Open Thread

Open Thread 2019 (#14)

Aaron "Sleazy" Elias

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134 thoughts on “Open Thread 2019 (#14)”

  1. We recently had a brief discussion about SSL certificates. I now looked more into it and have decided that I will not get one as it is just not economically viable to spend $100+/year on it. Also, it is only recommended if you carry out financial transactions on your site. I don’t do that. I don’t collect any personal information either. Google views a lack of an SSL certificate as a negative when ranking sites, though, so that is something I’ll have to live with.

    Reply

    1. There are free SSL services for personal/blog websites. For example the “let’s encrypt it” initiative.

      I haven’t had to look into it how to use it as my host automatically applies for and registers a free (let’s encrypt) SSL certificate for you.

      Manual shouldn’t take too long I think.

    2. Thanks for the hint! I was not aware of this option. I also appreciate your reminder about your web host. I’m still not entirely happy with my current host, so I may explore alternatives soon.

    3. Just to be 100% transparent.

      – The hosting I recommended to you a while back when I emailed you, it had a one-click installation of free SSL, so I set up all my websites with SSL on it easily.

      – Today it still advertises this option on their frontpage, but I can’t find it anywhere on the dashboard. When i try to find where is the setup free SSL button I can’t find it. It only has the option for adding a paid SSL. Maybe they made it more difficult to find on purpose to sell more paid SSLs. All I see is a semi-manual option, where you have to put in code you got from your SSL issuer.

      – I no longer use it for new websites I create because my business procured a higher-tier (300$ a year) hosting, and I put any new websites on there. So never bothered to find out if and how you can auto-add free SSL on it.

    1. Your outlook on life and insecurity has probably been shaped by acne-related bullying. Now it’s more understandable.

    2. ‘I used to think that my life was a tragedy. But now I realize, it’s a comedy.’ – Arthur Fleck (Joker)

    3. This reminds me a lot of, “Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.” It is ascribed to Jean Racine and I would not be surprised if the screenwriter took some inspiration from that quote.

  3. maybe i should ask this now
    sex feels good and all but after i cum i am getting grossed and disgusted and kinda want to get away from the female, i am like wtf am i doing.
    you guys experience this shit as well after sex you get disgust that you did this dirty thing? this is ridiculous.
    its like you do it and after you think why bother?

    Reply

    1. Since I finally broke my cherry in the last year (I had shit sex with two not very attractive females, but hey, it’s a start), I feel capable of answering, even though it’s held true for jerking off as well: yes. I’ve always thought it’s a pretty normal reaction for a majority of people, even.

      I mean, you probably had to take a shower before the act or, even in ONS’s, before going out and pick up girls, and you have to do it again afterwards or go to sleep all sticky and wake up with smegma on your penis. You have to wash the sheets (it it’s not a motel and the like) and probably even your clothes. And even though it’s not necessarily *revulsion* toward the female, once the deed is done both of you have no use for each other, biologically speaking (if it’s not with reproductive ideas). But hey, at least you’re not a mantis or a spider and she won’t bite your head off after sex. 😀

    2. this only happens if i am forced to tolerate the presence of the female after i cum, if by any reason i can cut her off it doesnt.
      it is like i am led astray by my instincts, and led into situations i am going to get grossed eventually.

    3. The Japanese even have a term for what we’d describe as “post-nut clarity”. Indeed, asking yourself what the hell you’re doing right after you’ve blown a load on some slut is a perfectly normal reaction. After you’ve orgasmed, your brain tells you that you just have no use for this particular woman anymore. That’s also why it’s so easy to walk away from some slut you’ve banged after a night out in the club.

    4. Let me guess, does this happen when you fuck women you dont really find attractive? you just fucked them because you were horny enough (or drunk/drugged enough) not to care. I should know, been there done that. When you are done, you are a little ashamed to have gone for the low hanging fruit. This is probably not a girl you would like to boast about to your friends?

      Nowadays I dont usually pick girls I would regret waking up next to. As a matter of fact, waking up with a girl in my bed these days usually means a second or third round of sex. As Woody Allen supposedly said, sex is only dirty if you do it right. If your really like the girl, I think you would not care about dirty, on the contrary.

      But thats just my personal 2 cents. Your experience may vary.

    5. I think the big difference is that sometimes you hit it off with women, but often she’s basically just an object. I have found that the less time I spent talking to a woman or getting to know her before sex, the more likely I was to lose all interest in her after busting a nut. Then there were cases were a chick either annoyed me or I even detested her, and I only wanted to bang her. Of course, once you have done that, you don’t want to stick around.

  4. Hey Sleazy,

    what other “seduction”-books besides your own can you recommend? I’ve read all your books so far and now I am interested in other good material. Can you recommend something?

    Generally speaking everything that involves seduction, male-female-dynamics, status society & love.

    Reply

    1. Why do you want more books to read? Didn’t you find the information you were looking for in Aaron’s works?

      Or are you scared to actually take action and go out and talk to girls, so you’re telling yourself you “need more information” so you can procrastinate the moment of truth when you look an attractive woman in the eye?

    2. Aaron Sleazy Books and Jak’d 2.0, Coach Black Pill, FaceandLMS and other Black Pill Channel on YouTube is enough. You don’t need anything more.

      There is no seduction, it’s all about looks. If she likes you can talk anything, even topic about war and religion. LOL

      Stop Mental masturbation. I don’t read books anymore.

      Only book i have is The 48 Laws of Power in my desk.

    4. Well, I have two more books in the pipeline, so I can recommend that you get those once they are out. They are Sleazy Stories IV and a book on online game. I don’t remember any both in this niche I could recommend wholly. Some are completely useless, others contain b.s. together with the occasional valid bit of advice. I also came across a few books I thought were pretty okay but that were too fluffy, i.e. the information is too diluted and/or not specific enough.

      You should check out incels.wiki for it’s many sources to scientific studies, in particular the entry “Scientific Blackpill”. Maybe ask yourself if there is a particular question you’d like to get an answer to and seek out the information you need as opposed to reading widely and sifting through a lot of nonsense.

    6. @Sleazy
      >>You should check out incels.wiki for it’s many sources to scientific studies, in particular the entry “Scientific Blackpill”<<

      It was I who posted that link to “Scientific Blackpill”…. ;=)

    8. @Aaron: thanks. I’ll try it out. Lots of guys use baby oil, but my skin is kind of sensitive to scented products so I’m wary of that.

    9. @Sleazy
      >>I know. I don’t think you’ve read though all of it, though.<<

      You are right. I finished the first chapter. Hard stuff to swallow, especially for guys like me who were raised by a single mother.

      btw.: What's your take on "Rationale Male" series @ Rollo Tomassi and "Models" @ Mark Manson?

    10. I haven’t read any of Rollo’s books as I find his writing incredibly tedious. You’ll find a review of Mark Manson’s “Models” on my old blog. You may also want to look for a blog in which I lambast him for pushing looks-don’t-matter nonsense. I think it was a response to him claiming that male height isn’t important or some nonsense like that.

    11. @Sleazy
      >>….for pushing looks-don’t-matter nonsense. I think it was a response to him claiming that male height isn’t important or some nonsense like that.<<

      He said that? Jesus Christ…. that is sad.

    12. Mark Manson was only in it for the money and once the well had dried up, he moved on.

  5. BTW, I think since I brought up my incipient (shit) sex experience, I might as well ask this now.

    Part of the reason it was shit sex is because apparently, I have developed the “grip of death”, the “chokehold” or whatever it is called when you get used to holding your penis too tight for masturbation. It doesn’t help that I’m unfortunately circumcised.

    Since I’m looking ahead at a dry spell for several reasons (but hey, until a year ago my whole life had been a dry spell, so who cares?), I want to ask for some recommendations on lubricants for jerking off. Hand lotions and the like, or do you think I should only use proper water-based sex-oriented lube?

    Reply

    1. or you could just light up your grip , and tolerate it like i do. lol weird we have similar problems

    2. This problem is quite common. I have repeatedly recommended a Fleshlight, or comparable products, to clients. Those who didn’t have hang-ups about getting such a device benefited from it. That being said, the view that a woman’s vagina is the “least favorite hole” is not that rare. I know guys who (almost) never have vaginal sex and instead prefer a bj, followed by anal. This could well be an individual response to the problem of masturbating with too tight a grip, which means that a pussy may not provide you with enough stimulation to get off.

    3. That’s… one way to do it, I guess (though it strikes me as doing birth control by pulling out: it’s hard to control). But as the Church would say, masturbation is not natural, LOL. Ideally you should recreate real sex conditions, and the vagina lubricates, so…

      Otherwise, I think I’ll be condemned to having the girl finish me off with her hand. Not great. 😀

    4. buy a fleshlight, possibly one of the basic models without a lot of tightness. It doesn’t cost much and you can’t do the death grip with it.

    5. There may be one or two sex shops in my country. Maybe. And if there are, they probably don’t sell fleshlights.

      Damn, I should’ve bought one in Amsterdam. LOL

    6. There are a few decent brands. Astroglide is a classic. A much cheaper and quite comparable option is using rapeseed oil. This may sound odd but just try it. True, you’ll want to wash your dick afterward. Yet, you would also do so after you’re rubbed one out with a regular lubricant.

    7. Oye amigo, bienvenido al otro lado! jajaja (welcome to the other side!)

      Por que vas a quedarte seco? Acabas de comenzar, deberias tirarte a experimentar mas!

      When I jerk off, I dont have any accessories, usually not even lube, so I cannot really offer advice on that front. But dude, why are you looking at a dry spell? you just got over one of the biggest hurdles in a guys life to having sex. (Who cares if it was shitty, most sex is. even among supposedly experienced guys.)

    8. Hola Yarara, mi amigo argento, y gracias!

      Nah, I just won’t have the time and the money to go out much in the next few months. Neither for relationships, and the girls I’m meeting are only into that, so…

      I was recently in Europe, I should’ve emptied my balls right there and then, LOL.

  7. Tinder’s New “Super Boost” – An Admission of Defeat? Details, Prices, Release Dates (as They Unveil), and an Opinion.

    https://www.swipehelper.com/2019/06/19/tinders-new-super-boost-an-admission-of-defeat-details-prices-release-date-review/

    Here in Portugal cost 44,99€

    Aaron, What is your opinion?

    As you’ve probably noticed yourself, getting matches on Tinder has been getting harder and harder (for guys) and one of the main reasons I suspect for this is a steep decline in active female users, leading to a vicious circlethat leaves the average guy high and dry in terms of matches. Pretty much since their inception, boosts have been the only reliable way of getting any matches for many users. What a coincidence.

    Reply

    1. they also play with visibility of male users
      increasing your priorities purely based onhow much money you spend(more money you spend
      more visibility priority)
      the super boost sets up an option with even larger priority.
      or so it seems, if you super hot and have super boost you can get lots of mathces. money starts play too much of a role.

    2. https://ibb.co/HH79QwG
      https://ibb.co/P1mjR7M

      If you dont have matches with free or gold, buying super boost will dont do anything.

      Aaron, man, i don’t know, but your upcoming book about online dating can’t help average or ugly guys… or asian men. It’s just my opinion. On online dating looks play a huge role.

    5. I made a Tinder Experiment with my photos, I wrote Cuckold in my Tinder Bio…

      And still 0 matches.

      So… my sexual market is too low… even being a cuckold and don’t have women interested.

      Like FaceandLMS said: Brootalll

    6. Life is a playground for the attractive people.

      The rest of us are just NPCs. We are the supporting cast in their movie.

    1. Hi Assanova! I’m glad you’re back.

      Yes, the entire seduction community collapsed. From its ashes rose the incel community, which is more active than the seduction community ever was. Of the old names, RSD is still around, but they recently shut down their forum. Roosh has suspended his Return of Kings size, and it seems he also has banned all talk about hooking up on his forums. Then there was that mASF successor forum NextASF, which also recently closed its doors. The biggest game-related community may be “theredpill” on Reddit these days.

    2. So I just did my rounds looking for any of the blogs I use to read, and you are right. The whole game community has been completely decimated. It’s almost unbelievable to witness. Most of our generation has gotten married and maybe moved on with their lives, but it’s still kind of wild that no one is around. It’s almost like a Mad Max wasteland with skeletons of what use to be. Why the new generation would move solely to places like Youtube is beyond me. There is just too much public scrutiny to risk using that as a medium. I much prefer the lowkey-ness of a blog, but maybe that’s just me.

    3. I suspect that a significant number of those people now lead a quiet life of desperation. Remember the forced positivity in many of those blogs? They were all going to slay one “Ten” after another, make money hand over fist with day trading and retire in some third-world country, living like kings. How long can you keep this up until you realize that none of this is going to happen? Quite a few of those people tried the digital nomad lifestyle and failed.

  10. I kind of saw the Roosh thing coming once they started banning his books. Regardless of what one thinks of someone’s views, it’s kind of crazy that the thought police can completely wreck your career and ban you everywhere. It’s good to see that you’re still around. I went to several blogs that I use to visit, and most of them have completely disappeared.

    Reply

  11. I just visited the Roosh V website, and damn! He fell far. Looks like he’s just been doing travel blogs most recently with like a handful of comments at most in each one.

    Reply

  12. The BBC did an investigation to pick up artist coaching, leading to youtube shutting some channels down:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTh4s_tlrHA

    They’re acting like talking to a woman in the street is always harassment ffs. I think the coaches in this were pretty creepy but the reporters are acting like wanting to have sex with a woman makes you a misogynist.

    They are trying to make it socially unacceptable to hit on women.

    Reply

    1. Jesus age christ. I hate pua. Cold approaches withou choosing signals. And for average or below average guy like me is suicide mission.

    1. I’m not an expert on this issue. If you’re interested in learning about anal intercourse with men, I’m afraid you’ll have to look elsewhere online as I’m catering to a heterosexual audience.

    4. Sometimes, with anal sex, it’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.

      In other words, have some lube ready and attempt when you have her in prone position. If you have to ask, you’re probably going to get a no, but if you just go for it then who knows. Just don’t go shoving yourself all the way in and thrusting very fast and hard, ease very carefully in. If you’re on the bigger side, don’t plan on her being able to get you off with anal. Think of it more as a novel experience. If you happen to be extra girthy, then I would think twice.

    5. Also, with a bit of self-clitoral stimulation, lots of chicks can get themselves off while you’re easing yourself in and out of them (anal). So if you let them have decent experience like this with it then they may even be more open to it in the future, knowinf you’re not going to demolish them.

      I personally haven’t come across a chick that just likes to be slammed in the rear, bit I’m sure there are some around.

  15. Aaron/Alex

    How much comfort is needed for casual sex (one nights stands etc..) vs long term-relationships? Is there a difference between the two? I’ve met girls where I’ve heard them say that sex is so special and intimate that they only have sex if there’s a genuine connection between both parties while refuting the claim that they aren’t whores and don’t sleep around with random guys. Is this an issue of comfort, or is this just a way a woman would lead on a guy falsely with her semantics in hopes that the guy would invest in her financially despite having no real intentions of having sex with him and simply confusing him with the false promise of sex in attempt to extract resources?

    At what point should a guy cut-off the interaction with a woman if he believes he is being lead on falsely? There are plenty of women who will sexually tease a guy enough to keep him hooked to prolong the relationship in attempt to extract resources. But often, women will phrase this as being a comfort issue and wanting to get to know the guy, and is often met with a woman rejecting a man’s sexual advances while some sexual advances are welcome. In the end, women will resort to the same rhetoric of “all men are the same”, “I though you were different”, “we had something going on”. Is this a comfort issues or simply a woman leading a man on to extract resources despite having no real interest in having sex?

    Reply

    1. Diffeent women have different needs and opinions. Most women will give you that rhetoric though, regardless of their actual behaviour.

      You shouldn’t be “investing financially” in a woman before sex though. Comfort usually means good conversation and sharing experiences.

    2. As a general rule of thumb, I’d suggest you never spend a non-trivial amount on a woman. For instance, this means cheap coffee dates instead of expensive restaurants. A woman who does not put out and does not do anything, not even make out with you, has no sexual interest. You can very quickly find out if she’s only interested into your money if you escalate. Sure, you’ll get the kind of guilt-tripping you describe if she’s not, but it’s bullshit. She would not resits if some super-hot guy sat next to her. Also, you need to experience how quickly women are willing to have sex. This ranges from minutes, in the case of hardcore club sluts to hours in the case of regular girls. In the West, it’s rare that a woman lets you wait more than a few days if she’s into you.

  17. Hey guys – question(s) on style and dressing up.

    What is the ROI on dressing well and developing your style? Some years ago I went from wearing ill fitting clothes and not giving any thought to matching my garments to wearing properly fitting clothes (tailoring when necessary) and putting some effort into matching my outfits. Roughly I got myself into the top 10-20%.

    Lately I’ve developed some interest in taking this further. I want to get into the top 1-2%. Currently people compliment occasional pieces or outfits, but I want to be thought of as a stylish guy, which I don’t think people would say that about me right now. This is taking considerable time, effort, and financial investment, so I’m wondering how much it will pay off or whether I should think of it as a hobby that I do for its own sake.

    Related to this is the question of not just dressing better, but also dressing UP. That is shifting your wardrobe away from more casual dress towards more formal dress. I feel more comfortable in casual clothes, but more formal attire has its charms.

    Does dressing better and dressing up change how you think about yourself, thus making you more confident/disciplined etc. Any first hand or at least second hand experience?

    Does dressing up make people treat you better to the point that your life is significantly altered as a result? It’s definitely important in certain professions, but being in tech for example, in some startups dressing up too much is frowned upon.

    How much do girls value going from top 10% to top 1%?

    Note that I’m not talking about mindlessly following fashion trends, but rather developing a sense of style that is more sophisticated and polished.

    Reply

    1. Clothes don’t change your confidence level. (I feel great no matter what I wear.) Of course, if you’re wearing a hoodie in a room full of suits, you better be Mark Zuckerberg. Well, even he has changed and wears suits for important public appearances nowadays.

      I don’t think you can say that people treat you better if you dress better. Instead, they don’t give you a negative response, which you will get if you don’t dress in a way that is appropriate for a setting. Your example of start-up culture is a very good one. I once had an interview with a smallish start-up and showed up in a suit. The interview never really got started. Instead, I had the CEO and CFO tell me about my clothes representing the wrong values as well as attitude.

      How much would going from 10% to 1% cost you, and would it even matter? To give you a simple example: does a guy in the most expensive suit but an average face look better than a guy with a great face and merely an expensive suit? Frankly, min-maxing is a fool’s errand. You’re a lot better off getting rid of obvious deficiencies. Certainly, if you’re willing to sink tens of thousands of dollars into your wardrobe, then cosmetic surgery is also an option. Do you have a fantastic face? If not, how well do you think you’d do with a great jaw in your top-10% clothes?

    2. Some years ago I went from [being average to the top 10%]

      Lately I’ve developed some interest in taking this further. I want to get into the top 1-2%.

      I don’t know shit about clothes, so I’m just going to comment on the above… it’s a very common instinct. That’s how guys end up in “minmaxing hell” and micro-optimizations.

      There’s a rush you get when you go from average (or below average) to top 10%… and it feels so good getting such a boost in feedback and results, so it’s a natural inclination to go “I want some more of that, let me take it to the top 1%”.

      Everybody’s natural inclination is to say this… however it’s illogical. The logical thing to say to yourself is “hmm, that rush from getting top 10% was amazing, why don’t I find another area I can replicate it in”.

    3. When I saw guys who dressed too well, I kinda stayed away because I thought the time they put into their appearance, or their vanity, indicated misplaced priorities. It’s possible that I was also intimidated though, and didn’t think I could look as good beside them. I also knew that I didn’t want to spend as much time and effort on my dressing as they did.

      What’s always appealed to me more in men’s dressing has been casual outfits with a good figure and being well-groomed. But this is just one woman’s opinion, and I don’t know what waters you’re fishing in either.

      Fun fact: Aaron was quite disheveled at our first meeting :p In fact he was in baggy clothes and had messy hair after working out. Didn’t hinder him from reeling me in though (and me biting)…

    4. I’m quite certain I was sweaty, too. For context, my “baggy clothes” she is not referring to the style of clothing that is popular among urban youth. Instead, I wear worn-out clothes to the gym. I think there’s a hole in my workout sweater. So much for maximizing your appearance for picking up women.

    5. Thanks for your replies guys.

      There is a strong element of hobby-like interest that I developed with this whole style thing. A kind of means of self-expression. This last sentence would have sounded corny to me a few years back, but that’s how I see it now.

      It doesn’t require me spend much more on clothes than I already do – maybe 20-30% more, but not double or triple. The thing is that it takes time and effort, so I want to be clear in my mind whether this is will be providing a significant ROI or if it’s just a hobby for its own sake.

      I don’t have any other obvious deficiencies :))

    6. I don’t have any other obvious deficiencies :))

      I think Aaron meant other areas where you’re mediocre/average. I doubt you’re in the top 10% on every metric. If you are, congrats, you’re probably having orgies every other day 😛

    7. @Alek

      Sorry for the late response I was too busy having orgies 😉

      But you’ve made me reflect… Am I in the top 10% on every metric? It depends on how you define the metrics I suppose, but…

      – I am in the top 10% in income (software engineer in the U.S.)
      – I am in the top 10% in fitness: 5’11”, ~15% body fat @ 170 lbs with decent muscle.
      – I am in the top 10% in terms of clothes/style/hygine/grooming.
      – I am in in the top 10% in terms being able to hold a conversation.
      – I am in the top 10% of status within my niche.

      Where I could improve:
      – I could shave off some rough edges when I socialize with people. Sometimes I say shit that I find amusing that offends people or makes them feel awkward. It’s a personality quirk. I used to be worse, but there is more room for improvement. So I guess that takes me out of the top 10% in the “social skills” metric.
      – I could penetrate another niche and get to top 10%, but not currently motivated to do it.
      – Most important: I could work some internal emotional issues. Maybe work with a psychotherapist for a bit. Not sure it will help me get laid more, but it should make me happier in general. This is where my attention has been focused recently.

    8. @Alek

      I get laid more and more easily than the average guy. I just still have unrealistic expectations. It’s like intellectually I understand that I can’t expect every chick I make a move on to fuck me. But emotionally I still take rejection to heart.

      In the past when I was brainwashed by PUAs I expected that when I get enough “pickup skills,” I will be able to pickup literally any woman in any situation. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but that is really what I was working towards. Naturally, having unrealistic expectations set me up for disappointment.

      Intellectually I’ve long since understood the error of my ways. But on some deeper emotional level I still feel the sting of rejection more than I’d like to. Hence my comment about potentially working with a psychotherapist. (Childhood issues… blah blah blah).

      It also didn’t help that I used to approach chicks indiscriminately and accumulated a lot of rejections.

    9. As for the whole clothing/style thing. Yeah you guys have helped me clarify that it definitely doesn’t make sense to do it for the sake of getting laid more. It only makes sense to do it if one has an intrinsic interest in it.

      I have this buddy who is stylish with good taste. His dad made clothes. He always puts together these harmonious outfits where nothing is loud and nothing stands out too much, but the whole just looks appealing and makes you feel good. It’s like looking at a beautiful painting or being in a nicely decorated room. He is a tall good looking bastard too, but his style takes it to another level I feel.

    10. Just to be clear, I was just responding in general.

      I might actually seem like “a hypocrite” on this subject since I’m doggedly obsessed with getting into the top 0.1% of a particular niche/industry.

      The difference however is that i’m not doing it to get laid more. Being in top 10% is good enough for that (when combined with being top 10% in other things). Heck I lived a porn-like existence back when I was barely top 20% in this thing plus had top 10% physique.

      I want to get into the top 0.1% out of more deeper drive for personal satisfaction in achieving something at world-class levels. I sink inordinate amount of time and effort in this endeavor.

      Heck, I got fat and lost my physique obsessing to achieve small gains in this one thing. I’m getting laid less for sure being the fat fuck that I’m now. But I’m happier than I have ever been. Going from top 10% to 9.5% gives me pleasure in and of itself, much more pleasure than I ever got cumming in a random slut.

      So yeah, if you minmax a thing for the intrinsic pleasure of it, that’s different. But if your only motive is “get laid more”, that’s when it doesn’t make sense to go past 10%.

    11. To clarify due to bad writing:

      – I used to have top 10% physique and barely top 25% status in a niche/skill… got laid plenty from this combination in that niche

      – I got obsessed with achieving top 1% in this same skill/niche and in the process lost my looks and get less lays… but I’m way happier today…

      Being proficient at something gives me pleasure and satisfaction that no vagina ever could…

    12. @Alek

      I feel you! I got into my niche with the goal of getting laid. But I stuck around because I enjoy the activity and I like the process of mastering a skill. What started happing pretty soon after I got into it is that I started focusing on practicing the skill more and getting laid less.

  18. Does anyone ever seriously thought about investing money in cosmetic surgery?

    I am talking serious surgery, not some small touchs of hyaluronic acid,
    but bones implants, jaw, cheeks, midface, chin… Eppley style

    Reply

    1. While I am not interested in it personally, it is obvious to me that you can improve your looks tremendously with cosmetic surgery. For a guy, chin and nose are most important. If you had to pick one, I’d say fixing a weak chin will give you a much bigger boost than straightening a crooked nose.

    2. Yes, hair transplant. I stabilized with Big Three and now want to get my temples to be filled with hair :=))

      3000 – 5000 € in Turkey (around 2500 – 4000 grafts, depending on the clinic)

    3. @Frank_HH

      I’m balding myself. I’ve looked into a hair transplant. I wouldn’t assume that you’ve “stabilized.” IMO stabilization is a myth. The big three that you refer to (finasteride, minoxidil, ketoconazole) are marginally effective at halting hair loss if at all.

      Finasteride, messes with your endocrine system to block DHT. As much as I hate balding I don’t wanna mess with my endocrine system. Minoxidil (rogain) – have to apply it daily to your head (annoying), a considerable expense – the results are hardly worth it IMO. Ketoconazole – the least potent of the three probably delivering zero results.

      I’ve been balding for 10 years and haven’t used the big three at all and I’ve also “stabilized” in the last couple of years. Except that at any moment it can continue to progress. It’s unpredictable.

      The point of stabilizing before a hair transplant as I understand it is so that you don’t continue to bald around your newly transplanted hair, which would then look weird and require an additional hair transplant to fill in the gaps. And so on indefinitely.

      This is the main reason I’ve passed on a hair transplant. I just shave my shit. I’ve looked into micro-pigmentation, but it doesn’t look good/natural IMO. The man who actually solves the problem of balding will become a billionaire.

    4. You guys that are balding, Should give a look at hair prosthesis. Could be a better option than transplant expecially if you are at nrw 3 or more.

    5. @Gmoney

      It’s not for you to assess if I’ve “stabilized” or not. Stabilization is real if you are a good responder (depending on your individual genetic make up). The big three stopped my hair loss and thickened my hair and I even regained some hair in my temples.

      I use Finasteride as a topical, 0,025% (m/V), 2 ml daily. Finasteride and Minoxidil generics are not expensive. The contrary is the truth: https://www.biovea.com/de/product_detail.aspx?PID=3954&deptid=0&cid=0&OS=204&NAME=minoxidil-5–foligain-haarneuwuchs-behandlung-fur-manner–12-fl-oz–360ml-6-monatspackung

    8. @Frank

      Aight.

      I just don’t believe the big three are reliable enough to be sure of actual continued stabilization, but I’m not trying to argue with you.

    9. @Gmoney

      >>I just don’t believe the big three are reliable enough to be sure of actual continued stabilization, but I’m not trying to argue with you.<<

      Did you at least try? Try it for at least a year and see if it helps 😉
      You can apply Finasteride as a topical! ;=)

      a 0,025% (m/V) 2ml/d Finasteride solution will lower your DHT by only 25% and not 70% (oral). DHT suppression in the scalp is the same for 0,025% (m/V) topical solution and 1mg oral pill.

    10. @Frank_HH

      When I first started blading I used rogain, rubbing it on my head every day, but after a few weeks I just got fed up with it. I found it annoying to have to do it every day. I’m pretty sure if I tried a new regimen where I also added topical Finasteride and/or Ketoconazole I wouldn’t last a week lol. In fact, I just can’t even bring myself to start.

      I don’t like balding, but I hate the whole “trying to save my hair” routine. I think it’s just not for me. I hate the mental energy and the daily commitment it requires. I also hate that it constantly focuses my attention on the balding process.

      In the last two years I haven’t noticeably gotten balder, or maybe I have, but haven’t noticed. But in general we know that there are periods of “spontaneous remission.” So if I had been doing a hair saving routine this whole time, how would I know that it was due to the routine rather than “spontaneous remission?”

      I haven’t reviewed the literature in a long time, but from what I recall in controlled studies the effects on hair loss are mild to non-existent. Also we must keep in mind that just like big pharma these studies are likely to have been fudged.

      If I could just get a hair transplant and then forget about it, I would do it. But the balding around the transplanted hair bit and the need for periodic touch ups is a deal breaker for me.

      I’m holding off for new technology to eventually save me 🙂

    11. @Gmoney

      It’s annoying to apply it to your scalp everyday, but it is also a matter of habituation and routine. You have to incorporate it into your work-day, the same as tooth-brushing ;=) For me it’s like 2 minutes daily (each morning!) to apply the topical solution. That’s okay.

      I don’t have three different solutions. I dissolve Finasteride in Minoxidil-solution. ;=) I use Ketoconazole shampoo once a week.

      Yes, the whole “trying to save my hair” routine is definitely annoying, but it gets less annoying when finally getting some good results ^^.

      I’ve been waiting for the baldness cure for about 15 years and nothing useful emerged so far and I doubt that it will come within the next 50 years. They’ve been talking about “baldness cure in 5 years” for more than 50 years ago, way before the moon landing ^^ *lol*

    13. @Gmoney

      Some funny shit: “God’s punishment for bald shamers in the Bible”:
      https://youtu.be/O_dJUCl1OiU

      I had already listened to this podcast with Joe Rogan and Douglas Murray where our bald brother makes fun of this story in the Bible, in which a bald guy gets mocked by kids calling him “baldie! baldie!” (yeah, that kind of shit is even in the Bible) and then God summons a female bear to eat them. :=D

      “He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.” – 2 Kings 2:23-24 ESV | https://www.openbible.info/topics/baldness

      This might sound a bit weird if you’re not familiar with his analysis but I thought it was interesting to post it on this blog. Anyway, I’m glad God is on the side of baldies 😆

    16. @Lucas

      Dude – I don’t have a clue what stage of norwood I am. All I know about norwood is that it’s a classification for stages of balding, but I never cared to see what stage I’m at. But I’m not like super bald (yet). The top of my head (not the crown) is where I’m balding the most and it’s expanding outwards from there.

      Why do you care? What stage are you? 😉

    17. @Frank_HH

      Not surprised to hear that on the Joe RogAIn podcast. I always wanted to call him rogain. Finally you’ve given me the chance!

    18. @Lucas

      >>Yep, synthetic hair (or even human hair) to regain a full head of hair withouth any surgery<<

      I wouldn't like that. You have to glue that shit onto your scalp. You can't go swimming, you can't do sauna, and you have to change it regularly. And it's pretty expensive.

      As for my Norwood stage: 3 diffuse thinner.

      @Gmoney

      hahahaha, Yes, Rogan, Rogaine… I've always thought of that ;=)

    19. I am just nrw 1 but i am 23y old.

      You guys should really give a chance at hair pieces. They evolved, cost a lot less. Where i live synthetic one cost 150-250 each and last a lot of time. Even faceandlms talked about it in one of his videos.

      Also keep in mind that if you are past nrw3, a transplant hardly will bring you back to nrw1

    20. @ Lucas

      The idea of walking around with synthetic hair glued to my scalp does not appeal to me in the least!

  19. I’d do teeth, but that’s about it. I wouldn’t do anything else, as there is too much risk. And on top of that, I’m pretty sure that you have to get plastic surgery re-done or touched up every few years. You never know what your financial situation might like like 10-15 years down the line, when you might need to go under the knife again for a touch-up.

    Reply

    1. Btw: I didn’t know that he has two children. I was only aware of Mikhaila, who, according to some information on the internet, was addicted to Heroine? Is that true or misinformation? Her take on recreational drugs (blog!) is hilarious! Jesus fuuucking Christ. What the frack…. :=D

      Single mother with addiction problems and selfie-addiction / attention whoring. *WOW*

    2. Thanks for the article recommendation. I definitely enjoyed it. You know, my father died last year due to Parkinson’s end stage (cause of death: aspiration pneumonia), but I never went on Benzodiazepines to numb my sorrow and emotions. It was a difficult time, but I got over it and life goes on. And someone like Jordan Peterson will tell everyone to “man up” and stand your ground. Ridiculous.

      Okay, he might have endogenous (genetic depression), and therefore be dependent on antidepressants for the rest of his life, I give him that, BUT as someone who has taken antidepressants and visited psychiatrists, he should know that taking Benzodiazepines for longer than 4 weeks might lead to severe addiction! In Germany psychiatrists won’t hand out Benzodiazepines easygoingly, and if they do, they will give you a mere two-weeks-portion. Every psychiatrist and every MD will tell you about the risks of Benzodiazepine addiction.

      Regarding Depression: There are probably many reasons for “depression”, ranging from monoamine disregulation, HPA axis disregulation, gut bioma, psychosocial factors to lack of Vitamines and so on. Some might be inherited, some might be a reaction to life circumstances. “Depression” is more like a collection of different medical conditions with similar symptoms. It is a complex issue. ^^

      As far as I know, his daughter was addicted to Heroine? Is that true?

      Regarding the topic of addiction: I myself am a person who doesn’t get a kick out of any drugs, so I don’t take them. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do other drugs. Maybe my dopamine-system is supersaturated or I am a slow or rapid metabolizer of certain CYP 450 metabolizm enzymes. Who knows. Not sure if it’s my personality or my genetic make-up, but thanks God I am not prone to liking drugs.

    3. @Sleazy

      Btw: I didn’t know that he has two children. I was only aware of Mikhaila, who, according to some information on the internet, was addicted to Heroine? Is that true or misinformation? Her take on recreational drugs (blog!) is hilarious! Jesus fuuucking Christ. What the frack…. :=D

      Single mother with addiction problems and selfie-addiction / attention whoring. *WOW*

    6. @Sleazy

      The field of antidepressants and psychotropic medications is a confusing one with lots of misinformation and industry-propaganda. Most newer antidepressants (e.g. SSRIs, serotonin modulators and stimulators) are less effective than older drugs (TCAs, MAOIs). The industry tries to push patented crap into the market via fake studies because with older meds there is no big money to cash in. Truth is that combination therapy of older drugs, e.g. an irreversible non-selective MAOI like Nardil, Parnate combined with a stimulant or something like Amitriptyline has very high remission rates, even with patients who had life-long depression! Also stuff like Clomipramine (most powerful SNRI, with anticholingeric and 5HT2-antagonistic properties) combined with GABAergics like Pregabalin has very high remission rates.

      Another matter: antidepressants are over-prescribed and doctors are too quick to give mildly-depressed people antidepressants. Antidepressants should only be prescribed in case you are heavily depressed. But today it’s like “Hey doc, I’ve been feeling bad for two weeks because my girlfriend left me! Might that be depression?” – “Hmm, maybe. here, have an Sertraline prescription! That will help!”

    7. The story which i found more interesting, it was only mentioned briefly here in the commens a while back… was Ben Shapiro’s slutty sister. That was way more fun for me.

      If you haven’t looked it up, you’ll have fun.

    8. @Alek

      >>If you haven’t looked it up, you’ll have fun.<<

      Do you have the link? I need to see that! :=D

  22. This is the woman Jordan Peterson raised:
    https://i.redd.it/hamakdhfumt31.jpg

    The context is that she uploaded a video in which she goes through all the meds she is taking. The staggering list contains anti-depressants, opiates, and anti-herpes medication. She’s total trash, and that’s without taking into account that she is a single mom, now dating some dude who presumably only fucks her because he has a boner for her father.

    Reply

    1. I didn’t look into it, but I noticed her “sexy” revealing photos online, probably just for attention whoring (“Look at me how sexy I am)”. The official excuse for posting half-naked photos online is her so called miracle “Lion diet” *lol*

    1. Isn’t it the case that psychopathy and criminal behavior correlate positively with testosterone levels? If so, then higher T-levels are probably the underlying factor that is being measured. This is just some speculation based on applying Occam’s razor.

    2. There is also the issue of how psychopathy was “measured”. We associate the concept with aggression but often times the score is a sum of items such as “I feel bored” or “I don’t plan ahead”. Actual aggressive and manipulative behaviors are usually only a small part of the total score.

      Problem is that true psychopathic behaviors are so rare that researchers have to focus on “latent traits” such as excitement seeking or lack of planning. At that point the measurement becomes very different from the common perception of what psychopathy is.

    3. @Sleazy
      >>Isn’t it the case that psychopathy and criminal behavior correlate positively with testosterone levels? If so, then higher T-levels are probably the underlying factor that is being measured. This is just some speculation based on applying Occam’s razor.<<

      hmm, good point. Didn't think of that.

  24. I know that this forum is maybe not the best place to ask this question, but on the other hand an IQ here is way above the average and there is a high chance that some experienced software developer is reading this.

    So I’ve passed the first interview – codility test which constituted of writing two quite hard algorithms and one sophisticated sql query.

    Now, I was invited to the second and last interview and in description they write that:
    “We will talk about System Design and they will ask me to design a solution to some problem”.

    I have degree in CS and have some experienced as a programmer but, I must admit that I haven’t had to design any ‘System’ so for and can struggle a bit here. Does anyone know any good books/blog posts that can help here me understand how to approach such a problem?

    Reply

    1. A majority of people who have booked me for consultations works in software development. You’re in good company here.

      What were the two algorithms about?

      “System design” sounds like software architecture along the lines of, “How would you design a web crawler?”. This is an example of high-level design. Run a search for top-down and bottom-up software design to get you started. However, I would ask that company to clarify it, because they may instead quiz you on so-called design patterns, which are examples of low-level design. There is a classic book on the topic with the title “Design Patterns”, commonly referred to as the “Gang of Four” book. Personally, I think that a company that is fixated on design patterns and object-oriented programming should be avoided. In my opinion, most design patterns address deficiencies in a particular programming language and point to a much bigger problem.

    2. Check out https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions . Also, don’t worry about trying to get your solution perfect. They are just trying to figure out your line of thinking and how you would approach a problem. If you don’t know something, don’t try to bullshit your way through it. Just tell them you don’t know, but offer how you would go about finding a solution; i.e. reaching out to someone more experienced.

    3. Actually for me the problems were not really hard, but surely there are some ‘Senior Developers’ who would struggle with them.

      I find the problems using web search.

      First problem is described here: https://www.geeksforgeeks.org/merging-intervals/ – I get 100% for performance and 100% for correctness.

      Second problem is here: https://www.geeksforgeeks.org/root-leaf-path-maximum-distinct-nodes/ – I get 0% for performance and 100% for correctness.

      For the second problem I used recursion in Java which is why I think get this ‘0% performance’ as the recursion in Java doesn’t have optimization one can find in functional programming languages.

    4. Thanks! I’ll check them out.

      Tree traversal without recursion is painful and shouldn’t be done as a recursive approach is much more elegant and easier to reason about. I think it would reflect poorly on a company if they asked you to do the former as this would hint at them being more interested in letting you jump through hoops than assessing your technical skills.

    5. @TheRealAssanova
      “If you don’t know something, don’t try to bullshit your way through it.”

      This one is good piece of advice.

      @Aaron

      At my current job I am writing scripts in Tcl language (procedural programming), but I’ve got tired of this and looking for a new job.

      I’ve already got one offer as a Java & Scala Developer from middle-sized company – 80 people work there, but there are only 15 developers – most of them looks really skilled and experienced (at least at the Linkedin) so I would have a possible chance to learn from them.

      At the interview for this company they asked me whether I think that ‘Java 8’ new functionalities are obsolete and shouldn’t be use or is it nice they introduced this in Java. I’ve said all the positivies about it and they looked pleased with my answer. However, the company’s software architect is really into DDD (driven-domain design). Is it good or bad sign?

      Java is really dominating the market and as bad as it looks like there is lots of well-paid jobs in it.

      ” In my opinion, most design patterns address deficiencies in a particular programming language and point to a much bigger problem.”

      It’s not only you, there is a paper of Peter Norvig who hold similar views as yours (http://norvig.com/design-patterns/design-patterns.pdf). I plan to dive into it.

      “This is an example of high-level design. Run a search for top-down and bottom-up software design to get you started. ”

      I think they will ask for this kind of design. I will check this out and hope it will help me on the interview.

      Thanks for your valuable advices!

    6. Scala is a good skill to have. Also, it’s a good sign if a company wants to modernize its Java codebase and make use of the functional constructs that were introduced in Java 8.

      Domain-driven design (DDD) is yet another attempt at selling snake oil. All those methodologies aim to get a little bit more out of armies of mediocre developers. The goal is to completely commoditize software development and make every engineer replaceable as those marketing gurus postulate that software development is some kind of recipe to follow. If they are dogmatic about using DDD, I’d view it as a red flag. In general, though, you’ll find it difficult to get any job in this field in which there is not at least some bullshit involved.

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