The other day I found myself in a business meeting. We were mostly a bunch of new faces to each other, so we took turns briefly introducing ourselves. Of course, to make things a bit friendlier, we followed up the brief summary of our respective professional backgrounds with one or two sentences about our personal interests. I told them that I am interested in politics. That was a bit of an overgeneralization, but it was nothing compared to what some token woman said. She claimed that she “loves working out.” You may now think that there is nothing odd with a woman claiming that she loves working out. Yet, the problem was that she did not look the part. She could easily lose 30 pounds. The idea that she is breaking a sweat at the gym is laughable.
As I demonstratively looked away from her, I thought of other occurrences where women tell you complete bullshit about their interests. For instance, if you do a bit of online dating, you have probably come across countless profiles of women who claim that they like hiking or “enjoy nature”. In my profile, I used to write that I like Kafka, referring to the author Franz Kafka who is indeed one of my favorite authors. Somehow, this made some women tell me that they “like reading.”
It is very easy to claim something. It is a lot more difficult to make a plausible claim. For giggles, you could probe a little bit when you come across implausible statements. You will find that a woman who writes that she enjoys swimming but who does not look like she is much of a swimmer is just telling you what she thinks you want to hear. They don’t seem to even factor in that they may have to put their money where their mouth is.
I just mentioned swimming. I used to swim religiously in my early to mid-twenties. I had easy access to an olympic-size pool and spent about an hour, three to four times a week, swimming back and forth. It is a wonderful meditative experience. I even made a few friends back then, such as a Japanese guest professor who taught me an energy-efficient freestyle stroke. It was a great hobby to have, but then I moved to Berlin where I no longer had easy access to a pool. Yet, one of the girls I (briefly) saw back then squealed, after I dropped that I used to swim somewhat seriously, that she also “loves swimming” and suggested that we go to a swimming pool together. I did not mind that, but it turned out that she had dramatically overestimated her proficiency. She did not even manage to cover the entire length of the pool one single time, which she found deeply embarrassing — and then she hissed that this was a “stupid idea” and that I should have taken her to a water park instead. Needless to say, I moved on quickly.
I think there is a pattern. Instead of telling you what they really like, i.e. gossiping, shopping and watching TV shows, women want to a) look more interesting in general and b) also look more interesting to particular guys. Thus, they have those generic hobbies that have a wide appeal like hiking and once they know what a particular guy wants, they suddenly discover entirely new interests as well, such as reading, politics, or philosophy. In general, you should do yourself the favor and not probe too deeply. By and large, it seems that the average woman only wants some kind of positive feedback that she identified one of your interest, nothing more. Of course, that realization may be quite a disappointment.
Did you enjoy this article? Excellent! Here are some further steps to consider:
1) If you want to read more from Aaron, check out his excellent books, the latest of which are Sleazy Stories II and Meditation Without Bullshit. Sleazy Stories III will be released in April 2019.
2) Aaron is available for one-on-one consultation sessions if you want honest advice.
3) Donations for the upkeep of this site are highly welcome.