The importance of post-orgasmic clarity in dating

In my last post I, Men who don’t seriously date in their early 20s dodge bullets, I discussed the downfalls of settling down in one’s adolescence. I also elaborated on why it’s a shockingly bad decision to marry a girl your own age, or, even worse, one who is older than you. My appeal to abstain from sex may not find many supporters, even though it is arguably often better for you. Looking back at my own experiences, I can tell you that women were generally not worth the effort.

Thankfully, I got through of my time as a Lothario without illegitimate children or enraged husbands hunting me down with a shotgun in hand. Yet, I wish I sometimes would have been a bit wiser. As many of you who have dealt with a lot of women know, your little head is sometimes a poor guide. You may be in a club, and, with a modicum of sexual arousal, the idea of trying to get into the pants of some tatted up slut with fake boobs that has “white trash” written on her forehead has an irresistible appeal.

As it’s so often the case, literally the moment you cum, you regain clarity and you wonder what the hell you had been thinking. This can lead to potentially weird situations. Let’s say you bang some whore in a bathroom stall, which, at that very moment, appears to you to be your purpose in life — but wait until you have blown your load! Your first thought will likely be along the lines of, “How the hell am I going to get out of that quickly?” It’s relatively easy to disappear in a club. It’s not so easy if you end up at your place.

The latter happened to me a few times. Some of my encounters were downright bizarre. I remember one with a girl I liked enough to want to have sex with her, but afterwards it struck me that I knew barely anything about her, and, boy, was she a pain in the neck. I don’t want to necessarily say that she was stupid, but it’s certainly the case that my tolerance for women who blather nonsense is dramatically reduced after sex. Rationally, you may even be fully aware that you shouldn’t be pursing some “thot”, but, when sufficiently horny, your dick is able to put any objections you might have to rest fairly easily. Frankly, this is a rather serious problem for men. Any guy who ever fucked some club slut raw and happily blew a load inside of her can attest to that. When sober, you’d rather blow your brains out than even entertaining the thought of having kids with her, but when horny, your dick may keep you from thinking clearly. You just won’t think of the consequences of your reckless behavior.

If you only want to get laid you probably don’t care so much whether some whore with a tattoo on her fake tits would make a great mother. However, once you move on to wanting to date seriously, our dick can still get in the way rather easily. The same principle as outlined above applies, though: when horny, eminently unsuitable women will not necessarily appear so. However, there is one weird trick that may make your assessment of a partner a bit easier: rub one out! I’m dead serious. Guys sometimes say, mostly as a joke, that they rub one out before meeting up with a girl so that they aren’t as excited, or so that they can last longer in bed. The latter is most certainly bullshit because if you happen to come a bit too early the first time around, you just wait a bit and then you have another go. The former is rather important, though. Let’s say you are about to meet up with a girl you are interested in. Sexual arousal will obviously cloud your judgment, so what better way than to lower it?

I have found that it makes a huge difference whether you meet a girl shortly after having rubbed one out. In fact, I would even say that this is an excellent way of seeing whether you are really interested in her. Obviously, any woman who is able to hold your attention when you are not horny might be worthy of consideration. On the other hand, if you can’t wait to get your dick wet, then it almost doesn’t matter how dumb the chick you’re talking to is. Your dick will keep you motivated to listen to her.

Let me close with an anecdote about a friend of mine. He once had a big crush on some chick, and he eventually mustered up enough courage to ask her out. He was a pretty well-put together guy, so I wasn’t all that surprised that she was also interested in him. What he later on relayed to me cracked me up to no end. His previous interactions with her were little more than “hi” and “bye” as their paths crossed frequently enough. As he then talked to her, he was so appalled that he took a timeout and disappeared to the bathroom — and then he sneaked out of the bar because he decided that he didn’t want to get exposed to just one more syllable out of her mouth! I think he could have handled this in a more polite manner, but the point stands: you probably make saner decisions with regards to women if you’re not horny.

3 thoughts on “The importance of post-orgasmic clarity in dating

  1. Truth from the mountain!
    Nice to see, how you’re paraphrasing Mr. Schopenhauer in his assessment about the effects of “love” on the sexual judgement of men: that merely due the workings of love and arousal clouding rational male judgement, men would enter into those often highly disadvantageous arrangements with women – which otherwise “would not seem sufficiently justified”.

    1. I didn’t even have Schopenhauer in mind when I wrote that post. Needless to say, that old curmudgeon had a tremendous influence on my life. I can’t praise his writing highly enough.

  2. That’s the reason why looking for “Love” in a relationship is stupid. It’s like investing, never get emotional while investing or you fail. No wonder why so many cultures love arranged marriages.

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