Gender Dynamics · Men vs Women · Women

The Female Need to be “Liked” at Work

On the note of how your typical woman behaves in the workplace, which I wrote about a few times before, I’d like to add a further thought. Occasionally, women I have dated asked me if I like my colleagues, or if I like my boss. I think that kind of question is completely inconceivable and the most honest answer to it is, “I don’t know. I haven’t even thought about it.” To me, and to any man who focuses on his work, a job is a job. Sure, personality plays some role, but it is a fairly irrelevant one if your work can be objectively measured. How many hours do you bill per week on average? How many new customers did you acquire? How much profit did you make?

To me, personality differences come into play when I look at work rendered. If I see sloppy work by colleagues, I deduce that they are not of much use and can’t be trusted with anything important. On the other hand, if the work is up to par, I don’t care much about the person who did it. They could be at the opposite end in terms of his political views, which is the case with some of my co-workers, and I would not care. Why should I? I am not going to talk about politics at work anyway, and I prefer to spend my spare time without a bunch of guys I just so happen to work alongside in the same building during the day.

On the other hand, with women I notice a lot of concern about how they are perceived by others. This is not based on their work but, I presume, themselves. The problem with this is that sloppy work can’t be excused and it shouldn’t. Besides, I find chatty girls in the office completely annoying. Sadly, you can’t tell them to shut up, so you pretend you are busy and ignore them. In this day and age you sometimes need to tolerate diversity hires, so you either put them in a team whose work is completely irrelevant, or give them tasks that are of very low priority and which can be done by someone else quickly if the need arises. You could euphemistically call refer to this as one of the costs of doing business.

Some men could probably also benefit if they focused on their work first, instead of trying to be friends with their colleagues. Go to work, do your job, go home. On that note, I had a few job interviews where there was a “social component”. After a day of interviews, they take you out to a pub or a restaurant, and then you get to play the entertainer, and they judge you on how “likable” you are. Who gives a damn? Well, I don’t, and that is why I don’t work at a place like that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you can’t get along with your colleagues. Instead, the issue is that you shouldn’t mix your private life and your job. Many women do that, and plenty of guys as well. Tell me that at your company you’re “like a big family” or that “we’re all friends”, and I’m likely to just walk out because the productivity in a place that is dominated by office politics is abysmally low.

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7 thoughts on “The Female Need to be “Liked” at Work

  1. Reminds me of the show The Office. When I watch the show, I wonder how anyone gets anything done. The drama and bullshitting are too much, yet I’ve heard people say they wish they worked there. It’s fantasy, that’s the only way a place like that could stay in business.

  2. Men and women are programmed differently when it comes to social status. Men use to gain status based on their hunting skills. Men are judged by their productivity. Women have never been judged by those standards. Their status is naturally determined by her social connections. Mostly by the social status of the man she’s fucking. People within the tribe wouldn’t cross the woman fucking the alpha. And women would suck it up with those women. Because she could make their life hell if she didn’t like them. Or gain favours from the alpha by influence with the person closest to him. The woman with the highest status within the tribe. Is naturally the one doing less work. She’s taken care of by others. While the man with the highest status had to prove himself in the hunt or in battle to gain and maintain his status. The woman with the highest status doesn’t work in their world. She’s in charge of the village when the men are out hunting. And she makes requests to the alpha on behalf of other women.

  3. It would be interesting to hear your reaction to the work of David Graeber, most recently “Bullsh*t Jobs.” Apparently 40% of modern jobs have no purpose – no one would notice if the positions were eliminated.

    1. Thanks for this comment! I know of Graeber’s original essay on bullshit jobs, but was unaware that he has now written a book on this topic. Skimming the summary on Wikipedia, I’d say that his position is partly misguided because he seems to bash the private sector when, in fact, there are countless bullshit jobs in the public sector. You could argue that a large part of the expansion of government is due to providing make-work for women who spend half their day on social media and the other half on scheming against people they do not like. Also, the universal basic income, which he claims would sole the problem of bullshit jobs, is a ludicrous idea. I intend to read his book and may even review it on Aaron S. Elias’s blog.

    2. I have begun reading Graeber’s book. My first impression is rather negative. That guy cannot make a coherent argument as he is trapped in his own little bubble. I just stumbled upon a passage in which he resorts to the “patriarchy” to explain a particular power dynamic, which had me roll my eyes. This little commie is very smug and seems to think that any kind of work whose nature he does not understand is bullshit, resorting to common leftist tropes like equating high finance to a bunch of leeches. Yet, companies like Google would not have gotten off the ground without venture capital. I bet this sad excuse of an academic is using Google’s search engine all day long, without realizing what a hypocrite he is. To summarize it, an excellent case can be made that David Graeber is a salon socialist who has at best a child-like understanding of the complexities of the real world.

    3. “like equating high finance to a bunch of leeches”

      To be fair, if one was to actually modernize the software of banks and bring it up to date, then he fees would not need to be as high as they currently are. The fact that the infrastructure dates from the 80s/90s and the thereof resulting high maintenance is about the only argument for high fees that flow into some lazy pockets.

      Trusting your assessment of the author though, I doubt that he is aware of the industry specific dynamics. Also, the leeches are getting less. The biggest clean-up was 10 years ago and it’s continuing.

  4. “How many hours do you bill per week on average? How many new customers did you acquire? How much profit did you make?”

    ==> This is probably why you see women predominantly in cushy government jobs. Especially when in government it’s about make-work and feelz…no need to produce revenue.

    But if taxpayer resources dry up… maybe we’ll get a “she-cession”

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