Recently, one of my clients asked me what the one thing is that he work on to get better at pulling women. For context, this guy is maxed out: great job, swanky apartment in a great location, in excellent physical shape, and he still has plenty of good years left. He does get laid a lot already, so what could he do to get laid even more? I already gave you the answer in the title because I don’t write click-bait articles, but there is a bit more to it.
In particular with online dating becoming much more popular in the last few years, dating options for women have exploded, which led to phenomena such as most guys having a harder time getting women because today’s woman rather holds out for Chad, even for one night, than some regular dude she considers to be below her. Women may always have thought that 80% of men were below average, but before women had become addicted to smart phones, the options were not really there. Today, Chad is seemingly in reach for every woman.
Dating, in particular online dating, is moving a lot faster than it used to. If you still wait two days to reach out to a woman you got the phone number of, or think that you can play “hard to get” and wait a day between messages in dating apps, you may need to reconsider your approach. While you sit around, twiddling your thumbs, she has gotten matched with thirty other guys. You can no longer afford to drag your feet. It does not make you look “mysterious”. This may have worked when women did not have easy access to large numbers of men. Today, you need to move quickly.
Put yourself in the position of some random woman who wants to get laid. She’s ovulating, thus she’s horny and looks for some guy to fuck online. She’s picky, so she goes through 200 profiles in five minutes, selecting five dudes. They all made the cut, and because women are more selective than men, chances are high that she would sleep with any of them. This can mean that whoever is the fastest to respond and set up a date will get to have sex with her. You may think that this is bizarre, but this is by no means uncommon. It’s the same in night clubs: the first guy who looks good enough for her and makes a move gets laid.
Consequently. the best way to maximize your chances of success is, after you have taken care of your foundations, to have enough spare time to meet women. I think that flexibility beats raw numbers of hours. For instance, if you can meet up with women during lunch or in the afternoon, you’ll have many more opportunities than Joe Doe who has to warm his chair in the office until 6 p.m. With a remote gig or an employer that grants you flexible working hours, you can get your rocks off during the day, and put in the remaining hours of your workday when it suits you.
There are many ways to find creative arrangements. I know of guys who work four ten-hour days a week instead of five eight-hour days. Plenty of employers also have options for flextime, but they are often quite restrictive. Yet, if you are a high performer, you can maybe negotiate that you occasionally leave in the early afternoon to, er, run some errands and then put in a few hours in the evening. Of course, the best arrangement is a work-from-home gig with an employer who does not micro-manage you. Some want you to be available at all times on some “enterprise communication” platform like Yammer. (It’s by Microsoft, so you know it’s crap.) Others are much more laid-back. In any case, you can probably find a way to get a more flexible work arrangement. Then it’s up to you to convert those extra hours into some extra sexual encounters. Once you have the flexibility, you can turn it into a very powerful advantage on the dating market.
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6 thoughts on “Once You’ve Maxed Out Your Foundations, Time is Your Limiting Factor”
Hey Aaron, thanks for writing this post. It basically confirmed what I’ve been feeling the past year or so. “Mysterious” no longer works to a degree in relation to response time. Sometimes it seems like half of time success is based on being in the right place at the right time, the other half is based on skill.
Well, in the end, isn’t time the only thing and the most valuable possession that we really own?
Depends on the quality.
Just yesterday I was talking about the value of time with people at work. I mentioned a scene from Gone With the Wind where there was a plaque on one of the plantations that read “Do not squander time, as its the most precious thing we have.” Or something to that effect. Scarlett O’hara wasted TONS of time chasing the wrong man in that movie, and squandered the time she had with Rhett Butler. Until the end, which was too little, too late. I’m not going to tell any more of my anti-game stories, but I think you guys get the point.
I have the opposite problem – except for the couple days I spend home, I have very irregular schedules travel schedules.
I have lost count of the times I missed opportunities because I travel around so much. By the time I manage to match and chat up few someones in a new city, I might be gone again for weeks or months even.
Then again: The issue is time. Either as your friend, or as your foe. ?