I recently did some amusing brainstorming, the results of which I am happy to share on here. In short, in this blog post you’ll learn how to fuck whores for less money and greater lulz while becoming a better friend to your bros. For context, as many a successful bachelor has found out, the ratio money/lay is the most favorable for escorts. Even if you get laid with relative ease from online or club game, the amount of time you put in can be quite staggering. You’d have to value your time at zero to make a pull from some chick from the club cheaper than paying an escort for half an hour. Of course, I am not talking about that one night where you rolled up and pulled some chick after half an hour. Instead, look at the many hours plus time plus money you spend in a month or a year, on everything: clothes, cover charge, drinks, taxi rides. If you just look at your expenses, it’s a really bad deal. (This reasoning does not apply if you enjoy going to clubs.)

If you want to fuck a lot, and you only want to fuck, the keen eye of an accountant would reveal that your only plausible option is paying for sex directly, assuming you live in a country in which prostitution is legal. You bang a steady stream of whores and the cost is predictable. You know what you pay for and how much it will cost you. Yet, with a bit of an entrepreneurial spirit, you can cut down your expenses. I’m not talking about haggling with those whores, hoping to get some kind of pay-for-nine-fucks-get-ten package deal. Instead, think bigger!

Have you ever watched some online porn and wondered why there is some relatively mediocre-looking dude getting his duck sucked by tons of whores? There are several scripted reality series where the constants are the male lead and the scenario. You’ll see guys doing ‘porn auditions’ with nubile women or working as taxi drivers, yet constantly picking up female passengers who are short on cash and thus want to use their body as barter. I recall an early series where some dude had women visit in his apartment. The theme was that he ran ads in which he was looking for calendar models. Somehow, the plot quickly moved from the girls posing to that dude getting his dick sucked. Despite what some of you may think, none of this is real, not in the slightest. Those women were all paid for sex because, in the industrialized world, you need a ‘model release’ to use footage of another person. You can’t just film some slut sucking your dick and sell those videos online. Well, you could, but the law would not look kindly upon you if you did.

If you wanted to tap into the stream of whores you see on screen, you have to scale up your operation. Instead of being yet another whoremonger, you’re now Whoremongers LLC. That’s right, you set up a limited company and you pay those whores for scenes! Prices have absolutely cratered in recent years, thanks to the proliferation of porn online. From what I hear, you can get a whore for 400 Euros per scene nowadays, which is only a modest mark-up over the typical cost. Part of the reason it’s so cheap is that escorts use porn as advertising.

As an added bonus, because you’re now running a proper business, your expenses for fucking whores are now tax-deductible. Pornhub pays out around $0.70 per 1,000 views, so if just a few videos of those cock-sucking whores get traction. Of course, you turn one scene into dozens of videos due to cuts and various angles. You can also sell HD clips for a few bucks. In consequence, you can finance part of your fucking with ads. You may even end up getting paid to fuck whores.

When you watch some of those fake-amateur porn videos online, you’ll see that the guys are, as mentioned, hardly ever good-looking. They just pay for those women, and they get sex in return. It did not happen that some porn mogul scouted for a bog-standard looking dude, asking, “Hey, want to get your dick sucked on camera?” Instead those dudes just did what I outlined above. They started their own company. I bet that this is the most common way for a straight male to end up in porn because 99.99% of men just aren’t born with the genes of Johnny Sins.

Cost of equipment is not an issue for your operation. In this day and age, entire movies are shot with iPhones. Acclaimed director Steven Soderbergh has shot several feature movies with iPhones. That dude has won more than a handful of Oscars. If iPhones work for him, they will certainly work for the fine proprietors of Whoremongers LLC, who go for more of an amateur-angle anyway. You don’t need a studio either. Instead, you’re filming in a spare room in your apartment, your garage, backyard, or anywhere else. If everything fails, you can use your car or get a truck. As long as you live in or near a big city, the logistics should be very easy to handle as the issue will be getting the whores to come to you. If you live in, say, Berlin or London or Prague, I bet you’d have a hard time setting up shoots with all of the available whores before they hit the wall, and by that time, there is an entirely new batch available already.

The finances, as described so far, may not seem too appealing to you yet as there is an element of risk. Yet, you probably have a few male friends who also like to fuck whores. If you split the 400 Euro whoring fee with three or four guys, you’re quickly moving to bargain basement prices. She gets paid per scene, so she’ll just take a few more dicks. It’s a win-win situation for all dudes involved. I don’t think you’d break even with this approach, but it would be great to do just for the lolz. Heck, if I was single and lived in a country in which whoring was legal, I’d be tempted to do it myself. Furthermore, if I pulled out my phone and showed some porn clip to a friend, asking if he’d like to fuck her for 80 Euros, I bet I’d have no shortage of friends.

This was a quick sketch of how I’d set up an amateur porn company. If you decide to do this yourself then please let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear from you.

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