I find it quite amazing how much society has changed in the last ten to fifteen years. Even five years ago a lot of guys were very keen on having a girlfriend, and being single was still seen as a sign that you were, at least to some extent, socially defective. Boomers may still think that but at this point, shaming men into entering a relationship has almost completely lost its power. Plenty of guys even tell you that they do not want to bother with a relationships, that they are “past that”, or sometimes even that they “have not found the right one yet”, which is an amusing flip of the script, considering that women used to say this to defend their many years of whoring around.
Still, some men still want to be in a relationship with a woman, and even though today’s men are much more attuned to the dangers women pose than their fathers may have been, and possibly they are even as based as our hardened grandfathers were, there are still plenty of early warning signs men often overlook. This applies to all kinds of relationships, but it is most important in potential long-term relationships because, by definition, you would move on very quickly from a one-night stand or a chick you just fuck for a few weeks. With long-term relationships, however, men often ignore warning signs and only in hindsight admit that they should have known better.
The Guiding Principle
Inexperienced men may simply be oblivious to early warning signs women readily display. Of course, nothing keeps more experienced men from noticing those warning signs and ignoring them nonetheless. In any case, the idea is that in the early stages of a relationship the woman puts on her very best performance. She wants to win you over and convince you that she is worthy of your commitment to her. This applies even when she earns her own money in some government make-work job. After all, women have a tendency to gradually or abruptly drop out of the workforce once they have secured a provider, so better do not expect that she is going to meaningfully contribute to the relationship when it comes to finances.
A woman may want to put on her best behavior. However, her acting will only go so far. Sometimes the mask slips, giving you a glimpse at her true personality. Ignore this at your own peril! Another aspect, and a much worse one, is that some women are not even aware that some of the behaviors they display are negative. The benefit here is that you will likely get multiple chances of observing such behavior. Similarly, such behaviors will get worse as time goes on as she will feel more secure in the relationship. Due to an increasing sense of entitlement, her behavioral tendencies will simply get magnified.
In the following, I walk you through a number of areas in which women often reveal their true nature. While it may seem that most or all of the examples below are only relevant if you are looking for a relationship, you can as well use them to save yourself some time if you are casually dating a woman and are not sure if you want to turn the budding or existing casual relationship into something more serious. Interestingly, or perhaps amusingly, a lot of women only have one routine they stick to when it comes to sexual relationships. I believe this is because to them it is all the same; in their view, all relationships are simply built on sex in the beginning. Even most one-night stand can turn into a long-term relationship if you want to because once you have had sex with them, they tend to want to keep you around. There are only rare exceptions of battle-hardened sluts who tell you that they are only interested in a one-night stand, and even those may chase you afterwards.
Note that I will not discuss very obvious warning signs such as alcoholism, smoking, habitual drug use, or having tattoos. A lot of men seem very happy if they find a woman who meets a very low baseline of not being a total basket case. It is quite easy to find out if she has a problem with drugs or alcohol. Quite often, she will invite you to do drugs or get drunk with her, for instance. Quite often, addicts do not associate any shame with their addiction. To them, drugs are just part of their lifestyle. In contrast, the subtler warning signs can be easily overlooked. Many men even try to rationalize them as they think they are dealing with a unicorn and do not want to shatter this illusion.
While I do not want to paint all women as money-grubbing whores, it is undeniable that women are looking for a provider at some point in their life. They want a guy who is able to survive on his own and who could finance a family, even if she is not quite ready yet to settle down. Also, if you look up statistics, you will find that most arguments in relationships are about money, and this is not really related to socio-economic status. If you have an entitled bitch of a girlfriend or wife, she will simply want “more”, regardless of how much money you have or make. Perhaps it is reassuring that this affects the multi-billionaire Managing Director at an investment bank as much as the real-life counterparts of the sitcom The Office.
Oftentimes, women do not talk about money outright. Instead, they are more concerned about what you can afford to buy and are willing to spend your money on. By doing so, those women reveal themselves to be much more pragmatic than a lot of men. The latter often idealize women and ignore cold hard realties such as the fact that a woman in her late 30s is not very likely to produce a large number of children. Women may thus sound out how much you spend on clothing by asking what brands you like or how often you go shopping. They may also have an interest in your car, apartment, and travel habits, and not only inquire about the status quo but about your willingness to upgrade your lifestyle. The most crass women will even tell you that you need to drive a bigger car if you want to date her. Some bitch told me once that “the very least is a nice used BMW”, which I was supposed to get to drive her around. Note that at that point I did not drive a car, so she asked if I had a driver’s license. Upon answering in the affirmative, I was confronted with rather surprising and bafflingly specific demands about me becoming a car owner again. I should probably add that I did not even know the surname of that woman and she probably did not even know my real name.
With apartments or houses, some women drop subtle or not so subtle hints that you need to upgrade your lifestyle. You may bring some chick home or a romp after a night out and afterwards, she may rather critically inspect your abode and give you suggestions on interior design. The insidious aspect is that women act as if they want to help you have a nicer place and will even try to guilt trip you that way if you call them out on their behavior. Your perfectly functional IKEA sofa is supposed to make way for one by Rolf Benz or some other brand you have likewise probably never heard of. Oh, and wouldn’t it be nice if you had fresh flowers at your place? If you come across a woman who has her eye on the ball, she will even insist that if she were to move in with you, you would need a bigger place in a better area and of a higher quality, which could easily triple or quadruple your rent if you went along with the suggestion.
Women normally do not suggest you go on expensive trips with them if you barely know them, but I was told by wealthy clients that they frequently get such suggestions from the women they meet. Such men play a different kind of game, though, so I am not sure how relevant those experiences are to the bottom 95 to 99% of guys out there. Still, I would say that if you are a multimillionaire and your chick suggests a weekend trip that may cost around $2,000, the expense may be moderate. You are a multimillionaire, after all. Yet, this sum is quite comparable to a woman insisting on eating at a more upscale restaurant. Presumably, the latter is worse because to a wage-earner, an expense of $200 for a dinner at a fancy restaurant hits the wallet far harder than $2,000 for a trip in the case of the multimillionaire.
A good test of any woman you date is to bring her to a regular cafe or a normal or somewhat more expensive restaurant. Tell her to order whatever she wants. Of course, to avoid her ordering three lobsters, you should not let her place the order herself but instead ask her what she would like to eat, as a minority of women is really so deranged that they think a dinner invitation means that they are free to order three starters, one main, dessert, and drinks, and barely eat any of it. Well-raised women take your cue, by the way. They either ask you what you would recommend or they order whatever you ordered. I have only encountered the latter among Asian women. Presumably, they want to demonstrate that they take your lead and that they cherish harmony. On a side note, women from that part of the world would probably judge you negatively if you tried impressing them by spending a lot of money on frivolities.
Of course, a woman who puts out quickly is not necessarily the best pick when looking for a serious relationship. Women know this as well, which is why they downplay their number of previous sexual partners. When looking for a provider, the biggest slut tells you that she is “not like those other girls” and may even let you wait whereas she let 250 other guys jizz in her within one to two hours of meeting them. Yet, a sexually experienced woman has a really hard time pretending to be a virgin. I am not even talking about the “thousand-cock stare” albeit some women indeed look as if they can live up to it.
The first giveaway that she is a slut is of course that she is putting out quickly. She drops her pretenses because she only knows of one way that gets a guy to commit, i.e. having sex with him. A lot of such women seem to be unable to understand why guys leave after they have busted their nut. Instead of reflecting on it, they quickly spread their legs for the next guy that comes around and meets her criteria. Such chicks tell you all about how well-raised and virginal they are, yet need only approximately 20 minutes to open the zipper of your pants and play with your dick under the table cloth while you are waiting for the meal to arrive. They have such poor impulse control that you can basically watch their resistance crumble as they talk to you.
Even if a crypto-slut, i.e. a woman who is a slut but pretends not to be, manages to trick you for a few days or even a week or two, as soon as you have sex with her, you will notice that she is incredibly experienced. Sex may even appear almost robotic with her as she has done it so many times, and with so many guys. She touches your dick so routinely that it startles you as she acts in such a secure was as if you have fucked her a hundred times already. This does not mean that you shouldn’t get your money’s or time’s worth, but you probably should not seriously consider her anything more than a pump-and-dump.
Any woman who talks about previous sex partners can be disregarded as well. She will tell you that her most recent guy did not treat her well, was rude, had a small dick, or was stingy. Guess what, the moment you are done with her, she will tell the next guy the same about you. She needs to paint the past in the most negative way possible in order to justify her constant slutting around so the most gentlemanly and well-hung guys turn into the opposite as she complains about him. For lulz, you can ask a woman who talks crap about her ex-boyfriends about what she saw in them.
Dressing provocatively is also a clear negative. Amusingly, standards are so skewed nowadays that you could be forgiven for believing that it is normally that chicks let their tits hang out or walk around in see-through yoga pants. This is not normal. Yet, any woman who thinks that this is normal shows how corrupted she is. She uses titillation and the promise of sex to get her way in life. In dating, the issue is that she does not just want to appeal to you but to every other man as well. Thus, if you have a chick show up dressed like a literal hooker, she does not necessarily do this to appeal to you. Instead, she wants to all men around her. After all, there could be an even better man than you out there and if she does not put her wares on display, he may not notice her. Such women mean trouble, and some may even actively create drama, for instance by flirting with another guy right in front of you, in the hopes of starting a physical altercation between the two of you. Again, for a quick pump-and-dump such women can be worth pursuing but if you want to have a serious relationship with them you should probably reconsider.
Attitude and Personality
For short-term relationships and one-night stands her personality is almost completely irrelevant. Assuming you find her attractive, you would probably look past personality defects, even comparatively serious ones, as you get an easy lay. That being said, some women have such nasty personalities that you may bolt because you just cannot stand her. When you hop into a taxi, you think that she is quite unpleasant to be around but that does not matter because you do not want to marry her, but some women manage to grate on your nerves so much that you just do not care about fucking her anymore, no matter how hot they are. Probably every guy with his fair share of experience has ditched a woman on the way to his or her place because the more women you have had sex with, the less willing you will be to deal with bullshit.
Any woman who makes derogatory remarks about you, herself, her parents, her friends, or anybody else essentially waves a big red flag in front of you. Remember that in the early stage of a relationship, even if you just met her, she should want to impress you and present herself in the best possible way. Yet, if she tells you how much of a slut her best friend is, or how much of a creep her boss is who, like obviously every other guy, wants to fuck her, then save yourself the headache. I find it quite amazing how women talk about their friends behind their back. There is probably a reason why women change their best friends every few months or so.
Fickleness is another big red flag. Of course, you should tolerate her being late for a few minutes. I think this is one of the things mothers tell their daughters as it supposedly makes the guy miss her more. Yet, if a chick shows up half an hour late or, worse, cancels on short notice, she clearly shows that she does not respect you. The more hoops she makes you jump through, the worse she is. Worse, the more hoops you willingly jump through, the bigger a simp you are.
Women who casually lie also mean trouble. Pay close attention to what she says. Habitual liars even lie about little things because they just do not care. The concept of truth means nothing to them. If you catch them and you really want to construct a good reason for dumping them, call them out on it. However, it is better to simply reevaluate her and relegate her to a mere pump-and-dump instead of anything more serious. Once I was dating a chick who talked a lot about not really having any money, yet had a wardrobe that was packed to the gills. She also did not really seem to want to reign in her spending. This is not necessarily uncommon, but still reason enough to not date such a woman seriously. Once, though, I noticed that she had a 200 Euro banknote in her phone case, which I found surprising. I suspect that this is money she made from fucking some dude and her explanation of where it came from was not at all convincing. Certainly, I never accidentally found a 200 Euro banknote when cleaning my apartment. Besides, considering the dust bunnies under her bed I do not think she spent a lot of time cleaning.
Trust your gut when it comes to liars. It will be difficult to catch her in a complete contradiction or present evidence that proves beyond any doubt that she is lying to you. Instead, she will come up with highly unlikely explanations and when cornered, she will just make up some more bullshit. Going back to women who fuck guys for money, with those a common aspect is poor impulse control. This means that if they do some casual whoring during the week in the middle of the month, they may want to spend the money right away. They also spend their monthly income or allowance quickly, so how come that there are sudden spikes of cash inflow during the month? One chick once tried to gaslight me about her new shoes, which she supposedly has had for a long time. Yet, due to poor impulse control she could not resit taking me back to her place where I noticed a very recently opened shoebox for those new shoes. It seems that such women pick up a lot of money while they are lying prostrate, double pun intended.
I do not want to write an essay on the dangers (and short-lived joys) of dating women with Cluster B personality disorders. Yet, it is relevant to point out two big warning signs: love bombing and oversharing. This is very common among those women and they do it to pull you into a different reality. In other words, they want to trick you into falling in love with her. After all, if you weren’t her soul mate, why would she share all those intimate stories with her, have sex with you so quickly, and want to be with you as much as possible?
A woman trying to suck you into her Cluster B vortex should best be avoided. If you are not sure whether she is genuinely crazy as opposed to really madly in love with you, you only need to slow her down. Tell her that you have to focus on your work for a day or two so you are not able to see her for a few days. A sane woman will have not problem with it. In contrast, a Cluster Bitch will consider this a grave insult as she cannot handle any rejection at all. She may transform in front of your very eyes, insulting or even physically assaulting you. Yes, hearing “no” is a rejection in her mind. In contrast, a sane woman will express understanding or possibly even ask if there is anything she can do for you.
Denial of Reality
A lot of women seem to support nonsensical ideologies such as man-made climate warming, feminism, transgenderism, veganism, vaxx-ism, socialism, or mass immigration. I do not want to discuss those, and many others, in any detail. Yet, if you encounter a woman who early on spouts out patent nonsense, you can rest assured that she will proselytize a lot more in time to come. There seems to be the phenomenon that the more women believe in those ideologies, the more they want to talk about it. Some even force the conversation in the direction of whatever mainstream-endorsed talking points her NPC firmware has been updated to.
In Sweden, women love talking about socialism as it “benefits everybody”. More than a few times have I heard that “everybody gets out of the system more than they pay in.” A few times I asked them to explain how this is supposed to work and to make it easier, suggested they start with a society that consists only of two people that pay into the system and both get more out of it than they put in. I got told that that I am not taking things seriously as “there is no society with just two people”. Of course, if you want to get laid with such ditzes, you better not challenge them on the harebrained ideologies they have fallen victim to. If you are looking for a girlfriend, though, I suggest you bail because the kind of woman who cannot keep from spouting utter bullshit that early on, sometimes within minutes of meeting you, will not suddenly become sane as you keep dating her. That being said, there is apparently the phenomenon that married women tend to lean more towards the right, but I am not sure how much of this is cause and how much is consequence, i.e. do right-leaning women get married more often or do women, in general, become more right-leaning after marriage?
The Question of Having Children
The question of having children, answered in the negative, can be understood as a sub-topic of feminism, but there is more to it. The biological purpose of men is to father children, and the biological purpose of women is to give birth to children. We were put on this earth to procreate. It is as simple as that. Thus, if a woman tells you early on that she does not want to have children at all, I would be very careful. This could mean that she completely denies biological realities as well as her biological purpose. However, it could also mean that she tells you what she thinks you want to hear and may even scheme to trick you into getting her pregnant in order to tie you down. This happens to a lot of men.
I think that it is important to discuss the question of having children if you want to date a woman seriously, but this discussion can probably wait a bit. There is no need to bring this up early on. Yet, in particular women in their early 30s, i.e. the prime age for baby rabies, will almost invariably do so. This also implies that you may not want to get involved with such an old woman to begin with. First you need to figure out if you want to have kids with her, and this is nothing you can do within a few hours. For those women, though, you are only a means to an end. She wants children and you are apparently available and good enough, so she will want kids with you.
The most bizarre case of women wanting kids is if they tell you to cum inside during a one-night stand. If she is younger, this is a case of poor impulse control. Alternatively, you could say that she simply embraces her biological purpose to the full. Of course, if she is older, she normally only wants to coldly trap you with a baby.
Selecting a woman for a serious relationship is not easy at all. Finding the mythical debt-free virgin who is barely 20 years old and does not have any tattoos is incredibly difficult. As there are not many of those around, you will have to make some kind of compromise. Still, you cannot afford to compromise on behavior. I have walked you through a lot of examples. They have in common that men may think nothing of them. Yet, they portend trouble ahead. The sexually experienced man will relegate women who exhibit subtle and not-so-subtle red flags to the status of a one-night stand or, at most, a short-term relationship but he will not consider them for a serious relationship. Doing otherwise has grave consequences. I have seen men getting destroyed by women and in most if not all such cases, the warning signs were obvious right from the start. If you spot them, pay attention instead of rationalizing them away.
8 thoughts on “Relationships: Early Warnings Signs in Women”
Unfortunately the demand for marriageable women far exceeds the supply, for men of any means. I think a big part of this stems from marriage being totally separated from family. Even beyond the goal of producing children, marriage used to be about brining two extended families together. Now it’s more of two atomized individuals partner shopping, like they are looking to buy a car, and settling down with them once they get an acceptable deal.
Great article Aaron. 2 of my cousins (they’re brothers) spring to mind. Both married. Both relatively successful. Both married to bitches. Simps.
The younger one married a woman that initially came off great to my mom. She memorized every single name of everyone she met in our family on the first day. This is NOT a social skill. It’s more indicative of Asperger’s.
By the time I met this woman she had already locked my cousin down. She dropped the friendly facade and even thought I had already met her before. She mistook me for my much shorter cousin.
At brunch that day (day after Christmas) I noticed a huge red flag. My cousin got up after he finished and she said, “can you like, not SMASH me?” At the time I didn’t know what she meant, but it sounded bitchy. Later I realized that she didn’t want to scoot in and allow him to pass.
His brother has a wife that has made it very clear she wants to fuck me.
What a world we live in.
I am an expat in a 1st world asian country where I live many years.
I don’t really know how to square this circle.
If they sleep with me on the first date, they do end up being terrible for long-term just like you say. I got multiple terrible experiences trying to make them long-term.
If they don’t sleep with me on the first date, I immediately consider that: 1) They are just not sexual beings enough, and they might never sleep with me. There are many virgins-till-marriage around, despite Asia’s stigma. Avg lifetime sex-partners-per girl where I live is one of the lowest in the world. 2) They aren’t attracted enough to me. They would have slept with a hotter guy on the 1st, but they let me wait for the prize. 3) They try to court me as a provider, or another friend-zoned friend to make them feel good. In all cases, I lose interest immediately and there won’t be a 2nd date.
In the past I’d try harder, but if sex didn’t happen on the 1st, it rarely happened at all. So I started to see it as a form of rejection.
Is it that one should have a loyal but sexually-available-only-for-kids-conception wife at home, while fucking sluts/prostitutes for sexual fulfilment outside the marriage? Can you even expect great sex-life with a girl that is suitable for long-term relationship/marriage?
“Of course, a woman who puts out quickly is not necessarily the best pick when looking for a serious relationship”.
1. Just because a woman puts out on the first date doesn’t mean she does it with every guy. I’ve seen some girls who would be considered relationship material (supposedly) put on quick while a slut makes a guy wait. So, would these women (virtuous ones) still be considered unfit for relationships as well if they put out quick?
“The first giveaway that she is a slut is of course that she is putting out quickly”.
2. What are some of the more subtle signs that a woman has a history of putting out quick? I’ve seen women put on a really good girl act, pretend they are virtuous while their friends (men and women) vouch for them and say she’s a good girl and isn’t like other girls. In fact, I’ve seen these women refrain from consuming alcohol, refusing to go to clubs just to win a guy over and later you learn that she was indeed a slut.
“Any woman who talks about previous sex partners can be disregarded as well”.
3. How would I know a woman is talking about sex just to mess with my head and see how I react and later admit that it was a joke versus a woman who needs to paint the past in a negative way? I remember that you said that its common for Cluster B to talk about their sexual past and they also do it to reel you in.
“…love bombing and oversharing. This is very common among those women and they do it to pull you into a different reality. In other words, they want to trick you into falling in love with her”.
4. What is this “different reality” you mention? Are they trying to reel you in into an intoxicated relationship with drama?
5. The whole “falling in love”, can you explain this a bit? I remember that you said that these women use sympathy to accelerate the relationship, but are they accelerating the relationship so they can acquire resources more easily and quickly? Or is there a whole different motive to it?
Regarding point Nr. 1: this is the conundrum. Ideally, the girl who will be good wife material to you will have virtually zero experience but will put out fairly quickly for you and ONLY you. Ideally. But it’d be such a luck. Right now, with my current [virgin] girlfriend I’ve only gotten titty action and very light fingering after about 6 (very inexpensive) dates. I guess I should be content with that.
1) I think sluts make men only wait in order to manipulate them. Also, it should be quite easy to discern if she puts out for everyone or just for you. Still, a less experienced woman will probably let you wait for a while because she has to get used to you. A slut who has sat on 150 dicks has no such issues.
2) Bang them, or pull your dick out and let them suck you. Sluts will not be able to pretend that they are inexperienced. Of course, this only works if the guy has been with quite a few girls, of various levels of experience, as otherwise he would lack the ability to determine whether he is dealing with a slut, based on how confident she is about taking cock.
3) I am not sure this is the right question to ask. The problem is that she is talking about sex with other guys. You cannot seriously consider such a woman for a relationship as she is either manipulative or a slut, or both.
4) They want to suck you into a make-believe world that has nothing to do with your regular life. Yesterday, you got up, had breakfast, went to work, etc., but today you have this sex kitten at home who deep-throats you, then gives you a massage, and afterwards creates fake intimacy by sharing intimate details, perhaps wholly make up ones, about her life. Some Cluster B women use indeed drama, i.e. they create situations for you to rescue them from, which starts small but can end up being quite dangerous, for instance, if she tells her ex-boyfriend to come over and pick up his things while you are at her place, and of course she did not give you an advance warning.
5) I think the motive it simply gaining maximum control over you. Love bombing is therefore just a tactic they use. Note that those women not necessarily want money. Time is also a very important resource for them, and so is the knowledge of having a man at their disposal to help them out with all kinds of things.
Attitude and Personality
“Any woman who makes derogatory remarks about you, herself, her parents, her friends, or anybody else essentially waves a big red flag in front of you”.
1. Would this also apply to men as well? Honestly, I have nothing positive to say about all the women I’ve met. Would this be a red flag as well if I were to speak in a negative way about the women despite being the truth?
“Sex may even appear almost robotic with her as she has done it so many times, and with so many guys”.
2. When you say “robotic” do you mean like they sit there like a “dead fish” while you do all the work
3. Is it plausible for a girl to gain enough sexual experience with one guy to be able to put on a good show for future sexual partners, or will she have to accumulate enough sexual partners to put on a good show for future sex partners?
1) Most breakups are initiated by women and guys who pump-and-dump are a small minority. Consequently, I would be less critical of the typical man who speaks less than positively of some woman he invested a lot of time and money in just to get dumped unceremoniously. In contrast, guys who have a lot of experience do not get overly attached to women they just bang so it would be quite odd if they spoke badly about them. They would objectively tell you about some crazy chicks they banged but they would not whine endlessly about such women like some women do about their exes.
2) I meant that those women can be very mechanical, albeit highly skilled at times.
3) I do not think that this is possible. I am talking of the kind of skill level where she is able to adapt to you on-the-fly, e.g. adjusts as she sucks your dick to figure out what you respond best to etc.