In addition to my sexual exploits with women in real life I also have a parallel track of sexual pay-to-play, i.e. “pay sex”, i.e. prostitution, going on. This parallel psychosexual arrangement (with some overlaps of occasional “A/B testing” between real life and the pay sex world) has been going on for some twenty years now. And being the stickler that I am I also kept logging all of my sexual encounters in a spreadsheet file right from the start – which serves as a handy way of keeping things in perspective and after twenty years it’s also a welcome device to refresh some of my nice, juicy memories from past days.

So, with the old year going out and the new year coming in I was to regularly update my spreadsheet anyway, and out of curiosity I performed some statistical analysis on the data this time. Among other insights I found out that e. g. over a period of 10 years I had spent a grand total of about 13,000 units of fiat Euro currency on illusion-free, pure sex with delicious whores. This surprised me because subjectively it had seemed like I had spent even twice as much dough on it, along with my sex encounters in real life. (Here I have to add that I reside in Germany and that most of those pay sex experiences took place in German speaking countries. In those countries prostitution is legal and regulated. For perspective, in Germany proper at a reputable venue one hour of quality sex with some perks included would have set you back between EUR 120 – 160 in the first decade of 2000. Nowadays with inflation the rate for one delicious hour is billed at around EUR 200 – 250. And of course – as with everything regarding women – the $ky is the limit.)

One of my tongue-in-cheek-jokes about pay sex is that “sexual variety is higher than with many affairs, it’s much more satisfying than most regular marriages and cheaper than any divorce!” This is to provoke a strong reaction of course and tickle some peoples prejudices, but I hadn’t expected my data to so clearly confirm the proverbial assessment. And this money got burned for mostly super attractive hot girls, at good venues or from good escort agencies, and for pleasant encounters lasting between half an hour and three hours. 13k for 10 years may seem quite low, and of course, I didn’t overstimulate myself with this kind of sexual treat in order to keep each encounter as fresh and invigorating as possible for me. There were long stretches of time without any pay sex activity, where the memories generated from past encounters kept me happy and I would have encountered women in real life anyway, and that was OK for me. On the other hand there were also periods of time where I was fucking two or three different whores a day for several days per week.

I am not and have never been married (yet). But I have many married couples as friends. And since most whores will openly confirm, that the overwhelming group of customers in pay sex is composed of married, hard-working, middle-class men, let’s perform a quick comparison of the average middle-class marriage with a comfortable baseline in life full of easily available women and a high variety of super hot sexual encounters, and focus our considerations on the plight of this very group of men.

For this I am going to refer to statistical data by the German federal office of statistics (“Statistisches Bundesamt”). The data for English speaking countries may differ in some aspects but my uninformed guess is, that the trends for Western countries (i.e. being part of the “American empire”) are more or less the same:

• German statistical figures tell us that for the past 25 years the average age of spouses whose marriage got divorced lies between 41 – 48 years for men and 38 – 44 years for women.
• The average duration of a marriage was between 13 – 15 years.
• And the percentage of divorces in relation to the total of marriages within a year was 37% in 2000, with a peak of 42% in 2004 and from there on a steady, slow decline until the year 2023 with 27% of all marriages ending in a divorce.
• We also know from comparable data, that about 2/3 – i. e. the majority of divorces in our times are initiated by women.
• And we know that, prenuptial agreements notwithstanding, it is women who legally and financially profit from a divorce, whereas it is mostly men who suffer, and often quite substantially so.
• The average cost of the legal procedures for a divorce (court procedures, divorce attorneys etc. pp.) in Germany is billed at around EUR 2,000 for each spouse.
• Feminist precepts are fine and dandy, but since men are the main breadwinners even still in modern day marriages, it is men that have to carry the main burden of paying monthly alimonies to their divorced kids (in German: “Unterhaltszahlungen”), monthly financial support to their now divorced wife (“Zugewinnausgleich”) and also monthly pay for closing the payment gap in their ex-wife’s state-funded retirement fund payments (“Versorgungsausgleich”). Let’s assume that the total of all of those monthly payments for a middle-class divorced husband amounts to roughly EUR 1,500 per month (a conservative estimate).

Now let’s assume that newly divorced hubby has to pay the monthly support for his now estranged wife and kids for 10 – 15 years. This would amount to a total of between EUR 180,000 to 270,000. A substantial amount of money! (Of course here we are not factoring in any additional costs for finding a new place to stay, having to sell any real estate property previously owned, maybe getting unemployed etc.)

The statistical probability that such a devastating situation might hit a middle-class married man is between 30 – 40 %. And in most of those cases it’s not even due to his own initiative! Does this on the other hand mean, that your regular not-to-be-divorced marriage is a “happy” one? Probably not. Of course marriage will always entail some sort of sacrifice, cooperation, compromise and out of this at best mutual growth. And there is good reason why this has to be the case.

Still many married men I personally know live in sex-less marriages where the wife has completely emasculated her husband. Such a situation can have many reasons, which we will not discuss here. Suffice to say that most married men are rather sexually unfulfilled and often cannot risk to actively voice their protest against this suffocating kind of arrangement, lest their wife may divorce them as a consequence! And even if he gets some sex crumbs by getting to fuck his wife every blue moon or so, it is usually uninspired and boring non-passionate intercourse, merely one further chore for her to get done and over with. Most likely his once cute and attractive girlfriend-turned-wife put some kilos of weight and looks now more like a whale or a walrus anyway. All of this is akin to domestic psychological terror and sexual starvation. Apparently many wives move their husbands into the friend zone and are quite content to not have sex with them any longer. This is no situation for any hot-blooded man with a spine to endure (and movies like “American Beauty” gleefully poke fun at the expense of such castrated men).

When such a frustrated and suffocated husband turns his attention to sex provided by prostitutes he has in all relevant aspects to be very secretive about it, since this could trigger his wife to cast him into divorcentration camp hell. And on top of all the money which he has to provide for his family anyway, he still has to pay the fee for a whore – if there is even any money to burn left for him.

In contrast a non-married man has to invest comparatively small(-ish) amounts of money to guarantee him somewhat regular, varied, hassle-free (!), often highly satisfying and more often than not highly inspirational and exciting sexual activity. Even if I had spent three times more money for whores overall it would still have been a ridiculously low sum compared to the costs of a regular marriage, divorce and the stale sex life provided by your regular “empowered” wife.

This just goes on to show what a complete travesty modern marriage has turned into for men! And boomer men in particular were so brainwashed that they allowed it all to happen to them. Is it any wonder then, that marriages among people in Germany are at an all time low (4.3 marriages per 1,000 people in 2023, compared to 11 marriages per 1,000 people in 1953)?

If for a red-blooded healthy man the main objective in male-female relations is sexual satisfaction and enjoyment of variety and many different sexual styles and practices – then marriage (or a long-term relationship for that matter) turns out to be a costly and disastrously disadvantageous arrangement. In that sense the perks of pay sex (at least in European Countries) appear to be quite a steal.