Recently I was asked a rather peculiar question. The guy’s issue was that he seemed to only ever meet women who are in a relationship. Consequently, he was wondering what he should do and where he could find single women. Questions like this reveal that (honest) men are at a serious disadvantage in the dating arena. They want to be honest and open and not hit on a woman who is attached. Yet, the problem is that women tend to not view it that way. Here is what is the issue is.
As a prelude, let me state that I am not discussing the case where a guy is unattractive and gets shot down by women. One after the other tells him that she has a boyfriend, even if she does not. Instead, the issue is that most women that guy meets are attached. Let me also add that we are talking about the post-college crowd. What guys often underestimate is that having a boyfriend is a big status symbol for women. This becomes most obvious when two women who don’t like each other try hard to one-up each other. In that competition, having a boyfriend is much better than being single as the undertone of the latter is that a woman is either not attractive or can’t keep a guy around. Further proof is the constant “where are all the good men” caterwauling. Considering their supposed strength and independence, single women seem to be quite desperate for any kind of guy in their life as they get older.
Many young women view relationships in a rather, well, fluid manner. This means that a guy she’s fucking is quickly presented with lines like “we’ve been hitting it off” and “yeah, it’s something special” — if she’s cornered by some girl she feels in competition with. She could just have been a mere pump-and-dump or a fuck buddy, but even that is better than having no guy at all. She’ll proudly wave her phone around, showing off Chad’s body, hoping to incite envy among her friends. We’ll hope that she’s not fucking a guy who’s also dicking some of her friends.
Some women keep a boyfriend around for mere convenience. This could mean that he’s some loser who’s buying her groceries or takes her out to dinner every other day. Having a personal chauffeur is also quite popular. In more extreme cases, she’s with him only because she can live in his house or apartment rent-free. This may also mean that the guy who believes to be her boyfriend is merely her “flatmate” when she’s talking about her living arrangements with some guy she fancies. Her male visitors will only show up when her supposed flatmate isn’t around.
The knee-jerk response, “I have a boyfriend” is often just a phrase she reflexively spouts out, even if she fancies you. She’d rather be seen as being desired by some guy than admitting that she’s single. Any guy is better than having no guy around. Also, not only is her relationship status little more than a facade, even in situations where she does have a boyfriend, she may tell you right away that she’d be open for a serious relationship. Those of you who have banged a lot of women surely have heard her explain that she’d be “open for more” or that lines like “my boyfriend is not a problem if you’re serious.”
That a woman’s relationship status means nothing is also quite obvious whenever some woman temporarily forgets that she has a boyfriend. She’s riding Chad’s cock while her beta-cuck of a boyfriend tries to get in touch with her. This is not a cliche. A lot of women cheat – a lot. When they get caught, they furthermore are more upset about having been found out than their cheating, which wonderfully illustrates what they think of the guy they are with.
I would say that any reasonably attractive woman who is not a complete shut-in would rather go from boyfriend to boyfriend than be single in-between. In order to avoid any intermittent bouts of being single, they look for a new guy while they are still officially dating their current guy. This is something many guys are completely oblivious to, yet it is most commonly observed among women. Some mockingly call it “monkey-branching” because those women drop their current boyfriend only once the next one is secured, just like a monkey navigates the jungle by letting go of one branch only after having firmly secured the next one. I think that a lot of women not only want a boyfriend but also a “backup guy”, i.e. there are almost always two guys in the picture. There could even be several backup guys.
A very common phenomenon among women is that they end a relationship for no apparent reason, disappear and then, out of nowhere, suddenly reappear, wanting to continue the previous relationship. In almost all such cases, the reason behind her actions is that the relationship with her new guy didn’t quite pan out like she imagined. He may have kicked her out after a few weeks or simply ghosted on her after a few more love-making sessions. The new guy is now unavailable, so she’s trying to boomeranging to her ex-boyfriend, who may be caught off-guard. More likely than not, he has been completely unaware that she was dating guys behind his back and that she’s only attempting to come back because the guy she wanted to monkey-branch to had no long-term interest in her.
What is also amusing is that fuck-buddies may show the same kind of behaviour. Some of them may come back two or three times after having disappeared for a few weeks or even months. Sometimes, it’s just for sex, but they may as well pretend it’s just for sex while they want to feel out if you’re now ready to commit. If this ever happens to you, you’ll hopefully have long internalized that a woman who is degrading herself to be used just for sex makes for a rather poor girlfriend. Better let them hint at seeing “someone” while they are trying to monkey-branch to some other guy. If in doubt, keep going your own way.
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