SJWs · Social Justice

Equifax leaks 150m private data sets; CIO is female diversity hire

By now we know that women are better than men when it comes to tech. Meg Whitman has turned Hewlett-Packard into one of the most valuable tech companies on earth, Elizabeth Holmes discovered new and very imaginative ways of administering blood tests, which turned her into the richest person on earth, and Marissa Mayer has made Yahoo so profitable that it was able to buy both Apple and Google. I hear they are about to buy Amazon with this year’s profits! Man, those womyn in tech really know how to make a buck. It’s simply astonishing how fantastic a job women in tech are doing, which is obviously due to their far superior IQs. We have been doctoring with IQ tests for over a century to make sure that men and women have roughly equal outcomes on paper, even though it has been proven beyond any doubt that the average IQ of women would be two standard deviations to the right of the average male IQ, but we are no longer able to deal with truth in society.

This phenomenal string of successes of women just does not seem to end, and we are all better off as a consequence. The most recent example is Equifax, whose chief information officer (CIO) Susan Mauldin is responsible for leaking around 150 million records that pair the credit rating of every working adult in the US with his credit ratings. Now you may think that this is completely disastrous, but hold your horses, you misogynist little prick! As we all know, data wants to be free and nobody has anything to hide anyway. Besides, ID theft has only ever happened in the fever dreams of misogynist men, so there is really no reason to blame Susan Mauldin. Equifax, however, needs to work on its PR. Instead of speaking of a security breach, Susan Mauldin clearly pushed for a very advanced community-based data storage solution. Instead of Equifax being responsible for securing the data, now every Joe, Dick and Harry plays its part. As we all know, there is no such thing as ID theft, so there is no possible way this security breach could have any negative consequences. All those men panicking online because their SSN and credit rating are now publicly available should grow a pair or, much better, grow a pussy because they clearly are deficient and unable to operate in a world in which womyn in tech call the shots and redefine paradigms!!1 All those naysayers are surely white cis-male scum.

Some misogynists online called Susan Mauldin unqualified. How mean of them! Mean, mean, mean! Let’s just look at her LinkedIn, before it disappeared, and form our own opinion about her:

Now we see that Susan Mauldin of Equifax is not only breathtakingly beautiful, looking not a day older than 17, she’s also eminently qualified to be the Chief Information Officer of a giant corporation. Just recall her qualifications! Her career started with degrees in Music Composition at a shit-tier university, yet she still got into tech. This is no small feat! Stupid white men need to buckle down and attend good universities, such as Georgia Tech, and of course also graduate with a relevant degree, but Susan Mauldin was so smart that she could dabble in music at a party school in Georgia for an unspecified number of years and still get hired by a big tech corporation. If you were a man and went to one of the best music schools on earth, for instance Juilliard, you likely wouldn’t get hired as a techie, and rightly so, but womyn are so smart that it doesn’t seem to matter what they study, and they’ll get into tech. Even music at a crappy public university is fully sufficient. I guess it’s true what they say, namely that music is kind of the same as mathematics — because there are uneducated libshits who have no clue of mathematics and somehow think that a fugue of Bach is kind of like manipulating manifolds in higher dimensions.

Also, Susan Mauldin’s career is nothing short of astounding. While stupid white men slave away thanklessly at soul-crushing jobs, decade after decade, working on intricate technical problems, Susan Mauldin got the much more vaunted position of “professional” several times in a row. This surely is an attempt to hide the many outstanding technical roles she had at three organizations before finally getting a position she was incredibly overqualified for: Chief Information Officer.

Yup, guys, we can only throw in the towel. Affirmative action for women and minorities is a myth. We have seen, beyond any doubt, that Susan Mauldin is a technical genius. Men are just not cut out for working in tech. They wouldn’t even think of the genius idea of publicly releasing sensitive data of 150 million people.

23 thoughts on “Equifax leaks 150m private data sets; CIO is female diversity hire

  1. I urge you to write a book about these problems with the above style of writing. It’s so much fun to read. I was laughing out loud reading every sentence. Who knows, you might be considered the next Esther Vilar who is a lot more funnier.

  2. Perhaps I am unfamiliar with the way CVs are written in the US these days, but what the hell is a “professional”? Is that an actual job description?

    1. No, it’s not. She tries to boost her CV, probably not realizing that everybody with an IQ above 90 sees right through her bullshit.

    2. Experian’s CISO (white male) has a background in geology. The problem with incompetence is industry wide, apparently.

  3. BTW didnt the swedish govt leak a catastrophic amount of secret info recently? The person in charge of that fiasco was a woman too

    1. @Sleazy, this question might’ve been more appropriate for an Open Thread, but since we’re touching Sweden…

      I imagine you’ve gotten the hell out of there by now. I mean, it’s getting to a point where the level of hazard is akin to active volcano research or war zone reporting.

    2. If you consider most people (men and women but rather more about the women) who hold high positions and even low positions in the worlds organizations, you do really wonder WTF?

  4. Hey Aaron, I’m a fan, but dude I’ll try to be impartial and biased at the same time. While UGA isn’t shit-tier (I went there) I will say once networking begins…it’s all about being liked. A year ago, there was a career fair, and a recruiter from Wells Fargo gave an interview to this girl just by talking about heels and skirts, I wish I was joking. The recruiter told me to go to sleep since I work 80 hours a week. Most women hate this by the way. I’m trying to break into Investment banking…with a journalism degree, but I have more books of finance and economics than your average graduate student. Peace

    1. Your view of the working world is too idealistic. As a guy, you’ll need proper technical skills to get an entry-level STEM job. With women, this is quite different. You have no idea with regards to the extent the deck is stacked in favor of them. I know of cases (BigCorp) where a technical role went to the one woman who applied to it. She got a softball interview instead of a proper technical one, while all the resumes of men, some of which were highly qualified, got binned.

      About investment banking: if you’re not at an elite school right now, your chances are slim to non-existent. It’s tough enough to break into this field if you come from a name-brand university.

    2. “I’m trying to break into Investment banking…with a journalism degree, but I have more books of finance and economics than your average graduate student.”

      Hahahahahaha! Fuggedaboudit…

      What are you gonna do there with your journalism degree? Write research pieces? Nobody fucking cares about research. And with MiFID II, this is dead anyway. Oh, unless you are SocGen and sell yearly equity research for like $220k per year or some other crazy figure.
      Investment Banking… man this is so a has-been glamurous job. What do you want to be, a trader? Do M&A? Structure boring shit together?
      Oh, you got books. Let me tell you what gets you in: being young (max. 24), being well connected, having an engineering degree with a focus on statistics from a top university, (alternatively a law degree), and a fucking CFA in the happening. Then what you’ll get is a freakin internship for a lousy pay and work your ass off. You’re 15-20 years late for investment banking.
      Journalism, hahahahahaaa you crack me up bro.

    3. “I’m trying to break into Investment banking…with a journalism degree, but I have more books of finance and economics than your average graduate student.”

      I hear similar statements fairly regularly. Yet, when I then ask those people why they didn’t just study the field they are supposedly so incredibly interested in and passionate about, I get blank stares. I am also normally baffled by the incredible arrogance I encounter. Juan’s entire comment is an excellent case in point.

    4. Juan is better off studying blockchain, it will eat investment banking. Besides the boom in investment banking was when the offshore credit based reserve currency the eurodollar continually expanded its money supply to finance the trade flows of globalism. So the dollar became worth less and oil worth more in usd. On the downslope of this expansion of money supply started in 2008 much FICC desks are actually losing money now, even GS. And the usd gains in value and oil drops(yuan is not dropping in value, usd is rising because the money supply of the credit based reserve currency is contracting) buy yuan, buy china!
      I doubt we will see the same global expansion anytime soon again.

      Well crypto is interesting though. And its just getting started. Aaron you have way too little btc in your known wallet. You wont become rich that way.

    5. @Jon
      Great points.

      I particularely agree on blockchain being the big equalizer with regards to many things.
      If we go beyond finance I’d like to think of applications for governmental structures, which would move away from the centralized model they have right now.
      We could maybe see new forms of government funding. Think of it, a company has both equity and debt, but states only have debt. Debt backed by… uhm, police force, contrary to debt backed by assets (depending on where we are in the capital structure) as it is in the case of a company. Now, no state has come up with the idea to IPO itself, but it would be interesting to see small states trying to tokenize their funding. Gotta think about voting rights and citizenship and many other important details, but I think there are better solutions than the endless debt spirale based on the premise of being able to tax the shit out of the future generation’s economic output.

      As for your comment on BTC, while I think that we’re far from the top, I think its limitations in particular the slow nature of proof-of-work as well as the resulting lack of scalability will soon enough have bitcoin make place for better, more use-case oriented solutions. I’m thinking in particular of Ripple, Siacoin and maybe Monero. These three have a clearly defined value proposition, whereas bitcoin is driven by who-knows-what, but mostly anti-bank-crypto-anarchism, it’s neither fast nor anonymus. But yes, seems like it’s a bit similar to the mid nineties and the internet bubble. A couple of them will survive, but many ICOs are pure scam. I just hope the clean up and the rise of the winners will go faster than it took e.g. Amazon to become what they are.
      Interesting times for sure.

    6. @neutral… I wasnt necessarily advising btc itself, I was just trying to bug Aaron for not caring about crypto (it makes me feel superior). In fact I would rather recommend Ethereum. Just last month 150m of Ether became inaccessible due to smart contracts programming bug. And we know bug free software cannot be guaranteed, so Ethereum has built in deflation on top of the cap, due to programmer human incompetence, assuming bugs keep happening and ether goes cold unintentionally. Its also got one of the longest blockchains next to btc, because it was one of the first cryptos, has a known creator, and has an alternative algorithm proof-of-stake planned that may be better for the environment. All these things I like and I think it means Ethereum may reach parity with btc eventually. Yes, I know there are other much easier to program/use smart-contracts-cryptos, but ethereum being harder to program in, can actually be seen as an advantage instead of disadvantage.

      What are the value propositions for Ripple, Siacoin and Monero?

    7. Ripple: crossborder payments AND settlement in 7 seconds, at a 60% lower cost than today. Can handle 1500 payments per second (just like the VISA network), if scaled this number goes up. The consensus (contrary to proof of work) model allows scalability. Internet of Value, micro-payments.

      Siacoin: “decentralized cloud storage platform that uses a blockchain to facilitate payments (…) allows for private, decentralized, distributed cloud storage at a far lower price.”
      The big bet is that they empower the big guys like Amazon S3 one day. It’s early stage and the UI and everything looks like shit. But the concept is great. It’s dirt cheap at the moment. You have to buy through btc, though. No direct fiat exchange (yet).

      Monero: anonymity in payments, practically untraceable

      (the mere fact that one can give an elevator pitch to these three, sets them apart from the other ICO bullshit where one has no clue what they actually do)

      I share your positive view on ETH and I’ll buy some next month. My main exposure is Ripple, though, even if I’m a bit late to the show.

      I’m waiting for tokens for Trade Export Finance to come up. Letters of credit, as well as their syndication and also the whole transactional banking are very inefficient and could massively gain from smart contracts.

      As usual, storage is the problem. Need cold storage, air-gapped. A buddy of mine will have a solution ready by end of the year and will go live with his service. Not everybody wants to deal with setting up a linux offline laptop and physically carrying the transactions on a USB from the cold to the hot computer and send them into the network. But it is what it is, can’t have safety and convenience at the same time.

    8. @neutral hmm interesting…

      What do you think about the morecentralized nature of Ripple? Isnt that actually a disadvantage?

      What if somebody stores illegal/immoral data on the siacoin blockchain? And do you think Filecoin is a ripoff? The same idea of cloud storage was promoted as Filecoin to me which appears to had better marketing.

      How does Monero compare to other anonymous crypto like Dash, Zcash and Zcash forks? Especially ZCash because its supposedly the only crypto created by academics?

      Im afraid blockchain doesnt combine well with credit like the credit used to finance trade. I dont see an enforcement mechanism for debtors. I tried to think of my own crypto that replaces banks because both have the same money-creating function but in the end I couldnt see how to reconcile credit and blockchain. Once the money is in somebody elses hands, how do you get it back guaranteed eventually? Especially because subprime debtors can just create a new wallet and borrow once more.

    9. Jon, sry, I don’t feel like answering these questions. Partly because I don’t know the answer, partly because I think you can find these infos yourself online.

      Just one thing. In Trade Export Finance, the term “Letter of Credit” has very little to do with credit. You seem to misunderstand something.

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