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Dating Before, During, and After Apps

Looking back, it is quite astounding how much worse the dating experience for the average (!) guy has gotten due to technology. If you were a boomer, the women you interacted with met so few men that you probably had a chance somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 of marrying the first woman you made a move on, and because women were heavily discouraged by other women and society at large to sleep around, she may have looked at Joe Average and tell herself that this guy surely is not that bad. Perhaps she only felt nervous around him because he was the first guy she kind of liked at her high school who approached her. It seems that it did not take much more than that back in the days to sort out your romantic life once and for all. Often enough, dating seems to have been a one-and-done affair.

Of course, dating and marrying your high-school sweet heart was not the only option, even though it used to be pretty common. Yet, even if this did not happen for you, the local community tried its best to get you a girlfriend who was supposed to become your future wife or who could potentially be one of your one to three girlfriends before finally marrying. Sometimes the guy’s parents knew other parents who had a daughter that may have dropped a hint about liking Little Joe Average, so they set up a highly atypical outing involving both families. This sound completely ridiculous nowadays, but even when I was growing up this was not at all uncommon. It was about the adults enjoying some food and beverages and the teenage children sitting together at the end of the table, and sometimes they were hitting it off.

Then there is the aspect of meeting women via friends or acquaintances. I am not sure how often this happens nowadays, but there is the phenomenon that young women seem to feel happiest if all their friends are in a very similar situation as they are in themselves. In some cases this may mean that they have to drop some friends and make new ones, but often there is a time window in which, for instance, women who are in a relationship try to get their female friends to also get a boyfriend. Sometimes, women blatantly ask their male acquaintances if they like this or that friend of theirs and if the guy did not act like a complete autist in such situations, he could easily find himself getting invited to a party or a night out with a bunch of those women and his friends. Today, on the other hand, women encourage each other to bang another ten guys, have a second mixed-race baby, cover more of their body with tattoos, or get divorced yet again.

I also recall a time when teenagers and young adults had relatively busy social lives. During summers in my teens, there was a house party somewhere basically every other weekend. These were not intimate affairs. Instead, the host was happy that their parents were away so they invited all their friends and asked them to also bring a few more people along if they could vouch for them being able to behave. As these parties happened within the same socioeconomic sphere (and same ethnicity) there was virtually no drama. There were no fights, nobody stole anything, and people strangely enough also saw little reason in destroying someone else’s private property. Today, I think you need to have a few screws loose if you invite a group of friends and a bunch of random people to your home.

Later, as a student, we also had quite a few parties, normally in shared apartments because these had the required space for hosting a few dozen people. Here, the social ties were normally a bit looser but the general theme prevailed, i.e. these were prime venues for hooking up with chicks and potentially getting a girlfriend. The latter was of course much more likely, compared to a club hookup, because of having a relatively similar background. Of course, if you have mutual acquaintances, both the girl and the guy would treat each other with more respect than in other circumstances.

There were plenty other opportunities such as events, concerts, or sports. You could also relatively easily meet a chick to bang at work, at least in some jobs, and even in the office there was no #metoo craze going around that meant that saying hi to the wrong chick got you an unpleasant appointment with HR in order to discuss “company values”, if they did not try to fire you outright. In some communities, church used to be a promising venue, too, and finding a religious girlfriend in a society in which certain standards are enforced is probably not the worst option.

I have not even touched upon clubs and bars yet. For a time, these were probably such popular venues for meeting women because society got more and more fragmented. If you cannot talk to women at work anymore, don’t do sports, and have virtually no social ties in the city you moved to because of your fancy corporate job, then heading to a club or bar was simply a pretty reasonable decision.

Up until the late 2000s and early 2010s, which is when smartphones really took off, dating almost completely took place in the offline world. Of course there were dating websites but these were not all that popular. You would not find the hottest chicks on there. At that time, there was quite a heavy social stigma towards using computers so any socially-savvy woman would not want to have her profile picture on such a site. This was a time when women did not want to have a computer at home. It was also the case that dating websites had an enormous surplus of men because this was the demographic that used to own computers. Only after Apple released the first MacBook in 2006 this slowly changed, but there was a delay of a few years as it took a while for these laptops to become cultural icons, and by that time, smartphones were already taking off. Today, a lot of women do not own a computer and are instead perfectly happy with their smartphone, with which they have a symbiotic relationship.

The world changed completely once the iPhone took off and the smartphone concept got successfully copied by other tech companies. While a computer was extremely uncool in the eyes of women, smartphones were anything but. They were already spending hours a day talking on the phone so using an app on the now much bigger phone screen did not come with any preconceived notion of this kind of usage being only for geeks or weirdos. On top, there was the convenience factor. Suddenly, women did not have to doll themselves up and head to the nearest club. Instead, all it took was creating a profile by adding a few pictures, putting some emojis in the profile description, and putting the phone away for a bit. The next time they picked up the phone, they had over a thousand dicks to chose from.

It has been observed that it is not necessarily the best technology that wins. Instead, it has to be “good enough” and convenient. This is why we stream videos instead of watching BluRay movies or listen to compressed music on Spotify or YouTube instead of downloading lossless FLAC files. Likewise, dating via apps is not necessarily the best option for finding a long-term partner, but it is simply incredibly convenient for women, which is why they are using it. This was certainly true during the Covid scamdemic, but now app usage is in decline as well. The big problem with apps, though, is that your life will normally only accidentally overlap with someone else’s. In fact, it is often much worse than going to a club or a bar, if we exclude the most nondescript mainstream venues. If you go to a place that plays EDM because that is what you like listening to, at least you can be sure that whatever thot you are going to pick up is into the same kind of music as you. On a dating app, on the other hand, you can meet people you otherwise would never have met. This is not an advantage in the long term, however, because it makes the other person basically completely replaceable.

Let us go back to what I wrote earlier: you used to meet women in a social context, within a community. As a consequence, your relationship with that woman would not just be supported by that community. Instead, you would also directly strengthen that very community, making it more resilient. That time seems to be completely gone, given how society has been changed in the last few decades. Still, even in the other scenarios, there was support from the community involved, which means that your relationship was more grounded.

If you moved to a big city for work, and it is a place where you have virtually no social ties, then any sexual relationship you form there will almost by necessity be without any social context. Perhaps you know some guys from work but once they leave or get fired, or you leave or get fired, those ties will turn out to have been quite ephemeral. It is the same with her, no matter how many “besties” she thinks she has, they can disappear overnight. Thus, there is no real support for your relationship. Contrast this with you living close to your or her parents or, perhaps, in a town where both your and her parents live, and many mutual acquaintances! You will quickly realize that these scenarios mean that you will take your sexual relationships a lot more seriously. Not only will you be more careful about entering a relationship, you will also be much more willing to stick with it. In contrast, in a big city in which you do not really know anyone, you may decide to just “ghost” some chick you have been banging for a few weeks because other chicks in the past had ghosted you as well.

Now that the Covid scamdemic is over and women have discovered that there is not just attention to be had via apps but money as well, there seems to have been a shift towards them expecting if not demanding some kind of fiscal remuneration. Some women go on OnlyFans, hoping to make six-figures, or hold out for a sugar daddy. Others go on dates but not without casually asking if you could “venmo” them fifty or a hundred bucks. Of course, by going from being a user on an app to having, in principle, a global audience on OnlyFans or Instagram, the standards of women have also increased. They no longer hold out for a few months, hoping that some teenage high school heartthrob will hit on them. No, today they are holding out for the top .01% men who will never come.

Looking at current trends, it seems that people are dating and having sex a lot less than they used to. Arguably, this goes hand in hand with social fragmentation, which is, dear lefties, an obvious consequence of the destruction of communities by settling people from different ethnicities. Add economic uncertainty to the mix, and men will simply not be willing to start a family. There is even a growing number of men who are deliberately dropping out of the workforce because they have realized that they will never own a home or have a stable family. Thus, to them it may be a rational choice to simply do their own thing.

I do not think that the societal trends we are seeing are accidental. While I do not think that there is a grand master plan on how to create widespread social alienation, I do believe that it is a deliberate choice by the elites in government and tech to push certain trends once they turn out to be useful for their goals. Social media, for instance, could have been as heavily regulated as TV once was, but this did not happen, despite overwhelming evidence of its harms. Likewise, there could be a society in which a college degree does not entail taking on crippling debt, and many such societies exist. Yet, it is convenient for “the system” to put people in massive debt, so there are no attempts of stopping it.

With regards to dating, it seems we are moving towards a future in which each generation is procreating less than the last one. Partly, this is also due to chemicals in our foot and water, which harm male and female fertility. The vaxx also, as predicted by schizos, lowers fertility. I am, however, wondering if there is a possible future in which the mega city as as concept will be unfeasible as it is an evolutionary dead-end. Probably, you could run a very effective society in which people are aggregated in villages and towns that contain at most a few ten thousand people. Such communities would surely be a lot more resilient than the current Western model of trying to stuff as many people as possible into cities like NYC, London, Paris, Berlin, or Vienna. Medieval cities only had a few ten thousand people, and look what those people achieved! I would certainly take another Gothic cathedral over any of the abominations of modern architecture. We would furthermore have stronger social ties and, assuming a relatively monoethnic society, dating and the problem of the low fertility rate of society would also disappear.

10 thoughts on “Dating Before, During, and After Apps

  1. I think the declining western rate is one of the most important topics in the west.

    Looking at my friends and family, most have partners and only a few are single (weirdly I know more female singles than male). Though I have to say my friends have good jobs.

    However, even though they are in a relationship, most don’t have kids. Reasons:
    1. They are waiting
    -> I dont understand this. They know their partner for ages and already have a “boring” “settled life”… why wait?
    2. They are trying and can’t get kids
    -> this might be because they waited too long (see point 1)
    3. They think having kids is bad for the environment
    -> yes, these are brainwashed lefties

  2. Aaron,
    1. “Looking at current trends, it seems that people are dating and having sex a lot less than they used to”.

    Both men and women or just men who aren’t having sex enough or dating enough?

    2. “There is even a growing number of men who are deliberately dropping out of the workforce because they have realized that they will never own a home or have a stable family”.

    What would cause men to feel so defeated that they must completely give up in life? Is this a case where men need comradery? I’ve often heard that men need brotherhood.

    3. “While I do not think that there is a grand master plan on how to create widespread social alienation”

    When being a loner for many years, or for your entire life finally pays off! Lol. I believe our elites are pushing for social alienation as a way of reducing the population as it may push people into committing suicide or to get people hooked into prescribe medication… more money to be made.

    1. 1) It is of course possible that people are dating more than ever before yet still have a lot less sex. I was referring to studies, though, that claim that people are having less and less sex. Here is one such article:

      2) The lack of camaraderie is surely also a factor. I noticed that in “inclusive” workplaces social bonds are extremely weak. I have seen plenty of people leaving their job without even saying goodbye to anyone in person or via email. They just hand in their equipment and disappear. This is the case both in the case of layoffs and people resigning themselves. Of course, there is the much bigger problem that people generally do not perceive that the world is changing for the better and you normally need to be at least somewhat optimistic to consider marriage and having children. Not all men who feel discouraged completely drop out of the labor force, though. It also often happens that they maximize their work-life balance instead of their career.

      3) This is possible, too. Note that the elites are also flooding the country with opioids. If male suicides and a low fertility rate were a problem for the elites, these issues would be tackled instead of tolerated. Even Commiefornia was able to clean their streets in the ramp-up to Xi Jinping’s visit. What excuse do they really have to not manage to keep their streets free from human feces, drug addict, and heaps of garbage?

    2. On point 3), you would think @aaronsleazy is speaking hyperbole.

      To further that point, there is recent news how British Columbia (sorta like the Canadian version of Commiefornia) has government-created heroin and fentanyl:

      And the federal government continues to stretch the eligibility of assisted suicide (the program has the in-your-face acronym “MAID”, as if it’s a nice concierge service):

    3. Clown World is so unhinged that even a mere five or six years ago the biggest edge lords would have missed the mark. Yet, this is the world we live in. Western governments literally want to kill us and anyone disputing this is either completely uninformed or not arguing in good faith.

      Your second link is the same as the first one, by the way.

    1. The article claims that according to some study, “twice as many men — about 20 % — as women between the ages of 18 and 75 never have been in a relationship”. If true, then this number must be truly staggering for younger men because inceldom was not really an issue in the past as society had kept female hypergamy in check. It also seems to be the case that there is a surplus of men in Switzerland, which would not surprise me as surely many more men than women move to Switzerland in the hope of accelerating their career. From skimming, I get the impression that this article is mainy about bashing men and their supposed deficiencies.

    2. What I found funny was the claim that men in marriages are happier and live longer. I know so many dysfunctional marriages with depressed men. It also raises the question of where this alleged statistic comes from and how it has been interpreted. Correlation doesn’t equal causation.

    3. “Correlation doesn’t equal causation.”

      I’d say you’d be spot on right here. The people that successfully get married,probably tend to generally be on the “successful” side of the spectrum. if at least only in a professional/financial sense. (plenty of you I’m sure are no stranger to the term “Losers with money”,men who get taken for a ride)

      Many (before somebody accuses me of generalizing this to ALL fellow Bachelors,not at all) of the men who fail to get married,tend to be complete losers. (where do you think the Neckbeard memes came from?) and that’s probably a greater cause of the depression and lower life expectancy than the lack of a romantic partner.

      Its also worth noting that this study is very old if I’m not mistaken. It was probably more often (but still not entirely) true at the time it was conducted. Things have obviously changed substantially since then.

    4. I wanted to clarify that I was talking about the study of married men apparently living longer lives. I believe there is a very old one about it.

      Only now did I realize you guys were talking about that German article you linked,which is new. lol.

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