Some time ago there was a comment on my blog in which a supposed quality guy voiced his confusion that he wasn’t getting laid despite all his quality attributes. He somehow confused “quality guys” with “weak beta simp’. The first question he asked was:
1. What is it about these guys that women love about from the very beginning they meet? There’s no shortage of articles on the internet that argues women are driven to seek these types of guys cause somehow they demonstrate qualities that a quality guy does not possess and are absent in a quality guy.
It is too strong a claim that they “love” those guys from the very start. It has very little to do with love. Instead, it is mere lust. Those are guys that simply make vaginas tingle due to their looks. If a stud like that walks into a bar or a club, there will be women who are more than willing to drop their panties right away. That is why some guys can randomly make out with girls they have not spoken a single word to. A “quality guy” who is lacking in the looks department will never evoke those feelings of lust in a woman. Instead, they will be seen as the safe bet once the Chads and Tyrones have moved on to younger women.
I would say you are in a bad spot if you live in a fantasy world. What is worse is when those people manage to keep up their delusions even though all indications are to the contrary. If you think you are a hot guy but no woman ever looks at you, they could of course be intimidated by you — or maybe you are just not that good looking. Or imagine you believe to be rich when in reality you are in debt up to your eyeballs.
Fishing for an explanation for his lack of success with women, Mr. Quality Guy further asks,
2. What causes these women to over-look a quality guy, and choose these abusive partners (bad boy)?
Well, they will come to the betas eventually. As a “quality guy” you are just not the first, second, or even fiftieth choice when it comes to engaging in reckless sexual behavior. Women seek out beta simps when it’s time to settle down. While they are young and attractive, though, they want to have fun with Chad and his friends. Furhtermore, I would not assume that every guy a woman has readily sex with is abusive.
The big misconception of “game” is that your behaviors can somehow compensate for a lack of looks, money, and status. The claim is to “fake it until you make it”. Yet, genuine confidence is nothing you can fake. Furthermore, you will not become confident by acting as if. That does not even make sense. What is worse, though, is when guys then go on to spout out that “looks don’t matter”, even though that is a line that has been ridiculed too much. Still, some people believe that, like our commenter:
3. Is the quality guy not doing something that is that the bad boy is that is increasing her attraction to him (bad boy)?
Stop with the “quality guy” bullshit already! A quality guy is an attractive guy who has his life together. If you think you are a quality guy because you are “nice”, meaning you let everyone walk over you because you don’t stand up for yourself, you need to take a long hard look at yourself. A real quality guy would not wonder why he doesn’t get laid. Instead, he has women actively showing their interest in him.
It would be ridiculous if you said that you are rich, even though you are poor. Similarly, if a quality guy remains undetected by the woman around him, he is not a quality guy. If your net worth is negative, you’re not rich. You’re poor. If no woman wants you, you’re not a quality guy. That does not mean that every quality guy has to be in a relationship or get involved with women. It is quite possible that they are happy on their own because, surprise, quality guys have something going on in their life and stuff to do. They do not need women to complement them. Yet, to someone studying “game”, that’s presumably yet another thing to fake.
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I like the themes of authenticity you describe using the examples of confidence, and having things going on in one’s life. When I’ve hit personal goals or made positive changes in the past, I’ve always been a bit enamored by how a cute girl that I want has seemed to fall into my lap during those times. Great nuances and logic. Thank you.
“A “quality guy” who is lacking in the looks department will never evoke those feelings of lust in a woman. Instead, they will be seen as the safe bet once the Chads and Tyrones have moved on to younger women.”
Isn’t that a bit harsh? Take for example a wealthy, successful, confident, charismatic, well dressed man with average looks who is the woman’s “type” basically. Are you saying that this guy is always just seen as the “safe bet” and never creates enough lust like Chad and his friends? Just because he is not as good looking as them?
I don’t think women get the hots for average looking guys. You should experience how quickly her panties drop if you really are her type. On the other hand, those well-off safe bets that are supposedly her type will have to jump through a whole series of hoops.
It’s a different kind of attraction. I’ve been on both ends. I’ve had girls pursue me because of status, and because of looks… It’s very, very different.
– Basically when I initially entered a niche I had a top 1% physique, super awkward and weird, no status… chicks pursued me and the first sex was like out of a porno movie.
– Then I focused like crazy on getting status and achievement in that niche… I lost the looks (basically fattened up to 20-24% bodyfat)… which still isn’t fat fat… think the bouncer look…
– I eventually got to a point where I achieved high status (and my confidence and charisma became a lot higher)… and now I got to a point where the chicks are pursuing me again… but it’s a different kind of pursuit. Much more transactional… It’s more like “I’ll trade sex with you in exchange for status”…
There isn’t that “I can’t wait to jump on his cock and squeeze every drop of cum out of him”… It’s the kind of sex that wives have with husbands (I’m guessing)… or that girlfriends have with their beta providers. It’s nothing like the lusty porn-like sex I had when women pursued me for my physique.
“It’s more like “I’ll trade sex with you in exchange for status”…”
Hi Alek, can I ask, what are their expectations in terms of what they want to receive from you?
Do I have to imagine something like she wants you to take her to an important event, where she can be seen with you? Or she wants you to introduce her to someone? That kinda thing? I mean, how does “give me status” look like? That’s be interesting.
Also, how do the “he’s hot, I wanna fuck him”, vs. “he’s got status, I wanna fuck him” initial approaches differ? What does the girl do differently?
Thanks man
It’s mostly the “be seen with him” kind of thing. As well as other ways to get status from being associated with me… like being given certain roles and moving up the ladder. I can tell that if I introduced her to a higher-status guy she’d just monkey-branch over to him… and it did happen a couple of times. She’d band me coz I would be the highest status guy in the niche… but as soon as she got access to a higher-status guy than me, she’d start banging him instead.
I’d need time to think about how to explain the differences, and if I get the time, i’ll reply here again to do it.
But in short… the looks-based one looks a lot more like a porno movie. How she reacts to your moves, the glow in her eyes, her body-language… It’s all very different… That’s the best I can think of right now as my free time is limited today…
Aaron mentioned hoops… in my experience it wasn’t about the number of hoops. It was still the same number of hoops, they were just very different, and it’s hard to explain…
– Like in the looks based one, if I start getting sexual… she’d get all wet and flattered but delay it… and it would look like “I so want to bang you Alek, but I want to delay it so I’m not seen as the total slut that I am, but I can’t wait to bang you, please try 3 more times so we can finally get to fucking”….
– In the status based one, if I start getting sexual… she’d be like “slow down, how much status am I getting in exchange for fucking you?”…
I’m trying to capture in words something that wasn’t in words, if you know what I mean? It’s just different… They don’t actually say these words, but that’s how it looks/feels… Both will put up hoops, but they’re of a different nature.
Looks-based hoop: Please do x so I don’t feel like a total slut for fucking you
Status-based hoop: Do x so as to confirm the exchange of status for sex
Does that make some sense at all? It’s kind of hard to describe.
“I’m trying to capture in words something that wasn’t in words, if you know what I mean? It’s just different… They don’t actually say these words, but that’s how it looks/feels… Both will put up hoops, but they’re of a different nature (…) Does that make some sense at all? It’s kind of hard to describe.”
Thanks. Yes, that makes sense. I’ve seen some niche-high-status guys in Bulgaria. The niche was per definition attracting young women and what you describe fits how I’ve seen them behave with guys. Was a long time ago and my senses were not that sharp back then, but your description fits my memories.
I appreciate your perspective on the authenticity of a quality guy using the examples of confidence and having things going on vs “fakery.”
“Hey if you were it’d be happening to you.”
Always was surprised in the past when I’ve done or achieved something exciting for myself unrelated to women, and seemingly out of serendipity the kind of girl I want at the time falls into my lap.
thank you for your clear cut views.
Ever considered that u mite not be fucking/dating hot chicks because they’re not attracted to your looks? Not even once?
Bullshit like personality and confidence come after you pass the good looks test.
if it were proven to RSD Tyler that looks attract women more consistently, would he tell? Or protect his profits?
BadBoy Lifestyle selling you unscientific tricks to attract women & when they don’t work, advising you buy a bootcamp. Smart!!
They lie!
Women are attracted to: Masculinity, Health indicators, Signs of youth/fertility, & physical attractiveness. Deal With It!!!
There’s no need to fear approaching a girl. All you can do is say hello and hope you have enough looks for her to want to get to know you.
“There’s no need to fear approaching a girl. All you can do is say hello and hope you have enough looks for her to want to get to know you.”
Read “Minimal Game” and you’ll see that you’ve misunderstood how things roll
1. There’s no fear because if you screen well, you won’t be rejected. (chances are minimal)
2. You don’t need to “hope” you have enough looks”, because if you screen well, you know which woman is interested and she only can be interested based on your looks, because she hasn’t seen anything else. Don’t start with “but muuh status signalling expensive watch”. The status she perceives you to have is here projection and does not have to correspond to reality. People project a shit ton of stuff and it’s not always accurate.
Bottom line: Talk to those who are interested, isolate/escalate, have logistics, don’t fuck it up, use a condom.
I was thinking, your looks is important even for heterossexual men’s. People will treat you based upon your looks. Looks open doors and windows for jobs, business…
Good looking people have easy life.
They have it easier. There is plenty of credible research on that topic that confirms everyday observations. Only PUAs doubt it.
So basically If you’re average in looks then what’s the point of trying to pursue free pussy. You might as well just fuck escorts but that gets pricey over time.
I’m in the position where I legitimately can’t tell if I’m good looking or not. My friends say I am though they could just be nice. I’ve had some situation and I get eye contact here and there but I guess I don’t have the sixth sense in sensing if they are legitimately attracted to me or just looking at me randomly….
“I’m in the position where I legitimately can’t tell if I’m good looking or not. My friends say I am though they could just be nice. I’ve had some situation and I get eye contact here and there but I guess I don’t have the sixth sense in sensing if they are legitimately attracted to me or just looking at me randomly….”
You could book a session with Aaron and send him a pic. He’ll tell you where you stand and I’m sure he’ll have some advice how to improve your looks to get more “free” pussy.
But: pussy is never free, so you might as well stick with paying a predefined price for a predefined service.
Consider mixing picking up sluts and fucking hookers. Good combo I tell you. It will drop your neediness level significantly. If you know that on Sunday Agniezka from Poland, who’s 19y old and a 9.5, will make you come and give you a massage for the remaining 58 minutes that you paid for, then uhm… You don’t really have to give a fuck about drunk Suzie in Club XYZ giving you a hard time (no pun intended).
Well masturbation is just fine and free. You don’t fuck the escorts for the physical release… You do it for the psychological benefits that don’t come with masturbation.
And for those, you need a lot less… You don’t need an escort session each time you get horny. Doing it occasionally to reset your neediness by having banged a 9,5 does it.
Some combination of things makes sense as being the best bang for your buck… Like get a cheaper 7 as your sugar baby… Or brothels… Use that for more frequent sex. Combine it with going to a more expensive 9 every so often.
Mix and match to get your cost lower. And if you get some non-paid sluts in the mix, the cost per lay goes down.
Banging chicks without paying for it should become a lot easier when you’re not relying on it. You just take it as it comes up naturally.
Obviously if you were rich only banging escorts each time you’re horny would be ideal.
But making a mix of options will bet you similar benefits in terms of sexual satisfaction… At a much lower cost.
Thanks for the feed back guys,
Ya I’ve message Arron before and will be signing up for the 1 on 1 shortly, just have been very busy with work. I hate to admit it but i do fuck escorts here and there. roughly 15-20 so far.
Thats why I say it’s pricey.
I guess Im looking for a more steady bang but also for a girl to actually stick around and like me. I know it sounds cheesy but im a traditional guy… fuck me right…
Interesting article. Here’s my experience with what Aaron is talking about. I’m a well off public sector employee working in the US and my income last year was 62,000 dollars. Now with that being said I have been conducting a social experiment in which I pretend to be a ex convict that just got out of prison. My crime was aggravated assault and I did three years for it because a man owed me 20,000 dollars. And you would not believe how my response rate has gone way up on sites like Match, POF and OkCupid. And these are professional women who work in the medical field, real estate and what have you. And it’s across all age groups since on Match I put 18-50 on my profile. Hell one told me if we hit it off on the first date she will make dinner for me at her house! That’s never happened for me in real life! Gentleman the game is rigged in the dating market don’t kill yourself for these women. Also the job I tell these women I do is I pick up garbage off the curb for the local garbage company. Aaron what do you think about this? And all of the women I have talked to are attractive for America.
This is really really strange… Women would shun this kind of men in Singapore, ex-convicts and garbage pickers I mean. I get that there’s such a thing as a bad-boy appeal but I don’t understand why it’s still so attractive when at an extreme.
Again it’s what is reality here in America. I have never been to Singapore so I can’t relate to what you are talking about but I have read about their laws and customs and it’s a more disciplined society that I can tell unlike America. America over 53 years ago was very much a good moral society but that’s gone and won’t return until social collapse happens.
@Sleazy’s Gal: It’s not that female behaviour operates differently in Asia. Both Western and Asian women are driven by the same instincts. Most women in their late teens early twenties in Asia are looking for a marriage candidate however. Unmarried 27 year old Asian women are often considered left-over women. Western women however are only starting to think about marriage and family at that age. So a 20 year old Asian girl is often operating with the same mindset as a 34 year old Western woman. She’s looking for a provider. And there is the cultural difference. A Asian girl screwing around with badboys will experience negative social backlash. A Western girl however will be praised for it (you go girl). She will gain social status amongst her friends for having sex with hot guys. And they will keep it a secret for her. Where in contrast most Asian girls will avoid social contact with those girls. Because their own reputation and marriage prospects could be damaged by associating with known sluts.
But how are ex convicts are more hot exactly?
does BEEN in prison is seen as some form as statues?
it not like criminals are physically more hot or are they?
besides jack here claims that he didnt change pics , but only changed his description of his life.
and for it to actually have an effect it should be seen first?
its not like they will believe if u tell them u have billion of dollars? so why telling u are ex prisoner will work assuming it has some unknown merit?
Very interesting study that revealed that your positive personality traits are only taken into account if your are perceived as an at least moderately attractive men:
https://www.livescience.com/58607-mens-looks-may-matter-more-than-personality.html
Great find. Thanks!
@Aaron Sleazy, I have a complaint.
For all the talk about women dropping their panties in an instant for hot guys and not for average guys, there is so little resources on your blog about being that hot guy.
Don’t tell me that I have to book a consultation for this because it doesn’t make sense to do so as this should’ve been addressed in your books all this time.
I am not saying you completely ignored this topic in Minimal Game. But given how easy it is to seduce women when you look good, Minimal Game should’ve been completely about looking good.
If you are confused as to why I am asking this, bare in mind that I am not asking this for myself. But I am asking this just in general.
On the same line, what do you think is the five best ways to look good if your starting point is that of a moderately good looking guy.
I know one is working out. So what else?
I cover this in Club Game extensively.
Yes thanks. I just read Club Game again and found out that it has the answer to my question there itself. Sorry for the mistake.