Open Post · Relationships

Open Post: The Ideal Female Long-Term Mating Strategy

Alek Novy made a succinct comment on the ideal mating strategy for women. It is a warning for every professionally successful man who suddenly finds himself chased by women who previously would not have given him the time of day. He writes:

The ideal mating strategy for a woman isn’t to get an already successful guy. The ideal strategy for a woman is to get a guy who has the potential for success and catch him early.

Women who are able to recognize potential in a man get better outcomes than those who try to get men who have already achieved their potential. In that sense, an intelligent guy who hasn’t turned that intelligence into real-world success can be a great catch. He’s a discounted item that she can get at a discount and end up with a higher-level mate than otherwise.

Most women don’t do this though. Why? Because society (and biology) promotes instant-gratification among other things. You have 60 girls fighting over the guy who made it, while there’s no competition for the guy who’s about to make it. Women who manage to catch the latter while he’s still not experienced with women tend to “profit big” in the mating game.

I think Aaron has talked about guys like these in the past. They’ve been in a relationship with the same woman from before they made it in life, and don’t realize that they could have much much better than her. And such a woman will make sure the guy doesn’t know. Examples include things like high-earning engineers who never had a single girlfriend before their first girlfriend, and don’t realize they’re much more of a catch now, than they were before they got with her. She got them “at a discount”.

That’s why you’ll notice (at least I have)… a lot of experienced conniving women hunting for techy guys. Like she’ll bang dozens of chads, and then at then at least year of university throw herself at some dude with good grades/future in IT.

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10 thoughts on “Open Post: The Ideal Female Long-Term Mating Strategy

  1. That’s how “assholes” are made: guy liked a woman, she fucked him over, he improved and now fucks over women in a revenge trip. Result: “Wh€r€ ArE aLL GoOd M€N GoN€?”

  2. “They’ve been in a relationship with the same woman from before they made it in life, and don’t realize that they could have much much better than her. And such a woman will make sure the guy doesn’t know. ”

    Many guys keep these girls because they were there before they got the money. I got my wife before I started making big money and I stick with her precisely because I know that I can trust her and she isn’t with me just for the money. You can get a better-looking woman, sure, but you will never know if she is just a gold digger or not. Once you start making serious money, you care more about surrounding yourself with people that you know you can trust and tend to keep around those that were there before you started making big money; think LeBron James and his wife/friends.

    1. That’s different though. It only sounds similar, but very different situation.

      The key differentiating factor is ignorance vs wisdom and choice vs perceived lack of choice. These guys are only with such a chick because they have no idea what they can get, due to lack of experience. They don’t know they have a choice, because it’s the only girl who ever showed interest in them, and everyone other chick rejected them.

      *I didnt mention looks btw. I said better women, not “better looking” women.

      The situation where you stick with a good quality woman because she was there for you and stuck with you through the rough times until you made it. Completely different thing.

      You’re a very experienced guy who knows exactly what you can get and how and in what way. You know you have a choice. It’s a choice you make out of wisdom, not ignorance.

    2. One way to tell the difference is if the woman did it in a conniving way.

      Like I saw plenty of these chicks who made it a mission to get a “guy with future in IT” for example.

      They didn’t care who. It’s just a guy who fits the job description and grade average.

      They will ussually throw themselves at anyone who meets the general description. No sexual attraction, just a task to mark off of a checklist. And they just get married with the first mark who falls for it. The mark is delusional and thinks he was especially chosen and recognized by this former slut who now fell in love with a dork. Not realizing she would have settled with whoever fell for it first.

    3. Alek Novy is very sensitive to this not-so-subtle difference.
      This is a comment that I found a while ago. It was posted in the comment section of a Vietnamese song on youtube. I wish to offer a sketchy translation, since my translation skills are still at an infancy stage:

      Vietnamese: “Nhìn cảnh cô gái vừa ăn mì tôm vừa khóc, nước mắt mình lại tự nhiên chảy dài. 22 Tuổi Mình đã từng gặp một cô gái hết lòng vì mình như vậy. Ngay cả những giây phút đen tối nhất trong sự nghiệp của một thằng đàn ông, cô ấy vẫn không bỏ mình, luôn bên cạnh động viên, khóc cùng mình, khổ cùng mình, đói no cùng mình cho dù có rất nhiều người sẵn sàng cho cô ấy một cuộc sống sung túc hơn khi đó. Và rồi Mình đã cố gắng từng ngày từng ngày để đến hôm nay, cô ấy cùng một thiên thần nhỏ đang nằm ngủ ngon lành trong vòng tay bình yên của mình :). Cảm ơn vợ vì đã cùng anh đồng cam cộng khổ trong suốt những năm tháng qua. Tương lai dẫu có nhiều sóng gió, chỉ cần hai chúng ta luôn chung hướng, thì mọi khó khăn chắc chắn rồi cũng sẽ ở lại phía sau! <3 Hãy luôn trân trọng người phụ nữ ở bên lúc bạn khó khăn nhất nhé! Đừng đánh mất… Vì đó, chính là cuộc đời của bạn!"

      English: When I see that girl who is crying while eating shrimp instant noodle, my tears suddenly rolls down on my face. 22 years old, I have met a girl who has so wholeheartedly devoted to me. Even during those darkest hours of a man’s career, she still didn’t leave me. She was still around to offer emotional support to me, to cry with me, to undergo torments with me, to endure hardship with me (1), despite the fact that there are many other men who are willing to offer her a more fulfilling life. And so I have been striving, day by day, until she is peacefully sleeping with a little angel (his children) in my arms. Thank you for having been going through the ebb and flow of life with me during all those years. Although many challenges are awaiting us ahead, as long as we are still joining hands together (2), all difficulties will surely be behind us. Please treasure the woman who stands by you in time of hardship, don’t lose her, for she is your life.

      (1) The original is “đói no”, which literally means “hungry and full”, meaning that “she endures hunger and satiety with me.”
      (2) The original is “chung hướng”, which literally means they are facing at the same direction, which could be translated as "staying side by side with each other." But then you can stay side by side with each other, with the man facing in one direction while the woman facing the other. So I don't think this is a satisfying translation, hence my choice above.

      I have to say that this quality of choosing you even when you have nothing but empty hands, is the most precious virtue that a woman can have, of course among others.

      I am deeply moved by this very article of Assanova:

      It's a vacuous world, the world of drinking, binging, wild sex, ONS, flings. What is it good for? That's why I abandon the hope of getting laid left and right (not possible for me anyway).

      I waiting for Sleazy's book on relationship. I have already bought Minimal Game, but for me that book is of paramount importance. Hopefully he could muster all of his experience and intellectual power to make it a masterpiece so that men like me can benefit from it.

    4. And that is why it is stupid to get married without a pre-nup. I had a girl try to trap me once. Absolutely went ballistic when I left her. She started showing up at my apartment unexpectedly and eventually said that she wish she would have gotten pregnant by me so she could have gotten money from me. Funny thing about it is that an IT guy did end up getting her pregnant and he left her because she got fat. I dodged a bullet with that one.

  3. Speaking about female mating strategies, I came across this interesting video on a subject that has been talked and discussed about with derision ad infinitum in places like this. A black nationalist type of guy has two famous couples on this video, where there is a While male and Black female celebrity couple and there is a White female Black male celebrity couple and he asks them questions about how they deal with their relationships.

    It’s interesting how Linday Vonn, a famous athlete has been linked to non-white, mostly black-dark skinned men so far up to this point and she has also modeled and everything. Is she with her current black boyfriend because she knows she is approaching the wall and will become a nobody without the spotlight and has gone with this guy as a last resort option?

    1. i’m sorry the previous video is the wrong video, please delete if you can, here is the right video again Sleazy and everyone else what do you think of this?

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