For some women you are a mark

My previous post on women who “forget” taking the pill was a specific example of a more general phenomenon, which some of you may be familiar with: women who want to suck you dry, but not in the good way.

Here is an example that is representative for the pattern. There was a girl I occasionally hung out with in Berlin, but on a platonic level. She was one of those girls who claimed to not fuck outside of relationships, so she would only become available once she had decided to dump her boyfriend. However, this only happened when the next guy was lined up already. In my case, the problem (?) was twofold. I was not interested in a relationship. Even worse was that my sexual interest in her had disappeared because I had known her for quite a while.

She was fairly outgoing, but not exactly slutty. At one point she realized that she was about to graduate, and then I noticed a rather peculiar change. Suddenly, she wanted to look “proper”. She wasn’t particularly amused when I asked her whether she was alright, as I was used to seeing her with her hair open, and wearing tight tops. I bumped into her again a few months later. The first thing she told me was that she was now “dating an engineer”. She had just graduated with some bullshit humanities degree. This seemed like convenient timing for her. I recalled her fawning over bad boys, but now the first thing she mentions about the guys she is seeing is that he is actually employable.

That wasn’t all, though. She was about to move in with him, despite only having known each other for a few weeks. I couldn’t help myself and cynically congratulated her for finally finding a way to make a living, which caused her to hit my biceps (hit like a girl), then apologizing and rubbing my arm. While that was going on, she said that she had met him “before he had any money”, i.e. before graduation, or before he received his first salary. This was an excellent example of chick logic, because it is quite obvious that it was just a matter of time before he would be able to draw a nice paycheck month after month.

But where am I going with this? Well, it’s quite simple. Even though I wouldn’t necessarily say that every woman who picks a guy because of his financial status does not care for him, it is certainly the case that women can be very calculating. This may mean picking a guy who makes a decent living because this would put them on easy street. They are probably not repulsed by those guys, but the main reason they chose their providers was presumably not “love”. In particular, when a woman boast about the status of her boyfriend or husband, I have my doubts about that.

Gold-digging, particularly when it is being done somewhat under the radar, constitutes fully acceptable behavior for women. If you are financially stable, in relation to her, you are a potential mark. Is there any outrage about that? Of course not. Yet, guys who pump and dump women, or who state that once a woman turns 35 she has to “check out”, are supposed to be despicable.

21 thoughts on “For some women you are a mark

  1. I can attest to this fact. When I was a nerd at college no more than few girls were interested in me. Needless to say they were nerds as well and therefore marveled at my ability to memorize things quickly and remember them literally forever. (well, almost) But when I started to make money, all the people around me in college reunion parties were women. Some had even got married but that didn’t seem to matter. Some of the other guys had six packs and shit, but I with no six pack was suddenly worth talking to them. I can also attest to the fact that its relatively poor women who does this. Stressing on the word relatively.

  2. Everyone uses each other in one way or another. Aaron, what’s your point? Why are you so bitter about women? They’re just human beings like everyone else. We’re all sluts in the modern world. Most of us at least.

    I’ve been reading your blog for many years now and although I admit it’s quite interesting at times and thought provocative when it comes to some gender issues, it would nevertheless be interesting to know where all this mysogyny comes from.

    I might be wrong about the mysogyny but there always seems to be this hateful tone to your posts especially when you talk about women. Do you have mommy issues?

    I encourage you to broaden your horizons when exploring these themes in future posts. You can still dilute the pollution when it comes to the manosphere but why not express positive hope now and then. We already have Hilary and Trump causing enough hatred and finger pointing.

    It all feels so low-level to me.

    We can do better than this.

    I love pussy.

    I think women are fascinating creatures.

    I also love science and philosophy. Rational inquiry into the nature of reality.

    I hope you don’t take this as an attack on you personally since I know your name is just a pseudonym.

    1. Hi Skeptic
      What should a woman’s point of view on career be, if you were to consider her for family material?

    2. Assuming Sleazy has posted “misogynistic” pieces – of course anything negative about women’s behaviour = misogyny – well I guess we should stop but ONLY after grrrrl power, leftist hypocrisy and misandry end.

      Go to any MSM site like yahoo, etc., and its.a.never ending onslaught of “women are infallible while men are pigs”.

      Besides Sleazy is just writing his observations…perhaps women are self undermining with their behaviour.

    3. I don’t view this as spreading misogony. The problem is that our culture keeps men blind while blaiming guys for literally everything at the same time.

      A lot of men need to read what sleazy is saying and then they can start making their own judgements based on their own experience. My eyes have opened a lot since working in a gym and reading Sleazy’s post.

      If you take the behavior of the girl in the story above, then it shouldn’t take you long as to wonder why some women bang guys in secret. Some say it’s because of slut shaming, but it’s usually because they don’t want to upset the guys who might be great relationalship material. After all, if you had to wait 6 months for sex but find out she sucked some guy after barely knowing him, would you still be interested?

      The funny thing though is that while I went through a period of being bitter, I can now look at it from a much different perspective. I’ve used it to gain insight on what women I should avoid and I’ll never be as naive. I’ve seen how women can present a nicely public image and be a cocksucker in private.

    4. Pretty much. When Aaron writes on gender dynamics he mostly touches on issues which afflicts males with excellent earning potential but who are sexually/socially inexperienced. Those guys are at risk of underselling themselves on sexual market and even being financially raped during divorce proceedings.

      That aside, what I find annoying about our troll here is that he can’t delineate what is written from his assumptions.
      Aaron never claimed men as a group are morally superior. He also doesn’t blame women for everything but describes very specific conflict between genders about which you can’t read in mainstream media.

      Women generally want good-looking sexually aggressive guy (aka badboy) but they also want financial stability. Therefore some of them marry a good earner and then satiate the lust for former by having affairs.
      Although I personally think whether woman will cheat depends more on her personality than if her husband/BF is good looking badboy but right now that is beside the point.

    5. I’ve noticed that aaron’s posts got bitter and my bullshit alarm goes off sometimes, too. But both guys in the story are idiots, the girl and the engineer guy.

      But I think the guy doesn’t care, I’ve studied engineering and for most of those dudes it’s either paying for an escort or paying for a wife or don’t have sex at all. I guess he is even happy about the situation, for most nerd types guys it’s easier to make money and attract women that way, than going out and chase them in clubs.

      You have to go where your talent is. If you’re 6 feet tall, handsome and build it may be better to go the “game” way. If you’re a small framed skinny average nerd guy with a huge brain it’s better to go the money way. Not just better, it’s flat out dumb to act like a model, when you look like a little troll.

      That’s something that I realised. My appearance is not very impressive, but I can get status with my skills fairly easy.

  3. This has always happened at university, women will go university to find a husband who has good prospects(often pushed by their parents to do so). In a way, university and their fees is like paying a matchmaker for their daughter. this does happen a lot for the South and East Asians.

    Women who are on crap degrees, go hunting for guys on technical or degrees that will lead to jobs (engineering, medicine etc). Most of these women will try and get good combination of hot and good prospects, but must women will not get a chance. They will go for guys who are gullable, lacking in experience of world and women. Thus can easily manipulate and dominate. A lot of these women will basically have man act like they are married, do whatever she wants, while she will do what she wants (party with out him, sleep around with fun no propsect guys etc) while her boyfriends waits around or does homework.

    There are women who will not do this, and these are the ambitious ones most likely on tough degree courses who want a career, likely believe in fighting for women rights etc etc. These are the ones that will look for the perfect guy or use their degree to get into company or environment with better eligble men.

    Outside of university, women who work in dead beat jobs (ie retail) or in poor financing situations, will obviously go for guys with more money and will try and play them. Think of the women that sleep with famous sports stars and try anf get pregnant. Thus why, guys go out with other famous stars (models) who have some to risk if trying to blackmail them with pregnancy.

    Also women who work in low paid, low career prsopects in big companies, will do their best to get hitched by someone higher up the career ladder, and try and get out of their job. This is the opposite with women who are in those high career/paying roles, they dont want to lose their career and money, unless thye find a bigger fish and tired of it all.

    Although sometimes, women cannot get out of the job game, cause they too have to make up the money for expenses(mortgages etc) which the guy cannot alone.

    Even going out with women, when I had no career I was just a one off thing, when I was a teacher then it was more serious, now as a software dev at a big company women will do all sorts to get my attention. Thats why I never talk about job in detail and always stick a condom on even if she is on the pill.

    This is just from experience of seeing this being played out all the time at uni and work

  4. When I first arrived at university, I met a girl at a party who mentioned that she, like most of the girls in her dorm were going for her MRS degree. In retrospect, this was a prescient statement. Likewise, have you ever noticed how many successful male actors end up having kids with women they were not even in relationships with? Usually, the mothers were “models” or whatever, but it is a safe bet that these women see this as their best career move.

  5. You guys seem to get some kind of primitive joy by blaming women for all your problems. It sounds like some of you just need to find some love. As I said, they are just human beings trying to survive in this crazy world. I sometimes feel like I’m reading the blog of some prison inmate with all his followers. Feminism is a silly idea just as this whole backlash against it. I have no idea why someone would waste so much energy on that.

    Growing up as a hot girl and being treated like that for one’s whole life probably tends to skew behaviour towards all kind of abhorrent directions. Not to mention if you’re NOT a hot girl.

    I prefer to just relate to them all as individuals and try to see past all that cultural bullshit. I would love to know how you guys talk about these themes in real life when there are actual women at the table. Do you have any female friends? Your mother and sisters are also women in case you forgot. And daughters if you ever have them. I’m guessing most of the readers here don’t.

    Here’s a question you might want to ask yourself: what is your ideal woman? And what kind of society would we need for that kind of girl to exist? What kind of upbringing would this require? Are you living in accordance with those kinds of values?

    I just got out of a three year relationship a few months ago with a girl who has been treated like a princess her whole life (yes she was pretty hot). I did my best to bring her back to earth. Not sure if I succeeded and although I was bitter and angry after the breakup, I’m starting to see a bigger picture emerge:

    All of us are fucked up and broken. Most men are pigs, I think they’re disgusting. And women can certainly be evil cunts. Am I a saint? Hell no.

    There’s no one to blame nor is it wise to blame others for blaming us. I say we take some responsibility and change the world. Lets build a society where women and men have the same rights. Doesn’t mean we are equal, we will never be. I think egalitarianism is the way to go.

    1. Oh, the mangina brigade is back! To make this even more fun, would you mind elaborating on the “rights” that discriminate against women?

    2. Do you have any female friends?

      I only have ONE male friend. All my other friends are female… whatcha gonna do about that punk…

  6. Aaron, what makes you think I’m part of the mangina brigade? Feminists think women are superior to men. I don’t. I think I made that clear in my posts above. I certainly don’t hold women up on a pedestal if that’s what you think. I’m curious what made you think I did? It seems you took what I wrote a little too personally based on your condescending remarks. You seem to suffer from quite a superioriority complex. Again, I wonder what kind of conversationalist you are in real life. Perhaps that’s why you hid behind the facade so you can say things you would never say face to face. Not that it’s relevant to the topic at hand.

    To answer your question about rights that discriminate against women, all you have to do is look at all the muslims in europe and elsewhere to see what that looks like. I was once on a tram and asked a muslim women why she is wearing a burka. She didn’t reply. I told her she is disrespecting her and every other woman around her. Aaron, do you think women should be covered up?

    Based on my research (although this is not my expertise), it seems we lived in a much more egalitarian society before the dawn of agriculture which is when we started oppressing women, animals, etc. We are also much more in tune with nature itself. I don’t subscribe to the nature=good fallacy but I think we can still learn from the past.

    Don’t get me wrong I have as little tolerance as any of you for some of the shit that women do or if they blurt out comments like “all men don’t listen” and other nonsense. But I don’t consider it a gender problem, I think it’s just stupidity and lack of critical thinking skills.

    Alek, good for you with all the female friends. I’m not a punk nor do I like punk music and if I was or did, I wouldn’t do anything about it.

    So do you guys disagree with egalitarianism? Or are you saying that women have some kind perverse sense of false entitlement? It’s not clear to me what the over-riding argument is because the posts are quite short and seem to just attack different subsets of female behaviour.

    Thanks for the discussion. I hope you don’t mind the slight criticism I’m throwing your way.

    1. I think the mangina assessment comes from your line “Most men are pigs, I think they’re disgusting.”

      Egalitarianism – u already have that with mandated representation on boards and hiring. Plus universities have more than 50% female representation.

      You can also look to Scandinavia for your egalitarian nirvana. It’s so egalitarian you can fly your ISIS flag in Sweden. Woo-hoo!

  7. Geert, you asked:

    “if you had to wait 6 months for sex but find out she sucked some guy after barely knowing him, would you still be interested?”

    I would never allow myself to be in such a position. Either we have sex within the first few weeks or I move on. Or if I do keep her around longer, I’m fucking other girls until I have sex with her.

    “The funny thing though is that while I went through a period of being bitter, I can now look at it from a much different perspective. I’ve used it to gain insight on what women I should avoid and I’ll never be as naive. I’ve seen how women can present a nicely public image and be a cocksucker in private.”

    True but I would say that about men also. Again, I don’t why all this hate towards women when men are just as bad. Do you guys disagree with that? I’m still unclear on your position. You seem to insinuate that there is some kind of gender war going on. I don’t buy it. It’s just humans at war with each other and with ourselves. The male/female thing or masculine/feminine polarity is a false dichotomy.

    1. The reason why you only see women’s bad behavior being mentioned here is because it’s a dating website for heterosexual men.

      I’m verry well aware that men can be pigs as well, but who’s flaws are mostly highlighted in our media? What you’re seeing right now is a growing number of men who are waking up and realizing how they’re being screwed over. When you mention cheating, it’s usually the image of a guy that pops up.

      I do feel that there is a “gender war” going on, but i wouldn’t refer to it as that. On my tv there are programs like “help my husband does chores around the house” or women gladly make claims like “how men are a few years behind on women”. Now, if I would state the following: a tv show with the title “help my wife is having a carreer and doesn’t want to cook anymore”, can you guess the reactions?

      Or women saying how they enjoy certain traditional behavior in men (no problem with that). But when a guy would say that he prefers certain traditional behavior in women, It’s this entire double standard that is becoming more and more obvious. I havn’t even mentioned positive discrimination for women.

      Once again I don’t view this article as negative or hate towards women. It just describes and shows how cunning some women can be when trying to trick a guy. This is shit you better be aware off.

      Besides you’re response is the exact same response when the left gets confronted with people of different ethnic background committing crime. When you mention this it’s not racist to point out, neither is it sexist to point out how cunning some women can be. You just realize this and when you meet a women, you use it to judge her behavior. That’s really it, now please tell me what’s so bad about that?

      And for a guy who wants to spread hate, he even mentions that there is no shame in that behavior:

      Gold-digging, particularly when it is being done somewhat under the radar, constitutes fully acceptable behavior for women. If you are financially stable, in relation to her, you are a potential mark. Is there any outrage about that? Of course not. Yet, guys who pump and dump women, or who state that once a woman turns 35 she has to “check out”, are supposed to be despicable.

      All he does is point out the double standard.

    1. Denny: When you go out with a young girl like Sarah you have only one thing to offer. MONEY! She can find younger better-looking guys. Better lovers, guys with more interest in common. What you have is power. I actually begin my dates by putting cash right on the table.”

      Alan Shore: “And that works?”

      Denny Crane: “With the hookers, it does.”

  8. “But where am I going with this? Well, it’s quite simple. Even though I wouldn’t necessarily say that every woman who picks a guy because of his financial status does not care for him, it is certainly the case that women can be very calculating. ”

    While there’s nothing objectionable about the fact that women attempt to pick men due to their financial current success or future potential, it is certainly not very appealing to those guys who later find out that their wives might have slept around much more than they do. If a girl has maintained herself well and did not have a wild sexual history, the guy might not mind her to have a couple (1-4) boyfriends before.

    I usually advise my friends, when circumstance allows me, that they should lengthen the times of meeting one particular chick just to get a feeling about who she is (get to know her friends, looking out for anecdotes in her circle, investigating her facebook and twitter accounts, finding out about her past boyfriends, investing her family history). They should write down their questions in a paper and look for ways to answer them properly. Meanwhile, if a girl constantly pushes him for early commitment (even before sex happens), this is a very bad sign, he should be absolutely careful.

    This is only to guys who have no experience and don’t like to socialize very much, and do not have much social and life experience.

    For those who are naturally perverts in disguise, well, after their graduation they usually find way to “celebrate” it anyway (with escorts) or going out dating chicks.

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