It may seem that in my recent guest post about comparing the 10 year costs of pay sex with the long-time costs of a standard German middle-class marriage and divorce, I had wanted to express the idea that dealing with real-life women in a sexual or relationship-oriented context was more or less unfeasible, and that I wanted to reinforce the notion that a man probably wouldn’t bother that much with women if pay sex was comparatively cheap and readily available, which happens to be the case in many European countries. On top of that many guys who are successful with women, i. e. men who understand how to have sex with women in an effective way and thus get to know far more women intimately than your average Joe ever will, tend to get a bit jaded with and disillusioned about girls. They tend to see female collective behavior with open eyes for what it really is. They understand it and at times can almost predict it, and are consequently more successful in avoiding its pitfalls. Thus they first get “red-pilled” and eventually “black-pilled”. I am familiar with this progression because it happened to me as well. But I wish to stress that I do not share the overall “black pill” sentiment. And in this post I’d like to explain my reasoning for this.

The sad consequence of the seemingly inevitable progress into a black pill mindset is the overall avoidance of bonding: Since you’ve gained a far better understanding of women, you’re now able to interact with them more freely. At the same time though you know how to avoid too close connections and disadvantageous entanglements with them, because (and the with the power of the secular state poised against you and in their favor) you will most likely get harmed by them in some way (i.e. divorce rape, false rape accusations, STDs, borderline personality disorder, violent domestic assault, creeping emasculation during a long term relationship etc.). It is very hard to guard yourself from such outcomes once the shit has hit the fan. Thus it appears to be better to not be fully invested in the interaction and always be able to eject if necessary (or to quote Robert de Niro’s classic line from the movie Heat: “… to walk out in 30 seconds flat, if you spot the heat around the corner”). In a sad way this apparently pragmatic attitude is the mirrored equivalent of typical poisonous radical feminist mindset.

But if you are a regular, warmhearted man with a natural longing for a good woman in your life, then this is no way to live, either. Because deep down in our heart we all know that the relationship between a man and woman is more than sex, more than just a pragmatic union to cope with everyday life, and much more than just a continuous sociopolitical power struggle. Yet, if we are honest to ourselves, our insightful experiences and observations with women in real life inevitably confirm our realistic, rationally grounded assessment and thus keep us imprisoned in a somewhat black-pilled worldview. The more we know and experience the status quo, the more we ever so slightly lose hope that things could be different as well. Now, to be frank about this: To live a fulfilled and meaningful life as a man doesn’t necessarily require a woman and/or offspring and a family. Not does it require the lack of it! To that end I’ve always been fascinated by the role models of St. Peter and St. Paul, the two chief apostles of Christ: After all, St. Peter was happily married, he had children and performed his historic mission beginning in Antioch that way. St. Paul on the other had always been a proverbial MGTOW man his entire life and openly talked and wrote about the advantages of not having a woman in your meaningful masculine life. So both paths are completely valid paths to a meaningful existence and none is better than the other. It’s simply a matter of choice.

The black-pill mindset turns out to be a closed self-reinforcing system, which one is free to adopt to settle in, at least to be safe from unnecessary harm. But consequently this will lead to a stale state of life. The seemingly indomitable power of logic and the apparent inevitability of this naturalistic world view leads to sterility and therefore ultimately to a state of living death. But here’s the kicker: The world and life itself are not inevitably logical and sterile and not dead at their core either! They are positively chaotic, often with an innate tendency of exploring many different possibilities. There are so many things we cannot know and predict, because our mind is limited after all. Thus locking ourselves up inside a rational prison of our own mind can feel measly comfortable, but in reality it is just stupid.

And the ultimate, overwhelming challenge for such a mental masculine prison is when you as a man happen to meet a woman whose very existence completely contradicts this system of suffocating sterility. And this is exactly what happened to me completely unexpectedly last year and it happened even twice: Once in August 2024 and now at the end of December of the year just past. I am not going to write about the circumstances of these encounters, but I can only say that they encompassed all levels in which a man and a woman can meet each other completely openly and directly without any sense of separation. It was beautiful but brutal at the same time, because I had to come to terms with the very fact that there was a real woman of flesh and blood standing in front of me, who was a living and breathing impossibility. A specimen that – according to the logical laws of this world and my experience – shouldn’t even exist at all! And this even happened to me twice, so at the end of this year I couldn’t even discard it as mere chance. So there does exist a category of women whose qualities can completely overturn the inevitability of previous and well-founded worldviews.

The depth and consequence of such experiences can be truly profound. They impact you as a lasting shock for your present worldview, because the impression gets only confirmed the further you get to know and experience such a woman and there is no catch, where there should be one after all. These extremely rare women represent a caliber of women with whom one could and would want to enter into a deep, stable relationship and with a clear conscience. In today’s societies such women are very rare and probably only exist in homeopathic doses anyway. And you don’t necessarily recognize their innate quality from the outside – so the shock is all the greater. And in comparison to other “hot” women such women are often prettier, more attractive, generally more intelligent, more relaxed, funnier and in general simply more grateful in contact (Sleazy has expounded eloquently about this elsewhere on his blog). Oh my God! This makes it all the more important to pursue such women competently and vigorously, if you meet them and they are worth it, and to honestly check whether you really should commit to this particular woman. In these two cases, this was not the case for me for very good reasons. But the mere empirical knowledge alone of the fact of the mere existence of such special women („I’ve seen, talked to them and touched them! They are not holograms, they are real!!“) is an extremely powerful, electrifying experience. And in observing myself I can clearly recognize how strongly it motivates me and changed the internal map of my world.

Us men can draw lasting, strong motivation for great deeds from many things. These are usually transcendental goals, entities that are far greater than our mere human existence. But then there is also motivation by tangible things right in front of us. As banal as it may sound, the pure motivation and explosive energy triggered by the actual and realistic prospect of a really good and suitable woman that you can actually handle (because you’ve developed your body, mind and soul through years of experience), and you can see all of this play out right there in front of you, is so irresistibly strong that it surprised even myself. Because, oh well, I had considered myself to be immune against such ridiculous sentiments. But I was wrong. Instead I do sense strong new motivation in life once again in improving and developing myself further. It feels like the boost of the next ignition stage of a space rocket, a tremendous boost of directed energy, which I hadn’t expected at all.

At the end of the day, we are only mere humans. There are forces in this world that we cannot control, but they do structure us and the world around us. We also cannot fully understand ourselves or the world around us. Nor can we rely on reason alone, because it is limited – just as limited as we are. And we are prone to act foolishly. Thus we are well advised to always be humble and therefore open to the possibility that things could really be radically and shockingly different from what we imagine them to be. And I would say that is a very positive and hopeful realization for the beginning of this new year.