I recently had a very interesting conversation with a client who sought some advice on his marriage. To quickly summarize his situation, he is very well off and owns a multi-story house within the boundaries of a global city. We are talking about real estate worth millions of dollars. They have three floors and six bedrooms. However, the number of kids they have is not nearly enough to fill up all that space. His wife is a stay-at-home mother.
You may think that a woman like that would be eternally grateful for the golden cage she sits in and work 24/7 making sure the house is perfectly clean, the fridge stocked with fresh ingredients, nutritious meals are provided, and the balls of her master emptied on a regular basis. Alas, that is not what happens.
First of all, she refuses to have a maid in the home who would clean. Her concern is that her husband may just start banging some tight mestizo instead of her flabby ass. Not getting laid is one thing. However, sitting in a dirty house is another and that is the fate of this baller. You have to understand that the wife has a really busy life, going shopping and gossiping with her girlfriends. She really can’t be bothered with wiping floors and dusting furniture, or not more than absolutely necessary. Thus, this efficiency expert insists on not using the third floor at all. The living space up there is simply off-limits. There is nothing up there except an ever-increasing layer of dust.
If a woman does nothing productive all day, could you at least expect her to work on her cooking skills and aspire to reach the level of a decent local chef? Nah, bro, you have to get real! Instead of taking pride in providing healthy food for her family, she has towers of packs of frozen pancakes in the freezer and warms them up. Then she puts a jar of orange jam on the table — and that’s breakfast during the week. Once the kids are gone for school, she heads out to have brunch with her ladies at some upscale place in the city.
You may now wonder how you even get to the point that you bring home wads of cash only to be humiliated by a chick at home who does not even fuck you anymore. Not standing your ground is one issue. The moment your wife brings home frozen food is the moment you throw that shit right in the trash and ask her what the eff she is doing. Feeding ready-made food to kids is child abuse in my book. Pumping them full of carbs and sugar is downright scandalous. I guess that is what you get if you marry some hot piece of ass from the underclass because you are thinking with your dick. It’s worse when your parents think that since you’ve been doing well academically and professionally, you know what you are doing. A bit of parental guidance would have gone a long way here.
If she refuses to clean, get the hottest maid you can find. The idea that you paid a ton of extra cash just to get an entire floor that remains unused is ludicrous. What is worse is that there are no real solutions to those problems in the Western world. She is most likely very aware that her husband can’t really do anything to change the current situation as long as he is not willing to get rid of her. However, there are some things he can do in order to prepare for the big day. In his case, since she is adamant that she is the perfect housewife and mother to their children and does not see anything wrong, I advised him that the easiest option might be to stick it out for a few more years until the kids are off age so that he does not have to bother with child support payments. Then, have a long talk with your tax lawyer and discuss ways to protect your finances. A former client of mine has set up a trust. He said that if he ever married and divorced, that money would be off-limits. I am not a financial advisor and the above does not constitute financial advice, so talk to a professional if you’re rich and don’t want to be cleaned out during divorce. Just to put things in perspective: the billionaire Elon Musk got rid of his wife for a few measly millions so and a Tesla car (lol) — he pays a crapload of “child support” though, I think around $80k/month. Maybe his approach scales with income and millionaires can get rid of their wife for a few ten thousand bucks in total.
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As I continued reading this, I got reminded of the wife in the 80’s – 90’s sitcom Married With Children, with the two key differences that the husband, Al Bundy, was the complete opposite of a baller and he actually was the one refusing her for sex. Of course, Peg Bundy was over the top and played for laughs, but the woman in this anecdote sounds awfully like her real-life counterpart.
In another matter, since the two posts about Aaron and his future parenting are fairly recent, I was a bit surprised that he brought up the “nuclear option” without consideration to the actual children. I mean, it’s certainly possible to pass money to the kids without motherly or legal interference, but living in another country might complicate things drastically in that regard.
(Nuclear option without consideration to the actual children.)
Men don’t take the nuclear option lightly. However! You are likely to never see your children anyway. Women often keep them away from their fathers and turn them against them. The children are used as a weapon against their own father by the ex-wife and family courts. I’ve known men who sacrificed their hole life’s trying to provide for their children. The ex-wife just spends it all on shoes, handbags and badboys. Blocks all communication with his children. While she tells them their father just didn’t care about them. And that he never payed anything. Christmas and birthday present’s and cards he sends are intercepted and trown away. Or worse presented like a gift from herself or the new boyfriend. These guys have given their life’s slaving away at work. And their children hate them. At some point it’s just better to accept the situation and run. His children were already gone the moment the wife told him “we need to talk”.
@Manuel S: I had a long-term girlfriend who’s parents were divorced. (Red flag) She has always thought her father was some abusive asshole. Turned out he was the typical beta nice guy when she first seen him after 12 years. The guy was living in a small flat while everything he earned was going to his ex-wife. He was ordered by the judge to keep his distance and pay up. After he allegedly attacked the ex-wife’s car with the children inside. Turned out he just ran after the car out of desperation when the ex-wife basically kidnapped them. He had send cards and present’s to his three daughters for 12 years. But they were all intercepted by his ex. My girlfriend always hated her father. It was only after she moved in with me when she finally received her mail. I convinced her to hear his side of the story considering he was making a real effort to make contact. I never seen a guy happier when he first held his daughter in 12 years. Not at all the monster she thought he was. He was just the typical nice guy.
I would completely cut off my children in the case of divorce. I have seen too many men getting played by their ex-wives by using their kids as a bargaining chips. A good friend of mine, incidentally one of the best with women I have ever met, got married, had two kids, and is now either separated or already divorcing. She moved 500 kilometers away, largely to spite him. Their kids are now in a much wores environment than they were before. What does he do? He travels to them every other week. I’d say, go nuclear. Sure, it will be tough for you to deal with it at first, but in the end you will be much better off.
How about Indonesia,?
I know very little about that country, but from what I gather, it is politically less stable than the countries I mentioned in my article.
“A former client of mine has set up a trust. He said that if he ever married and divorced, that money would be off-limits. I am not a financial advisor and the above does not constitute financial advice, so talk to a professional if you’re rich and don’t want to be cleaned out during divorce”
That is correct. The setul is such that you set up a trust. This trust is the owner of a holding/a comoany, which you wire your cash to. You are in the bord of the trust. The trick here is that you personally do NOT own the money, you control it. The money is owned by the company which is owned by the trust. Since the wife divorces you, and not the trust/the company, this money is untoucheable – it’s simply not in your name (but.. tadaaa you have access whenever you want).
A similar thing would be crypto. Technically you don’t OWN the ledger, you don’t own the wallet, it’s not tied to your name. You can control it via the secret key, but shit… just when she wanted to get divorced, you simply forgot it, oh wait, what crypto? what address? that’s just some random public address with no name tied to it. Not mine – could be anyone’s 😛
Wait till the dust settles and then cash out quietly.
It is mandatory to exclude assets owned pre-marriage contracually. E.g. those XRP you bought in 2016 and never sold, have nothing to do with your marriage in 2017 and your divorce in 2018 🙂
@Neutralrandomthoughts: Trust funds use to be save. But not anymore. They already figured out this method. There have already been divorce cases were the trust funds were taken anyway. There’s no save way to get married anymore. The only thing you can do is keeping your money in a third world country. But that’s always a risk in itself. Just like crypto comes with risks. I have been moving money all over Europe, the USA and Asia. Sometimes literally moving bags of cash after my Swiss bank gave me a call that the rules were about to change. It’s a game of cat and mouse trying to keep something for yourself. Divorce cases are great ways for governments to bend the rules in their favour. Once they have an order from a judge to look at your financial assets. They’ll open every door you can possibly hide stuff. So if your wife claims you can possibly have more money hidden. They will jump on that chance immediately. And even the really friendly banks and crypto businesses cant ignore a court order.
@ben I don’t know if it’s possible in US, but in germany you can put the money into a foundation and make yourself the ceo to get a monthly pay-check. The only problem is that nobody owns the foundation, so nobody can take the money out of it anymore – you included. It’s by law not your money anymore and it never will be again and you can never get it back into your private bank account.
The British royal family uses a similar setup. They have trusts that are worth billions, I think the total is unknown. Yet, they can turn around and claim that they are not all that rich and therefore need the support of the taxpayer.
“crypto businesses cant ignore a court order”
Sry but that’s BS.
It’s a freakin blockchain or a ledger. You either got the secret key or not. Who are you gonna call at Bitcoin, to release my tokens? Satoshi?
You think they can call Ripple to release XRP from account xyz?
Sure, if you got your shit lying around at an exchange, then you’re fucked, but who does that? Only idiots.
There are multiple ways to manoeuvre your finances. But rules and markets are constantly changing. That could become problematic if you can’t move your capital. I let a professional handle my stuff. He has the knowledge and contacts to manoeuvre through the minefield. He even makes a good profit for me. I wouldn’t advice people to put stuff in trust funds or other complicated constructions if they don’t know what they’re doing. They are more likely to lose their money than protect it. The same with the stockmarket and crypto. Most people will only lose money. Most people are stupid with finances. They somehow believe they can beat the professionals at their own game. They simply can’t. I’m just lucky to have someone close who knows the game. Otherwise i wouldn’t do this stuff. I would probably just put it in precious metals. That wouldn’t make much money. But it’s probably saver than many other alternative options for amateurs. Gold might increase or decrease a bit. But it will never become worthless.