I have spent countless hours in clubs and bars. Yet, I am basically a teetotaler. I may have drunk between one and two liters of red wine in all my life, two or three bottles of beer, and I may have taken a puff of a joint once, but my memory is a bit hazy in that regard, pun not intended. I hung out with a few guys for a while who were quite into smoking weed, so I either tried it and did not feel any effect or I did not try it at all. Yet, if you go out a lot, this pattern of consumption is hardly the norm. Instead, most people drink, and a lot take drugs. This includes supposedly harmless ones like weed down to high-risk patterns where people swallow mystery pills that could contain anything.
Over the years, I have noticed that plenty of people seem to pick up — no, not a lot of women but a drug or alcohol habit that seems quite difficult to shake off. This often starts rather casually. People have the occasional beer or joint. Two years later, that is their baseline most days of the week and if they really want to party, they need to snort a line of cocaine. As they get older, their habits become more and more ingrained. Eventually, these people outgrow the party scene. Yet, their substance abuse problems remain. They are in their late 30s, early 40s, or older and they always keep a stash of drugs at home. Life without drugs seems impossible for them.
While I am a hardliner and think that you should not do drugs at all, and likely also refrain from alcohol, I fully understand that there are supposed social aspects. The average habitual drinker tells himself that he cannot talk to women if he is not buzzed so he has a few beers, and still barely talks to any women. Arguably, you will be a lot better off without an alcohol problem as this can lead to severe health implications.
I know people I used to party with, years ago, who exhibit the pattern described above. They may even have developed a degree of self-awareness that makes them comment that they could drop their various drug habits anytime they wanted or that they drink or snort or smoke their favorite substance just to “take the edge off”. In my view, these people normally lie to themselves. There may be exceptions. In fact, I know a guy who has a small collection of expensive cognacs at home and he seems to go through them very, very slowly. His bottles apparently last years. It also helps that a properly stored opened bottle of cognac seems to have no best-before date. Even keeping it for a decade seems to be fine.
Funny you should write this today.
I am a teetotaller now of many years due to my reliance on booze and then further habit of it in my wilder times as a wannabe PUA.
As a maybe interesting aside, I met an aspiring “dating coach”/ entrepreneur in Melbourne towards the end of my time as a sad “ PUA” type. He informed me he’d ‘trained’ / long bootcamped with some big coaches of the time in the USA and reported they were all pretty much alcoholic trainwrecks. Which made total sense to me at the time having ended up the same way.
Kudos to you Sleazy for managing to go clubbing for so long on soft drinks and water etc. and at the big clubs full of drugs. I cannot go to even ‘day raves’ any more without getting triggered to drink or drug along with the crowd. My UK friend loves these but I have to opt out now.
Plus all the young Scantily clad sexy club chicks give me serious blueballs. and even 1 can of RedBull keeps me up half the night afterward.
That shit is Toxic!! Almost as bad as drugs on the body. Never mind people mixing both. Crazy.
Personally I never understood, why you as a man in a club situation would in any way seriously intoxicate yourself in order to interact with the “fairer” sex. Because you need to have a clear mind and good observation skills to capitalize on the opportunities you are presented with. You also need to go after those few women you really find hot and interesting, since this will only fuel your mojo and her receptivity (if she finds you attractive). And all of those essential skills get massively impaired by drug intake and/or beer-goggles.
Such behaviour only makes sense – in a way – if deep down you KNOW, that your way of doing things doesn’t really amount to anything. Thus you either might drown your frustration in alcohol, or might get wasted anyway, because it supposedly wouldn’t make any difference.
@Lucretius- well it’s not called a social lubricant for nothing. Theres heaps of reasons. a quick list off the top of my head
– pubs & clubs are where girls go to get drunk/take drugs and dance and get ‘loose’/ have a fun time/ wild night
– alcohol removes inhibitions
– I can talk funny bullshit when I’m drunk for hours
– I have heaps of “Dutch courage”/ confidence/ big balls when drunk I can approach almost any chick and sometimes pull better quality under the influence. I think I’m the shit.
– pickup in bars & clubs is all bullshit, small talk and banter once it’s on. it’s quite harder for me to get on that wavelength sober. I’m too in my head and not anywhere near as extroverted.Or touchy-feely.
– booze/drugs give that rocket fuel to stay up late. I get tired much earlier sober if I go out. I miss the ‘golden hours’ of pickup imo (late).
– drunk people are often insufferable when I’m sober also due to the effect of alcohol as per above
– picking up sober in those environments is often not worth the hassle due to above
(Dealing w drunk bullshit in the wee hours of the night )
-I don’t really like dance music When I’m sober/straight. it’s too repetitive for my taste. Rave/dance is drug music imo the whole club scene revolves around drugs IME.
They are probably the main reasons.
The downside is beer goggles of course yes but that can cut both ways 🙂
And the hangovers and dirty come downs.
The transition to sober pickup was very hard for me.I lost a lot of “skill” and had to relearn how to do it all over again.
Well pickup itself doesn’t amount to much anyway 😀 just a ONS most often.
@Cheeky: Thanks for the interesting and detailed reply.
No worries. That’s just my personal exp from decades of partying and picking up chicks 👍 hopefully it all made logical sense.
Ideally no substances would be necessary but I’m an introvert by nature so.. 🤷🏻♂️
@Lucretius Carus,
The most important aspect is courage. Very few men have the big balls to approach women in clubs. Women doll up to look sexy in there so you could see how intimidated it is.
Guys like Sleazy or Assanova who have big balls to go after chicks are very rare. They are like fearless.
That is why alcohol involves. It lowers your inhibition to take action. I think that is why it is “Dutch courage”