Technology

The Ditzification of Washing Machines

A while ago I had to replace a washing machine. Not knowing much about this market, I did a bit of research online, and what I found was truly shocking. Yet again, we have an example of society degenerating to the level of sheer idiocy. What I discovered was that a lot of washing machines nowadays have a hatch in the door so that you can add clothes you may have forgotten to put in. Here is what one such washing machine looks like:

“Honey, wouldn’t it be, like, really cool if I could, like, put your socks into the washing machine after I, like, have started it? It’s cool, right, hun?”

I could only shake my head at this. The first problem is that these extra frills lead to cost increases during manufacturing. Also, this hatch constitutes of extra parts that can wear out, and probably those will wear out quicker than the hinges on the main door. The biggest problem, however, is that this feature solves a problem that should not even exist. In fact, I think there is great educational value in not being able to add clothes after you hit start on the washing machine. It will simply teach you to pay more attention next time.

Before I saw imagines of such washing machines, I was not even aware that it was a problem that you cannot add extra items after starting the machine. I mean, is it not normal to collect your dirty laundry in a laundry bag first? It is difficult to fathom how this feature even made it to production. Presumably, it took a lot of nagging wives and girlfriends who blamed the washing machine instead of themselves for forgetting to collect all dirty laundry in advance. Still, you somehow think that any engineer or marketer suggesting such a feature would get laughed out of the building.

There must be a lot of women out there who do not collect dirty clothes in a laundry bag. Maybe their work flow is a bit more, um, creative, i.e. once they realize that it has been a few weeks since they last turned on the washing machine they go onto some kind of expedition in their apartment where they drag discarded clothes out from under the bed, sofa, or random corners. Then they put them all into the washing machine, but only afterwards do they realize that they forgot to add their panties, which is where this extra hatch comes in handy. If you have a better explanation then please let me know.

Now that this feature exist, you can surely expect people to act even dumber. Suddenly, there is no need to collect all your dirty laundry in advance, given the convenience of a modern washing machine. If you ever thought that technological progress only moves into one direction, you now have an example of backwards progress.

4 thoughts on “The Ditzification of Washing Machines

  1. My washing machine waits a minute before starting, in case I forget something. In any case, if I did forget something, I can usually just add it to the next wash; because I have multiples of each type of clothing and bath linen.

  2. Hey now, forgetting to put in some minor piece that can happen to anyone. Not all dirty laundry goes automatically in my dirty laundry bin, especially if they are wet (towels) and are hanging somewhere else, in order not to make a mess. Or perhaps you have roommates, and you dont share the dirty laundry basket.

    I have owned top-loader washing machines in the past where this was not an issue, if you forgot something you just popped the lid open and threw it in.

    To me this does look more like one of those “features” nobody really needed, but it makes the machine look more fancy while at the same time possibly making maintenance more expensive and reducing its service life. The same way no one really needed cool water or ice dispensers in fridge doors (ever heard of ice cube trays and water bottles?)

    Also, the same reason why 95% of people never needed a waterproof sealed smartphone, but hey, the only downside is you cannot replace the battery anymore once it dies out….

  3. Never seen this feature! I love how this add-on can be seen as yet another sign of the West’s decline.

    BTW, why would someone want to add in missed clothes mid-wash?! Half the washing is already done so wait for the next time.

    Usually you should do a wash based on the “right” load. Too little or too much can eff your machine.

    Don’t they teach this in school? Oh wait…they teach BLM, feminism, etc.

    1. You raise an important point in passing: we used to teach women home economics in school. They learned how to cook, clean, mend clothes, take care of children, etc., all in order to be good house wives. There is only a small remnant of this these days in the West, namely Swiss hospitality schools. From what I gather, the more selective among those have the dual purpose of teaching upper-crust scions manners as well as letting them play-act that they have to work for a living.

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