Recently, a concern-trolling reader posted some rather insulting comment on here, which can be found in The Open Thread #48. Said reader, whom I suspect to be female, posted the following video. As you can see, it exploits people with disabilities. The viewer is supposed to feel sympathy for their plight. Despite their deformities and mental handicaps, they go on dates and try to fit into normie society. It’s so heart-warming, according to the cold-hearted producers of this show.
The reader continued,
These people are genuine, and more honest than what happens on your average date. It’s very touching. It’s not based on looks – but on human connection.
Advice for men: look in the mirror, then choose a woman who is on your level as far as looks are concerned. (…) How about, if you are an average guy, you go for an average girl with a “nice personality”. Then she will also appreciate you for your “nice personality”. Win-win.
What a crock of shit.
First of all, yes, guys want to fuck attractive women and women want to fuck attractive men. Of course, women also have a secondary motivation, which is securing resources. For the latter, a guy does not necessarily have to be attractive.
Second, men view women much differently than women view men. As we now know, thanks to various dating sites, men rate women on a normal distribution, i.e. most women they view as average, a few are seen as unattractive and a few as very attractive. On the other hand, women consider 80% of men to be unattractive. Their perception of men is completely skewed. There is a mismatch in the dating landscape due to the ever-accelerating hypergamy of women. They all want to fuck the hottest guys and wait for them until their eggs are dried up. Once they have smashed into the wall, a regular guy is suddenly good enough. It’s too predictable. Yet, more and more women end up single, or as single mothers. They clearly lose. The demands on a guy in the dating market are sky-high. Meanwhile, many women believe that all they need to do is exist.
Third, very few couples are “looks-matched”. Almost always the guy is better-looking. This gets worse the older they get. Just look at your average 40-year-old guy who is together with the average 38-year-old woman. (I believe that a two-year age difference is quite common in the West.) He looks still pretty okay but she is fucking done. Now fast forward twenty years and put a 60-year-old guy next to a 58-year-old woman. Her looks have been in the shitter for decades while he, if he were in reasonable shape and financially successful, could still get younger women. On the other hand, only guys with a disorder called gerontophilia are into older women.
Fourth, an average girl does not have a “nice personality”. Nature is not democratic. Average people have worse personalities, look worse, are less healthy, and less intelligent than people who are above average. The term ‘average’ gives it away. Your average woman is bitter because her only chance to fuck a hot guy is if she agrees to a demeaning pump-and-dump. Those guys would never in a thousand years date her.
Fifth, your personality does not exist in absolute terms. Instead, it’s due to how she perceives you. In other words, she interprets your behavior based on your sexual desirability. If a woman is physically attracted to you, you can act like a total asshole and it won’t hurt your chances. Picture this: a chick is really into you and asks you some inane questions. You respond, “I don’t give a shit. I’m only interested in fucking you.” Same guy, different chick: she introduces herself. You tell her, “I don’t like your name. I’ll call you Becky instead.” Still the same guy, different girl. She says, “This is a really great club. Do you come here often?” The guy responds, “I only come here for the women; I give a crap about the music.” Same guy, different chick. She says some bullcrap. The guy can’t stand it and responds, while grabbing her crotch, “Let’s fuck first. Maybe we’ll talk later.” In all cases, the guy is, objectively, an insufferable asshole. Yet, instead of getting slapped or insulted, the girls thought I was “funny”, “so hot”, or “not like all the other guys”, and got laid. If she’s into you (and lacks self-respect) you can treat them like shit and they’ll love it.
On the last note, imagine some doughy-looking loser said to a girl, “Um, ah, I don’t like your name. I’ll call you Whore instead, okay?” He’d be in big trouble. Heck, we are already at a point where awkward white guys may be put into jail for ten years for touching a girl’s elbow. Somehow, I have the impression that if he belonged to a different ethnicity and would have raped that chick instead, our cucked police would not even want to go after him. Just think of how long the open-air rape camp in Rotherham was in operation before anything happened.
In summary, if a woman likes you, everything you’ll say will be funny. You won’t be a creep. Instead, she’ll say that it’s hot that you go for what you want. No, no, no, you’re not arrogant and full of yourself. Instead, you are confident. You’re not a misogynist either but merely “traditionally masculine.” Forget about being perceived as a colossal asshole by insulting women — they’ll giggle and happily suck your dick because you are “special”. In less extreme scenarios, imagine you have an eccentric hobby and it somehow comes up. As you are a hot guy, she’ll view it as “fascinating” or “charismatic”. A run-of-the-mill geek, on the other hand, would be seen as “eccentric”, “weirdo”, or worse. Do you want to know how to develop a really great personality? That’s easy: be good looking and rich. Girls will love whatever you say.
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37 thoughts on “Your Personality is Irrelevant”
I think this is one of best post in 2019 by you aaron, good job in explaining the personality thing. Should be made sticky so any sjw or woman who end up here dont comment with the same old points
In an ideal world, this would indeed work. Instead, the typical moronic SJW acolyte will comment on the first post she sees, believing that nobody has made those points before.
That’s always so funny. I used to refer to feminists as femibots… because of this. But it’s not just feminists, PUAs were the same, as well as all SJWs.
They come to you with this super-duper over-confident demeanor like… but how about THIS!!! And they spout some bullshit non-argument that you’ve shredded to pieces 1768 times before. Yet the person saying it to you believes they’re saying something wholly original. In fact, they act like it’s a nobel-prize-winning point. They’ve cracked the code.
Forgot to close blockquote tag. Just posting this to see if it screws up following comments too, lol.
I added the missing tag. I would have been very surprised if the blockquote would have an effect across the boundaries of a comment. Then again, in web development you never know.
Yeah it actually used to happen, that’s why I was curious to test if it still happens. I once broke a comment thread here that way (2-3 times), but it was ages ago. I don’t know if it has to do with how the theme is coded or wordpress, but whoever’s fault it was, they seemed to have fixed it.
I love when FaceandLMS debates some PUAtard. The tard will always bring up the facet of personality, and how an average guy with a great personality can blow a Chad who is an asshole out of a pick up. Like, why would you assume that Chad has a bad personality? Good chance that Chad has at least a decent personality due to all the positive feedback he has gotten and chances to socialize with a plethora of people.
As a guy, I would personally prefer to associate with some geek who has spent that last decade of his life in front of a computer learning to produce and record music, for example. It’s a mistake to think that women think the same way. Unless that guy is somehow able to make it big using his hobby, then somehow he becomes a status symbol and a good work mule, not to mention he will have limited experiences with women and is easily controlled and manipulated.
That’s such a good point, and I wonder why we don’t bring it up more often in response to those claims…
Just like we’ve noticed that attractive girls tend to be nicer and have better personalities, versus average girls being bitter… the same is true for more attractive men as well. The reason is the same. Lots of positive feedback gives you confidence and makes you charming.
That’s another interesting thing how those dumbasses came up with theories about charm and social skills being the be-all end-all… They see the charming positive guy get the girl and they say “he got her because of his charm”… forgetting the fact that the reason he’s charming is because he grew up with a positive feedback loop which was INITIATED by his good looks.
Alek, have you yourself or have your ever known anyone to anti-game themselves out of a sure thing?
I’m not Alek, but I used to be (and to a certain extent still am) fairly socially incompetent and have anti-gamed myself out of a sure thing way too many times.
but then where do you draw the line?
can you reliably distinguish females that are not enough into you(but are to some degree) and chicks who you anti gamed your self from?
I’ve anti-gamed myself out of about a million lays. Back in the day when I was a PUA I would be “sarging” a lot and there would always be chicks who’d be into me from the get go, but that wasn’t good enough for me. I had to make sure that I game them! LOL
It was about the ego. If they just like me from the get go then that “doesn’t count,” but if I game them into sex then it’s somehow an accomplishment. Only then will I have deserved the sex. Pretty twisted in retrospect.
So I’d “run routines” and do “cocky funny” shit and pretty quickly I’d be insulting them or just giving them a weird vibe thus disqualifying myself. I bet in their heads they were going – he’s so hot, I just wish he wasn’t so weird.
You don’t have to do much of anything to get chicks, just be in social situations with them and move things forward with the ones who let you. And accept the fact that most of them will not be interested. As you go from initial contact, to say coffee date or drink, to let’s go to my place, to taking off her bra, to putting P in V – at each one of those steps some chicks will drop off. Just accept that this will happen and don’t try to play god and “game” chicks into sexing you – not gonna work. This is the advice I’d give my 25 year old self.
I really had this goal back in the day to be able to get ANY chick in ANY situation. Nothing short of becoming god would satisfy me 😉
What is more surprising is how many chicks did sleep with me DESPITE all the weird shit I was doing!
Yes, this is pretty much exactly what I was referring to. Making the mistake of attempting to over charm instead of just taking things to their natural conclusion. PUA definitely comes across as cringy and weird, looking back in hindsight.
I was skimming the black pill wiki site thing a little while ago and noticed the studies about Machiavellian traits being considered attractive to many women. As Aaron outlines in this post, the examples seem to kind of fit into that category. So, when one says personality doesn’t matter, and you give examples of asshole personality traits that women may, what you might actually mean is that women aren’t necessarily turned off by anti-social behavior.
I would go as far as to say that personality DOES matter. However, I’m not so delusional as to entertain the idea that personality can create attraction where non already exists. And also, that the unattractive personality traits have not been adequately outlined in this post.
To elaborate a bit more on my claim, I will give an example of when personality can wreck your chances with women. Now, when we are strictly speaking of quick pick ups like bathroom pulls and the like, all it may take is height/good looks and the balls to go through with the act. However, when playing the long game, the same guy with height and good looks could potentially come off as unattractive by being overly available or needy.
This shouldn’t be an issue for a really good looking guy, at least not for long, because like mentioned before, he will be given plenty of opportunities and lots of positive reinforcement to help him develop an ‘attractive personality.’ But for a Chad lite (I’m speculating) or especially average to high end average type of guy, where there is some attraction based on looks, a needy/clingy personality could sabotage you.
Examples of things I see guys do to be needy/clingy that sabotage their chances: Texting or calling way too much, spending too much money on first dates, being overly nice and trying to be super sweet and understanding, not standing up for themselves and being afraid to just tell a bitch to fuck hersef etc.
Anyways, I have this chick right now that is literally more attracted to me than I can remember any chick ever being into me. It’s a combination of things. I’m objectively about the most attractive I’ve ever been right now, and I fit her niche (emo rocker damaged type chick of which there are insanely few attractive ones in my small hick town).
She is super open about sex and gives off that porno sex vibe that Alek talks about in older posts. I say the most vile shit to her, stuff you would never utter to a ‘good girl’ and she loves it. She just laughs. I’ll literally just text her in advance when I’m feeling horny and tell her to come over tonight and netfuck (netflix and chill), and when she starts saying shit like, ‘I miss you’, my reply has actualy been to ‘come over soon so I can pulverize that pussy to bits.’ And guess what, she rarely flakes and generally shows up. There is no warm up to get her vagina lubricated, I can immediately get her undressed and start fucking her, and she usually cums multiple times from penetration alone.
I’m not trolling here either.
“but then where do you draw the line?
can you reliably distinguish females that are not enough into you(but are to some degree) and chicks who you anti gamed your self from?”
Obviously you can never know for sure if you would have got a chick had you behaved differently. However I definitely underperformed relative to the opportunities I was getting.
For example I had multiple occasions where a chick at a bar or club approached me to tell me she thought I was good looking, to ask if she could take a picture with me or just grabbed my hand and started slow dancing with me. I was not able to pull these women, but I feel like somebody who didn’t have a bad case of “anti-game” would have been able to have sex with many or even most of these women.
This is not including all the more subtle ways that women convey interest that I missed, noticed too late or failed to capitalise on properly.
What OverDrive said. It’s impossible to know on a per-chick basis… Did she respond badly because of your attractiveness, or because you had a a massive scowl and extremely calibrated social skills (anti-game). Would she have responded better if you weren’t as awkward, or would it have made not difference? Impossible to know.
However, you can tell over a longer curve (sample size). If you flirt with 20 girls while anti-game, and then approach 20 having improved your eye-contact, your smile etc… and there’s a noticeable difference, you can just generalize how much difference it makes on AVERAGE. But now whether it was the factor that broke the deal on any one given chick.
Yep Alek is right. My appearance didn’t change but my success rate did just from recognising social cues better, responding appropriately and most importantly ACTUALLY INDICATING MY OWN INTEREST AND MOVING INTERACTIONS FORWARD SEXUALLY, rather than behaving like an asexual.
I’m 31 and I’m a legit Norwood 7. people usually mistaken me for a man in his 50’s. Even girl my age reject me for being too old. I’m bald since I was 20 ( a geological age ago ).
I’m short too ( barely 5’8 barefoot ) and I have man boobs. Obviously I’m virgin while my friends are all married with kids.
When women, expecially young ones ( 20 – 25 ) laught at you or look at you with pity, you die everyday.
A friend of mine say to me ” joina gym, lose your swollen hamster cheeks and double chin and try scalp pigmentation “.
What should I do? I have a regular shaped skull with a strong jaw ( but the jaw is hidden by facial fat) .
Slim down. A weight within normal BMI range is required.
Cut it down to 3mm (Buzzcut) and add a stylish beard. Scalp pigmentation is a good idea. Some people have quite nice results with it.
Look into submental liposuction for the double chin
Personality only matters IF you are over a girl’s looks threshold… if she considers you unattractive it won’t matter.
Asshole personality is not attractive to women, they tolerate it due to look.
But Aaron, surely this post proves that personality and game do matter?!?
Your “asshole” behaviour was the real reason women thought you were hot; you were using Cocky/Funny techniques! So attraction was not a choice for those women!
Guys, if we behave the same way Aaron was in those examples we can all Double Our Dating!
No, I just think some more context is helpful. When you say that personality is irrelevant, do you mean it is irrelevant 100% of the time? 75% of the time?
Here’s a thought experiment. Does a woman’s personality matter to you for a ONS? Not likely, probably not even a bit. Does a woman’s personality matter to you when it comes to marriage and raising children? Absolutely. Again, it’s about the context.
Disclamer: I don’t believe personality creates attraction where there is not already attraction. But I think it matters, depending on the context and the type of woman you’re dealing with.
overdrive here is joking and copying pua patterns on purpose.
the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
” I don’t believe personality creates attraction where there is not already attraction.”
I think we need define attraction when making statements like that. It is a spectrum. A woman might not be strongly attracted to you at first, but she can be with repeated exposure. This has happened too many times to me and men I know to think it’s all BS.
Women tend to be more dismissive of looks at first glance, but repeated exposure can make them notice other things about you that they didn’t see the first or second time. So yeh it’s still attraction, but it is a weaker form that grows stronger over time.
The reason us Westerners find this hard to swallow is because it’s more common in Asian cultures and was more common in our own cultures before modern dating took over completely. (i.e the deregulated model).
Most men also aren’t charming and have no idea how to talk to women, which doesn’t help.
LOL. The “attraction” she develops over time is because she has figured out that you have a lot of resources and she’d like to get her hands on them.
It’s not a spectrum, it’s actually dichotomy, as Aaron hinted.
Scientifically, when research looks into this stuff, they talk about two types of attraction. Short-term-mating attraction, and long-term-mating attraction. And all the research finds they’re COMPLETELY different.
The way you know PUAs are full of shit is that they use the word “attraction” for two things which are completely different.
Her being attracted to you in the context of wanting to have casual sex with you, vs her being attracted to you as a potential “long-term mate” (read: provider) are two COMPLETELY different things. We should probably even have different words for them, because again, the science is clear that they’re worlds apart.
I’ve noticed this happening before with chicks that I’m in proximity with often. They sometimes don’t seem to be interested initially (don’t seem to), but in my specific case it wasn’t anything related to resources because at the time I was broke. I think what happens in these situations is a chick gets horny, looks at you, realizes you’re not her first choice but thinks, ‘oh, whatever, he’ll do.’ When this did happen to me, it was usually a one night stand or very short lived.
Resources at the age of 16 or 20? Seems unlikely. Might explain a 35 year old woman’s motivation though.
There are more than two options. i.e fuck buddy and provider.
Resources don’t only come in the form of massive wealth. It can be time and attention. Basically the provider provides things in exchange for sex. The sexy guy only gives one thing to her, his dick, that’s it.
Not according to science.
When I was at university, a buddy of mine “intercepted” his girlfriends communications. She was saying point blank to her friend that the guy is boring, but he does her homework assignments for her, and writes her papers, so it’s worth it :))
“Resources don’t only come in the form of massive wealth. It can be time and attention. Basically the provider provides things in exchange for sex. The sexy guy only gives one thing to her, his dick, that’s it.”
Ok, but that’s a pretty broad definition of resources, and it would be easy to justify almost anything under that banner.
I’m in broad agreement with you, but that is essentially no different from arguing that relationships (friendships, romantic relationships etc) are generally based on mutual exchange, whether real or otherwise. We don’t do most things purely out of the goodness of our hearts.
Having said that though, I won’t deny that when I did manage to score above my league it was usually with women that had emotional problems or specific emotional needs that a lot of other guys either couldn’t or wouldn’t deal with.
There is always a price. It’s just up to whether the man is willing to pay it or not.
Well exactly, that’s the whole point.
Any time a chick wants to fuck you for a benefit OTHER than your hot sexy body and penis, she’s fucking you for reasons OTHER than physical lust.
– When you’re the hot guy, the only benefit she gets from sex with you, is the sex itself. Do you understand?
– Anytime she’s fucking you for a reason other than just the sex itself, it’s for reasons other than the sex itself