Yarara recently left an interesting comment, which is worth turning into a separate article. He wrote about how the female therapist of one of the girls he is banging encourages her to sleep around behind other’s backs:
One of my latest lovers is a 22yo who recently broke up with a LTR (she got dumped, actually). She does therapy, she sees her psychologist (female psychologist, I will point out) once a week. Due to some reasons I will not go into, our relationship carries some pitfalls, ie it would be more prudent if it were not be happening.
Her psychologist told her to carry on anyway, and encouraged her to explore her sexuality more with me (she has a VERY low partner count, including LTRS).
At the same time, at her workplace, a guy that could most aptly be described as her supervisor was hitting on her. I suspected she would finally sleep with him, which she eventually did.
But what I found remarkable was, that when she told her psychologist she had slept with her supervisor, her psychologyst told her to go ahead with both affairs, and specifically told her that he and I need not know about each other. So basically she should fuck both of us behind our backs.
She knows I dont care much, and told me anyway. Im OK with it (for what it s worth, she only had an ONS with him, while I bang her twice a week). But I could not help but notice… what kind of advice are therapists – and specifically female therapists – giving young confused girls these days?
I have heard similar stories throughout the years. In fact, I can’t recall anybody ever telling me that the therapist of his girlfriend did not tell her to fuck multiple dudes or break up the current relationship. In this regard, I know of several guys who got dumped by their girlfriend because their therapist encouraged them to do so, often with a justification along the lines of her being “young” and “needing to see what’s out there” or her “deserving someone better”. It’s comical when the women in question are in their early 30s and the guy just banged her because it was convenient. One chick I met in London told me that according to her therapist, she’ll always be able to find a man, and this caused her to dump her long-term boyfriend in order to get involved with guys who were not seriously interested in her.
There is also the aspect that some therapists seem to want to live vicariously through their patients, encouraging them to do all kinds of crazy things. A male acquaintance, for instance, told me that his therapist suggested, at various points, he’d “earnestly explore drugs”, do a sabbatical or just quit his job without having another one lined up. What also seems to come up often is the recommendation to cut off contact with one’s family.
By and large, I think that psychologists are a rotten lot. Sure, there may be a few good ones out there, but overall, they probably do more harm than good. In this regard, I can’t help but point out that the more troubled the patient, the bigger then need for a therapist. Consequently, there is a perverse incentive for them to mess up their patients so that they keep coming back for more. This reminds me of the perverse incentives of the medical industry in general.
If you think you need a therapist, I would recommend you make it very clear that you are only going to pay for a limited number of sessions, five or ten. Five sessions can be more than enough, and if you think you got your money’s worth, you stop going. A few years ago I went to a psychologist to get a second opinion from someone who is not involved in my life. First, it was a bit of a challenge to find an older, male psychologist who does not come across like a total faggot. Once I found one, I clearly laid out what the issue was, we started working on it. As I deliberately looked for someone with a CBT background, it was also very practical.
After three or four sessions, I had gotten all the input I needed to sort out my real-life issue, so I told him that I got what I wanted and appreciate the input, but that I won’t return for the remaining sessions (he still got paid). He then went into what seemed like a well-oiled routine where he invited me to use “our remaining time” to explore other aspects of my life, and so on. You know, you’re never done working on yourself, and so on.
You will also notice that you won’t ever find a therapist who tells you that he won’t be able to help you. This may perhaps sound surprising to some, but with my own consultation sessions, I have occasionally not taken on clients because I thought they were not ready yet. Examples are people who get very defensive when you ask a few probing questions or if they are not in a place where they would benefit much from my input, such as a fairly obese guy who wanted me to work on his “game”, but I told him that he needs to slim down somewhat first. Good luck finding a therapist who is similarly concerned about his patients.
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