Open Post · Society

Open Post: Chinese Men Don’t Like “Leftover Women”

My favorite female ever, Sleazy’s Wife, left the following comment:

Found yet another instance of the Chinese being brutally honest to one another regarding dating (in the context of leftover women):

If a blind date said to me that as a husband, he wants to make the final decision on what electronics to buy and all I just need is to tell him what I’m looking out for, I’d be happy! I don’t understand this leftover woman’s resistance to being taken care of by a husband who says he wants to lead. I get that she’s wary of hardcore male chauvinism but that’s been significantly watered down in the younger people of today anyway. None of my mainland Chinese friends have dictator-husbands.

What’s unsaid is maybe she’s telling herself she doesn’t want to be married because she’s already no longer that desirable to men (she’s in her 30s, sports butch hair, and is a lawyer).

In response, Old Anon added:

This is actually part of a longer documentary called “Leftover Women.”

The lawyer, Huamei, is actually the most physically attractive woman in the entire film, despite her terrible haircut. She’s got clear skin, straight teeth, and the much-desired “double eyelid.” She’s also in great shape. There’s a scene where she visits a nightclub looking quite nice in her low cut dress.

I am not sure she has trouble attracting men. Although she says she wants an educated man with “respect” for women, what’s left out are the other things the other women (including their mothers) in the film talk bluntly about as absolute requirements (surprise, it’s looks, money, and status). I think she is being honest that she is picky, and frankly l don’t blame her given what the men she encountered looked like (and likely what their salaries were compared to hers; l doubt an engineer or government drone makes that much more than a lawyer, if at all).

Interestingly enough, according to an interview with the filmmakers, she ended up moving to Munich and married a German.

I find the phenomenon of leftover women quite fascinating. The Chinese clearly know what’s up when they tell women that they need to settle down early. This is not “internalized misogyny” or some such bullshit but simply an acknowledgment of biological realities. A woman spending her 20s chasing career success and looking for Chad in all the wrong places is simply at a disadvantage in her 30s.

I find the claim that the Chinese are misogynist in that regard downright ludicrous. In fact, I see great concern for female happiness. It is undeniable that women find motherhood very fulfilling, and certainly much more fulfilling than creating PowerPoint presentations while sitting in a cubicle or open-plan office. How many genuinely happy single, older women have you met? No matter how you’ll look at it, observation seems to clearly lead to the conclusion that a woman needs kids to feel happy about herself, just like a man needs some kind of purpose, basically, anything will do. If a man does not find a status hierarchy to climb in his job, he’ll want to tackle one in his spare time, like getting kyu or dan grades in some martial art, or showing off some widget or piece of furniture he has built to friends and (online) acquaintances.

A man who lives life without purpose is likely to enter a downward spiral: sloth, mindless media consumption, or drug problems are likely to use up his energy. In contrast, a woman who does not fulfill her biological purpose, will tailspin in a different way. For instance, where do you think the crazy cat lady meme came from? It has firm roots in reality because childless women may get a cat that fills the role of a baby. Surely, you have noticed that cats are about the size of a baby or toddler, and rarely beyond. They may also get active in various social causes, like volunteering in refugees-welcome initiatives. This is, again, an example of their mothering instinct running wild. They have no babies, so they need to nurture someone else. A helpless cat or a seemingly helpless refugee, in particular unaccompanied minors, may be an excellent replacement, at least in their mind.

You can bet that the Chinese are well-aware that lazy men and childless women cause all kinds of problems. Thus, they have no welfare state. They also have no qualms about shaming women into marriage. While this may lead to temporary unhappiness for some women who may lust after Chad, you can bet that society as a whole is a lot better off. This is indeed a feature of the Chinese mind: putting society above your own petty preferences. I think this is an area in which the West can learn a lot from the Far East.

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26 thoughts on “Open Post: Chinese Men Don’t Like “Leftover Women”

    1. A few thoughts:

      1. It’s despicable how VICE attempts to boost Communism by portraying pre-1980s China as this paradise when actually the average Chinese was living in squalor. Notice how they use the term “Socialist” in place of the truthful term “Communist.”

      2. The West focuses on these “leftover women” when actually the problem is the 6 million surplus of men who will die alone no matter what they do. At least these women have the option of choice, and it’s their own fault that they choose to not compromise.

      3. The reporter implies that misogyny is the cause for these “leftover women” when really it’s feminism and the entitlement it implants into these women who think they deserve to “have it all” and receive unconditional praise just for having a vagina.

    2. The second point is very interesting. I have come across the argument that this is a benefit for China as this means that the bottom six million men won’t get to reproduce, i.e. it’s eugenics in disguise.

    3. I doubt six million men in a culture that heavily promotes family building will simply roll over and accept their fate. I expect massive social unrest in the countryside when you see all the rural girls going into the city, seeking a white-collar worker to escape their fate of being a broke farmer’s wife.

      Furthermore, like the lawyer from the video your wife posted, l would expect an exodus for the “more educated” city girls as they reject the local “misogynist” men to go “study” abroad and look for a tall, middle-to-upper-class white partner sympathetic to feminism.

    4. The Chinese aren’t natural rioters, unlike some other races. Also, the Chinese are the alphas of the Far East. They can go to Thailand or the Philippines to find a wife. Of course, this applies to only the top of those six million surplus men who have the means to travel and are well off. Singaporean-Chinese men who can’t get a local woman of the same ethnicity do the same. Sure, this will lead to an increased sex imbalance in those countries, but that’s a different problem.

    5. Another point to keep in mind is that Europe has invited well over a million surplus men in prime fighting age. Would you rather have six million meek Chinese attempt a riot in China, or around 2 million Arabs (for UK readers: “Asians”) and Africans do the same in Europe?

    6. Points well taken.

      I suppose l am just feeling angst about the declining state of the world. Whereas the Chinese are currently dealing with the unintended consequences of solving a Maltusian problem, the West’s problems are entirely of their own making.

      In fact, since the Chinese have a more open stance on eugenics, we may indeed see the beginning of the Übermensch in our lifetime.

    7. The Chinese are heavily funding genetic research. You can bet that they will have few qualms regarding diagnostics, gene modification, or even downright eugenics. Unlike in the West, where we have a liberal elite that wants to tell us that intelligence is some kind of made up construct. The IQ of the average Chinese is already around 5 points above the West. Judging from the way things are going, the Chinese could twist their thumbs and the IQ gap would grow to a solid 10 points or more, due to downward pressure in the West. That would already be a disaster. Wait what will happen once an IQ95 Westerner will have to compete against an IQ115 Chinese. The next few decades will indeed be very interesting.

    8. Indeed, I wonder how long it will be until the emergence of a generation of genetically enhanced Chinese that max out all the desirable traits and eradicate all the negative ones. It may be the next step in human evolution: a race of literal superhumans.

    9. The Chinese liberating the USA and holding Nuremberg-style trials would be a sight to behold. I don’t think they’d bother as the West is collapsing on its own already anyway.

  1. In regards to ‘cat ladies’: the amount of females in their 20s who own small dog breeds increased significantly in the last decade. They say that they don’t want to have children, just to go and buy a stupid dog to fill the void of not having children. And they are too dumb to realise that!

    The mind boggling part is that those small fuckers are even worse than having children! My brother and his girlfriend got one. They always have to have somebody to watch out for the dog because it cannot be alone. This pug shits in the apartment almost every week, well because being a degenerated breed of an animal. Also they have to carry it up and down stairs because the legs are to short.

    1. Fun fact: you can bet that your typical liberal dipshit who proclaims that there is only one race, the human race and that there are over a billion potential Einsteins in Africa happily pays top dollar for a pure-bred dog. In the animal kingdom, it’s somehow safe to subdivide a species into races. Why aren’t there liberal dog activists that barrage potential buyers of expensive dogs that any dog is as good as any other dog and that they engage in “animal racism” (breedism?) if they prefer making an elitist and highly discriminatory choice by getting a dog from a breeder as opposed to adopting some runt that was the product of dogs of inferior genetic stock mating.

    2. There are no races, but we must ensure racial diversity 🙂

      Next time I’ll just say we’re all one race, so no worries about racial diversity. Somehow I don’t think it’ll fly with them.

  2. It seems Asian men are very content to go on their own and be herbivores like the Japanese, why do you think that is? Lower test levels?

    1. That’s one reason. It could also be that Japanese women have standards that are way too high and men deliberately opt out. Also, you have to consider that the Japanese are, on average, way more intelligent than Westerners, and if you’re smarter, you’ll find it a lot easier to keep yourself occupied.

  3. I hate that fucking tired lie that American women were “sent back to the kitchen in the 50s.”
    They WANTED to be homemakers and they STILL do!! I talk to women all the time who say this is their preference. In fact, when researching for a manuscript that I wrote, I found a statistic from the economic magazine Forbes Women that found that 84% of American married mothers would prefer to stay at home with there children if it were economically viable. So I decided to research how many married mothers did so in the 1950s from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. It said that 82% were homemakers. Almost identical to the percentage that say they want that today! Even LOWER than today’s American women!

    I think the real problem is “wanting to have it all.” They want a college degree, the party life, the career, and then the husband and 2 kids and quiting their job to stay home. Life and nature don’t work in those pretty little sequences. Chinese women are making the exact same mistake in the wake of the Wests examples on what not to do. Like the part in the video when the Chinese women claimed that she was told she was getting older by patriarchs. The reporter was like “26 is not old!” Fact is its high time that woman gets married or she is going to have a difficult time finding a husband and will probably settle for the wrong man. Then once she has her 2 children she will have a sexless, joyless marriage. Its what American feminism has taught us. Instead of learning from history, Chinese women are acting exactly like American feminists from the 1980s and 1990s.

    1. Well, I wanted to have it all too, though to me that meant a career and family (at least 3 kids) minus the partying. In my mind the career would be the priority, and I’d somehow acquire the family along the way. Quitting a job to stay at home was never something I had considered. When you study hard to get good grades, attend good schools where there are higher education and scholarship committees set up to help you achieve in life career-wise, you just don’t think about stepping on the brakes in your early 20s to become a mother. It’s just downright weird and against everything you’ve been brought up to think.

      It’s why Singapore’s fertility rate is doomed too. There’re all these structures set up pushing people from a young age to pursue careers, that the occasional nagging by politicians to “please have children” is just discordant. And this career-mindedness already has a firm hold on even my parents’ generation (born in the 1960s). My mother works and so do most of my aunts. They had kids in their 30s, stopped at 2, and have almost always been working in full-time jobs. That’s typical. I’m 99.9% sure that my generation of cousins won’t replace ourselves.

      So I feel like I’m taking part in a social experiment with myself as the subject: have the kids first while in my early 20s, stay at home until they don’t need me full-time, and then see if I can get a job after. Basically doing things in reverse. And we’ll see the results of this 20 years later when I compare outcomes with friends and acquaintances.

    2. @Sleazy’s Wife

      I’ve come to think of the concept of a “career” as just another version of aspirational peacocking. Only the immature and the insecure dream about being an executive, and the monetary compensation largely becomes an exercise in diminishing returns due to our ability to adapt to differing circumstances. We can only comprehend so much luxury until nothing becomes pleasurable. Also at the executive level, you pay a hefty premium in terms of “time being happy and content” vs. “time being unhappy and stressed.”

      You have the better path. All things considered, ultimately you will have the better quality of life as l bet your time spent raising your family is much more valuable to you than sacrificing that time in order to “climb the ladder” (which basically means working hard to make someone else richer in the hopes of eventually becoming rich yourself).

    3. I wanted to make another comment about being sent to an undesirable place. It was not the women of that era but the MEN!! They were sent to a goddamn death factory. Not just WWII, but Korea as well. Many came back physically and/or mentally maimed, or in a coffin. If they were lucky enough to come back alive and well, they married and started large families. Then the Left thanks them by branding them bigots and chauvinists. Words can not describe how much the American media and Hollywood sickens me.

    4. @Old Anon

      I can say that I’m very happy with the life I have now 🙂 Yesterday Aaron commented that he’s noticed I no longer have the angsty moodswings I used to have when we were dating, which was when I was preoccupied with getting a good first job. I didn’t realise this change in myself!

  4. That woman in the video is a lesbian and just doesn’t want to tell or family or admit it to herself, if she hasn’t already. It’s as clear as day.

    1. I think he’s referring to the NYT video. Short hair is popular among lesbians as it isn’t feminine. However, many women in their 30s cut their hair short because its quality has been declining. Thus, I’m not convinced that the woman is a lesbian, judging by her hair alone. However, I would not be surprised if that were indeed the case. Lastly, there is the issue that some women turn lesbian out of necessity because they rather want to be with another woman than nobody at all.

    2. It looks like she has zero interest in men whatsoever. Think about it. She is in her 30s, has only been with two men, and completely resists her family’s urging of her to get married. She has all the signs. Doesn’t appear to enjoy sex, doesn’t care about her dates, and isn’t caving under family pressure to get married. That’s a pretty big deal in those cultures. The only other thing I can think of is she is dealing with severe depression.

    3. In an interview the filmmakers reveal that she eventually moves to Germany and marries a white guy.

      The documentary itself shows her going on dates and even dancing with another man at a nightclub. The quality of men she encountered were quite pathetic, however.

      Having a small number of sexual partners is actually quite common in developed Asian countries.

      I would agree that she was likely dealing with depression while she was living in China, though, given the combination of her family’s intense pressure and the lack of suitable options in her mind.

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