In my last article, Your sex drive vs. your desire of picking up women, I mentioned that one motivation behind my wild seducer days was that I was pretty obsessed with sex for a while. It’s doubtful whether I could seriously have called myself a sex-addict, but seeing how wishy-washy a discipline psychology is, I probably would have gotten a diagnosis after talking to less than five clinical psychologists.
While I don’t think I was a sex addict, there is another aspect of my personality that most certainly played a role: I am rather strong-willed and determined to the point of stubbornness. Had I been a relaxed laid-back soy boy, I don’t think I would have bothered picking up one chick after another. Instead, I would happily have followed the mainstream blueprint of a relationship, i.e. being the cucked beta bitch boy of a misbehaving woman who does not even put out. I wanted to get laid with a lot of women, so I focussed on that. Had I not wanted to get laid with lots of women, I would have spent my time on something else.
I consider the entire field of motivational psychology to be a crock of shit. If you really want to do something, you do it, and if you don’t, then dangling a carrot on a stick in front of you won’t change anything. You may only end up resenting the people who want to “motivate” you. A concrete example is the ongoing trend of organizations, particularly in tech and creative industries, to blur the line between work and spare time. They put a foosball table and a PlayStation in the office, drop a dozen six-packs of beers on the kitchen table once a week, and want you to socialize with your work colleagues so that you readily put in unpaid overtime. This is not really motivation but blatant manipulation because people end up feeling guilty if they head home while their colleagues put in face time.
Some time ago I had a client for a consultation call who had an issue that is highly relevant to this post. He claimed he wanted to get laid, but asked me to help him get motivated to actually go out and hit on chicks. To me this was baffling, so we spent some time talking about why he thought he needed to have a girlfriend or fleeting sexual encounters. Some men are perfectly fine without women in their life. I was perfectly happy in my adolescence when I deliberately steered clear of women. Others would be just as happy if they weren’t so influenced by peer pressure to settle down. Of course, such guys are rare, but they tend to be important for society. In case you’re wondering what happened to that client of mine: his passion was his studies, and he ended up getting into a PhD program at a top university instead of raising the average IQ of the clubs and bars in his area. He’ll be fine, and in case he wanted to get women later in life it would be quite easy for him, seeing that he is in a field that is very much in demand in the labor market. (One issue, though, is that lack of experience makes you an easy mark for scheming women, so you should at least get to the point where you don’t fall in love just because some gold-digger gave you a blowjob.)
For guys who are not obsessed with sex and don’t want to devote themselves to some field of study or craft or skill to master, there are of course healthier approaches to dating. However, in this case it is most important to adjust your expectations. If you are not driven to bang a lot of girls, you most likely won’t ever end up with banging three different girls on a single day. Thus, be clear of what you want to get out of picking up women and go for it — Minimal Game is the ideal manual for that kind of approach. For most of you, your energies are arguably better spent elsewhere than on obsessively picking up women.
Did you like this article? Excellent! If you want to support what I am doing, then please consider buying my amazing books or donating to the upkeep of this site. If you want tailored advice, I am available for one-on-one consultation sessions.