The other day I heard about a personal tragedy in my extended social circle, along the lines of a friend of a friend of a friend’s personal misfortune. It involves a young couple. Both are in their early twenties. The woman has a reputation of being a slut. Often, this means that other women are jealous of her looks, regardless of her level of promiscuity. In her case, things are a bit different. She has fucked so many guys that she has a reputation even among people she does not know, which leads to outcomes such as a random guy hitting on her and trying to fuck her right away, just because she has a reputation of being very easy. Once she was outraged because a random guy came up to her, asking her if she wants to come home with him. He probably should not have said that he knows that she “likes to have fun.”
It seems that she has thought about what the future holds for her. Thus, realizing that slutting it up until she crashes into the wall is not a viable strategy, she has been trying to change her ways. The next guy she met who seemed suitable for a relationship she wanted to keep and try to make it work. This went well for a while, but then the guy began cheating on her and did not seem to care much about how this affected her. She still stuck around for about a year before she finally managed to end the relationship.
The nature of that guy’s “cheating” is also rather curious because he only made a half-assed attempt of hiding it. She asked if she could go through his phone, and he just did not give a fuck. When she saw a few of the conversation he has with other women, she got upset, but apparently not upset enough. I guess he told her to take it or leave it. Thus, she, at the very least, implicitly accepted that her supposed boyfriend banged women on the side.
When I heard this story, I was rather bemused. My first observation was that I would bet money that the man in that story never even viewed her as a proper girlfriend. He was just along for the ride, happy to bang her until she had enough of him. However, there was an even more interesting insight: when I said that guys don’t respect sluts, the woman who told me that story wanted to make the point that it was “different” in that particular relationship because she really wanted to be that guy’s girlfriend.
Well, that is the vain hope of all sluts: they spread their legs until the cows come home and once it is time to settle down, they are quick to spout, “the past is in the past.” If it only were that simple. People build a reputation. Probably the best analogy is personal finance. If you have a shitty credit history, you won’t get a loan with favorable terms because you have demonstrated, over and over, that you can’t be trusted with money. You made your bed, now go lie in it!
Likewise, a woman who has been so promiscuous that she managed to gain a reputation for being, er, of easy virtue has overplayed her hand to a comical degree. Any guy with a shred of self-respect who knows just a little bit about her past will not seriously consider her for a relationship. It is even worse when that guy is personally acquainted with other guys of whom he knows that they have banged his sweetheart. Had that woman only banged guys abroad, she would not nearly be in as bad a position. Yet, being known as a slut in your city — we are talking about a big city — is a genuine achievement that takes years of hard work. I think her best chance is moving away and starting over from scratch.
Of course, she could try to keep dating for real in her current city, but her past will keep catching up with her as she is widely known to be a slut. Heck, behind her back, people refer to her openly as a slut. She has a fairly common name; it’s not Stacy. Her supposed friends call her “Slut Stacy” when she is not around. It’s beyond belief. No guy wants to date a slut. Sure, fucking a slut can be great, even though it is far from guaranteed that a woman with a high partner count is good in bed. Putting a ring on such a woman, on the other hand, is a laughable proposition. No guy with even just an ounce of common sense and experience would do it.
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Had an experience like this where I saw text messages between a guy acquaintance who fucked the girl I started sleeping with.
He showed me messeges between the two of them when he was trying to orchestrate a 2 on 1 and show that she wanted one. I wasn’t interested but wanted the wake up call that I needed. This made it all the more odd when she was so confused I didn’t consider her gf material. Your article about girls with tattoos helped me kinda understand her behavior a bit better.
Even if they aren’t boning other dudes, I just assume they are so I’m not so blindsided in the future.
Sluts are a liability to both men and the tribe. Thats why people don’t like them.
Hey, I need a bit of clarification on your post, do you mean it’s not a guarantee that women who’ve slept around for years might not necessarily be good in bed? I thought they were….
https://www.nytimes.com/projects/2013/tomato-can-blues/index.html
There are Boxers/MMA Fighters who have fought hundreds of fights but have victories that can be counted on one hand. (or sometimes even zero).
Unfortunately,Experience doesn’t guarantee you get git gud. You can apply the same logic here.
Yes, this can indeed happen. You also see a similar effect in young and very attractive women sometimes. Guys get so turned on by their looks that all she needs to do is lie there. This can be a bad habit to shake off.
I used to work with a very attractive girl who commuted about a half our for work. I told her “that sucks.” She said it’s cool because nobody knew her in my neighborhood, and everyone knew her in her home town. I immediately knew what she meant. She even drove a boyfriend to suicide from what I could gather. I stayed away from her despite her physical allure. Not even for one night.