A New Low for Women Who Rationalize Their Infidelity

It not news to any of us that a lot of women have no moral compass at all. They do whatever they feel like and justify their actions after the fact. However, the “rationalization hamster” has been getting some pretty serious workouts. Just today, I came across a remarkable story. It begins as so many stories begin: she is bored by her husband and father of their children but at first we do not know about it. The post begins as follows:

I was married for 20 years and had an affair. AMA
(Will not respond to trolls or hateful comments)

AMA is a Reddit shorthand for “ask me anything”.

The first response is from a supportive woman. Men cheat, too, you know:

Does your husband know or suspect you ? If the husband isn’t suspicious and hasn’t found out, he has someone too. Was it forbidden fruit syndrome or settling scores? Too many questions

The OP (= original poster) follows up:

He knew from day 1 – I told him. We are divorced now.

Getting out of the marriage wasn’t on my agenda I didn’t think that far. I told my husband because I believe in honesty and didn’t want to cheat him. But he felt like I cheated him anyway by having feelings for someone else. But regardless I have a hard time hiding things and prefer to be honest

She told her husband that she wanted to have sex with someone else, but this seems unlikely. Probably, because she was guilt-ridden or her husband confronted her, she admitted that she had gotten some side dick. It does not take long until we get to hear a somewhat different story:

Day 1 my husband asked me if something was wrong and I told him out of guilt. I’m not a good liar. I thought my husband was progressive and may be open to opening up the marriage perhaps or we could
Talk things out. (That didn’t happen)
Yes we have kids.
He didn’t react well at all. He wanted me to cut contact and come back into the marriage and it was very contentious for a few months. Finally I left the house after a lot of back and forth.
I told ny friends and dad. Dad yelled at me and tried to get me to change my mind. Friends just asked me to think and take the right decision. Some of them
Even spoke to the other guy and thought he was genuinely in love with me and would keep me happy so they gave their blessing. Other friends tried to patch me up with husband.
Affair guy finally got cold feet and blocked me and ran away.

Absolutely nobody could have guessed that a dude who is fine with banging a woman in her 40s would not want to commit. There is a good chance that this guy only took some pussy that was thrown his way and did not think further. Possibly, he did not even know that she was married and had kids.

I feel peaceful now most days. I don’t miss being married. I struggled with the other guys betrayal a lot – I still struggle with it. I also had a lot of guilt for a long time. I carried a lot of burden over being a horrible wife horrible mother, cheater etc and I was called a sl*t, wh*re and other names too and I hurt for a long time.
I work through all that in therapy and am better now.
I have had another relationship since so I am
Open to one if it makes sense. If not I’m good too

Let this sink in: she does not miss being married but she is pissed that Chad got away. Her “other relationship” cannot have lasted that long either. By the way, women, if a guy bangs you, moves on, and he ignores your messages for two weeks until you give up, you are not in a relationship.

Here is the new low. A woman chimes in:

Damn. You are not the first girl to go through this. I hate such men who don’t have honor.. there is a chance he might come back some day too ???? Typically affairs happen due to some gap in marriage. Unfortunately the guy was objective and you were emotional.

It is not clear which guy she is referring to. It seems she is thinking of the Chad. Anyway, let us go through the options: First, her husband is fully justified in divorcing her. Him not taking her back has nothing to do with honor at all. Second, the Chad banging and not wanting to commit to her is not to blame either. It is implausible that he had agreed to taking on a roastie and her kids, and funding their lifestyle. How is this a question of honor? However, entitled women seem to think if they ruin a relationship by cheating, the new guy should just fill the role of the old one.

A few men contributed to the discussion too:

Cheating isn’t a progressive thing, lmao

Progressive == c*ck

Lmao so many women praising OP for cheating and criticizing the husband instead. If any guy wants to marry, he should read the replies by women in this thread and rethink about marrying at all.

The OP had to address these objections, too. See, guys, everybody is to blame equally here:

I don’t know who is criticizing my ex husband. I think he handled the situation as best as he could. Could I have done better? Yes. Could he have done better? Yes. We all make choices and are responsible for the consequences. We have both made ours and have moved past that.

The follow-up was even better, though. A woman asks:

Why? Sexual attraction? Something else?


No just fell in love – I was completely smitten

The next woman chimes in:

Good for you!

I had to laugh. The discussion is about a whore ruining her marriage, and here we have women patting each other on the back for getting tingles for Chad.

Finally, the OP reveals more key information:

He got cold feet after and went back to his wife.
Sometimes I do regret believing his lies and destroying my marriage for this.

One of the most upvoted comments was this one:

Yeah i dont know what you’re expecting out of this lmfao, like no offense but you’re a selfish person and the world would be better off without you

Later, she reveals that her ex-husband made about 2 million per year and the new guy only about 400k, and according to her, she did not get much in the divorce because that guy managed to protect his assets. This is peak modern woman. It also did not seem to have occurred to her that a guy making $400k/year is not going to be able to provide a $2m/year lifestyle. Numbers are hard, though, so let us cut her some slack.

This discussion took place on Blind, a forum for people in tech. I was expecting tech bros. It is probably not worth your time. I skim their “layoffs” section every once in a while. Oftentimes, news of layoffs appear there first because affected employees share the news there.

20 thoughts on “A New Low for Women Who Rationalize Their Infidelity

  1. “Later, she reveals that her ex-husband made about 2 million per year and the new guy only about 400k”

    Chasing Chad cock requires some truly brutal sacrifices.

    Here’s another such story:
    My babydaddy got promoted so I appealed for more child support. He ordered a DNA test, and my son failed. He put the results in my mailbox. I forgave myself for cheating but he’s being petty. He’s been my son’s dad for 8 years; why ghost my child now? How to fix it?”

    1. Unfortunately,the fact that situations like these create fucked up children makes me struggle to celebrate events like these. That I said,I don’t blame the man for leaving. Adoption is one thing (I personally wouldn’t do it,but I do think volunteering for it is admirable.),but its completely another to have been tricked.

      I suppose this is one reason I especially despise cheating mothers. I get it from an evolutionary perspective,but the idea of tricking a man into raising another man’s children just inspires disgust in me.

      Definitely a big part of the reason I’ve never been a fan of dumpster diving. I recall talking about it with CQV,but I think fully legalized (and culturally accepted) prostitution in society does more good than harm. Should definitely reduce dumpster diving,and the unfortunate “collateral damage” that comes with it.

  2. Aaron,
    So, we can deduce that she wasn’t physically attracted to her ex-husband, only married him for his resources and thus, cheated on him because “…she thinks she can rejoin the party scene, bang a few more Chads, and have another set of kids thanks to IVF” (The Female Role in Breakup and Divorce).

    1. I’m not the Sleaze of course, but I thinks that the first surmission is, quite likely. Because in the end most women cannot marry the guys they are sexually pining for. And sometimes even for absolutely legitimate reasons: Maybe because he would a horrible partner/father, or because he’s broke, or not wealthy *enough*, etc.

      What we can observe here is unregulated, worldly female behaviour acting itself out almost without any boundaries or moral limitations. And it’s not only ugly, it’s suicidal on a societal level.

      There’s a famous comedy quip by the one and only Chris Rock that puts it succinctly: “Men! Do you know, why your wife is always angry at you? Well, it’s because you WEREN’T her first choice!”

    2. I am not sure this is the main motivation. She said she made $400k/yr herself and a problem of today’s women is that they think they are like men. A single man drawing a fat paycheck will do better with women than the average guy. Similarly, she may have thought that now that she makes a lot of money, she should get her fair share of Chads. She most likely also thought that she could have another set of kids. After all, rich men who remarry after a divorce do that, so why not her? Some women would be better off if a guardian made decisions for them.

  3. The cheating woman writes “I also had a lot of guilt for a long time. I carried a lot of burden over being a horrible wife horrible mother, cheater etc and I was called a sl*t, wh*re and other names too and I hurt for a long time. I work through all that in therapy and am better now. I have had another relationship since so I am open to one if it makes sense. If not I’m good too”

    What fascinates me time and again is the amount ofnshame and guilt that women accrue from such behaviour. But they are never able to really get rid of it, because they mostly cannot/want to avoid assuming responsibility for their actions and repent from it, to receive healing and learn from their mistakes.

    My personal educated guess is, that feminism and its other “fashionable” sub-trends, like “Me too”, “Anti-Slut Shaming” etc., are nothing but compulsive ways of trying to get rid of this often substantially huge amount of guilt and shame. So they project their shame & blame on others (“society”, “the system”, and of course, us men). While it would be stupid to deny the impact of inherent forces of modern society and of the actions of stupid and or downright “malevolent” men (and rather few of them, since most men cannot even afford to “move freely amongst women”), the big elephant in the room is still women and their in many documented cases immoral, illoyal and honourless behavior.
    If they were intelligent, they wouldn’t vent their thoughts and musings so openly out ther into the world, because it even further erodes their façade of credibility. But it goes without saying that you and me and every red-blooded guy is nothing but a fucking misogynist for pointing all of this out, because after all: “Not all women are like that.” LOL

  4. First guy made $2M (so like a senior partner in a major law firm) and then the new guy is a “downgrade” to $400K (something like a skilled surgeon or a senior associate at a major law firm), who was just waiting to snap up her 40-something adulterous self?

    She can’t stay truthful even during confession. 🙂

    1. The new guy was an Indian though, plus they’ve meet at work so he is likely a no-lifer, too. It’s quite plausible that he’d be an almost incel, even with $400K

    2. I find it hard to believe that she can bag a millionaire. Maybe this is entirely from her imagination.

      Fuck her sick mind!

    3. Well, I can’t say for sure that she’s lying, that’s true. But I don’t believe her. It’s just not plausible to me, currycel or no.

  5. You guys ever notice in movies the cheater is almost exclusively the guy? In the rare event a woman cheats it’s glamorized. The s goes back to the Titanic discussion. Of course Hollywood always targets females. It’s mostly consumerism.

  6. I read some other replies you made.
    You were in a less than ideal marriage with your husband but made it work somehow. You wanted to receive the love, care and excitement again.
    The Indian culture doesn’t give people many chances to find and recognize love before marriage.
    Don’t let the therapist blame it on your past, that is BS. There’s nothing to be ashamed of wanting more love. Instead you should be asking how to make a long term relationship work.
    I struggle with monotony as well, and I am too shy to spice things up.

    Incredible! Priceless response!

    1. Forgot to mention, how would I know the girl I’m with is banging some guy on the side or has a back up guy on the side?

    2. This is a question that has come up repeatedly in my consultations. As a starting point, see if there are there stretches of time for which she cannot give a good explanation. Her “staying at a friend’s place” is generally an admission that she had a one-night stand. Also, you can just probe a little. Let’s say she comes home at 10:00 p.m., unannounced. She may tell you a cover story but then you just say that your friend or colleague so-and-so, who knows her, was a that place, too, and that it was strange that he did not not mention her. (This is more relevant for the college and young-professional crowd, when people still have busy social lives.)

      Arguably the best tell, however, is if she suddenly starts suspecting you of cheating, for instance by insisting that she should look at your phone. Women have this odd tendency of projecting their own character flaws on other men. Thus, give her your phone, but not without asking for hers, and wait what happens! Cheating women also tend to have poor impulse control. Some will just tell you the next time they get upset at you. I had this happen with some fuck buddies. Their motivation was laughable. Feeling that I am only using them, they thought they could emotionally hurt me if they fucked some other dude.

    3. Evolutionarily speaking, female infidelity is an adaptive trait. In the past, it was not at all uncommon that women were taken as war brides, and their men slaughtered. Thus, women who were not able to quickly bond or at least act as if they were bonding with a new man, where at a higher risk of being expelled from a tribe if not killed outright. Expelling meant certain death too, of course. For women, being deceptive and having a lack of loyalty increased the likelihood of survival and having offspring who could survive into adulthood. Thus, such traits got passed on.

    4. “Arguably the best tell, however, is if she suddenly starts suspecting you of cheating, for instance by insisting that she should look at your phone.”

      LOL! What you wrote here just reminded me again of my more naive days (this was back when I believed in PUA Game,and was a regular reader of Roissy’s. but that’s another story) in early college. A woman I got involved with (We never managed to seal the deal in the end for a couple of reasons) who wanted to cheat on her boyfriend of 4 years I think at the time. She definitely put her boyfriend through the above.

      Having looked at her social media at the time,I got the impression she was in a good relationship,and she just wanted some “side fun/dick”. Fine by me,I thought. I get it.

      Boy,was I shocked when I learned she wanted to “monkey branch” from the guy. It really blew my mind. He was better looking than me (He definitely matches the pretty boy archetype. I’m sure most women would rate him a 9,no lower than 8. There is even a female blogger out there who wrote a post having gone crazy for him when she encountered him.),had a job,and…a complete beta. gf was openly sharing (bragging?) him doing pretty emasculating stuff for her.

      This was not a bad boyfriend. This was a guy who did everything for her,and she was willing to throw him out like trash. I was willing to keep a secret and wanted to set up a no-strings attached arrangement at the time,but she attempted to shame me for not wanting to be her replacement boyfriend,I countered by pointing this fact out.

      Long story short,things didn’t work out,and truthfully I have no regrets that it didn’t. (coulda gone a whole lot worse) She was popular and most dudes would probably would rate her between a 7-8,but she wasn’t quite my type. I was truthfully mid about her as a whole,but I was willing to give it a go for the experience. Too bad her asking price was way more than what I was willing to pay.

      I have occasionally checked on her socials just out of curiosity (I have no idea if they are still together,she’s never posted about any new guy. I try searching for her boyfriend,but it almost seems as if he’s disappeared from the internet),but I’ve got no real attraction left for her. Not even the memory of her. and she’s only gotten older. Definitely not contacting her again.

      So yeah,I would say this was my first introduction to “the dark side”. Having found your blog later on clarified things for me.

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