Meeting Women

Picking Up Women and the Question of Social Rank

Aaron "Sleazy" Elias

I do not think that anybody seriously questions that your level of success with women is primarily a question of looks, status, and money. This is the well-known LMS formula. Obviously, for a one-night stand, money and, perhaps, status are not the primary factors. If you are a broke Chad with very few future prospects, the number of women you could realistically bang exceeds your physical capabilities. On the other hand, for relationships money seems pretty important. This does not mean that looks and status are irrelevant but if you live off welfare then you are unlikely to be able to enter a relationship with the kind of women who happily banged you a few years ago but now that she is getting older is looking for something more serious and consequently for a guy who can provide stability.

A lot of guys aim to maximize their wealth, hoping that a fat wallet will be the key to the heart of the women of their dreams. After all, more money is arguably better than less, and having little to no money is not great at all. However, I find it quite misguided to think that money will solve your dating problems. The issue is that while having a lot of money may make you more attractive to women, it will not necessarily make those women more compatible with you.

Try putting yourself in the shoes of some deca-millionaire. Of course, if he announced his wealth to the world, there would be no shortage of women trying to latch on to him, even if they were only interested in a big payday. Yet, no matter what her motivations are, there is a good chance that she will not really be able to relate to him. Simplistically, you can divide rich people into old money and new money. People in the former camp take money as a given and may not necessarily brag about it. In contrast, the new-money crowd loves bling, which is why they are not really accepted by old money. Even the Romans spoke about this phenomenon and that was when there were much greater limits to conspicuous consumption than there are nowadays. The gaudy toga was the equivalent of today’s gold chains and Gucci track suits with the two-feet tall logo.

If you are a rich guy and get involved with a regular chick, chances are quite high that she will not be able to shake her personal approach towards money. There are women, often from a lower socioeconomic class, who lack all foresight. They spend their money without budgeting and, if needed, would rather not eat for a few days towards the end of the month, or take out a pay-day loan, than refrain from buying some useless bullshit. This behavior will not change if she gets access to greater amount of money. I had the privilege of partying with some rich guys at the French Riviera and heard some pretty incredible stories such as wealthy guys putting up some party girl in an apartment and giving her 30K per month as pocket money. The deal was that she could do whatever she wanted but if her rich donor was in town, he wanted to be able to drop by any time an do her. This is probably the jackpot for a sugar baby who does not want to fly to Dubai on the regular. The typical outcome seems to have been that these women blew essentially all the money they got, assuming that the gravy train would never stop.

Arguably, your best bet as a rich guy is to go for women who are also rich. Otherwise, there is always the question if she is largely or solely motivated by money, which is probably not the best foundation for a relationship. On a much smaller scale, this is also a problem for guys working in lucrative fields. Now that the tech bubble is bursting, nerds are probably going to have a much harder time generating female interest. However, any guy with a decent middle-class income should likewise be weary of dating women who can not really relate to his social rank. As women do not date down, this means that you need to scrutinize her spending behavior. Most certainly, she is not going to change that.

My ex-wife and the fact that we hit it off so well is also a good example of assortative mating. Yes, I know that I do not always speak in the highest tones of her, but there were some pretty good reasons why we got together. Obviously, there is the aspect of physical attraction — she was very attractive and got quite a few part-time modeling gigs, but obviously no international work — but a key aspect for why we kept seeing each other was that we had a very similar background. Her story was that her father rose through the ranks and got a well-compensated executive position. This impacted her in some ways, most primarily due to her parents giving her way too much freedom. Her family was fine with her being an artist, traveling, and partying. She met me when I likewise was in a phase where I enjoyed an overdose of paternal freedom, albeit my financial means were not quite at her level. Still, we led pretty similar lives, YOLO’ing hard. She was also very open-minded and not exactly uneducated. After having dated for a few years and enjoying a pretty bohemian lifestyle together for a few years, we also almost simultaneously decided to turn our lives around, and managed to so. Of course, she developed some other issues at the same time but that is a different story. Yet, the key aspect is that we managed to connect because of non-trivial biographical similarities.

My second wife happens to have a personality that is extremely similar to mine. I am not sure how she would have perceived me had I met her fifteen years ago, though, but this is entirely hypothetical due to our large age gap anyway. To this day, we have not had an actual fight and disagreements are rare but also easily resolved. Whenever we explore a topic together, it almost always happens in a highly cooperative way. Back-and-forth bickering is a complete unknown for us. On that note, I was amused when she once told me that some brief exchange was “our first fight”. I don’t even recall what it was about. The difference was apparently that I did not want to discuss something at length. Perhaps I was just more tired than she though I was. Anyway, in this relationship I think a key aspect is that we are very similar. This may sound like a contradiction compared to what I just wrote about my ex-wife, but the key aspect is that if you remove my YOLO’ing phase from my biography, I am a much different person.

I have also met plenty of women with which it was immediately obvious that there was absolutely no chance of a more substantial relationship. The mere thought of seeing them a second time sent shivers down my spine. Quite often, these women seemed to object to the books I had at home. It was not necessarily the kind of books but the possession of any book. One was puzzled why I was reading a book in a foreign language (“Isn’t there a translation?”), some other chick asked me why I have school books at home. I was puzzled by this and explored this further. It emerged that for her, books are what you buy because you have to and read because a teacher tells you to. The thought of buying a book, or library usage, was completely foreign to her. She did not go to university but I don’t think that this attitude is out of place nowadays. The most bizarre encounter was with a woman who saw a bilingual book on my desk, I think it was a Greek/German edition of one of the Socratic dialogues. She picked picked it up with two fingers, as if it was a rotten piece of bread and asked me what the f*ck this is, with an expression of disgust on her face. On a side note, if you ever encounter such a reaction, just ignore what she says and start undressing her. It may also help to present a more vanilla environment that the average woman can more easily relate to.

Overall, I think that the question of social rank is not taken seriously enough. True, for a one-night stand it may be less relevant but even for casual dating, you will likely notice that incompatibilities due to differences in background will be a significant obstacle. Arguably, more well-off guys are worse off in this regard because there are fewer women who will be able to genuinely relate to them. I do not think this is a “cope”. It is similar to tall women who are desired by a lot of men but who have a hard time finding a partner because she only wants a very tall guy. Of course, tall guys have much more options and have no problem with relating to shorter women, while short women, just like all women, prefer a guy taller than them.

51 thoughts on “Picking Up Women and the Question of Social Rank”

  1. Aaron,
    Why would Billionaire Jeff Bezos settle down with Lauren Sanchez who’s way past her prime and obsolete? He can easily settle down with a young 20 year old, and if that’s too young for him he can always opt for a 30 year old. I’ve seen some clips on social media telling women that older women are still desirable pinpointing to Bezos as proof.

    Reply

    1. Could societal pressure be a possible factor? We just talked about the topic back at Open Thread #38. Normies gawk at big age differences.

      But at the same time,Bezos is at the social status level where that shit shouldn’t matter. He’s got “Fuck you” money. So what gives? I don’t know either.

      Maybe the woman is able to relate to him on a very personal level that most others don’t? I seriously doubt it,but its a possible explanation.

    2. Maybe he is just completely clueless about women due to being a short baldcel? I won’t be surprised if he never had free sex but at the same time is not willing to hire escort for some reason. If that’s the case, he probably feels lucky having any woman in his life. His previous wife wasn’t attractive either.

    3. He met his previous wife when he was a regular wage cuck. Nonetheless, I do not think that Bezos traded up. Maybe he has been hanging with the wrong crowd and believed that some of the women he saw other rich guys with were their wives and girlfriends instead of busted hookers. Didn’t some busted escort try to extort some extra money from Trump a while ago? That chick looked as if she should pay men to put their dick in her.

    5. To be fair DiCaprio is a good example that’s it’s not about looks. He looks like an average dude. Yes he was good looking 25 years ago. But that pretty boy look only looks good in early 20s. Those guys age the worst.

      The girls who bang him now weren’t even born when he looked good.

    6. @Alek, I think he pulled off the mature look since about the time he made The Aviator, up till The Wolf of Wall Street at least. Right now that he’s almost 50, yeah, he’s already past the wall now looks-wise.

    7. The fact that DiCaprio just sheer towered over Bezos here probably played a non-insignificant factor.

      https://blog.aaronsleazy.com/index.php/2019/08/11/the-ultimate-post-on-male-height/

      Not that I think you needed that pointed out,Alek.

      Regardless though,its still worth it to accumulate capital for reasons already obvious and mentioned,so lets mention another example…One very insightful comment I saw in one of the videos of youtuber “Rehab Room” (I’d be surprised if you guys weren’t familiar with him. I learned the term “oofy-doofy” from him,lol) is that as a “manlet”,he knows he’ll never be able to get dimes. But it is still worth it to go to the gym and train MMA. Because while that is not going to change his personal situation with women,it will at least help keep human predators and dickheads off his back. He understands the meaning of the saying “More Trouble than I am Worth”. Smart man.

    8. Alek:

      I hadn’t taken a look at what he looks like in a long time. 🙂 While I don’t agree he looks average for his age (I’d say he’s slightly above average – again, for his age), you’re right that he’s definitely no heartthrob any more.

      He’s also tall (though not super tall – like 6-7 cm taller than the average American, assuming the sources I checked are reliable), but that definitely helps him tower over the short Jeff Bezos (who’s only 171 cm according to a quick Google search).

    9. While I don’t agree he looks average for his age

      I didn’t say he looks “average for his age”. I mean out of all the guys on the mating market meeting younger chicks, on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the best looking guys, his current looks are a 6; It doesn’t matter that most guys his age are a 4. It’s irrelevant.

      Girls don’t go “he’s above average for his age, let me fuck him”. There is no such factor in how chicks assess bangability. It’s not like “He’s a 6, buuuut he’s old, so I’ll get turned on as much as if he was an 8”.

      They bang him due to status, reputation etc.

    10. Put another way: he is competing with 30 year old men. He doesn’t look any better than the average 30 year old guy.

    11. Jeff Bezos is a manlet and the women he can date could also get other rich men. Sure, he is one of the richest men in the world, if we ignore royals and banking dynasties we are told to have disappeared, but for a washed-up actress looking for a meal-ticket, I do not think that it makes a difference if the guy is worth $200m or $1bn as there probably are no appreciable lifestyle differences, and if there are then they probably are not big enough to justify banging the manlet-billionaire over the hot scion who is merely worth a few dozen million bucks. Lauren Sanchez can consider herself very lucky to have gotten Bezos and considering that there are a lot of women out there who are more attractive, we can probably safely assume that they prefer banging a dude who is not as wealthy but scores much higher in the looks department.

  2. I’m somewhat curious about your decision to marry a second time. Could you share what advantages or positive aspects you see in this choice?

    Reply

    1. My wife cheekily asked me the other day when I am going to reply to your question. It would be a tad too personal even though I reveal quite a bit about my life on this blog. She also sent me a link to this article and highlighted the two comments below:
      https://www.unz.com/jtaylor/sex-habits-of-our-fellow-americans/#comment-6407971

      Comment 1:

      Any white male is a fool not to have a Chinese woman at the top of his wife material search.

      And to all the white nationalist anti-miscegenation types frowning on this comment, well, you can have white females. And good luck with them. I had a dozen years of relationships with different white women and after a few months it was always a chore with nagging and bitching. Luckily I married the first Asian I had a relationship with and after 18 years of marriage I’ve had zero nagging, zero bitching, regular sex, and a high IQ-ed partner that understands complex things effortlessly.

      Comment 2:

      I’m also very happily married to an Asian lady, who has borne me many children, is very attractive, intelligent (fluent in three languages and learning a fourth), trustworthy, kind, reasonable, loving, and works hard for her husband and babies. A blessing to me beyond what I deserve. I’m grateful for her every day.

      But my experience with dating white women wasn’t nearly as universally bleak as yours, apparently. I met some quality white women, from smart-enough to quite smart, sexy and passionate but not promiscuous, of good character, industrious, reliable. One of these likely would be my wife today if she had been a bit younger and not had children already when we met; we are still friends and communicate occasionally (with my wife in the loop!).

      Another white woman whom I could have married — the most conventionally beautiful woman I ever dated (other than my wife ???? — I flubbed. I was most of the problem — too immature and selfish to realize what I had and how hard it is to find toda, to approach her differently, to give up chasing other girls, and to make it work.

      On the other hand, it would seem that white women in the USA, Europe and Russia increasingly have unrealistic material expectations, and lack a serious commitment to marriage, children, and normal, loyal, long-term life together raising a family. Let alone an understanding of, and commitment to, the many useful, kind, practical and just principles that characterized our civilization, on balance, despite all our faults and sins.

      I imagine that younger guys trying to find a white wife who wants children nowadays, have a harder time than I did. In other words, white women are moving generally in the wrong direction, with more and more similar to those whom you encountered. To be fair, white men are moving mostly in the wrong direction too; it’s just that I didn’t care about them, lol…

      Imagine how difficult it is for a man who’s seeking a white wife willing to bear and raise a larger family, as my wife and I are doing (thank God!). Where are such women except in hardcore traditional christian or muslim communities? How is a man to land such a woman without joining her particular cult and pretending to believe its absurd, cruel or pointless parts?

      Then again, there are some nice mostly-European-descended women in majority-Muslim places, like Tatars, Chechens, some Turks, and some Syrians, Lebanese, and Palestinians. We’d rather have our sons marry one of them, than never marry and/or never have many children and/or have a constant struggle dealing with a spoiled, materialistic, and ungodly “modern” Western white woman.

  3. I’m bemused by the discussion here, and in other postings, that seem to imply that young attractive women are only interested in the top 10%, or even 1%, of men who are tall, very fit, very attractive, very successful. I’m 5’7″, not athletic, only financially comfortable, only a little bit good-looking, not domineering or well-known; but over the decades I’ve had many younger attractive women flirt and/or hit on me. This sometimes has led to dates and relationships, and I was not even trying to get these women!

    Reply

    2. Steven, you grew up in a different time. Your dating life primarily happened before the Internet went fully mainstream. Regular men today will not be able to replicate such experiences. The high percentage of men in their 20s nowadays who have never had sex is a good illustration of this problem.

    3. Oh, this is the guy from that generation? I forgot. Thought someone was trolling us.

      I caught the tailend of the previous generation when my older cousin took me out socializing when I was still a kid. It was a completely different time. Like every girl was approachable, everyone talked to everyone. Then it started getting worse with my generation. And now with the newer generation guys it’s another magnitude more difficult.

      Scott Galloway used to talk how easy it is (just leave the house and say hi and you’ll have a harem), but fortunately he changed his tune after he was informed by younger viewers how different things are today.

      Like the dude dated before the internet or cellphones, let alone social media or tinder.

    4. I could very well be wrong about the whole topic (because I’m not a boomer.),but just to throw my 2 cents regarding the whole “The Dating era for Boomers” topic…

      I think its true that Boomers had it better on the dating scene when they are adults in hobby/niche circles and as college/university.

      But I don’t think its generally true that dating in pre-college was all that easy even for them. At least not for non-chads.

      In the past,I’ve described that mainstream schooling is not that different from Prison and Violent Neighborhoods in terms of Social Dynamics. Your Reputation/Status mattered a very great deal if you didn’t want to spend a miserable life there.

      One of the recent topics mentioned here is that Women do not appreciate being hit on after they see you attempt 10 other women before her and fail. WheatWaffles got into the topic in one of his older videos,he called it “Poisoning The Well”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaD5id1qzSM (watch till 4:14)

      If you sent me back in time with everything I know now,I wouldn’t dare attempt to hit on any female classmate. I’d say that was one of the few things I got right when I was in school. Maybe the rules are different for top-tier Chads,but if a non-chad youngster were to ask for my advice,I would recommend they try their luck in a niche outside school,where they don’t risk damage to reputation in case things don’t work out.

      I finished out high school in an all boys school,but spent my elementary till first year of high school in a regular gender intermixed school. Female classmates generally treated me with disdain back in the day. You couldn’t really blame me for my massive anti-game in college. it really took time to set in that my situation had completely changed post-high school. Women eventually souring and throwing a fit at me because I couldn’t read their signals and wouldn’t hit on them. I really wasn’t prepared for that experience.

      We’ve talked about how Status has a real effect on attraction. Maybe part of the reason I was treated with disdain wasn’t really for my looks (I became much fatter in college than I was in high school,thankfully I’ve reversed that now.),but because of my bottom tier status back in the day combined with timidity/unhelpful mannerisms. Similar reason as to why Lisbon was getting treated like shit.

      Once again,showing how the mainstream schooling system just damages everybody! “The Skills to Survive The Life are not the same skills you need to get out of The Life” statement definitely also applies to mainstream school. Many of the coping mechanisms you are forced to adopt inside of it hinders you for success outside of it later on.

    5. @Maou why does that matter? Most people met outside school system. So I don’t see why it’s relevant if it was just as difficult to pickup chicks in high school or what not.

      Point is that in the other 276 contexts, it was magnitudes easier than it is today.

    6. I’ve told many that college is super overrated for getting girls. Not much different than anywhere else. Guys always have dreams about the grass being greener on the other side. A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Just part of the scam to get us in a heap of debt.

    7. It depends a lot on where or what you study. You probably find no higher concentration of attractive and adventurous women, er, super sluts than in art school. I have also heard that the women in law programs can be very straightforward, albeit they surely provide a different experience than the uninhibited art-school crowd that is YOLO’ing and has no concept of money because daddy pays for absolutely everything. Also, any university that is an attractive destination for foreign (non-third-world) students allows you to sample women from all over the world.

      The only problem is that if you do not enter university with well-developed social skills you can easily waste the first one or two years. In my first or second year I remember I ran into a female student from Odessa, an extremely beautiful woman. She sat down next to me in a lecture and we somehow ended up hanging out until the late afternoon. Because I was far from the man I later became this fizzled out even though it should have been a slam dunk. Still, at university you can meet a lot of young and sexually available women in a relatively short amount of time, and in a lot of different circumstances. You cannot easily replicate this elsewhere.

    8. In the US it’s very hard to go right into a four year university. So by the time you qualify you’re already 21 and can into bars and night clubs. So when my friends dream of the experiences they would have had if they went to college, I tell them to just go to a bar. It’s essentially the same thing, and much cheaper.

    9. @GoodLookingAndSleazy
      Is the Gaslamp District in Downtown San Diego still good or has it changed for the worse?

    10. I haven’t been in a while. Its definitely one of the top spots. Pacific Beach and Ocean Beach are good depending on your scene. Also, North Park after gentrification became a pretty happening place. Gaslamp is very expensive, so be prepared if you go. Tough competition, lots of rich dudes.

    11. “The only problem is that if you do not enter university with well-developed social skills you can easily waste the first one or two years.”

      – Yup. That’s a big part of the reason I hold the opinion that I do here:

      https://blog.aaronsleazy.com/index.php/2023/08/09/the-dangers-of-chads-living-the-stacy-lifestyle/

      ______
      Looking back,in my opinion,it was a mistake for my parents to push me into going to college right away. What I strongly believe I SHOULD have been doing instead was start my fat loss/weight loss journey right away and introduced to the gym and its culture.
      _______

      Today’s world really is completely different from the world Boomers lived in. It is unfortunately all too easy to completely waste your college years by being forced into it when you’re not ready. In Boomer era,all you had to do is get that degree and you’re set. today,the connections (That I simply didn’t have the Wherewithal to pursue or take advantage of for reasons I already described) you make in college likely has more of an effect on your future than whether you graduate.

      @GLAS
      “Guys always have dreams about the grass being greener on the other side.”

      LOL! Boy,ignorance is bliss. Here where I live,college students being heavily depressed or even suicidal (I numbered among them back in the day) is not uncommon. I’ve been through college and I would never in a million years volunteer to go back there in my country.

      The only way I would even entertain the thought of going back to college,particularly for the purpose of mingling with younger chicks,is if you moved to a country with an evolved Education and Schooling system like Finland and The Netherlands.

      I wouldn’t expect it to be easy of course,so you’d have to decide for yourself if the potential payoff is worth it,but at least you’d be dealing with a fairer and more competent system and teacher staff.

      Anyway,College coulda been a game changer for me if only I was given time to help get my head in the game. Maybe just a year or two of Gym and Part-time Job social experience before college would have been enough.

      Not that I would volunteer to go back in time and relive that experience again. The schooling experience here is hell even without the bullies.

    12. There were bullies in my dorm. The guy I roomed with was a complete ass hole, and was a ringleader of sorts. I didn’t have much time outside of school and work to build friendships. So they talked shit like the bitches that they were. Didn’t get much better when I moved out.

      My sister’s had already damaged me to be targets for bullies. I’ve learned my lessons. Never more.

    13. People who have been lucky enough to get a positive feedback loop going from the start unfortunately take a lot of things for granted.

      For example,I have seen the advice for folks prone to bullying to just “copy the normies who get left alone”. Yeah,good advice…if only that was something you could do immediately upon having read it. You can’t just magically change your vibe (mannerisms,demeanor,etc.) like that. Since I haven’t really had much encounter with douchebags in such a long time,I think I’ve mostly shed off the vibe,but it took me years of socializing in the right place (The only credit I give my college experience,but it could have been a hell of a lot more efficient) before I got to that place. and I still don’t think I have it fully down,and probably never will. but at least its gotten good enough to the point I don’t have the vibe that attracts bullies.

      I’ve softened a little bit on my stance regarding the “Every Man should learn how to Fight” subject. Sure,if you’ve lived your life never being seriously bullied and/or seriously dealing with the prospect of violence,then sure. If that’s you,your time probably is better off invested in something else.

      But if that isn’t you,if you’re someone who for some inexplicable reason almost always seem to attract bullies like fireflies to a lightbulb wherever you go,then investing serious time in pumping iron,MMA lessons,accomplishing some physical conquests,then socializing in a niche you care for can put you on the path to transforming you completely.

    14. One time I asked one of my supervisors why certain male supervisors hate me. She said, “you look tough.” Some guys will fuck with men they wouldn’t normally. Like throwing rocks at caged tigers. Similar to keyboard warriors. Like at work, in a living situation, or when their drunk at a bar. I’ve heard many stories about tough guys begrudgingly having to kick some ass. My dad being the prime example.

    15. This is a very valid observation. Insecure men in a position of hierarchy often try to get rid of anybody who could be threat to them. There is also the saying “A players hire A players, B players hire C players” and I have not seen evidence of the contrary yet. B players cannot normally identify A players, and A players would not want to work for them anyway. When I interview for a job, it sometimes happens that I talk to a hiring manager I could never accept as a boss, so taking such an offer would be a career-limiting move.

    16. My dad said that he hated fighting. He was just damn good at it. He didn’t start them……but he sure finished them. When driving to an LA Dodgers baseball game my uncle told me, “you’re dad was a baaaad boy. If a fight was on the horizon he would get a smirk on his face.” Like they were fucking with the wrong bull. His dad was a naval officer in WWII who saw major action.

      I’ve inherited the gene but I DO NOT fight any more. Not worth the consequences.

    17. https://theredarchive.com/blog/Good-Looking-Loser/what-you-high-school-kids-need-to-know-advice-if.35148

      ______
      You need to forget about “picking up” girls for right now. Especially with this “Screening” thing.

      Picking up girls IS NOT FOR HIGH SCHOOL.

      This “cold approach” stuff is meant for environments where there are NO SOCIAL CONSEQUENCES if something goes poorly.

      High school is one big social consequence since everybody knows everybody and gossip is everyone’s favorite subject.
      ….
      The only situations where “approaching” might be appropriate for 18 year old is on Spring Break, Beach/Senior Week or on girls from OTHER SCHOOLS.
      _________

      Looks like one of GLL’s old articles confirms exactly what I say here. That last part about dating girls from other schools is something my dad actually did (or so he claims, I’ve got no reason to disbelieve him) in his youth. I believe he claims he was able to have like 2-3 girlfriends from different schools who were completely oblivious (or were they?) that this was going on. This was before the age of the internet though. Probably a lot riskier to try to pull in this day and age of social media.

      A well-designed homeschooling program should bypass all this crap however. Misinformed normies (“adults” who conveniently choose to forget what its like to have been children) think school is necessary for social development, when in reality, much of the habits and mentality learned here is not applicable or even detrimental for success past this stage of your life.

    1. Homelessness is everywhere here. I remember parking on the outskirts of downtown (because the price of parking is insane) and walking through the residential area, then the metropolitan area, then the bay. When you walk through skid row you can’t ignore the homeless. You can smell the yurin.

      Once you get to the bay you see enormous flamboyant yachts. It’s becoming impossible to ignore the problems of the US.

    1. I’ve never fucked a street hooker. In TJ it’s surprisingly well regulated. They’re even unionized. Street whores in TJ used to only cost 20 bucks, but I never did it.

      Anyway, Mexico sucks. I’ve been robbed by the cops down there. They can frisk you for no reason. Your not in Kansas anymore. I don’t know how many years it’s been since I’ve gone.

    2. Oh, and it’s best to pay for parking on this side of the border, then take a cab. If you think it’s easy for a white boy to get past customs you got another thing coming. Most of those guys are Filipino and they love to give me a hard time.

      Anyway, as bad as it is here it will always be better than Mexico.

  6. I think I need to add some clarification. As I matured I actually found it easier to date, and have relationships with, much younger women than those close to my own age: 8, 14, 16, 21, 27 years younger. It’s true that I haven’t done this since 2002, but the young women I have worked with, and interacted with, since then have behaved so friendly towards me, sometimes inappropriately so, that I don’t believe they were repulsed by me.
    Some caveats: I’m not talking about clubs or social media, which I have heard are a cesspool of toxic behaviour and beliefs, but interactions in the real world. Additionally I am somewhat better looking, and younger looking, then other men my age. Lastly I am relaxed and comfortable talking to young women because I’m not trying to “get” them.

    Reply

    1. It’s a feedback loop. If you’ve had success before and women were nice to you, then you don’t need them, and in turn they are nice to you.

      If you grew up with an experience of girls not giving you a chance and all chasing the chads instead, you’re going to have a vibe that tells them to stay away.

      I just noticed you admitted something similar at end of comment. But yes, younger women being nice to you isn’t evidence that things haven’t changed. you lucked out and got into the positive feedback loop before things changed.

  7. You are ignoring my original point. I’m not in the top 1% or even 10% of men for looks, income or self-confidence; yet I did okay. I will admit that the modern encouragement of women to be narcissistic and immoral isn’t helping younger men but there has to be better solutions than hiding or simping. I actually did “hide” for several years after high school, and that wasn’t helpful. I believe a better answer is self-improvement and setting boundaries with women.

    Reply

    1. No, you’re ignoring our points, and over simplifying.

      First of all, you’re conflating people here with the blackpill. Like literally nobody on here says “you can only do well if you’re in the top 1%, otherwise doomed”. Quit fucking making shit up. Like stop it. Fucking stop it.

      With that said, things are a bit more nuanced.

      The thing is, that a guy’s experiences with women are heavily impacted by his feedback loop. If he lucked out and started a positive feedback loop in high-school, he will do well.

      Here’s why more specifically: Guys who expect to be treated well, get treated well by women. You don’t need to be a top 1% guy to be treated well. Average guys get treated well if they have this vibe.

      A guy who feels like crap because he’s invisible to chicks, because they’re all only seeing chads on social media and tinder? He is 100x less likely to start that positive loop, and it just reinforces itself.

      This is because he has those “I’m invisible to chicks and nobody likes me” vibes and mannerisms, which causes him to get no positive feedback, which just reinforces the whole thing.

      Here’s where “the 1% thing” (a percentage which you made up) comes into play. With every next generation it is becoming more and more unlikely for the average guy to get that early positive feedback loop started. In your generation chicks gave young awkward guys positive feedback, even if the guy was akward and still didn’t have that vibe. Now chicks have algorithm brain and don’t even give such guys attention or notice, so it never starts.

      You come from e generation where it was 100x more likely to get on that positive loop without being a top-tier guy.

      “But but, chicks treat me well even today!”

      NO SHIT SHERLOCK – you’re already on that loop. The point is if you were born 20 years later, you’d be 100x less likely to have begun that positive loop. Once started, it’s started. You lucked out.

    3. You should read my recent comment,a guy in the workplace got reprimanded for giving a non-sexual compliment just for the sin of existing as an unattractive man.

      Good luck getting on that positive feedback loop as a late adult in the age of MeToo.

    4. “But wouldn’t a man born twenty or forty years later who realizes this be able to get on that positive loop?”

      Why didn’t anyone think of that. Such genius advice. Please pat yourself on the back.

      No you can’t erase a decade of ingrained mannerisms and identity by just realizing it would have been different had you lucked out earlier in life.

      You do realize that identity shifting takes like years and years of super expensive therapy. But I guess none of these people heard that just Steven c needs to tell them to realize things would have been better had they had a better childhood and BOOOM instantly their entire identity gets rewritten.

      Thanks Steven c. You deserve a Nobel prize (facepalm).

      I think we should put out a banner ad, it will make us billionaires. The ad will feature Steve c and say “Therapists hate this one secret trick. Learn how a magic sentence replaces 20 years of expensive therapy, click here now”.

    5. Sarcasm and insults do not constitute a good faith dialogue. To reiterate, I did not luck out; I made a conscious decision to change my path which was trending in the wrong direction, because I was unhappy with my life after a decade of being alone. And I did not do it with super-expensive therapy which, from what I have heard, would have messed me up more. Simply getting useful advice from other men might be all that’s needed, instead of being told that it’s hopeless and men should just give up. Previously you labelled me a “black piller” which couldn’t be more erroneous. If anyone is giving “black pill” advice, it’s yourself.

    6. And if you can’t afford the super expensive therapy? You might have to expect DOUBLE that recovery time (IF you’re lucky enough to eventually end up in some halfway supportive environment for it.),IF you recover at all. Some never do.

      “An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure” is a cliche,but it really is true IRL. Its a good reason to despise mainstream societal programming.

      That reminds me of a very old link I shared on this blog long ago,here’s the archive of it:

      https://web.archive.org/web/20210914062515/https://boydoesntmeetgirl.wordpress.com/2020/07/26/the-homeless-lady-killer/

      I think I recall a comment of yours from the past where you tried to coach Omega Virgin Revolt out of his celibacy,and it just couldn’t be done because of his unfortunate history. He was one of the few friends you couldn’t help resolve the issue.

    7. Steven C could have helped him though. All he needed to hear was to change his mindset, and boom instantly he would have adopted the mannerisms and belief systems of a guy with a positive history, no bullying, and chicks showing him interest.

      I really think we’re on the cusp of something revolutionary here. If we can package Steven’s hack we could be trillionaires in no time. Worth thinking about.

    8. On a serious note, this is one place where I agree with dating coaches and people selling game and such.

      They often talk about how society brainwashes you into not giving yourself permission to act like a guy who gets laid, is deserving of sexual attention etc.

      Heck the entire economy would collapse if it wasn’t for the super hard working geeks that become workaholics and innovate at the hope that this is their path to getting female attention, finally.

      In theory they could just work out and change their attitude to that of a guy who gets laid a lot and give themselves permission to act as-if they had that positive feedback loop.

      However that would implode the economy, which is why there is so much brainwashing from society to not feel worthy of pussy until you’ve contributed enough to society.

    9. Roissy made a very similar sentiment a long time ago. That if the geeks had found a way to get laid about as well as the jocks,they might have ended up becoming too mellow to pursue the scientific/technological innovations and discoveries that progress our society.

      _____
      However that would implode the economy, which is why there is so much brainwashing from society to not feel worthy of pussy until you’ve contributed enough to society.
      _____

      What I didn’t realize however is that society does this on purpose. It makes sense now that you say it. Makes you wonder again what kind of impact sexbots and VR porn is going to have on society.

      Speaking of Roissy,not everything he writes is bull. I think there’s something to be said about the point he made that women get wet over…Dark Triad traits in men. Its even part of Hoe_Math’s fundamental chart:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b22vEucJLIY

      Of course,where “Game” gets it wrong is the assumption that displaying/faking such traits gets you short-term mating attraction. But that’s a subject that’s long been settled.

      This type of knowledge probably falls under “Fluff” though. Its true,but its filler that’s unlikely to be much help in practice,and will probably cause information overload if you delve too deep into the stuff without getting a fair bit of real life experiences under your belt first. like the books on female sexuality that you’ve talked about in the past.

      https://heartiste.org/2013/04/08/five-minutes-of-alpha-fifty-years-of-pining/

      The subject is interesting (and I know this is a real thing),though you’d have to bear Roissy’s overly flowerish language.

    10. I see a comment appeared by our Nobel prize winner.

      Steve… Yes you did luck out. You were dating before the internet existed. You played on easy mode.

      Nobody on here is saying that it’s hopeless. Just that retarded advice coming from privilege makes things worse and prolongs the issue.

      You’re doing the equivalent of chicks saying “just be yourself and magically dates will fall into your lap”, which just gets the receiver to waste years of his life, and he might end up a blackpiller.

      Your type of advice creates blackpillers. When guys follow it and years and years pass without these magical dates dropping in their lap, they conclude that it must be all looks.

    11. You’re infuriating! You are ignoring everything I said and creating a fantasy life for me that I never lived.

      I spent most of my life alone and dateless, because no-one ever gave me meaningful and truthful advice about dating and relationships.

      I rarely dated, and my relationships didn’t last long because of my lack of knowledge. I had to painfully and slowly learn what to do and not to do over decades, it didn’t seem like easy mode to me.

      At least now it’s possible for men to more easily share stories about their experiences with women, because of the internet. The problem with modern women is not so much the internet as it is social media, it exacerbates the worst in both genders.

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