I had a very interesting consultation session a few weeks ago. It centered on leaving the pickup scene behind at or perhaps slightly after your peak, and the risk of missing this window. As I have real-world friends who are in the corresponding age range, i.e. roughly their mid-30s to early 40s, this was a topic I had spent some time thinking about. I am familiar with real-life stories of guys who have missed this window, some because they did not manage to get to the point where a woman of the caliber they were interested in would want to settle down with them, but also two or three cases of guys who had been doing very well for themselves, yet kept chasing after the next thot in shiny clothing. There was always a woman around who was at least similarly attractive as the last one, until there no longer was one.
In the aforementioned consultation session, the guy I spoke to brought up Tom Torero as a negative example. This is a PUA who committed suicide at around his 40th birthday a few years ago. Tom Torero is a very good negative example. While I do not think that it is the best idea to build an identity around picking up women, and I also do not think that suicide is necessarily the inevitable conclusion if you do, this sad case nonetheless illustrates that you cannot have an external source of validation. This does not just apply to pedestalizing women. For instance, I know a former athlete who had aspirations of becoming a top-tier professional. This did not work out, and I think he briefly played in the second or third-highest soccer league in Germany. The end was that he spent too much time sitting on the bench as he was not competitive enough. Years later, he seemed to have become an alcoholic.
Moving on from the extreme cases of guys who chased women, or some other lofty goal, to the detriment of everything else, there is still a trap for guys who do not have a shot at stardom, or do not delude themselves that they do. While it is the case that you can remain competitive in the sexual market place well into your 30s, with a bit of luck in the genetic lottery, it is the case that you, too, will get older. Probably by the time you enter your early to mid-30s, any woman sizing you up will have a pretty good idea of your potential in life. If your career has languished for a decade then probably there is not a high chance that you will achieve breakout success and double your salary anytime soon. On the other hand, even very successful guys are likely quite close to their peak in their mid-30s. In fact, there are plenty of competitive careers where you can get close to the peak by your late 20s. This applies to fields like investment banking or consulting where you only get to do more of the same once you reach the rank of Managing Director or Partner, respectively. The same is true in an engineering career, where there is no up-or-out principle. In the industry, we speak of “terminal positions”, i.e. jobs at which nobody will push you to advance. However, those are also jobs from which on there is only limited upside. You can become a senior engineer within three or four years and it is entire possible that your career will completely stall at this point. Plenty of guys retire at this level.
If you get close to your peak, then your attractiveness in the dating market will not get any higher. In fact, if you think you are hot shit because you got a promotion to a senior position at 27, then perhaps this is, assuming that you want to settle down, also the time where you should make haste and lock down that hot 21-year-old who has been telling you about wanting to start a family because she has no interest in a career. The alternative is to run in place, jumping from one short-term relationship to another, while your overall sexual marketplace value first stagnates and then slowly starts to decline.
There is an off-ramp in pickup, and depending on your life circumstances, you will probably encounter it in your late 20s if there is nothing particularly remarkable about you, but only in exceptional cases will you have until your late-30s or perhaps even your early 40s. If you miss it, you may be in for a rude awakening. There is a particular tragedy unfolding there as well, if guys want to keep up their old lifestyle. This means that they keep chasing after women, but their quality gets worse and worse. For instance, a guy who used to fuck college students will pull single mothers in their 30s, and tell himself that he still got it or that these women are every bit as hot as the prime-caliber sluts he used to pull back in the day. It’s rough. There is a time at which you probably want to get out of dating, and you better not miss it.