The Open Thread is a place for open discussion among my readers. Post anything you feel like sharing! From now on, the Open Thread will no longer be monthly. Instead, there will be a new Open Thread whenever it is adequate. The stage is yours. Go ahead!
The latest Open Thread is made ‘sticky’ to improve access.
Please consider throwing a few coins into the tip jar, and buy my books! They are great. Your support is greatly appreciated.
Have you ever had to deal with the awkwardness of meeting one of the chicks you’ve boned later in life, but not remembering them whatsoever, Aaron? With your laycount, (at that number, you definitely won’t remember everybody. Heck, I don’t even remember everybody I ever got into a fight with and my “fight count” is probably barely around double digits. lol) I imagine its bound to happen.
Now that I bring this topic up, I remember one guy somewhere on some forum (reddit? not sure) bringing up that if a guy is fairly experienced in both, who is he more likely to remember, a random fuck or a random fight? Maybe someone here (I hate to admit it, but my sexual experience is pathetic paltry compared to most of the rest of you, so I personally lack sufficient experience on the other sphere to meaningfully chime in. I still reminisce on the memories from time to time. One of them I almost certainly would have contacted again had I not discovered that she had meteor crashed into the wall, both in looks AND life circumstances.) can make an input, lol.
Randomly bumping into a girl you have banged is not that awkward. In fact, if this happens in a club, it is not at all unlikely that you end up banging her again. I recall a few interactions where some chick perked up when she saw me, we ended up making out quickly, and then she addressed me by my name, and casually chatted away as if I was an acquaintance. Well, that is what I was to them. They remembered me but I did not remember them at all. Really negative reactions I have only experienced when I ditched a chick who was really into, and ended up leaving with a different one.
Wow. Aaron, did u let off that u didn’t remember her, or did u play along like u did recognize her? I’m guessing it’s the latter.
Of course I did the latter. To be fair, some women are able to look a lot differently, depending on clothes and makeup. Add a different hairdo or heels instead of sneakers, and it is quite understandable that you may not immediately recognize someone.
I used to have this problem where I thought nobody recognized me. Even if I recognized them. I couldn’t believe certain people even knew my name. The invisible man. An inconsequential person. Oh well. Future therapy session.
“The invisible man. An inconsequential person.”
GLAS, we really feel do like kindred spirits. I’ve said this before, but young me would have been content being nothing more than a hermit who lives on the internet. an observer, an NPC and nothing more. As long as I was left alone, I was content.
and maybe if the false impression of myself was my actual reality, maybe that would have been my life. Best case scenario, a lifetime indoor NEET. I’m glad that doesn’t have to be my ultimate destiny though. Video games are great, but if that’s all you have, you eventually (I can’t necessarily speak for everyone, but certainly the case for me) sour off of them.
Thus far, I’ve encountered more than a few folks who recognize me that I haven’t seen for years but whom remember me (even when I often don’t remember them, and have to pretend like I do out of embarrassment. lol), and even people whom I didn’t even interact much with, but recognize me because they’ve seen me around. when we went to the same school/college university, etc.
The only downside with having this kind of physical presence is that I’ll never qualify as a CIA Ninja Assassin. There goes my childhood dream of becoming the real life Agent 47 I suppose, LOL!
I wonder if this will all change if I ever moved to the US or the Netherlands, where the general population are taller…
Maou, obviously you don’t need to answer this. But I’m curious if your immediate family emotionally abused you. For me, it was 100 percent the case.
I definitely believe that my mom and dad are people who should have done a whole lot of deep introspection and soul searching before they decided to become parents. I highly suspect my mother may have “oopsied” my dad. When we’ve spoken in private in the past, she’s used the term “he’s accepted that he’s a dad”. I cannot definitively prove it, but I highly suspect it.
Would I consider them as abusive parents? That’s a tough question for me to answer honestly. They’ve definitely dun fucked in a lot of ways raising me and my sis IMO, and both could definitely use some emotional control and “Zen” in their life. (I’ve learned not to take my dad seriously when he’s angry and machine gun shotting insults. Kid me definitely took them to heart though.) But they were never malicious about it. I go to the gym and do BJJ, and my dad supports it. (Don’t have a job right now, I’m not sure when I’ll get one) I’m sure he’d be happy to see me live/achieve my dreams, but doesn’t see how he’s hampered me in the past with his decisions.
I think my mom has some narcissistic traits (well, so does my dad). Not a narcissist, but I’d say she definitely has some characteristics that has made her unpleasant to deal with. I don’t fit her ideal vision of a son and never will (part of it because her ideal vision of a son would be the typical bluepilled 9-5 “good boy” with a 9-5 job and obedient to mommy. The idea inspires disgust in me), I’ve broken away from the family religion which I believe has caused a permanent divide between us. She supports when she can, but I don’t think we’ll have a truly intimate relationship ever again. I find it best to keep her at arms’ length.
So all in all…I don’t think my parents are bad people. Bad parents, maybe. but not bad people.
And that’s part of the reason I’m not really in alignment with Aaron’s viewpoint that we should socially pressure women to become mothers. I get where he’s coming from and without children, there will be no next generation. But unless we fix a whole lot of things in society first (I’m of the belief that past a certain point, a woman will never become a good mother. If a girl has lived her whole young life being an irresponsible party slut, 99% of the time, she will never become a good mother), I think this will just lead to parents who don’t have the ability to actually BE good parents, just producing fucked up kids, who will just repeat the cycle with their next kid, etc.
@Maou: The point Aaron and co. have tried to make, or at least one of the points, is that propaganda for women NOT to become mothers is selectively applied. It’s usually directed at women of good stock (not necessarily white), while the scum of society keeps multiplying like rabbits.
By dismissing the factor above, you’re kind of falling into the same faulty libertarian reasoning (I think it was you that I called out for probably being in a libertarian phase, right?) that total freedom for everything is ideal, possible and in accordance with human nature. Sure, it’d be good to stop overpopulation, Earth’s resources are finite, etc. But promoting childlessness, atheism and nihilism among the segment of the population with a modicum of intelligence won’t stop the IQ-70 crowd from spreading and exploiting those resources far and wide.
“I think it was you that I called out for probably being in a libertarian phase, right?”
Yes, I remember that comment of yours to me.
“promoting childlessness, atheism and nihilism among the segment of the population with a modicum of intelligence won’t stop the IQ-70 crowd from spreading and exploiting those resources far and wide.”
I definitely see your point, don’t get me wrong. What’s your thoughts on programs like “Projection Prevention”? (They offer a money incentive for drug addicts to get sterilized. There is little things worse for a child than being under the thumb of a hard drug addict parent) I think this is one of those program that definitely hit the subtier IQ crowd. A lot of folks say its manipulative, but I support what it does.
@Maou
You make too many good points to cover. But in my case, if anything my dad “oopsied” my mom (I look just like him). She’s told me to my face how bad she wanted to leave him…..,..
And then she got pregnant. Guess who that was?
@Maou: I would sterilize my younger sister, who’s unfit to run her own life, let alone to be a mother, if I wasn’t sure she already takes enough birth control as it is.
Chemical castration is already a controversial subject even for child molesters, which it shouldn’t be. In theory I like the idea, but if you normalize this, the usual suspects will take it as a justification to normalize euthanasia for healthy people, something that’s already going on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okr-Peoc5Mo
Do we really have a reason to envy bluepilled men?
BTW, who wants to bet that chick complaining about “Forever Fuckboys” has probably cheated on a good man behind closed doors? The girls who virtue signaled the loudest pretty much always proved to be hypocrites in my experience.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nuLwPTBSX6Y
Alek has talked about “Cavewoman instincts” a few times here before. It brings up the question if its fair to criticize women about it.
I personally think so. Sure, you’re entitled to having standards for mate choice, just like we are. (“Both Men and Women have a right to be Selfish” – Matingselfishness) But some instincts, like leading on a man to keep extracting resources and time from him without giving anything in return, when he could be using those same resources to find a girl that actually reciprocates (or at least a fair transactional type of relationship), is shit that needs to be shut down and deservedly shamed.
Just like bullying should be shamed and weeded out, even though that ugly behavior is part of nature.
I’m 42, but look late 20s, early 30s. Do you think simply stating that I’m 42 would turn off some chicks who are physically attracted based on looks, but the age would be a deal breaker for them?
Nobody ever guesses my age and people are always surprised when I tell them. Some outliers even guess early 20s. AI tools also guess 29-32. All this is just to establish that I’m not deluding myself.
So my question is, should I tell chicks my real age from the get go or delay tell her or even lie. I think for online dating I should definitely lie because otherwise they’ll just think my pics are outdated. But even in social groups and “niches” I tend to avoid answering the age question. While there is a certain freedom in simply stating your true age, I feel like it could result in losing some chicks that I might have got otherwise.
I do have chicks as young as 19 hitting on me / showing interest even knowing my age, but I’m trying to maximize and not turn off any chicks unnecessarily. Do you think simply stating that I’m 42 would turn off some chicks who are physically attracted based on looks, but the age would be a deal breaker for them?
In my experience when girls guess low on your age it doesn’t necessarily mean that they think you are that age. It means you look hot, and they are down. Societal norms push women away from admitting when they like older guys. Otherwise they would say the correct age, or not guess at all. Especially if they’re not interested.
My immediate thought is that its probably better to delay giving a direct answer (flirt around it..) until you’ve already laid them. preferably multiple times.
Remember that women are generally very status-conscious creatures. She might be attracted to you, but the moment she figures out you’ve got a decade of age on her, she might be forced to abort going further with you in fear of being judged by her social circle.
Being a fresh 30 year old myself, I don’t do this yet. But I suspect that once I reach around that age range, and I want to have fun with women in their 20’s, I’m going to have to start employing that tactic.
@ GoodLookingAndSleazy It’s not just girls who guess low, it’s literally everybody: men, women, young, old. Not just in a dating context.
@ Maou What you say makes sense. The only counter-argument I can think of is that there is minority of chicks who like older guys, sometimes much older. So for those it might be advantage to state the age, but they’d be down anyway so probably doesn’t matter. Like I doubt they would NOT fuck me unless I was much older. But you never know.
I recommend not mentioning the age or give an evasive answer, at least in the initial stage of a relationship. The problem is that some women have strong preconceived notions about age. This even applies if they are really into you. On the other hand, some women are into older guys, but these women would not necessarily quiz you about your age as they go by looks and only show their interest if they consider you mature enough.
Speaking of age differences, a good friend of mine is in his 40s, has two children and is divorced. He looks young for his age and he still loves to party. The last time I spoke to him, he relayed to me that he pulled a hot 18-year-old from a club. He banged her a few times, they slept in, and then had a late breakfast together. He thought that this was all going great. Then she asked him how old he was, in a curious if not playful way. As he had really clicked with her, he just told her that he is 44 years old. This did not go down well at all. This girl could not handle it. Her demeanor changed immediately. Her last words were, “You are as old as my father.” She got up and rushed out of his apartment, leaving behind her half-eaten breakfast. Had he banged her for a week or two, this interaction would quite likely have gone much differently.
I think this societal stigma started in relatively recent history. Like in the 1950s. When, for the first time, a majority of teens were attending high school. And they were encouraged to meet their future spouse there. That doesn’t really happen anymore, but I think that’s how the stigma started.
My experience matches what Maou and Aaron are saying. Reveal yourself to be too old too soon, and they might freak out.
“As he had really clicked with her, he just told her that he is 44 years old. This did not go down well at all. This girl could not handle it. Her demeanor changed immediately. Her last words were, “You are as old as my father.” She got up and rushed out of his apartment, leaving behind her half-eaten breakfast.”
This is hilarious. I wonder if she learned her lesson and will now more carefully vet her potential suitors. I have to imagine they hooked up very quickly.
I just recently banged a 21 year old (I’m 36.5). Like you say, some chicks just don’t care as much about the age thing, however this isn’t as extreme an example. Another aspect to this scenario is the chick knows I’m merely on contract for a short period and has a 3 year relationship. I distinctly remember joking to her at one point that when I was graduating from high school she was barely out of diapers. This remark was not at all a dealbreaker. Not to sound like a complete degenerate, but after fucking this girl at my place she later sucked me off to orgasm in the supply closet at work. Here’s the kicker: her bf works with us and was on duty that day. Do not recommend, however, no regrets so far.
I think some of younger chicks preferring older men is cultural, like in the East. However, there does seem to be a correlation between the few younger chicks I’ve been with in the last several years and them wanting to do the whole daddy dom thing.
@Pickernanny
Spot on about the daddy dom thing. Matches my experience.
As far as chicks with bfs/husbands: do you hit on them or do they hit on you? I kind of feel bad hitting on chicks with bfs, but if they hit on me it’s all right. Also sometimes if I know and like the guy, I feel bad about fucking his wife/gf, but sometimes I feel I’m too sentimental 🙂
Yeah, they’re the ones to usually initiate the dance, so to speak. The exception might be when they are on contract and their bfs are nowhere in sight, I’ve swayed a couple to cheat. Also, I feel that the more degenerate things one does ends up desensitizing you. She was going to cheat eventually anyway, so why not be with me?
Thanks @Aaron, @Karl,
So it basically matches my intuition. Nice to have confirmation.
I think also there is big difference between an 18-year-old and say a 22-year-old. I feel like a 22-year-old is a lot more comfortable with an age difference, but still it’s better to be evasive.
I’ll have to practice being evasive without being suspicious. Any tips appreciated.
There should be significant difference as the 22-year-old will have interacted with many more adults than the 18-year-old whose only significant interactions with older adults were primarily with her parents, her teachers, and her friends’ parents.
Aaron,
Do women randomly buy gifts for men in general, or do they happen buy gifts for men they find attractive?
Depends how they were raised. My sister is pretty generous in general, to me (she’s footed the bill a lot more times than I have when we’ve eaten out) and to other members of my family. In the past, some folks in my family have taken advantage of it though.
I think one of the things I’ve mentioned here in the past is that the difference between a legit female friend and a girl who has manipulated you into the friendzone to constantly leech off of you is if she reciprocates. Like if you foot the bill in eat outs from time to time, she better be doing the same thing for you too with just as much frequency if not more, or pays you back in some other meaningful way, etc.
Chris,
Women buying you gifts, in particular random gifts, is a very obvious sign of affection. Joe Average does not get any.