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I have had this situation come up a few times. I join some group/niche and some of the hottest chicks are the head of the organization or high status within it. For example: dance teacher at a dance studio, organizer of an event, head or highly ranked in some organization.
So I always feel hesitant to hit on them because in case we hook and it goes bad, it could close some doors for me. But I don’t know if I’m being overcautious. (I am an anxious person and sometimes it’s hard to judge when I’m being overly cautious).
Maybe not that big a deal and I’m overthinking it.
Have you had this type of situation arise? What are your thoughts?
“What are your thoughts?”
If the activity and venue itself is something you highly value and not just something you do for casual fun/socializing, then yeah, probably better to refrain. unless they outright hit on you first (or showing super, super strong signals. like you know she’d gladly accept a discreet casual arrangement with you), in which case, its probably a good idea to accept if the feeling is mutual. (there may be an expectation of exclusivity though..) Women do not react to rejection very well in my experience, so things may turn sour anyway if you don’t shoot your shot.
Lets see what the others have to say…
“If the activity and venue itself is something you highly value…”
Yea, I guess this is important consideration.
Thinking about it more, if things are awkward or tense I could deal with that. But if I were to be banned from some activity I value due to not committing to some chick who runs things… I guess it could happen, but maybe this concern is overblown in my head.
Don’t risk it.
There are 4B girls on this Earth. I’m sure there are a few others who might suit you. 😉
You should go for it. Cautiously, and with good intentions, as in, you are not thinking just hit it and quit it. A physically attractive woman who is also into your passion is a dream come true. It could be the relationship of your life.
Hi Jessica,
Perhaps the subtext wasn’t clear: I’m not looking for “the relationship of [my] life”. Nor am I looking to hit it and quit it. I want to have have ongoing fb/casual (non-monogamous) relationships that last a few weeks to a few months. In some cases it could extend longer than that.
From the sound of it you’d consider this “bad intentions,” so I am keeping my expectations low. But if you’re able to provide thoughtful advice from this point of view, I’d appreciate it.
Is it likely that a woman high in a groups status hierarchy will turn vindictive and try to ruin my standing in a given group because I have decided NOT to enter a monogamous relationship with her when she wanted one?
Hi Money,
I don’t know if she would turn vindictive or not, but I think that it would get kind of awkward for the two of you to be in the same space. It’s kind of like dating someone from work. Every time you see her face, you will be thinking in the back of your mind “I know what her vagina looks like,” lol. It would just be weird AF to me. Anyway, I would look elsewhere for a casual hook up if I were you. The stakes sound kinda high to me.
I looked up an old classmate of mine (we weren’t in the best of terms, but we weren’t enemies either. I think the only real reason he had a problem with me back then is due to peer pressure. Because the “cool kids” didn’t like me, he had to play along too to not get discriminated.), and oh my god…he’s definitely hit the male version of the wall.
He looked fine in his videos from 4 years ago, but now his skin complexion is like that of the modern age Chris Chan. I’m fatter and older than him, but my skin is significantly better. Combined with the long unkept hair, and he outright looks like a hobo.
It seems like the difference is that 4 years ago, he bothered to actually be physically active, but now it seems like he’s given up all that and plunged full time into his geeky interests. (he’s into Pokemon cards)
I don’t want to come off however as if I’m saying there’s anything wrong with having geeky hobbies. Perhaps in an alternate universe where I never picked up an interest in martial arts, I am probably the same way. I suppose I should count myself lucky that the activity I’ve found myself geeking over about is physical.
Someone I met in college once upon a time also had a huge interest in a niche card game, and I’m shocked how expensive the hobby is. My BJJ hobby right now is actually cheaper. The guy was a total suck up and goody two shoes though. He’s said to me that to him, “there were no bad teachers/professors” when I made a small rant (I was making small talk while getting the project done) regarding the unreasonable attitude of one of our professors.
This put me off bothering with forging any real friendship with this guy. The mainstream likes to glorify “useful idiots” like this. If people didn’t question the status quo, Slavery would still be a thing. There’s nothing admirable about being a sheep.
I think I’ve brought up the thought experiment before here about raising women in a Monastery for the early years of their life, and if that will maximize their chances of growing into a quality woman.
But without going quite that far, in general, do you feel that every woman (this is specifically just about women) would greatly benefit from daily meditation in their early developmental years?
I might very well be overestimating what it could do, but all the common issues of attention whoring and other harmful cavewoman impulses in women might get remedied, or at least minimized, from having serious meditation ingrained in them in their early developmental years. Combined with keeping them away from bad influences and social media.
I am quite confident that there are positive benefits of mediation for children. A much bigger factor, though, is surely their media consumption. If your kids spend five hours a day on their phone then even half an hour of meditation a day would only have limited effect.
This is what an empowered feminist woman looks like!
https://slatereport.com/news/mississippi-woman-sentenced-for-unnatural-intercourse-with-dog/