The other day I published a long article about my pickup history and how my interactions with women changed from my 20s to 30s. In my case, it is also important to add that I am older than I look. Even in my mid-30s, women thought I was in my 20s. Of course, time will grind all of us down eventually and no matter if you look your age or not, at some point you will no longer look young. This will drastically change how women interact with you. As I sidestepped this issue due to good genetics, the following is based on observations as well as conversations with friends but also interactions with real-world coaching clients in the past. Most guys who paid me for coaching them in-person were older. In fact, the specific problems they were facing as somewhat older guys where often the reason they reached out to me.
Before we start, I want to exclude the case of older women. I assume that even in your late 30s and beyond, you would much rather pull women who can bear children without the need for expensive medical treatments with low success rates. Older women tend to be quite desperate. They are the easiest to pull for a one-night stand, and they almost beg guys to enter a relationship with them. Regarding young women, the biggest hurdle you face as an older guy, assuming that you are in decent enough physical shape, is that women will distrust you, and rightly so. The first question on her mind will be why you are not in a relationship or married already. She will be curious about how you spent the last twenty years or, more generally, how you ended up in the position you are in. Do you have a good answer to this? I am not saying that there are no good answers, but you should be prepared for this.
When you are in your 20s and some club slut you pulled for a one-night stand asks you why you are single, you can plausibly say that you just have not found the right one yet. This will resonate with her because she likewise has not found the right one yet (and probably will not find him ever). Yet, why would you not have found a girl to settle down with as a 35 or 40 year old guy who has so much going for him? Thus, she may assume that there is something you are hiding. In fact, some women make the default assumption that any older Chad who rails them is cheating on his wife. Their default assumption is that you are married or perhaps even have kids and thus she is just auditioning for the role of being a side piece.
There are some plausible explanations for not having found the right woman yet but telling her that all women are whores, which is why you don’t want to ever settle down is none of them. Moving across countries could work. Building a now successful business is a great explanation. Telling her that you have come out of a bad relationship is probably not a good move as it signals that you did not do a good job picking a partner. Again, this is fine when you are 25 but if she hears this out of the mouth of a guy who is 45, she will likely picture you going from one bad relationship to another.
A very plausible reason for you looking for a new woman as a somewhat older guy is of course that you divorced your ex-wife. This is quite a problem, though, because this implies that you may have to pay alimony and possibly child support, too. Only really well off guys can shoulder such fiscal demands easily. I know a few guys who are still in good enough shape to get young women based on looks but as soon as those women learn about this, they lose interest fast. Sure, she may stick around to bang you a few more times, but this is a game you cannot play so easily. Even if you are in stellar shape (for your age), guys fifteen years younger who are in stellar shape for their age will play in a different league. If she can get those guys, she will jump ship. In my case, I think I would have been screwed had I to pay alimony and child support to my ex-wife — we did not have children and got out of alimony payments due to a prenup.
Lastly, if you really want to settle down, I think you should not put this question off for too long. In your late 30s or early 40s it is about high time you sort this out. Of course there are good reasons why you are older, reasonably successful, and single. If you are perfectly fine with this kind of lifestyle, then more power to you. However, the fun single-guy lifestyle has an expiry date as people half your age will normally not want to hang out with you, and vice versa. Peers your age normally also have a different lifestyle, so it can feel quite lonely to be an older trying to extend his adolescence for a few years. I have heard remarks to this effect from a surprising number of people, and this includes guys who have really made it, like a former client of mine how has an eight-figure net worth or a good friend of mine who sits on about two million euros and does not even have to work anymore.
45 thoughts on “Picking Up Women as a Somewhat Older Guy”
I think this one reads a bit differently to me, because its very different in the niche that I’m in; You do have 50 year olds hanging out and partying with 20 year olds. And the high-status 45 year olds are in fact banging early 20somethings (and hot 30 somethings).
What do those women get out of it? Is this a Harvey Weinstein-like situation in which women have sex with influential guys so that they can launch an otherwise elusive career due to gatekeeping?
Funny story, one of the hottest chicks I banged… she had just turned 19 at the time, I was like 33 or 34 I think. And she basically threw herself at me coz i had some moderate status.
But then she realized this 50 year old guy had even more status than men, and she just jumped to him. I think then they dated for even a couple of years and it became really serious.
Do you mean from hanging out with guys double their age? Well age isn’t a factor in terms of people hanging out, because it’s a lifestyle. The social events are with people from 19 to 60; since its the lifestyle that brings people there, and age is a non-factor.
As for what young chicks get out of banging older guys with status in the niche? That’s the funny part, there is no career involved. It’s just “prestige”. Kind of similar to groupies who bang band members, heck I think even local small band members get those. But chicks do bang you to move up the prestige ladder. I got laid quite a bit by only having moderate status, nowhere near what I can achieve, and this was in my early 30s.
Well, this is a very special case. I would argue that anybody who can get groupies does not really need to worry about how to get laid, albeit age surely is also a factor. Imagine you have two guys with the same status. Surely, women would go for the more attractive one in this case, which would normally be the younger guy. Even Brad Pitt got older and no longer looks as good as he did in Fight Club.
Aside from local bands, another example might be for example DJs. Women don’t get anything out of it. She’s not going to launch a career as a DJ or club promoter by banging the DJ, yet chicks still get wet for that status.
It seems as women treat status to be “as good as wealth”. Like even if its a broke ass musician, with status that has no value out of their very very niche circles; women often bang them as if though that status was the same as wealth.
Ironically, a guy who has millions in the bank, never has to work again, should be the logical choice, but he won’t be getting much attention if he he never leveraged any of that wealth to get status.
Sure. The thing is though that there’s far more chicks than young studs and high-status males. There’s a lot of abundance.
– So it’s like a 100 attractive chicks on the one side.
– And on the male side it’s like three high-status older guys, and like 3 attractive younger guys, with like 96 average guys who just watch the 100 chicks going to the 6 guys
Also some girls specialize, like some girls will go for status, some will go for chad-genes. Or my favorite kind, she’ll do both, lol, so it’s not a competition between the chads and older status guys really. They’ll both get to bang her.
There’s another thought that hit me in regards to status and wealth. We know that status and wealth brings hot chicks. So the discussion changes a lot if we’re talking about with or without special status.
Also, we have to factor in that acquiring the two takes time. If wealth and status only worked in your early 30s, then they might as well not work, because almost no one on the planet manages to acquire them that soon. Success is quite rare as it is. Getting it earlier in life is 1000x more rare. It’s probably like hitting the lottery.
Also, I don’t think when people say wealth and status brings hot chicks they bring you fit 40 year olds. You can get those without status anyway.
You’ve talked about your niche quite often over the years, and the points you were trying to make were always explained so well that the explanations by themselves were enough.
This is the first time that I would really, really know what your niche actually is, hah. But I get that none of us should doxx ourselves.
Other than musicians’ or sportspeople’s entourages, or guys organize events for these people, other niche that comes to mind with these characteristics is gym owners and the like (often they are fit themselves, but usually not the fittest around neither wealthy, so it’s not purely L or M, but S as well).
It seems as women treat status to be “as good as wealth”. Like even if its a broke ass musician, with status that has no value out of their very very niche circles; women often bang them as if though that status was the same as wealth.
This reminds me of an interview with David Buss, the famous evopsych researcher, in which he speculated that status attraction works via mechanism of receiving attention. Women are attracted to men who receive a lot of attention and respect from other people in the group. Musicians fit this bill perfectly, and so do lecturers, speakers, instructors etc…
Perhaps we can say that money or position in some hierarchy is not that useful in of itself unless you can leverage it to create social situations where other people look up to you. This sounds extremely PUA-ish but I can’t help but notice that it describes certain phenomena quite well.
Should have wrapped this in blockquote.
Thank you for posting this. I was struggling how to explain the “what’s in it for the girls” question. My niche happens to be such a niche. I get lots of eyeballs on me (from hot, young chicks) and I’m in a position of authority. I’m not a musician or DJ, but it’s similar in that eyes are on me, and I command venues full of people.
It’s almost like women treat attention like currency (wealth), so it’s almost they bang us so they can be in the circle of attention. They don’t need to get a career or money out of it. Literally just climbing up the attention ladder and being able to brag on instagram seems to be enough for them.
This is probably more of a “glitch in the matrix”, to use old PUA lingo, but correctly. If status in those circles does not correlate with money, they are shooting themselves in the foot. However, this is a common exploit and can be easily witnessed in the real world in other circumstances. Just think of all those $30k millionaires who pretend to be rich. I also overheard women talk about their frustration regarding falling for guys who are “not really rich”. One such woman spewed venom after it emerged that some supposedly rich guy she picked up at a fancy venue had borrowed his dad’s car and, as she added, “probably his watch, too”. The bizarre aspect here, though, is that this guy’s father’s money would not just disappear but she wanted to get her grubby hands on a guy with money right now.
I just came across the term “HENRY”, an acronym for “high earners, not yet rich”, which constitute the target audience of luxury brands:
These people basically spend all the money they make. This flashy lifestyle may be very appealing to some women when selecting a mate, but it is exemplary of a “fast life history” as it prioritizes present-day consumption over saving and building wealth.
You say that you want to exclude the case of older women. What would you define as an older woman? 30+? Or 35+?
What maximum age in a woman should I go for if I want to have children? I’m in my early 40s, but I look younger. (Depends – some women guess I’m 35, others guess I’m like 25 and still a student in university – I suspect clothing matter a lot here.)
Fertility starts declining rapidly after 35, and it has a gradual decline before that. So obviously 34-35 is too late to start assessing a woman.
I’m guessing don’t go for any older for 29 when you’re auditioning for a potential future mother of your children. You need a few years to even see if she’s compatible and isn’t just pretending to be nice. Takes time to see red flags.
It also depends on how many kids you want. If she is 29, you spend one or two years assessing her character, which you probably want to do, then all it takes is her having problems conceiving for a year or two for your chances of having more than one kid evaporating.
Also, I should add here that women in their early 30s often prey on guys. A good friend of mine went from single and enjoying the Chad lifestyle to being trapped with a baby in the span of about two-and-a-half weeks. (A few days after meeting her, he told me about this “super-easy lay” he had, with that woman chatting him up on the street and following him back to his place shortly after. That really did not go as he had planned.) That woman was quite difficult, to put it blindly, and now he is divorced and reduced to paying alimony as well as child support. Perhaps the most peculiar aspect of this guy’s trajectory is that she managed to get him to knock her up a second time about a year after the birth of the first child. At that point, her red flags were already showing.
Thank you Alek and Aaaron! Makes total sense to not only consider the age of the woman when first meeting, but this age + evaluation period + the potential time it takes for the pregnancy to actually work + the pregnancy itself + the time distance to a potential second child.
“A good friend of mine went from single and enjoying the Chad lifestyle to being trapped with a baby in the span of about two-and-a-half weeks.”
“At that point, her red flags were already showing.”
How was he so oblivious to her defective personality? Was he inexperienced when he met her?
He had plenty of experience with women at this point. I think he was quite vulnerable when her met her, with some things in his life perhaps not going so well. This is the only good explanation I have. Looking back, he does not know either what went into him.
Perhaps he got swayed very easily. I guess I must be fortunate that I have never gotten swayed easily. I’ve never feel hard for some chick except for that one particular girl I discussed with you in a past consultation. If you recall in the last consultation I had with you I’ve mention my relationship with sister. Long story, short I remember sister telling me years ago when I was really young to be careful with women because they can easily trap you and lie to you about being on birth control. She told me never trust women. I never forgot her words.
Those are words to live by. In the past, I think you needed to have personally known men who had gotten fucked over by women. Today, there are not really any excuses left as the Internet is full of stories of men who believed some chick who told them that, “it’s okay, you can cum in me”. I mentioned before that my first wife wanted to trap me with a baby at the end. In her case, this was even worse because she had no motherly instincts and wanted to have a kid solely for the purpose of being able to manipulate me with.
Thanks for sharing.
Women are so dangerous. I also need to draw a lesson from what you posted.
One of the last chicks I hooked up with was in her late 20s and a newly divorced single mom (her Chad husband cheated on her). I remember how easy it was to get her back to my place and fuck her and how right before I blasted she said, “oh…my…god…cum…in…me!” I was like, “nope”.
It was pretty difficult for me personally to drop her because she was pulling out all the stops. She was quite pretty also, and had probably the best natural tits I’d ever seen. She also had a great job. She would’ve been paying me alimony if the marriage hadn’t worked out haha. I mean, she was buying things for me including sex toys and outfits for us to try, giving me foot/back rubs (which were phenomenal), doting on me, asking me to be her man so soon…I just did not feel comfortable with this, but I could easily see her trapping some guy quite easily with this strategy. I’d love to know how that worked out for her. When I broke things off after just a few weeks, she tried to convince me otherwise not to but ultimately accepted it and pleasantly withdrew.
If she hadn’t had the kid then I probably would’ve went for it honestly looking back, but she also probably wouldn’t have been as eager. Who knows?
@Pickernanny: I can relate to you case. I actually cheated on my current, childless girlfriend (don’t lynch me please) with this single mom, who isn’t as young as my gf but considerably younger than my 33 years. She’s not as hot as the chick in your story (her pregnancy was rougher on her body and left her flabby around the waist, yet not fat so she looks fine in clothes), but she’s probably the chick who has been more into me ever, describing how she multi-orgasms on top of me with barely any effort on my part for example, going all needy on me, you get the idea. It’s been tough trying to break things off with her and being honest that her kid is the main reason I can’t entertain the idea of being her bf. I really hope she finds a guy, I think she’s a good person and was not the typical trashy teen mom but rather unlucky with her choice of husband. Her best bet would be a guy even older than me with kids of his own.
I think that guys with children are even less accepting of a woman’s kids from another man as it will be even more obvious that those kids who are not his are taking away time and energy that could be spent on his kids. On that note, I recall that violence against children is often doled out by step parents, which makes evolutionary sense, even though I obviously do not condone this practice.
Manuel, I can definitely relate to what you’re going through. In fact, I had been seriously dating this one chick for a few years and she was pressuring me to get engaged and have kids. Without going into much detail there were just too many red flags. Towards the end of the relationship I started cheating on her with some other chick that was engaged. I remember she’d give me the most enthusiastic blowjob/handjobs while wearing her engagement ring.
Like how you described, this chick was hypersexual and very orgasmic. The pussy was addicting. However, I’m almost entirely sure she was a histrionic narcissist. She had to be. She ended up in anther very violent and abusive relationship with some guy. It was crazy because everyone could see it coming and warned her, even the guy’s ex-gf reached out to her and explained how he had prior offenses for domestic abuse. She actually eventually reached out to me telling me how she had filed a DVP against him. I’ve since blocked her on everything, and she even went as far as to use a generated phone number to get some final scathing words in.
I have rarely been involved with single mothers, at least not knowingly. There was one encounter with an 18 or 19-year old who got knocked up at 16 and decided to keep the child. She was also able to orgasm very easily. By looking at her body, you could not tell that she had gone through pregnancy. She was also overeager to please, so considering experiences like yours I wonder if there is a stable correlation. It would make perfect sense that a woman who is burdened with a child but lacks the support of a boyfriend or husband would try very hard to get attached to some guy again, and as sex is probably their most marketable skill, they go the extra mile. This is quite similar to how some women use sex to get you to commit to a relationship. Among women who want to upgrade her status from fuck buddy to girlfriend, this seems to be the favored approach, even though it does not really work if the guy has firmly slotted her into the fuck buddy position.
Damn. Neither my gf nor my lover showed such red flags, hah. My experience can’t be called extensive, but I know a thing or two about women who are histrionic/narcissistic or whatever Cluster B personality disorders. They never have any of those according to themselves, they all have some variety of “depression” and are either at a high or at a low.
My gf is a sweetheart most of the time (she sometimes get a tad needy when I don’t text her until late in the day, but I think that’s pretty normal, accounting for her age and the fact that we don’t live nearby). My cheating has more to do with me not having shaken off the “make up for the lost time” mindset regarding women, after having been a 29-yo virgin. But I have to, and soon.
“…they all have some variety of “depression” and are either at a high or at a low.”
Yup. Her’s was muh ADHD. I didn’t start banging semi-regularly until my mid-twenties, so I think there is/was some of that wanting to get it out my system effect going on as well. The thing about it for me was, even if I had wanted to stay with my then gf at the time I don’t think I would have been able to stomach what I had been doing and look her straight in the face. She could sense something was going on anyway.
@Pickernanny: that sounds like the kind of situation where guys eho aren’t exactly thugs but aren’t mild-mannered either snap and beat thei SO. I’ve always said to myself that I’ll better walk away from the relationship than getting to that point, though it gets tricky if you’re married with children. Can’t fuck up the choice of wife.
I must add, that a second, more shameful reason for me cheating is that episode from roughly two years ago that I talked about here, where some woman duped me into believing we were a couple only to drop me like a hot potato when her estranged boyfriend came proposing right away. After all the drama I said to myself “I’ll be dead before I trust a woman again”, and as a consequence I started doing what I had avoided before: hitting on other chicks while in a relationship because “I can’t trust anyone anyway”.
It’s not a healthy mindset and it’s shameful to have that kind of baggage, like a woman who doesn’t know better.
@Aaron: but guys with kids do compromise, I’ve seen it happen a lot, at least around my corner of the world. Like those family movies where two single parents hook up and both have a bunch of kids and both sets of step-siblings don’t get along with one another until they do, but without the bullshit. I agree with you though that a lot of child abuse happens this way, and to the chick in question I’ve told that I just can’t love her kid the way he deserves, even though I’d never hit him.
“She was also overeager to please, so considering experiences like yours I wonder if there is a stable correlation.”
Quite possibly. Good luck getting the funding for that research, though. There was only one single mom I remember who was just not very sexual in general or very good in bed. She was also really tiny, and yet I found it very unsatisfying how much punishment she would just take without flinching. It was like beating out a sex doll almost (I imagine). All the others were pretty awesome in bed. Of course, some non-mothers were also pretty great.
I think the most sobering realization revealed within this article is that most of the best chicks got scooped up when they were either in high school or in college. I’m pretty convinced that if a chick is 22-25 and on the market then there has to be something wrong. If you’re an older guy and want to settle down with a stable chick and start a family then you’re probably better off not dating Western women. However, I also think that’s mostly a cope and that frontier is surely disintegrating as well. I remember Sandman_MGTOW joking that once SEA dries up, for example, geo-maxxers will have to set their sights on East Africa. And then after that there’ll be nothing left.
Yarara’s comment in the other article inspired me to write out a summary on this discussion here, from my perspective, or what my plans are
Similar situation for me, also had covid interrupt me at the worst time. I was building up to something, and just when it started exploding (lots of hot, easy chicks coming to me on autopilot along with status and money)… BAM lockdowns… Literally perfect timing. Those 3 years would have been my best, guaranteed.
As for the future, I’ll be reporting how it goes in my 40s, but basically I’m in the unique situation where:
– I don’t care if I get a single “free bang” for the rest of my life. I’ve gotten enough to where I’ve met the need to prove to myself I can get laid with hotties without paying
– In fact, in the vast majority of hookups I didn’t even push to the end, simply because for me knowing she wants to fuck me met that need of getting validated sexually by a hottie.
— So for example… if fingering her at a party or in an alley led to sex easily afterward and the logistics were easy, I’d use the opportunity, but if there was any complication, I’d be like “won’t bother, point proven”. If a chick lets you finger her in an alley (or my favorite thing I did: getting handjobs in public), she would fuck you. So I only pushed to the end if there was zero complication.
My plan for my 40s is coming from the following points:
1) Paid sex is better
I’ve not had any, but just logical reasoning and what friends who bang lots of escorts say.
2) “Almost sex” for free feels as good to me as full sex in terms of feeling that I’ve scored
3) When it comes to fucking fit 30 year olds, I don’t see an issue.
It’s not any isn’t worse banging younger chicks. If she’s in great shape, it’s just as good of a score.
It’s only an issue if you wanted that every lay be a potential mother. But why would you? Is there a requirement that every chick you bang should qualify for a potential future-mother? Of course not.
4) If I did get the desire to have children, I don’t see any issue with the suspicious young chicks objection.
You only need one. So what if chicks throw this objection? If you’re wealthy, successful, lots of status and surrounded by hot chicks and decide some 26 year old is a good potential future mother, you’re still a catch for her. That’s what matters.
Her suspicions and objections about “why you waited” aren’t a “death sentence”. Yes, the success rate will be lower, but again, so what? Do you need 50 mothers of your children? You only need one. Low conversion rate doesn’t matter.
So my actual plan
I plan on doing a variety where I bang escorts and do sugar daddying with younger chicks. Again, this to me doesn’t feel any worse than “free sex”.
On top of that, with the status and other things I have going, I don’t see banging fit 30 year olds for free being an issue much. But again, the great part is I don’t care. I see them as a bonus on top of the paid sex. Though to be fair, I seem them as actually being quite easy.
Additionally, if I get some young ones here and there for free (on top of the paid youngins’), another bonus.
The other thing is I’m tying everything together. I will be leveraging the paid hotties as part of my status building, so I get both sex, and build up my brand as well. That should increase the number of “freebies”, and additionally if I got a desire to have children, a young one should be an option. You don’t need young chicks in general to want to be your partner for life. With enough volume and eyeballs (which I will have), even a low percentage results in a lot of choice. Again, you only need one.
“4) If I did get the desire to have children, I don’t see any issue with the suspicious young chicks objection.”
I personally don’t see this as a massive obstacle, though it can definitely be a factor. My meaning is that I’ve written about quality chicks getting with guys straight out of a divorce because he got caught cheating and everyone knew about it, or chicks getting with a dude while he is actively in a relationship with a neurotic bitch. Once for me personally, I was having trouble getting this one chick out and she eventually blatantly told me that she had heard I used some other girl for sex. The thing is she had only gotten some of the truth about this particular situation, but instead of trying to defend my position or convince her that this was different (it wasn’t) I instead shrugged my shoulders and said, “so?”
I was getting too much resistance from the girl and though she was really sweet, I decided she wasn’t hot enough to keep pursuing. Despite not fucking her in the end I’m still pretty much a firm believer that if a girl wants it bad enough she will come up with all sorts of rationalizations and go for you anyway.
On the topic of younger women questioning why older dudes are single, why not just be truthful? Just tell them you were playing the field up until this point and now you want to settle down and start a family. Certainly there came a point where Mrs. Sleazy found out all about Aaron’s sexcapades, but that didn’t stop them from getting together ultimately despite having a significant age gap between them. My default response for any kind of objection is to just shrug my shoulders and be like, oh well whatever. And besides, if you are serious about having kids with a woman then I don’t know if I could just lie to them about my past until I’ve finally tied them down. They either accept or they don’t. And obviously, there is a time and a place to discuss these things.
Definitely sounds like you’ve got quite the plan ahead of you Alek,but just wanted to comment on one thing. About Children…
If you want to have kids,I feel you should connect with a woman who you genuinely love/are affectionate for. Making a robotic decision to snag up a random hot young “Trophy” wife for the sole sake of having children sounds like a recipe for disaster. people genuinely in love have regretted making this decision and reported that it wrecked their relationship. I can only imagine the chances it would turn out badly would be even higher if there’s no true passion behind the relationship.
Aaron seems to have found his,and much congrats to him for it. But in our previous conversation in his other blog,he’s told me he hesitates to publish his book on relationships because he feels most men in today’s world are better off not bothering with it,and we can definitely see his point all around us.
I should mention that there are alternatives to “parenting”. I’m not gonna speak for everyone,but I think a lot of that in many cases comes from a desire to be a “Father Figure” (or Leader,but I don’t think that word translates the message as much) in some form.
You guys remember “Scooby Werkstatt”? (arguably the Father of today’s Fitness youtube influencers. Aaron has him recommended in his old blog) In one of his videos,he states that one of the reasons he chose to never have children is because he felt his audience were already his kids.
Another person I know of just like this is a BJJ instructor. He is staunchly childfree (like I am,lol),but he runs his own gym,even instructs children,and he acknowledges his long time students as his own children. The relationship between a Martial Arts teacher and a (long time,not casual) student is a bit unique though.
I think most of us have that desire to feel important and helpful to our community. Notice I didn’t say “society” here. We care about OUR people. the people who understand us. We don’t care about the bluepilled cucks and extreme feminists who not only refuse to see the truth,but in doing so actively make the world worse off for the rest of us. (Simps creating spoiled and entitled princeses for example,as you recently commented on)
Heck,I’m sure Aaron started all of this years ago because he wanted to save more men from being duped and getting their lives ruined by PUA. and I’m sure you were fueled by that same motivation early on as you joined him in taking them down.
All I wanted to say is,having children is one way to create a family,but by no means the only one. Volunteering and being a Mentor (in a subject/field that has meaning to you) are other ways to become a Father figure to others.
Personally,I don’t think I’m wise nor have enough worldly experience to be that kind of figure for anyone as of today,but who knows,maybe one day I’ll be walking that path myself.
As I was writing that part, I realized someone might misinterpret it that way, but I went “not, surely not on this blog”, so I didn’t bother proofreading further so it can’t be misconstrued that way.
My point was not “take the first 26 year old who can birth babies”. I thought that was clear from the latter sentence about “plenty of options”. I didn’t feel like investing more time clarifying so it doesn’t get misinterpreted that way.
My point is that I think the “most chicks can object and be suspicious about why you waited” isn’t the worst thing in the world or a death sentence. Neither is the fact that your conversion rate in your 40s is lower. I think it’s well offset if you have lots of leads and volume, and so you can still have plenty to choose from.
When I say you only need one, I don’t mean “you only need one who can birth babies and is 26”. I assumed I didn’t have to spell that out.
I just have a question.
I remember that you and Sleazy used to argue with each other over monogamy and sexual variety. You pointed out, which I concur enthusiastically, that humans had different sexual desires, or their sexuality is different.
It strikes me that you don’t seem to ever want to procreate, and that you are happy with sexual variety, enabled by your well-designed lifestyle. Is this portrait of you accurate? Is it true that you believe you are destined to become an “eternal bachelor”?
Also, I know this should be blatantly obvious, but why are you switching to paid sex? Is it purely because a Covid? Or is it because age has made you less appealing?
I figured out a long time ago that paid sex makes a lot more sense than “free sex”. The only reason I didn’t do it sooner was not having money, I invested every last cent in building stuff. Still do, and I’ll only activate paid sex when I have discretionary spending money (i.e. profit).
I’m not against free sex. I’m against “low roi” free sex. This is the kind where you have to invest a bunch of time and effort to have sex that isn’t any better than jerking off. I got a bunch of it just to prove to myself that I can.
Please note that I’ve never had Sleazy-style 5 minute pulls or anything like that. It always involved effort and time. And my hourly wage has always been super high. That is, what my time and effort is worth has always been so high that getting laid “for free” never made sense mathematically.
With the hours I need to invest to get one lay for free, in those same hours I can make enough money to bang 3 escorts and have money left over. Make sense?
I did have 5 minute makeouts and fingerings though. All of those happened due to status where the chick saw me in an enviroment where I have authority and lots of eyeballs on me.
But still, the investment was not 5 minutes per se. I had to invite a chick somewhere with some excuse to be somewhere away from prying eyes. And yes, the fingering her on the floor might happen 5 minutes from the moment she walks in… however, I had to not work for maybe 3-4 hours that day.
There’s getting ready, dressing up, going to the place, and you book like an hour or two. Usually I can’t work in the hour before or after. So really, the total investment is 4 hours to get to put your fingers in some chick’s pussy. I can brag that I did it in 5 minutes from hello, but still I invested 4 hours to get it.
I can make a lot of money with 4 hours of consulting work if I wanted to.
Not that I did, otherwise I’d be filthy rich, obviously lol. I work a relatively small number of hours on actual paid work, you’d be surprised. Most of my work hours are spent on building stuff that will pay off later on.
But still, my “per-hour” earning as a person is very high. So when I waste 4 hours to finger a chick, or a total of 30 hours to get a lay, I’m comparing it to my actual hourly rate.
If I had excess cash back then, I would have started banging chicks for money perhaps even 10 years ago… maybe even 15 years ago. Can’t remember exactly when I figured this out.
Another clarification I need to make, since I find I often have to make it with guys. No I don’t mean you have to invest an average of 30 hours in ONE chick when you get laid.
That’s the investment per-lay, not per chick. If you total all the going out time and all the interactions and “dates” to get that one lay, it’s a lot higher.
It’s easy to lie to yourself that your per-lay investment is 5 hours if you invested 5 hours in the chick that you did lay, however, in order to get that one chick, you had invest time in 6 chicks, 5 of which you didn’t bang. You need to add those hours in as well.
What’s your hourly rate? Multiply that by 30. Is it less than paying a hot escort or more?
I do encounter these questions every now and then. Not so much with lays from my extended social/professional circles, where I already have a reputation as a womanizer, but girls I pick up on tinder or are otherwise total strangers will sometimes ask if i have any exwives or children.
My usual answer goes along the lines of having had a very long relationship headed for marriage (which is true) but getting burned very young, so I have developed very high standards of what I expect of a woman I would be willing to marry.
On rare occasions, i have been told outright that she thought i was likely hiding a wife and children somewhere. This happens usually when it comes up that I dont have any social media accounts. Millenials and zoomers can hardly get it into their heads that someone might willingly stay off social media, so the most likely explanation must be I am hiding my online presence.
I can usually deactivate such objections by launching a brief but solid rant about how i dont care about what other people do in their lives, how i like to do my own thing, my time is not worth spending on bullshit, and that my own life is interesting enough for me (which it is, people have repeatedly asked me to instagram my backpacking trips to interesting places, including to war zones. I have always refused, however i do have some really cool photos to show off to chicks privately).
Oh, and I also add how toxic social media is for your mental health, which is something most of them intuitively know, even if they cant escape it.
Mind you, none of the objections raised above has ever prevented me a lay so far, at least not openly, it just took a little extra explaining.
Caveat: a large amount of my lays has come in situations where realistically there was zero chance of long term commitment (during travel, or visiting tourists) so my sample might be a little skewed in the direction of not asking too many questions.
“My usual answer goes along the lines of having had a very long relationship headed for marriage (which is true) but getting burned very young, so I have developed very high standards of what I expect of a woman I would be willing to marry.”
Instead of the long relationship headed for marriage as a truthful justification, I use the late bloomer excuse, though I’d never be truthful about HOW late to the party I was. I do use the “high standards” argument, because I am indeed very wary of going all the way with just any woman, like so many schmucks who get married, kids (not necessarily in that order) and divorced all before the age of 20.
“On rare occasions, i have been told outright that she thought i was likely hiding a wife and children somewhere. This happens usually when it comes up that I dont have any social media accounts.”.
I get the accusation of hiding a family most of the time. A consequence of using social media instead of Tinder for hitting on chicks is that sometimes I’ve been asked whether my older sister is my SO, hah.