Meeting Women · Mindset

If One Girl Has Had Sex With You, Many More Will

We have talked about the 80/20 split in male attractiveness on online dating platforms according to which women deem only 20% of men to be attractive, and 80% as unattractive. In contrast, when men rate women, the result is a bell curve with most women rated as around average, with outliers on both ends of the distribution. There is an interesting implication that does not seem to have much attention, though, which I will elaborate on in this post.

Men find a lot of women reasonably attractive, but women only find a relatively small percentage of men attractive. Also, the tastes of men differ quite a bit. Some guys may have a clear preference for tall brunettes or voluptuous blondes. Then there are “ass men”, “leg men”, and “boob men”. It seems no matter how a woman looks, there will be some guys who are into her. On the other hand, the type of man women find attractive is relatively uniform. It is the tall, dark, stranger. If you are tall and in shape, with a reasonably attractive face, you will likely do pretty well with women, at least when it comes to short-term mating success. The closer you are to the ideal of male beauty, which would have been Michelangelo’s David in decades past but nowadays is the mythical “Giga Chad”, the better you can (potentially) do with women.

When I get a new client, one of the very first questions I ask is about previous sexual experiences. If I hear that the guy has had sex, without paying for it, at least once, he probably must have done at least some things right. Perhaps surprisingly to some of you, a guy who has had sex with just one woman, even if it was just one single time, is likely to be a lot closer to having sex with ten, twenty, or however many women he wants, than a male virgin is to getting his dick wet for the very first time. If you have had some sexual experiences with women, you can improve and iterate. If you’re a virgin, on the other hand, everything is uncharted territory for you.

A hopeful message for guys who have enjoyed a little bit of success is thus that if you have gotten laid at least once you are not doing as poorly as you may think. In fact, to “get lucky” means that the occasional woman found them sufficiently attractive. Furthermore, because women are much more selective than men with regards to the other sex, those guys should know that they can get laid a lot more often. I have found that it is not uncommon that guys dramatically underestimate how much they have to offer. Some of them are even right at the brink of getting laid like crazy, or at the very least a lot more often. In essence, if you’ve gotten laid once, you can get laid again, and again, and again, and it will only get easier. On the other hand, the virgin is facing a steep cliff, not knowing how to proceed.

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31 thoughts on “If One Girl Has Had Sex With You, Many More Will

  1. But men can become less attractive to women with the passage of time. If a guy could get laid easily once in college, that doesn’t mean he will get laid just as easily when he’s 40 years old. Maybe he has lost hair, got wrinkles and is dressed in outdated fashion.

    So perhaps you should also ask clients “how much has your appearance changed since the last time you got laid?”

    1. Burt, it’s easy to pick any article, make and extreme argument, and claim that the author is wrong. What you describe is such an extreme outlier that it is simply not relevant. The typical client in the situation I describe is in his early to mid-twenties. If I were talking to a guy in his 50s who got laid once at a party in high school, I’d obviously tackle his case differently.

  2. But i’m 30 years old. My window is closed forever. Younger girls will not like me anyway. Older women, after 24, they just want a cuckold to use them and giving them worst sex ever.

    I was watching a youtube video from Mr. Locario, and i was thinking, i’m not ugly but….my face is not sexy, doesn’t make pussy wet, is a turn of, i don’t have Sex Appeal. Is very different being good looking (pretty) and having sex appeal.

    1. Stop telling this yourself. I only got started in my mid to late 20s and went wild for a few years. After my first marriage had gone downhill I returned to the hookup scene, in my mid-30s, and did similarly well as I had done a decade before. The quality of the women was absolutely comparable (still young and hot), but my style had changed a bit. In fact, with a lot less effort I got laid a lot more. This does not include Sleazy’s Gal, whom I’ve wooed like no woman before her.

    2. @AAron

      Do you discuss what you did differently the second time around in any of your books or blog posts?

    3. I think I briefly talked about it in some comments. In short, I did less club game, primarily due to time constraints. That being said, I have been aging quite well and pulled pretty effortlessly at student parties even in my mid-30s. Clubs had changed, though. There was a lot more security around due to rapefugees going wild, there were fewer women, heck, fewer clubs. I ran a less energetic game, so no more crazy dancefloor stuff and did a bit of online and day game as well.

    4. I would be interested in that as well. What exactly did you do differently during your second hookup-period, Aaron? I suppose you weren’t found in the club scene in your mid 30’s..

    5. So you did less club and more day and online…

      I guess that makes sense. Going to clubs requires a lot more energy. Also it’s usually late at night, so your sleep suffers.

      Another way to get laid more with less effort is to only go for green zone girls and not bother with the gray zone ones. Yes, you’ll give up some lays, but your efficiency will certainly improve. And once you get use to getting laid with minimal effort it’s hard to go back :))

    6. I’m in my mid-thirties and routinely hook up with hotties in the 18 – 22 age range. I’d say I actually have an easier time hooking up with girls in this age range than in, say, the 26 – 30 age range, simply because the younger girls are still at an age where they just want to hook up. They’re trying to avoid relationships and get a variety of sexual experiences with a variety of partners, and this includes partners of different age ranges.

      It doesn’t hurt that I’m in shape, have all my hair, and that I’m routinely mistaken for a guy 5 – 10 years younger, but I do believe that with none of those factors working for me, I could still do fine.

    7. @Don Giovanni

      “It doesn’t hurt that I’m in shape, have all my hair, and that I’m routinely mistaken for a guy 5 – 10 years younger, but I do believe that with none of those factors working for me, I could still do fine.”

      So you think you would still be doing fine if you were fat, bald, and 5 to 10 years older looking? Because that is effectively what you just said.

    8. @Pickernanny

      “Not in shape” doesn’t mean fat, and “not having all my hair” doesn’t mean bald, so that’s not effectively what I said.

      If I was skinny fat, had a receding hairline, and looked closer to my actual age, I still think I could do pretty well with these girls, provided I maximized my appearance in other ways (dressing well, for one.) But really, there’s no excuse for not being in shape, there are plenty of ways baldness can be worked with (chrome dome, hats, etc.), and there is plenty within your control that can make you look younger if you so choose.

  3. I think part of the issue is also that virgins develop all kind of mental problems which you can observe in incel forums.
    They basically develop strong anti game.
    If you are a male virgin (and it is bothering you) over 20 get an escort for fucks sake, literally

    1. Well then you know that sex is nothing special and you don’t need to be super insecure about it. Lot of these virgins literally see sex as this life changing magic force when in reality its nice but also very overrated

    2. It’s like eating a good steak
      It’s a nice feeling but not a life shattering magic voodoo experience
      But if you never aye a steak you might also overestimate it. Understand my argument now?

    3. I mean get what he’s saying. With experience you realize that sex is great, but not the be all end all that you might have imagined it to be.

      But of course this whole blog would be at least 50% pointless if most of us weren’t trying to get laid :))

    4. @Martin

      according to many studies sex is the most pleasurable experience possible… so I wouldn’t compare it with a steak.

      Sexual instinct is one of the strongest instincts.

    5. Obviously.
      But there is still a limit to how much pleasure you can experience.
      Let’s say the steak is 1 as a baseline
      Virgins think sex is 10000000 when in reality it is more like 5

    6. What if you’re hungry? Also, sex is not like sex. Good sex may be really enjoyable, but you can easily regret bad sex. Even worse are the negative consequences of sex, even if it was good. Have you ever had a crazy female stalker? This is not fun at all.

      Not to sound too much like a weirdo, but I find a sustained flow state more enjoyable than sex, and that has always been the case for me. Note that I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy sex. I’m just putting it in perspective.

  4. >>But of course this whole blog would be at least 50% pointless if most of us weren’t trying to get laid :))<<

    That is true.

    1. “according to many studies sex is the most pleasurable experience possible… so I wouldn’t compare it with a steak.
      Sexual instinct is one of the strongest instincts.”

      Yup, but that by itself doesn’t mean a thing. Don’t you know that worn out joke, about little Jimmy asking his father the other day: “Daddy, did you want to have a boy or a girl?” – “Me? Jimmy, I wanted to fuck.”

      So there you have it.

  5. Aaron,
    “…I have been aging quite well and pulled pretty effortlessly at student parties even in my mid-30s.”

    On a related note, for men who are older whether they be 30, 37, or 42 etc., how easy or difficult is it for men to pull one-night stands or have casual encounters with girls who are in the age range of 18-25 via cold approach in a party towns like Cancun, Mexico for Spring Break?

    Despite their age and their fading looks, you have mention that women do not “lust” after average men, and that “looks” trumps money. Furthermore, it has been emphasized maxing ones looks and potential. However, how are older (35+) men supposed to compete with their younger male counterparts who are in their mid to late 20s if they are good looking?

    For instance, Joe is average looking, 37 years old, well established in life and goes on vacation to Cancun Mexico Spring Break, and spends couple of hours at Coco Bongo Night Club. Joe meets Stacy. Stacy is 23, and is young and perky. However, Stacy sees a young Chad who is 25 years old. How does Joe tackle this issue since a lot of women might prefer to hook up with a younger guy who is closely related in their age range and is good looking? Joe can always approach women who are giving him warm responses, however, a lot of women who are in the age range of 18-25 are usually not interested in hooking up with guys like Joe. Joe might feel out of place at Coco Bongo since it’s a young crowd, and very few people in their mid to late 30s. It’s very well known that women who travel often become very slutty. Will this make a difference for Joe in the scenario above?

    What’s your experience? Thanks

    1. Up to a point, it depends on how well you have aged. In your late 20s to early 30s, you should not have much of a problem, but even if you have been aging gracefully, there comes a point at which you will look out of place.

      As a 35+ man who has very successfully competed with younger men for young women, I can tell you that it all depends on what you bring to the table. Let me ask you: are you “theory crafting” or are you affected by this issue? Frankly, any guy who got a lot of pussy in his 20s should get plenty of pussy in his 30s. My case confirms this, and so do friends of mine who got back into the field in their 30s after a marriage or long-term relationship tanked. Similarly, if you didn’t do well at all in your 20s, despite maximizing your looks, chances are that you will do just as poorly when you are older. Should you have been aging poorly, you’ll have a steep uphill battle ahead of yourself.

      For your theoretical problem, I may remind you that you are always competing against other guys, even when you’re young. Thankfully, there is more than one Stacy around.

    2. Aaron,
      “….there comes a point at which you will look out of place.”

      What is the “alternative” then if a guy choose to be single and keep hooking up casually with young girls (18-25) despite his aging looks? Obviously, men who are 35+ will feel weird about going to a club where the demographics are 18 and over. They are going to stick out like a sore thumb. There are not to many niches where there are a lot of young and perky women who are very slutty aside from the bars and clubs. Guys can always become photographers as a way to meet 18-25 and casually hook up, as well as going to strip clubs. Or do you find it that men who are 35+ and financially set have moved on from this phase of their lives of casually hooking up, and are now focus on having different goals in life?

    3. I did not “feel weird” about hitting on 20 year-olds in mid my 30s. Sure, if you’re 35, are overweight, and look ten years older than you are, you should not bother.

      How old are you? What level of success have you enjoyed with women? Quite frankly, I don’t get what you’re even aiming at. As a guy, your potential window for casual sex is 15 to 45, maybe 50, and afterwards. That a lot of years of a lot of fucking, if you so desire. What happens, though, is that guys who get laid a lot eventually care a lot less about hooking up. Available time is one aspect, of course. Also, you don’t necessarily meet the most stable women for casual hookups so there comes a point at which your cost/benefits analysis changes.

      If you want kids, you better start looking for a wife in your mid-30s. I’d say if you have your last child at 45, you’re pushing it already as you will be at retirement age by the time your youngest goes to college. On the other hand, if you don’t want kids, then do what you want, but keep in mind that there will be a point where you may have to pay for sex. Sure, in your 50s you could go to a party for the over 30 crowd, which tend to have a female surplus, but that is arguably not the kind of quality you want as the better looking and emotionally more stable ones will have gotten wifed up by then.

  6. I’m 36 yrs old; 6’1; 185 lbs; athletic – run marathons and weight train. I’m financially set. The girls I have gone out with are 7’s and 8’s, I’ve done ok for the most part. But I’ll definitely send you an email for a consultation.

  7. Aaron, I’m coming out of a 2 year relationship, found out my ex was constantly messaging a dude from Messenger, the messages were flirty in nature (I like you, blah blah).
    Anyways back to this topic, I’ve not been able to fuck 9s or 10s even when I was in my 20’s (I’m 35 now), am considerable tall at 6’1″ and somewhat fit although not that muscular. Would you say getting 9s or 10s comes down to just approaching them and having a shot? Or is there a psychological issue that prevents shooting yourself on the foot when trying to hook up with very desirable women?

    1. You could very well have some psychological issue, for instance telling yourself that you don’t deserve a woman of that caliber. That’s hard to tell from your brief description. If you want an honest assessment, consider booking a consultation session.

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