Article Requests · Men vs Women · Relationships

Cheating from a Male and Female Perspective

I received the following article request:

The topic is “why women and men cheat,” and who’s more likely to be loyal overall. I’m familiar that women will cheat on their beta male providers, but are there other reasons as well. Are virtuous women prone to cheating? If its not to much to ask, what do you consider cheating?

The request message already provided an outline for my article, so I will simply stick to it. First, let us look at why women cheat. I think cheating, when done by women, is completely misunderstood, and also misrepresented by mainstream media. For evolutionary reasons, women gain very little by randomly banging another dude. There is of course the possibility that she gets knocked up by Chad during a one-night stand and have her beta-provider foot the bill of child-rearing. Yet, I think much more common is the following scenario: she is currently in a relationship with the best guy she was able to lock down. However, due to not having had kids herself yet, as well as incessant psychological manipulation via mainstream media, she is not fully committed to her partner and is on a constant look-out for a better provider. Having sex is the only way she knows to get a guy to commit, so she keeps flirting with men she finds attractive. If she manages to make the guy stick around, she will leave her current partner. However, if the new guy is not going to knock her up quickly, this cycle will repeat itself eventually, and potentially until she hits the wall.

I am sure some of you have been in a relationship with a girl who suddenly told you that she wants to end it, without any previous indication at all that she was on the way out. Normally, this means that she has been “dating” other guys behind your back, fucked a few, and now found one who seems both loyal and, overall, a better option than you. The new guy may sometimes not know that he has gotten himself a new girlfriend, keep fucking her for a week or two, and dump her. This is when your ex-girlfriend will show up again, sometimes pretending that nothing at all has changed. She’ll probably tell you a bullshit story about why she broke up with you, too.

There are other reasons for why women cheat, however. A big one is that she is simply leeching off you and has no serious interest in you. She just pretends that you are her boyfriend because you have a nice apartment and shower her with gifts whereas she keeps partying and fucking around. As she does not feel an emotional attachment, she does not even view this as cheating whereas the male in the picture undoubtedly would. Then, there are bipolar women who fuck guys on a whim. Some of them may genuinely regret their actions afterwards but in the heat of the moment they just cannot resist. They need that new dick! Needless to say, you would be insane to be in a serious relationship with such a woman. You may also find women who fuck other guys in order to hurt you. They fuck a random dude just to rub it in your face. This happens when she wants to break up with you but is too conflict-avoidant to do so, and dislikes just ghosting you. Also, ghosting is more difficult if she is living with you, so this is not necessarily such an irrational strategy.

There are also women who need to create extreme drama. They deliberately piss you off, hoping for great make-up sex. Unfortunately, she needs a bigger and bigger thrill, so at some point merely flirting with another guy will no longer do it. Instead, she fucks another guy, just to see what will happen. Maybe her boyfriend will beat up the other dude, and maybe the opposite happens, and she ends up with a new, exciting boyfriend. Of course, there are also cases like that pornstar who ended up needing restorative cosmetic surgery after banging another guy.

With men the picture is much different. I think most guys do not cheat, simply because the opportunities are not there. They have to actively approach women whereas a woman only has to follow a guy’s lead. Statistics telling you that the numbers are roughly equal most certainly conflate cheating in highly disingenuous ways so that a woman taking dick from a co-worker and the man thinking of a hot chick in a movie he recently watched both constitute cheating. Men are normally happy with what they have. By and large, they do not break up a relationship, don’t file for divorce, and don’t look for a new girlfriend while they are in a relationship. Women destroy relationships instead, for the most part.

The last paragraph also answers who is more loyal. It is men. Also, when a man “cheats” he may only look for a quick release and bang a hooker, which does not jeopardize the relationship in any way. In fact, there are many cultures where it is completely acceptable that even married men bang hookers on the side every once in a while whereas in the West it is supposed to be a huge moral issue if a married and productive member of society gets a blowjob for 20 bucks from a Latina. It is laughable to equate this with women wrecking their family and psychologically harming their children for life.

I do not want to claim that women are generally less loyal than men, however. Probably, we need to distinguish between young and old women as well as mothers and childless ones. Unlike what porn may have thought you, mothers with young children are the least likely to engage in extra marital affairs, probably followed by older women who are simply no longer sexually attractive. With men, you can arguably plot the propensity of wanting to fuck side chicks with a line that goes down as they age, simply because their testosterone levels decline. Also, holding down a job is time-consuming, so I cannot even imagine the average wage earner being overly interested in spending too much time on getting another chick. When would this be supposed to happen anyway if he works 50 hours a week and has a live-in girlfriend?

The question about whether virtuous women are prone to cheating I do not quite understand as being virtuous would imply that they are a lot less inclined to do so. Perhaps the question is about sluts who turned themselves into “born-again virgins” who make great but clownish efforts to appear virtuous. They may think that the past is in the past, but the moment Chad comes around and offers some quick dick, they’ll eagerly gobble it down, presumably for old time’s sake. Genuinely religious and virtuous women are probably the least likely to cheat. You would not even find them in clubs or on sugaring websites.

Lastly, there is some leeway in defining cheating. I would say that any kind of sexual activity, including sensual touching constitutes cheating. I think we can all easily agree to that. However, I would also say that indiscretions that enable cheating should be judged just as harshly, warranting that you dump her. Here I am referring to seemingly innocent activities as her “meeting a guy for coffee” or “socializing with a male coworker”, even if she really only had coffee. Also, if your chick ever tells you that she “was only talking to that guy” in a club, you need to get rid of her. The first offense is that she was in a club, the second that she is talking to dudes, and the third that she is lying about it because she likely got railed. Lying, cheating whores tell the most ridiculous stories, such as that they slept at some guy’s place “because it was convenient’, and of course nothing happened. Never mind the dried cum on her thighs.

Some women accuse men of “emotional cheating”, which is I alluded to earlier when I mentioned the guy thinking of a hot actress. Here, the claim is that merely thinking about another woman is cheating, even if it is not even in the realm of possibility that you could have any interaction with her. I once dated a girl who gave me crap in the morning because she dreamt that I was doing something with another girl. To her, this dream was apparently real. The same girl did not want me to watch movies with blonde women, presumably she was blonde herself. “Emotional cheating” is nonsense as you are not going to end a relationship just so that you could watch Scarlet Johansson in her earlier movies every night for the rest of your life, and neither would you spend a meaningful amount of time and money on that.

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3 thoughts on “Cheating from a Male and Female Perspective

  1. Aaron,
    “…if the new guy is not going to knock her up quickly, this cycle will repeat itself eventually.”
    1. Wouldn’t it be much easier for the woman just to stop taking the pill and trap the guy instead of jumping from cock to cock?

    “…she does not feel an emotional attachment, she does not even view this as cheating.”
    2. Is this due to her pair-bonding being already being destroyed before she even established this relationship, thus, once a cheater always a cheater?

    “…mothers with young children are the least likely to engage in extra marital affairs.”
    3. Perhaps I may have an observation bias, but I seen quite a few sex workers bang guys over and over while having kids.

    “There are also women who need to create extreme drama.”
    4. Are these the types of scenarios where “older” women have been loyal for so many years in their relationship that the sex has waned down and now need some kind of excitement use some kind of pretext excuse like mid-life crisis?

    5. I’ve often come across women who have admitted to cheating in the past with past lovers for wherever reason and using any pretext excuse. Are they trying to seek sympathy here, or are they merely dropping subliminal hints that they will cheat with their new partner?

    6. Are attractive women more likely to cheat than average girls due to hypergamy?

    7. If a woman grows up in a dysfunctional home where either parent was cheating, wouldn’t they view this as normal, and thus, cheat in any of their relationships?

    1. 1) Yes, that seems to be the case, by and large. Women do not do themselves any favors by spending 20 years on the cock carousel. In contrast, young mothers are the happiest. They are also better equipped for taking care of children than a woman who just hit the wall.

      2) This is a good point. Women who fully objectify you arguably are no longer able to pair-bond. However, there is still a difference between them wanting to make it work, and ultimately failing, and deliberately only extracting resources.

      3) I think sex workers are an outlier here. What I had in mind where women who are fully devoted to their children.

      4) This has little to do with age. However, there is also a psychological campaign being waged at older, married women, telling them that they need to “catch up” on all the fun their unmarried girlfriends were having. Also, sex is no longer that important once a woman has had kids. They have a lower sex drive than men anyway, and with their kids around, they may be too preoccupied. By the way, I think that sex as a procreational activity for women is a fairly recent phenomenon. The potential consequences used to be so high that women normally did not even consider it.

      5) This could be part of the strategy of “opening up”, as a calculated move to create an emotional bond but I am not sure how well this works. One girl told me that she had an abortion a few years prior, and I found this deeply off-putting, for instance, but I can certainly see that other men believe that a woman revealing this about herself means that she trusts them. Also, I do not think that most women enter a new relationship with the intention of cheating on you, but you may get a deviant reaction if she does cheat and you dump her. She may then try to guilt-trip you because you knew that she had cheated on guys in the past.

      6) I am not sure that this is the case. Oftentimes, it is the average to below-average woman who fucks guys for validation.

      7) This is correct. Very few are able to break out of the patterns they have observed at home. It is essentially an example of an intergenerational curse.

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