I started my end-of-year fundraiser post with the tongue-in-cheek remark that many of you “deliberately do not have an expensive girlfriend or wife”. Chris asked me to clarify what constitutes an expensive girlfriend or wife and mused if this is the case when the relationship-related expenses exceed your gross income.

First of all, if your girlfriend or wife spends more than your gross income then she is not only expensive. She is ruinously expensive. However, there are women out there who do exactly that. Of course, this is not a viable long-term strategy so they try to extract as much money as possible out of you and many a blue-pilled cuck happily dips into his savings to keep his sweetheart happy. At the latest when personal bankruptcy hits, these women are gone but most men in such a situation come to their senses sooner.

If you make good money but your woman stays at home and is also relatively frugal, then those are simply the traditional roles of the sexes. Of course, you need to spend more money on food and housing, and you surely give her some pocket money, too, but this is simply the default if this is your preferred lifestyle. It would not be appropriate to call your woman expensive even though she spends more of your money than she makes, which may be zero. In contrast, an expensive girlfriend or wife is one who does not make any financial contribution to the relationship when it is expected. This is what you very often see in double-income households. It is quite often the case that the man makes more money, and the default split seems to be that the man takes care of all large expenses like housing and car payments whereas she may every once in a while pay for food delivery, but otherwise keep all her money to herself. This is an example of a pretty expensive relationship as the woman is a total leech in this scenario.

In a double-income household, a genuinely fair split would be if all relationship-based expenses were split depending on earning, i.e. if you make twice as much as she does, you should pay 2/3 of all expenses whereas she covers the remaining 1/3. If she is contributing less, then she is, strictly speaking, an expensive woman to keep. However, the default defense of women is that if your income makes it possible to upgrade your lifestyle, then you should. After all, she deserves it! However, her expenses should be based on what she could pay for herself. As a simple example, let’s say you make $80k/year and she makes $40k/year. You would be fine with renting a place for the two of you for $1.2k/month, to which she contributes $400/month. She could easily do that, given her salary. However, as you make so much more money than her, she may want to live in a nicer place, maybe one that costs you $2.5k/month. However, she may insist that her contribution should be locked in at $400/month as she could not afford a fancier place by herself.

In my experience, women who earn their own money tend to cost you a lot more than those who do not make a living themselves. The reason is that they tend to want to spend more money and if in doubt, they think that they can just access your money. Plenty of women, particularly in their first years in the workforce, save very little money. In some cases, they spend absolutely everything they make. My ex-wife seemed to have some kind of psychological aversion against saving money, so if she had some left over at the end of the month, she bought random items online. Buying clothes she never wore was one of her favorite activities it seemed. I have heard plenty of similar stories. Of course, these women may also beg their parents for money or sign up for a short-term payday loan without being aware of it. In fact, the entire buy now/pay later (BNPL), which are just camouflaged pay-day loans, seems to prey on fiscally irresponsible women. Another often ignored aspect with women who make their own money is that once they have gotten used to a certain level of spending, they tend to find it very difficult to adjust their lifestyle downwards. This is particularly relevant if she tells you that she would like to work “fewer hours”, i.e. only two days a week, or stop working altogether. She feels that she is now entitled to a certain lifestyle, so have fun with that!

If you want a short answer if your woman is expensive, then it is that almost all of them are really expensive. Perhaps paradoxically, your best bet are women who never properly entered the workforce.