Over the years, the topic of sex tourism has come up on occasion. As you know, Western men are pigs if they go to Thailand and have fun with the bar girls over there, whereas Western women are “strong and empowered” if they engage in miscegenation somewhere in Africa. Those women tend to be well past their due-date, and the local men simply take advantage of them financially. Some women are so deluded that they think the men are sexually interested in them, and somehow rationalize away that they continually need to pay money. In contrast, my view on male sex tourism was that this is simply a case of prostitution abroad, where the weather is nicer. Yet, as I recently researched various countries in SEA, I stumbled upon the YouTube channel of an older white guy who talks about life in Thailand. His channel is called “Thailand Bound”. At first I thought that this guy is quite a cynic as the first few videos I watched were about scams in Thailand in general, as well as how Thai bar girl try to fleece customers. However, this guy is not just concerned about making sure you get the most bang for the buck. Instead, he wants to give an honest view of sex tourism in Thailand, covering pitfalls as well as recommendations.

One of his categories is about reader stories. Some of them are indeed of guys who essentially lost all their money in Thailand because they fell in love with a hooker, er, bar girl, and believed all her lies. They buy those girls jewelry, expensive phones, and clothes and somehow do not seem to register that they are indirectly paying for the girl. This seems to be a pretty good approach because whereas a Western prostitute gets paid directly for her time, a Thai bar girl may play the long game and extract money over the course of weeks, months, or even years. The girls are described as cunning, being fully aware that they can make a lot more money by providing some kind of relationship experience. If they play their cards right, they can even extract money from simps abroad month after month.

An interesting aspect is that plenty of men are fully aware that they are simply paying for the girl’s time. Yet, as stated in several of the videos on that channel, the men seem to also enjoy the company of those women. Several even made outlandish claims about the horrid behavior of Western women, some even stating that a relationship with a Western woman will cost you a lot more money and she will not even treat you well. In a simple tit-for-tat arrangement, I find it hard to even speak of exploitation. Those Thai girls are not forced into working as bar girls, after all, and the money they make seems pretty good, compared to the average salary, and the men seem to be getting their money’s worth as well.

I used to think that those women simply pretend to like the men who pay for their time, and some do not even do that. Yet, on Thailand Bound you also hear testimonies of men who went to Thailand, fell in love with a bar girl, married her, and had kids with them. The trajectory seem to follow a particular pattern. Those men have unsatisfying relationships with Western women and are fed up with them. Then they go to Thailand to have some fun, and happen to fall in love with a local bar girl. I think some of those men were simply never treated well by a Western girlfriend, which is why those Thai bar girls are so appealing to them. No, I do not think that this is an exaggeration at all.

Sex tourism, as it is packaged and sold in Thailand, seems to work out quite well for all parties involved. Some of the women only care about money, and they get it, and some apparently manage to get a Western husband out of this. Probably, honing her “this is my first night as a bar girl” routine over one or two years apparently pays off often enough, and the guys seem to let this pass. Most, if not all, must be aware that the girl they are talking to really is a hooker. The men do not care, and the women probably enter this career for the money and the potential of finding a Western husband. In this light, male sex tourism seems to be a clear positive: they get what they want, the women get what the want, and neither party feels as if they are being taken advantage of. I have not come across a lot of men who seem frustrated about having to spend money to bang chicks in Thailand whereas women who go to Africa to meet Jamal and Tyrone in their natural habitats leave the impression that they are genuinely bitter. Probably, his also has to do with women not being used to paying for anything in a relationship. In contrast, men open their wallet in Pattaya and think that what they are getting for their money is a real bargain. You really cannot blame them.

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