being willing to swallow pride and walking away are unfortunately not very applicable to toxic high school. I have upsetted many folks with that viewpoint of mine. especially school teachers. the same teachers who won’t do anything to actually help the victims. lol)
I say all this even though college DID give me the time to heal and develop social skills. by the time I got out of college,I could talk to strangers and be pleasant acquaintances with them right away. Folks I train with in the weightroom and Martial arts seem to generally have a positive reception to me. But it could have been spent even more productively IMO with the above approach.
Here’s the big thing though that I did right(aside from fighting back. I firmly believe I would be so much worse off psychologically/emotionally had I never fought back)…I allowed any social connection I had to high school fade off right away as soon as I graduated. I didn’t reach out to my high school (some fellow classmates who similarly weren’t respected were somehow eager to still interact with the toxic bullies. Even if they’re not assholes anymore today,they certainly still were at that specific point in time. Are people really THAT afraid to be alone. it boggles my mind really) and ignored them when they tried to ping me in group chats. As several years passed by,when I was actually forced to interact with any of these dudes,the interaction was now pleasant. I feel as though only doing Caleb Jones’ “soft-next” technique thingy he advocated works for volatile friendships/interactions. People seem a lot less eager to be asses to you when they haven’t seen you in awhile and they see big changes.
This message is going to get too long if I go any further so I’ll end that here. Even if I could go back in time though and let my parents know this plan,would they have listened? probably not. I don’t say this because I want to make excuses for people to stay in a rut,but it can’t be overstated just how bad parents can really set you up for an awful start,if not an outright “unwinnable start” (I’m not saying my parents are THAT bad though). but I think that’s a fact you already knew Aaron,as you have a post here discussing how family can actually hold you back.
My apologies if going a bit into my lifestory here is a bit out of topic,but I wanted to depict the opposite side of the coin of the issue you speak of. Some of us get so overwhelmed by initial life circumstances that we don’t get the chance to think and address the big picture in our formative years.
Regarding the video, there is also the problem that some ethnicities have a much higher propensity towards violence. If such people furthermore grow up in an environment in which violence is used as the primary means of conflict resolution, this obviously compounds.
Hey Maou, yeah I’m still here bro. Took an extended break, but I’m back. About the cycle of violence, it is both nature and nurture. I think that’s why there is so much violence in the inner cities. Some guys are just born to kick ass. My dad grew up middle class, but was a bar room brawler. His dad was a naval officer in WWII. Saw unimaginable shit there that would fuck anyone up.
So the war fucked my grandfather up, which in turn fucked up my dad up, and so on. I inherited the fighting gene but gave up physical confrontation a long time ago. But the fire is still there. Both from genetics and the environmental consequences. I get in the gym when I can. Martial Arts could do wonders for me.
@GoodLookingAndSleazy
I say go for it when you have the time/can afford to do so! If you enjoy fighting,its definitely a healthy way (well,as “healthy” as fighting can get. lets be real about this. lol) to fulfill that desire.
Truth be told,even though I got into fights in my past,it was out of necessity. Not because I enjoyed physical altercations/conflict,but out of necessity to get the bullies off my back. (That said,I’m definitely not going to deny I enjoyed handing them a well-deserved ass kicking. lol) I was definitely not the kind of guy who fought for the sake of fighting.
I definitely enjoy sparring. (actually,I might be having a little too much fun hard sparring. Not good for my brain health to do this too often,haha. I get in as much light sparring sessions as I can though because its a chance to experiment and evolve my game. The importance of light sparring seems rather underrated to many. Its not just for beginners!) But its definitely not the same thing as a street altercation or even close,not even the most intense full-contact sessions. (Unless it outright escalates into a real fight with actual malice,but that’s a different kettle of fish. lol)
I think you already understand what I speak of above though so I’m not gonna get too much into it here. Either way,I do recommend giving it a try. the bug might bite you too!
Aaron if those guys come from a wealthy family shouldn’t they inherit money and be fine? If those two guys come from money, I would be surprised if the guy with the dead end office job or the freelancer wouldn’t have their own nice apartments (thanks to their daddies) plus maybe some more real estate which provides them investment income.
The second guy I mentioned struggles financially. His lifestyle consisted of spending all the money he made, and he even declared personal bankruptcy at some point, perhaps even twice.
The key aspect is intergerational wealth. If you come from a family with a total net worth of several million and you are the only son, you can certainly afford to coast through life as your money will not run out. You will even be in a position to nominally grow your wealth as your income from investments, dividends, or interest payments exceeds your living expenses. Someone from this background may very well be friends with the son of a successful lawyer or doctor. (I am not talking about a dynasty of lawyers of doctors!) They often even spend money at a comparable level. However, the inheritance of the latter will not allow them to sustain this lifestyle, and if they have never learned how to deal with money, they will not even get close to the socioeconomic position of their parents.
Reading the account of such stories, remembering similar stories from people I know or once knew or simply observed, and reflecting on my own “sexual past” in hindsight I can really say that me being a downright loser, sexually and relagionship-wise from age 10 until about age 26, has been an absolute blessing for my overall situation in life, now and quite likely for the future.
That during those first sixteen years of horniness, fruitless agility in getting anywhere with women and loneliness I did NOT get snatched up by a toxic woman, did NOT move in with such a female, did NOT waste my time and energy on such endeavours, like on drugs, alcohol-fueled partying nights, that I did NOT father an untimely child with the wrong woman (and I know a handful of guys who have!), that I did NOT naïvely invest into a family, only to get fleeced and wrecked in divorce court – is such a huge blessing.
Granted, I’m living an overall solitary and focused existence, without one steady woman or kids in my life – but I at least still have an option to change that should I really want to.
I’m 46 years old now, women regularly think I’m 35, and with my shirt off the situation of the sexual dynamic looks even better. I dress well (even exquisitely well at times) and I feel an overall sense of lasting contentment about my life. My life and my overall finances are stable and well organized, I have much younger female openly flirting with me and I can even enjoy the luxury of rejecting attractive women throwing themselves at me, because – in contrast to my teen and twen years – I can now gauge quite well, whether I would want to let a woman even partially into my life or not. And with most women nowadays, at least where I love, apart from a fling, there is nothing much that connects me to her, and a myriad of features I find absolutely repelling.
In no small part thanks to Sleazy for years I have been able to enjoy the confidence of going out to large enough venues, enjoying myself tremendously and knowing that – should I wish to – I could get at least BJ and some fingering and nice tit-sucking out of such a night from women who are strongly sexually interested in me, and who I equally find appealing.
Does that turn me into a “Great Gatsby” 2.0 character? No, because the vast majority of any initially appealing women I encounter are essentially toxic, and since I can live quite well on my own, there is no need to cling to such encounters or pull them into my existence.c
The key realization for me here is: Sexually and socially this is EX-AC-TL-Y what I would have desired to be and to experience during my dry spell adolescent years, starting at age 10 (yes, I was an early horndog). I would have given literally anything at that time to get elevated to such a higher level of “socio-sexual competence”, to “finally get a girlfriend” or to “easiky fuck many rotating girlfriends” etc. pp., like a person trapped in a scorchingly hot desert dying of thirst. And I can be SO UTTERLY GLAD and relieved that I didn’t because I wouldn’t have been able to manage it at that time, it would have wrecked me in one way or the other. Just like it did to many of suchs born chads or to a somewhat lesser extent to my normie male friends.
In my huble opinion, this is a realistic message, an idea that should be spread to all of those younger males, who are now growing up in this porn- and social media-contaminated societal environment. Their desires are fueled even stronger with all those thrist-traps than during my younger years and they are either left thirsty or willingly running into the arms of their emotional, sexial and financial demise.
Ian Fleming (whose novels are pretty red-pilled) wrote about people like this. He describes them as having gorged themselves on everything good in life to the point where they’re sick of it by age 25 or 30, leaving nothing ahead but drugs, despair, and suicide. Indeed that seems to be just what happened to his own son, born late in his life as the money from the James Bond franchise started rolling in.
One of Herman Wouk’s novels has as its antagonist a male Stacy. An older woman seduces him early on, which of course other women quickly pick up on in a virtuous circle, so he’s drowning in pussy until he’s 40. As a result, he’s a foul-up who can’t hold a job for more than a couple of months, even when he charms his way into the fast track to an executive position at Paramount despite having no experience. Ironically, he has some scathing observations on female Stacys. As he puts it, one day they sprout breasts and shut off their brains and just ride the wave of male attention, until they hit the wall and discover they’ve pissed their lives away.