Meeting Women · Men

You are not Missing Out if you’re a Late Bloomer

I used to not pursue women until I was in my late 20s, which was by choice. I simply viewed them as an unpleasant distraction as well as a time and money sink. Instead, I was much happier going my own way and pursuing other interests. In the long run, this all worked out splendidly for me. When I finally decided to go after women, I did not have the impression that I had been missing out on much. Besides, had I pursued women in my late teens or early 20s, I would most likely not have done nearly as well with them, the main reason being that I didn’t have my own place. Also, I grew up in an exceedingly conservative area, so in the worst case, I would have gotten tied down to some average woman early in life. Thankfully, I did not step through those gates of hell.

Living in London and Berlin later, I suddenly had access to an enormous pool of women, and one that was far superior to any I had seen before, not just quantitatively. That I was a few years older did not seem to matter to the many women in their teens and early 20s I hooked up with. My experience is in no way unique. It boils down to there always being a new batch of 18-year-olds. Thus, you get older, but your attractiveness to the opposite sex does not dwindle all that quickly, meaning that you will have a fairly long time window to pursue them.

This reality hit me again when I went to an open-air music event with a friend of mine in Berlin last week. There were a few women there who reminded me a lot of women I’ve been with, due to physical features, mannerisms, or sense of fashion. I got older, yet there were younger version of women I knew all around me. Two had an almost uncanny resemblance. Funnily enough, I also bumped into a woman I knew back in the days. Now she’s in her mid-30s and a mere shadow of her former self. I could not even bring myself to say hi to her.

If you are fretting about all the women you missed out hooking up with, don’t despair! There are still out there. You’ll just get the latest version, then. You’ll get women of a similar caliber, i.e. your ‘league’, for a very long time. That is beautifully illustrated by a friend of mine who is nearing 40, but in very good shape, physically and professionally. He does not want to settle down yet, and he has high standards. Without any smugness he’ll tell you that he only dates women between the ages of 18 to 22. The only thing he has noticed over the years is that he’s been getting fewer of them (he jokes that this is an advantage as he’s gotten busier over the years anyway). Time will simply grind all of us down. Yet, like a trooper he keeps going after women and he still has far more sex than the average guy and with better-quality women.

All of this may sound a bit abstract to you, so let me conclude with a comparison. Let’s say you like mainstream video games, i.e. sports games, first-person shooters, and open-world collectathons. You buy a few of these a year and get a solid number of hours out of them. Then, for whatever reason, you drop the hobby for a few years. However much you think you are missing out on, the reality is the exact opposite. Whenever you return to that hobby, you can just jump in right away. You could, of course, play the various iterations of the games you skipped, which would be like banging women past their prime, or you could get the latest versions of Call of Duty and FIFA Soccer. The games won’t go away. It’s the same with women. They will be there. It will take decades until your prospects noticeably decline.


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8 thoughts on “You are not Missing Out if you’re a Late Bloomer

  1. Whenever I look at my two younger brothers and guys that I grew up with who all settled down straight out of highschool, I thank the heavens that I was too awkward to get laid until around my mid twenties.

  2. I am 23 and this post resonates with me.

    I know I am not supposed to settle but almost did with a relationship lasting 2 years with a depressed girl. Now 1 year later after breaking up with her my career has been growing, physically I am in much better shape and mentally/emotionally I am in a much better place. I notice a lot of peers turn to drinking, going out frequently and attempting to get laid as the first thing after break-ups rather than focusing on building a foundation for their life and then reaping the fruits.

    Since getting my shit together in first half-year post break up, I fucked 5 new girls over the next half-year (up until recently) and was casually seeing some of them and I realise that most girls are uninteresting, have no ambition and are a huge time sink that could be better spent on career and achieving my goals. Especially the 20-22 year old “I am a feminist and I am oppressed” Scandinavian stereotype is horrible company to keeå.

    I know for a fact that I have a nice career track, that I will only become more physically attractive over the next years and I have not even hit my peak yet.

    So why bother settling down with anyone when my options will be 10x better in the future?

  3. Love the content you put.

    I feel like this article is written about me . I am sure my best years are still ahead of me. I am 27 and never had any serious relationship. But with comparison to some men and most women my age I am going better and better 😉

  4. i am 29 and still too awkward to get laid lol,
    i just cant bring myself to spend energy on this especially since my lms is low. i have very low stress
    chicks are incredibly annoying to deal with.

    1. “low stress threshold ” and gym is increasing my stress so i probably will remain incel for life. lmao

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