We have talked about the 80/20 split in male attractiveness on online dating platforms according to which women deem only 20% of men to be attractive, and 80% as unattractive. In contrast, when men rate women, the result is a bell curve with most women rated as around average, with outliers on both ends of the distribution. There is an interesting implication that does not seem to have much attention, though, which I will elaborate on in this post.
Men find a lot of women reasonably attractive, but women only find a relatively small percentage of men attractive. Also, the tastes of men differ quite a bit. Some guys may have a clear preference for tall brunettes or voluptuous blondes. Then there are “ass men”, “leg men”, and “boob men”. It seems no matter how a woman looks, there will be some guys who are into her. On the other hand, the type of man women find attractive is relatively uniform. It is the tall, dark, stranger. If you are tall and in shape, with a reasonably attractive face, you will likely do pretty well with women, at least when it comes to short-term mating success. The closer you are to the ideal of male beauty, which would have been Michelangelo’s David in decades past but nowadays is the mythical “Giga Chad”, the better you can (potentially) do with women.
When I get a new client, one of the very first questions I ask is about previous sexual experiences. If I hear that the guy has had sex, without paying for it, at least once, he probably must have done at least some things right. Perhaps surprisingly to some of you, a guy who has had sex with just one woman, even if it was just one single time, is likely to be a lot closer to having sex with ten, twenty, or however many women he wants, than a male virgin is to getting his dick wet for the very first time. If you have had some sexual experiences with women, you can improve and iterate. If you’re a virgin, on the other hand, everything is uncharted territory for you.
A hopeful message for guys who have enjoyed a little bit of success is thus that if you have gotten laid at least once you are not doing as poorly as you may think. In fact, to “get lucky” means that the occasional woman found them sufficiently attractive. Furthermore, because women are much more selective than men with regards to the other sex, those guys should know that they can get laid a lot more often. I have found that it is not uncommon that guys dramatically underestimate how much they have to offer. Some of them are even right at the brink of getting laid like crazy, or at the very least a lot more often. In essence, if you’ve gotten laid once, you can get laid again, and again, and again, and it will only get easier. On the other hand, the virgin is facing a steep cliff, not knowing how to proceed.
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