One of the most evergreen topics when discussing seduction is the question of how you can know that she is into you. As we all know, unlike in Hollywood movies, women rarely make the first move, or at least nothing any guy would easily interpret as such. It is even rarer that she would bluntly come on to you. Instead, you have to approach her. Among humans, the female presents herself, and the male has to approach. The risk of rejection rests squarely on your shoulders.
Of course, there are subtle and not-so-subtle signals. Yet, what they all have in common is that they still provide plausible deniability for her. Only very rarely will a chick walk up to you, unbutton your pants, and whack your cock for a little bit. This can happen on a wild rave, but it is hardly the norm. However, even in those situations she likely didn’t just walk up to you. Instead, she probably was impatient because you didn’t escalate further already, after having made out with her for minutes already.
The only way for you to find out whether she is into you is to make a move. There are women who are really into you but who are so sensitive towards rejection that they put up an ice-cold front. Maybe you’re on a date and she just does not seem to warm up to you. Now, assuming you can read female signals at least reasonably well and know how to distinguish between neutral and borderline hostile behavior, you may want to make a bold move. If she’s neutral but consistently blocks your attempts of sexually escalating in a smooth way, then you can bring out bigger guns. For instance, you can just go for a make-out. Maybe that is exactly what she was waiting for, i.e. for this handsome, confident man to make a bold move. She thinks you’re a Chad who just takes what he wants. Don’t prove her wrong!
Making a bold move can be intimidating. Sure, if you are new to seduction, it can go wrong, but you will learn. However, if you are not willing to do so, you may lose girls who would otherwise be into you. Alternatively, consider this angle: if she’s not really budging and you feel as if you’re not making any progress — because you have not made much if any progress with her — then it is highly likely that she will lose interest anyway. Thus, a bold move like going for a make-out may be your only chance to save those interactions.
Granted, your bold move may fail. In that case, you’ve only accelerated the process because she was on the way out anyway. On the other hand, if she then suddenly warms up to you, hops on your lap and wraps her arms around you as she is wildly making out with you, you know that you did the right thing. You’ve salvaged your date. You have nothing to lose, so better be bold than timid.
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6 thoughts on “You Need to Make a Move”
Aaron, is it bold enough to simply rub her arm/side/back? Maybe hold her hand? I can’t see myself going for a makeout if the girl seems neutral. Or would a woman who seems neutral see simple touching as equally amiguous as her own actions?
Also I am completely turned off by a girl who is ice-cold or border line hostile. I suck even with flirtatious girls because I’m so insecure lol. Can these types of girls be good in the sack despite their bad disposition? Seems like they would suck in bed.
*or not “suck” in a good way ?
Maybe this is an instance of “anti-game” but it’s not uncommon that I’ll be walking in a public area like a mall, walking and minding my own business, when something catches my eye – someone’s head turning in my peripheral vision to look at me.
When I reflexively look, sometimes I’ve caught an attractive woman who was looking at me, and now they’re looking straight ahead with a poker face. This might be the anti-game part , but I’ll look to see for some further sign that they are interest, and when they don’t look again, I figure they weren’t interested so I don’t make a move, don’t approach.
I know there’s one way to find out, but should I take this as a sign of interest – that initial look?
It’s a sign of female interest or at the very least curiosity. I found that Western women are quick to look away when you catch them looking. In fact, you only catch them looking if they’ve been looking for a bit too long. In contrast, my experience with Easter European women is that if you catch them looking at you, they hold eye contact and may even invite you to approach them by giving you a big smile.
Sometimes I’ll lock eyes with a girl and we smile at each other but she looks away. Sometimes she holds the smile even when she’s not looking at me any more. Could be that she just feels very flattered. But I have noticed that when it happens at work and I have to break eye contact first cause I’m busy, I hold the smile while I continue my task. In this case I definitely like the girl. Not sure if it’s the same for girls.