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I have had this situation come up a few times. I join some group/niche and some of the hottest chicks are the head of the organization or high status within it. For example: dance teacher at a dance studio, organizer of an event, head or highly ranked in some organization.
So I always feel hesitant to hit on them because in case we hook and it goes bad, it could close some doors for me. But I don’t know if I’m being overcautious. (I am an anxious person and sometimes it’s hard to judge when I’m being overly cautious).
Maybe not that big a deal and I’m overthinking it.
Have you had this type of situation arise? What are your thoughts?
“What are your thoughts?”
If the activity and venue itself is something you highly value and not just something you do for casual fun/socializing, then yeah, probably better to refrain. unless they outright hit on you first (or showing super, super strong signals. like you know she’d gladly accept a discreet casual arrangement with you), in which case, its probably a good idea to accept if the feeling is mutual. (there may be an expectation of exclusivity though..) Women do not react to rejection very well in my experience, so things may turn sour anyway if you don’t shoot your shot.
Lets see what the others have to say…
“If the activity and venue itself is something you highly value…”
Yea, I guess this is important consideration.
Thinking about it more, if things are awkward or tense I could deal with that. But if I were to be banned from some activity I value due to not committing to some chick who runs things… I guess it could happen, but maybe this concern is overblown in my head.
Don’t risk it.
There are 4B girls on this Earth. I’m sure there are a few others who might suit you. 😉
You should go for it. Cautiously, and with good intentions, as in, you are not thinking just hit it and quit it. A physically attractive woman who is also into your passion is a dream come true. It could be the relationship of your life.
Hi Jessica,
Perhaps the subtext wasn’t clear: I’m not looking for “the relationship of [my] life”. Nor am I looking to hit it and quit it. I want to have have ongoing fb/casual (non-monogamous) relationships that last a few weeks to a few months. In some cases it could extend longer than that.
From the sound of it you’d consider this “bad intentions,” so I am keeping my expectations low. But if you’re able to provide thoughtful advice from this point of view, I’d appreciate it.
Is it likely that a woman high in a groups status hierarchy will turn vindictive and try to ruin my standing in a given group because I have decided NOT to enter a monogamous relationship with her when she wanted one?
Hi Money,
I don’t know if she would turn vindictive or not, but I think that it would get kind of awkward for the two of you to be in the same space. It’s kind of like dating someone from work. Every time you see her face, you will be thinking in the back of your mind “I know what her vagina looks like,” lol. It would just be weird AF to me. Anyway, I would look elsewhere for a casual hook up if I were you. The stakes sound kinda high to me.
I looked up an old classmate of mine (we weren’t in the best of terms, but we weren’t enemies either. I think the only real reason he had a problem with me back then is due to peer pressure. Because the “cool kids” didn’t like me, he had to play along too to not get discriminated.), and oh my god…he’s definitely hit the male version of the wall.
He looked fine in his videos from 4 years ago, but now his skin complexion is like that of the modern age Chris Chan. I’m fatter and older than him, but my skin is significantly better. Combined with the long unkept hair, and he outright looks like a hobo.
It seems like the difference is that 4 years ago, he bothered to actually be physically active, but now it seems like he’s given up all that and plunged full time into his geeky interests. (he’s into Pokemon cards)
I don’t want to come off however as if I’m saying there’s anything wrong with having geeky hobbies. Perhaps in an alternate universe where I never picked up an interest in martial arts, I am probably the same way. I suppose I should count myself lucky that the activity I’ve found myself geeking over about is physical.
Someone I met in college once upon a time also had a huge interest in a niche card game, and I’m shocked how expensive the hobby is. My BJJ hobby right now is actually cheaper. The guy was a total suck up and goody two shoes though. He’s said to me that to him, “there were no bad teachers/professors” when I made a small rant (I was making small talk while getting the project done) regarding the unreasonable attitude of one of our professors.
This put me off bothering with forging any real friendship with this guy. The mainstream likes to glorify “useful idiots” like this. If people didn’t question the status quo, Slavery would still be a thing. There’s nothing admirable about being a sheep.
I think I’ve brought up the thought experiment before here about raising women in a Monastery for the early years of their life, and if that will maximize their chances of growing into a quality woman.
But without going quite that far, in general, do you feel that every woman (this is specifically just about women) would greatly benefit from daily meditation in their early developmental years?
I might very well be overestimating what it could do, but all the common issues of attention whoring and other harmful cavewoman impulses in women might get remedied, or at least minimized, from having serious meditation ingrained in them in their early developmental years. Combined with keeping them away from bad influences and social media.
I am quite confident that there are positive benefits of mediation for children. A much bigger factor, though, is surely their media consumption. If your kids spend five hours a day on their phone then even half an hour of meditation a day would only have limited effect.
This is what an empowered feminist woman looks like!
https://slatereport.com/news/mississippi-woman-sentenced-for-unnatural-intercourse-with-dog/
In the second picture she looks pretty good. She probably had no shortage of suitors. Too bad none of the measured up to her dog.
https://www.reddit.com/r/martialarts/comments/1ixgeu3/capoeira_is_exponentially_more_effective_than_bjj/
Amusing thread, but probably not practical. One of the commenters there is an actual veteran with 15 years of experience in the art saying he rarely ever sees hot girls in the activity, and of those who do come in, they are quickly scooped up by instructors and/or most talented students.
Which is to be expected, the athletic requirement of Capoeira is nothing to scoff at.
To be honest, if we’re looking for the martial art that has the highest number of hot girls, its probably gonna be Taekwondo. It still requires (assuming you actually want to be able to execute all those fancy flying kicks) a butt ton of athleticism though.
Dancing and Yoga are probably still substantially more practical avenues for this.
That post is an attempt at comedy/satire. Not a very good attempt, but an attempt nonetheless. 🙂
As you say, dancing and yoga would be a lot better choices for someone trying to meet girls. Martial arts are probably a poor choice for that purpose.
Posters here mentioned that actress, Michelle Trachtenberg – she was in Euro Road Trip.
Just saw a headline that she passed:
https://archive.is/wip/SZJtG
Damn, this came out of nowhere, and about a month after she and her current looks became a subject of discussion here. No wonder she looked bad for her age. RIP
This is unfortunate. She peaked in her late teens. Like so many other actresses eager to cash in on their looks, her career fell off a cliff once she had gotten past her physical peak. Let’s pour one out for her:
Probably became an alcoholic and lost the last vestige of her looks partially because of that same frustration, plus the other psychological traps that Hollywood brings. Same old story.
You know you’re getting old when you watch the pornstars you used to furiously wack off to as a teen hit the wall. Its actually kinda sad. I found myself thinking “Why on earth are you still in this business? you should have invested that money so you could have gotten outta there!!”.
I made a similar remark elsewhere, but… “who does this thinking they can get away with it forever?”
I suppose leaving the biz comes with its own challenges though. or maybe not. plenty of dudes these days are desperate enough to make a wife out of someone with this kind of history.
@Maou
Retired pornstar Lisa Ann still looks pretty good for her age. She’s 52.
Looking her up led me to this Reddit forum:
https://www.reddit.com/r/PrettyOlderWomen/
I was puzzled that I did not see an infinite scroll of posts with pictures of Pam Bondi. Instead, these people trade pictures of women in their 40s or older, many of whom can no longer be called pretty. Well, “pretty older women” is an oxymoron anyway. A better and more accurate name would have been /r/PrettyOldWomen.
I don’t know what Lisa Ann looks like, and I can’t be bothered to find out right now, but you’ll always have exceptions where women look very good for their age.
Aaron recently pointed out Pam Bondi, who looks amazing for her age. Raquel Welch would be another example.
But those are really rare exceptions. I think they’re probably rarer than one in a thousand.
There are not many stories of pornstars who saved enough money to be able to get out of this racket. This is similar to prostitutes. There is even the cliche that they all just do this for a year or two in order to get enough money for a house or an apartment. Yet, fifteen years later most of them still find themselves sucking dick, sometimes at rock-bottom prices. On a more general note, the kind of woman who goes into porn is probably not the best at judging the long-term consequences of her actions.
Aaron:
“sometimes at rock-bottom prices”
I didn’t think of that, but that might also be a big part of the explanation! I’d guess that a chunky 40 year old woman probably charges less than a hot 20 year old.
No guy would go for the first of those, ceteris paribus, but one might if she charges 50% or less of what the hot young girl does. And then some washed up old hooker sees this, then goes on Reddit to talk about how men really don’t like hot 20 year old women, and actually prefer out-of-shape 40 year old women (whether to intentionally deceive or because she’s actually delusional I wouldn’t know).
Aaron:
That Reddit sub makes me sad. A number of those ladies are women I used to lust for in my younger years, and all that remains are ruins. 🙁 The first sentence of 2 Samuel 1:27 comes to mind – “How the mighty have fallen!”
Either the people there have a different definition of “pretty” than I do, or it’s a haven for people with mature women fetishes. I suspect the latter.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXTSYeUIhsM
This skank is truly a piece of shit.
I don’t think there is any vestige of human left in her.
The Chinese are materialistic, this chick is incredibly psychopathetic.
You may be pushing it a bit hard there, heh, but she’s definitely an asshole. 😀
I find her recording style weird as well. Why is she leaning forward like that through the whole video? Usually when women do that it’s to show off their boobs or cleavage, but she’s actually not showing off anything or being sexy in anyway. It just looks weird and awkward.
Also a bit inappropriate to be eating while talking. Why does she have to have a cookie during a three minute recording? Does she have the world’s worst case of hypoglycemia or something? 😀
All that aside, it never ceases to amaze me when women dump a guy or tell him they want a divorce, then get upset because he didn’t “fight” for them/the relationship. Like, why didn’t you? You’re the one who ended it, don’t be upset at him for going along with what you started.
PS. I love the term “psychopathetic” ! 😀
A question specifically directed at @Yarara:
Have you ever met female machine operators at work in Argentina or elsewhere? In the project I’m currently working for, they’re giving opportunities to local employees (male helpers and female traffic regulators) to apprentice as operators. So far, they’ve hired one woman full-time and two more are apprenticing.
I’ve met female taxi drivers and the like before, but this is new to me. The experiment, done by the company in the name of “equality” because our corrupt government likes to boast of it (and to dilute the talent pool so that experienced operators become more replaceable) is still in too early a stage to judge (the male apprentices are just as prone to errors so far), but I’d like to know your opinion on this. Or from anyone who has spent some time on construction sites and seen one firsthand.
Hey man
So far no, I have not met any. Our company is a small to medium sized operation, so we are not subject to some PR pressures that may affect larger corporations. But even so, we have on occasion been sub-contracted by larger construction companies or worked alongside them, I have never ever met women, either in the role of machine operators or on the mechanics teams. At most, once in a blue moon, I have seen female truck drivers, but that is a very rare sight. Taxi drivers, like you mentioned, were once unheard of but are becoming a more common sight here as well.
Our company works in the countryside, in the country interior, the workforce is almost exclusively male. There are women in the obvious places doing secretarial or other office work, or some support roles like cleaning or cooking, but rarely in field. The only places I have seen women in field is either as on site administrators or agricultural engineers. Not even as civil or mechanical engineers, mind you.
Oh, and veterinarians. Livestock veterinarians are predominantly male as well, but you come across women doing that from time to time. A couple years ago I briefly dated a young veterinarian who worked for a large livestock farm, and whose full time job was to do cow autopsies, I kid you not (because knowing why the animal died had implications on who is liable for the loss).
One of my guys used to work for a big mining company for a long time, Im gonna ask him next time, but as far as I can remember he told me it was 300 guys up there.
This is not what you asked, but related: on smaller farms, family owned, the owner may be a woman who prefers to have hands on control, but I have not met many of those either. One reason is that sexism being a real thing here, they have trouble getting respect from their male employees. One particular woman I have in mind, 40yo farm owner, wore a permanently irritated bitch look on her face to stop working guys from hitting on her. And truth be said, she could be irritating even for me, but she was actually competent at the job. She hated it tho, only did it because her father had no male heirs to take over.
Internationally, I have not paid that much attention to work sites, to be honest. As regular readers know, I spend a lot of time in Europe and the Middle East. Of course in middle eastern countries that is out of the question. In Europe, I am under the impression that in formerly communist countries (Poland, Bulgaria, former Yugoslavia, Moldova) you see more women doing traditionally male work, at least in some roles (like tram conductors or street sweepers, for example).
Yeah, this answers my question, thank you. So, not even in Eastern Europe did you see this phenomenon. I did not see it in Oslo (the European city I spent more time on) either.
Right now, we have a fully-contracted female excavator operator, a female apprentice for a steamroller (kind of the easiest heavy machine TBF) and an apprentice for a front loader (all three started as traffic regulators, a job mostly reserved for women in these government-sponsored projects). The long-term results for this experiment remain to be seen. There’s the advantage that these machines don’t really go out into the traffic but on very rare occasions, unlike trucks, so the potential liabilities are strictly in-company, so to speak.
A couple additional thoughts occurred to me after I hit “post”
1) In a workforce consisting of lower class men, women will have a tough time because guys will either hit on them (even if they are unattractive) or, if they accept them as “honorary guys”, they will give them the male version of “shit tests” that many women will take personally. The workplace consisting of lower class guys can be quite abrasive for both milquetoast urban boys or women more generally.
2) In smaller companies I see little future for incorporating women as machinery operators due to the simple fact that in smaller companies a lot of the physically demanding maintenance work on heavy machinery is done by ourselves. Large companies have dedicated mechanics teams that step in when something goes wrong, or even to do regular maintenance.
And heavy machinery is… well, heavy. And so are their parts. Most women I know would struggle mightly to wield some of our regular tools to do a mere oil change, or to disassemble a hydraulic cylinder to replace the seals, much less to take apart a caterpillar traction mechanism (thats a 3 man operation on a good day). Heck, I know few women who could even lift my toolbox to be honest, and I am not particularly strong compared to most of my employees.
“1) In a workforce consisting of lower class men, women will have a tough time because guys will either hit on them (even if they are unattractive) or, if they accept them as “honorary guys”, they will give them the male version of “shit tests” that many women will take personally. The workplace consisting of lower class guys can be quite abrasive for both milquetoast urban boys or women more generally.”
Pretty much. Yet it so happens that in the current example, all 3 of the women in question have fucked with at least 1 of the guys, hah. Have I mentioned that I wouldn’t let a girlfriend or wife near any road construction job? Hell no.
“Large companies have dedicated mechanics teams that step in when something goes wrong, or even to do regular maintenance.”
Yep, this is the case here. Beside this, the other major disadvantage for these women to look for jobs elsewhere is the issue of accomodation. No matter how well adapted they are to life with “the guys”, they’ll need their own quarters separate enough from the men’s; even if they don’t ask for them, the company must insist for obvious reasons. And even so, the risk of sexual harassment suits coming up will always be there regardlesss of all the measures they pay for to prevent it.
As I said before, this company’s ultimate goal is to expand the pool so operators in general get more replaceable and less “uppity” about their expected salaries and working conditions.
According to evolutionary psych, men are better at spatial reasoning, so this would mean they would be better at managing mechanized tasks that involve heavy machinery like digging or transport.
I have seen not enough of females in the heavy machinery working space to say they are better or worse than male operators. I am sure that at least some females are up to the task (and they will be predominantly butch lesbian types), but otherwise i am pretty sure it will remain a male profession
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wfFrmNNGEEo
This hag is trying to steal her ex-husband asset. He let his parents own the house. She lost everything except child support.
Watch for fun!
She is ugly as fuck.
The husband in that video handled it very well. He stayed calm, did not react emotionally to provocations, and didn’t annoy the judge.
Thanks for this link. It was nice to see a divorce case that seemingly ended fairly. 🙂
Here is a great comment by a prostitute, er, sex worker who is apparently unaware that some men prefer unattractive whores because they are intimidated by female beauty. Her reasoning has little to do with reality but nonetheless provides an interesting insight into the female perspective:
https://archive.ph/vSpiV
Of course, it is entirely possible that she knows what is up yet does not want to risk ostracism by pointing out the obvious.
And if you DO like young and thin, then you’re trash according to her:
“… with the exception being husbands aged 40-55 who are trash men who specifically look for as young and thin as possible, but these are men who came in looking for that specifucally (sic), not just met everyone and were just taken with someone in the moment.”
She referred to middle aged divorcees as trash men lol. I’m assuming she means they make the worse types of clients. I imagine a busted and balding dude with emotional baggage from being married to warthog for the last couple decades.
I’ve always went for the youngest and hottest whores I could find. To date, I would say I’ve had mostly positive experiences, btw. I had trouble getting hard initially, but now I feel comfortable immediately and have no trouble. The last chick I hired was a really nice 22 year old East Asian-looking chick who was into cross fit. No way, I would probably ever have been able to bang such a chick without just chucking some cash. So, all in all, though I sort of wish I had my total sum of money back, I’m glad to have gotten some of these experiences out of the way. My next goal is to hire a pair for a threesome, but I’m in no hurry to do so because young hoes will always be there.
Neat fact: according to some analytics I was looking at Hentai is the most searched term according pornhub, while the most popular category is milf porn.
“The BEST earning women I’ve seen over a decade have been age 30-50, “mom bod” women. Across client demographics from 20 years old to 80, men tend to opt for Victoria the 42 year old size 12 (us 10), even over Christie the 19 yo size 6 (US 2).”
She’s just lying.
@Karl, yeah it’s hard to get true statistics unless brothels where it’s legal are actually keeping track of them (which I highly doubt). I could see maybe older hot “milf” types of chicks that are still in great shape doing well enough, but I imagine those with mom bods to be deflated looking with stretch marks and cellulose all over their ass and thighs. It makes no sense to me personally, but I suppose it’s possible worn out cougars are doing amazingly.
Pickernanny:
Well, we can just look at “MILF” porn actresses. They’re often above average-looking women in their early 30s, and certainly don’t have “mom bods.” Often with boob jobs and probably a bunch of other surgeries as well.
The notion that that whore put forth, that the most desired women are women aged 30-50 in bad shape, is ridiculous.
It does sound ridiculous. It’s quite possible the poster is coping super hard. It’s like the PUA who claims busted short dudes are pulling HB9s.
Pickernanny:
Yeah, that’s not a bad analogy. 🙂
In 1984, Orwell famously wrote “War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.” Now this whore follows it up with “Ugliness is beauty.”
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/comments/1j2waqg/do_male_feminists_ever_make_you_feel_uncomfortable/
More proof that simping just doesn’t work.
In the rare cases it does (dudes who end up with ugly and bitch wives that make their lives a living hell are probably the most common “successful” result of this), its hardly ever worth it.