Over the summer I had some time to kill. When the announcement of a new Pokemon game for the Nintendo Switch was made, it struck me that I never played any games in that series. On a whim, I tried one out: Pokemon FireRed, which is a remake of the original Pokemon Red. In short, I found it quite relaxing to play and had, to my surprise, great fun with it. I wasn’t immediately hooked, but I kept playing. After around five to six hours of play time, though, the game managed to get its fangs into me.

The objective of the game, as most of you may know, given the immense popularity of this franchise, is to travel around and battle eight gym leaders with a team of “pocket monsters”. I stopped playing Pokemon FireRed some time after defeating the sixth gym leader as I got tired of random battle encounters in some mountain where you have to solve a simplistic puzzle. It was too much of a drag. From what I read, the upcoming remake of Pokemon Yellow for Nintendo Switch does not have random encounters, so I may buy it.

What I found quite surprising, when playing through the game, was that Pokemon FireRed is pretty “red pilled”. You navigate a world map in which you encounter male and female foes, as well as wild pokemon. The males and females come in various forms. The game makes fun of men when particularly tough foes are referred to as “ultra geeks”, I think. However, the women are depicted as dabblers if not dolts.

Below are three screenshots that are taken from conversations with a pair of female pokemon trainers you encounter. First, the game mocks women for their superficiality, which is evinced by the statement that she doesn’t know anything about pokemon. I chuckled when I read that one.

The writers of Pokemon FireRed are relentless, because this is followed up by that ditz stating that she picks pokemon based on their looks, revealing utter cluelessness as in this game, you need to pick a team of pokemon based on their abilities.

The game just keeps giving. In the same context, it makes further fun of those ditzes as one of them says she wonders whether male or female pokemon are stronger. Of course, in reality, men are stronger than women, just like in sexually dimorphic species the male tends to be stronger than the female. I have not obsessed too much over the technicalities of this game to explore whether there are differences between male and female pokemon. In any case, at best male and female pokemon are equally strong, but I would not be surprised if male ones get status boosts across the board. It would be absurd to assume that female pokemon were stronger.

What is even more astounding is that the game goes out of its way to ridicule women even more. The pacing of the game is as follows: you catch and train pokemon and once you feel ready, you battle a tougher opponent, a leader of a “pokemon gym”. Think of those battles as exams. They test whether you have mastered basic skills. It boils down to little more than exploiting the weaknesses of pokemon of your opponents and using skill-enhancing effects.

The game presents you with a pretty linear path as you visit one town after another, and battle one gym leader after another. On your journey, you encounter pokemon of different types. As you explore a forest, you encounter a lot of grass pokemon, for instance. This happens early in the game, so you will also learn that certain pokemon are very strong against grass types. Presumably for the purpose of comic relief, the game has you battle a group of female trainers that all use grass pokemon at a point in the game where you are very likely to have a pokemon in your team that can one-hit kill them. Here is what that gym leader has to say:

Yup, she only collects attractive pokemon. That tells you everything you need to know. Once more, the game mocks women for their superficiality. To quantify how ludicrous that gym is: I had one pokemon in my team that is very strong against grass-type pokemon. However, even the standard attack is quite powerful. I was able to defeat every single trainer in that gym without even having to consume any health items, just by picking my wonderful Spearow. I was so over-powered against grass-types, simply by how the game is structured, that I was able to one-hit every single pokemon. It was ridiculous.

Of course, the game world acknowledges that female only pokemon gyms do have a purpose:

Pokemon FireRed came out well over a decade ago. Since then, SJWs managed to infest Nintendo’s US translation team, which led to censoring various games. In a Fire Emblem game, women who exposed plenty of flesh in the Japanese version had to be covered up. Most egregiously, in Xenoblade Chronicles X, the bikini outfits disappeared, and the “boob slider” in the character creation mode was deactivated, forcing you to play with a bunch of flat-chested girls, and thus making this game dramatically less enjoyable, judging from screenshots.

Nintendo seems to have come to its senses in the meantime, though. Despite the wailing of feminists and their soy-boy enablers, Nintendo did not mess with the glorious busts of the women in the more recent Xenoblade Chronicles 2. I haven’t looked it up, but there is probably plenty of fan-made porn featuring Pyra out there. (Okay, okay, there is plenty of fan-made porn starring Pyra.) She is one of the biggest sex bombs in all of video game history, and I would not have expected a character like that to show up in a Nintendo game.

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