I received the following article request:
In your Open Thread 278 there were two comments you made.
1. “…you need to be aligned on life goals and hope that
neither your nor her goals change significantly in the long run.”
2. “…have a bunch of children. This will keep her busy
until she is in her mid to late 40s, and afterwards you can
enjoy a few decades as empty nesters together.”
Would you be able to expand on these issues, providing some
My response is split in two parts.
Relationships and Life Goals
In order to enter a relationship that has any chance of making it past a few months, you need clear alignment not just on life goals but also on how you intend to get there. There are several aspects to it. Let me highlight a few.
First, you need clarity about who is going to lead and who is going to follow in the relationship. Many modern women are unable to submit to a man, thinking they should not compromise at all and that the man should follow their lead instead. This only makes sense if they are willing to financially support a man who relegates his career ambitions to an afterthought. If both want to pursue their career, it will be only a matter of time until one of them gets a job offer that entails a move. This is either the eventual end of the relationship or the beginning of the woman accusing you, whenever it is convenient for her, of having sacrificed her booming career as there were all those great opportunities she could not take because of you. The only workable model of a relationship is to have the man take the role of the leader (and breadwinner). Women will not accept a man who earns less money than them, which is a consequence of female hypergamy. This is also the reason why all those supposedly successful women in their bullshit jobs cannot find a man. Not only are they too old to be successful on the dating market, they furthermore want a man who is more successful than them.
Second, both the man and woman need clarity on what they want to get out of life. For instance, do they want to maximize their work/life balance or does the man want to see how far he can get in his career, sacrificing time spent with his family if necessary? This is not so much a sacrifice but a trade-off as any man who chooses to prioritize time spent with his family necessarily sacrifices career ambitions to some extent. This is obviously a moot point if someone is stuck in a dead-end job that do not offer any advancement at all or in a role in which it is very difficult to impossible to get ahead. Your wife needs to be willing to accept that she will see a lot less of a man who is driven by the prospect of climbing the ladder.
Third, having children is arguably the biggest issue for a lot of couples. It used to be common that women told you that they do not want to have children if they could sense that you do not want to have any. Of course, they would invariably trick you into impregnating them, either not caring at all about your feelings or believing that you will change your mind. No matter what she says now, she will very likely want to have children at some point in the future because her biological clock will keep ticking louder and louder. In that regard, my advice is that if you do not want to have children you should not even seriously date any woman. In the best case, you are only wasting your time. In the worst case, you are entering hell on earth.
Fourth, there is the issue of stability. The biggest issue with thinking that you have found the perfect woman is that she will change. Most women are incredibly fickle, changing even deeply held convictions on a whim. All it takes is that some fad reaches critical mass. This is not always bad because it led to yoga pants becoming part of street fashion. Yet, today this means that she is likely vegan, hates Trump, loves communism, endorses BLM, got vaxxed and boosted because she fucking loves science, and supports the Ukraine even though she cannot find this country on a map (soon nobody else will). Whatever the media-industrial complex throws at her she will gobble up. You should also not underestimate the impact of all her best friends. These likely change year after year, and every such peer group does not tolerate dissenting opinion. If all her friends are pregnant and she has not had a child yet, she will ride your dick raw like there is no tomorrow. Similarly, if the husbands of her best friends drive big cars or have houses they cannot afford, she will make her dissatisfaction about the standard of living you provide known. Of course, once her best friends start to get divorced, she will get a divorce lawyer too.
Lastly, I think that a relationship with a normie woman is an absolutely soul-crushing experience. The utter bullshit and stupidity you would have to deal with on a daily basis will sap all life energy out of you. Your best bet is finding a woman who is comfortable with endorsing unpopular opinions. This does not mean that she has to regurgitate right-wing talking points on Twitch to get simp bucks. Instead, the bar is quite a lot lower as all it takes is being able to question the mainstream or, even better, not taking it seriously at all.
Children Will Keep your Wife Busy (and you on the Treadmill)
The one tried-and-true method for keeping your wife busy consist of her taking care of the household and a bunch of children. With two or three kids, she will be busy for 15 to 25 years, depending on how involved she wants to be, albeit there are outliers, meaning that there are women who don’t really give a shit about their kids. They put them in front of the TV while they are looking for Chad dick on Tinder.
From a relationship perspective, children serve as glue as they are the clearest sign of maternal and paternal investment, of course assuming that she did not cuck you with Chad or Tyrone. Having kids also makes you more employable because managers like it when their underlings do not have the power to just walk away from a job. The flip-side is that men also feel that they need to better provide for the family, which may make them want to go the extra mile at work. Thus, Chad the family man may even embrace his exploitation, and the carrot his manager dangles in front of him may never have looked bigger and juicier.
Taking care of children takes a lot out of a woman, in particular if she breastfeeds. Not even the biggest club slut will have the energy to entertain the thought of lusting after other Chads. Besides, she views children as an extension of herself and this will be all her thoughts revolve around. Of course, this is clearly a very positive outcome. Just like Chad fathers find it easier to get up in the morning and head to their cubicle farms, so do (some) mothers with children develop a hitherto unknown ability to resist the lures of social media and dating apps. I should add that there are also women who show very little maternal investment. They have the kid, don’t breastfeed at all, and within six months they are back on their knees, gobbling down Tyrone’s dick. You will surely recognize such a woman if you bump into her.
For the best outcome, you should move your wife to a small town or, if possible, a remote village. Then she can fully focus on the house and the kids. If you saddle yourself with a big mortgage, you will furthermore be able to tap into a once unknown energy reserves, much to the delight of your manager. By having children, both the man and the woman make big sacrifices. However, they likely do not view them as such. This is not a perspective a single man or woman will find easy to assume, however.