Evaluating a Woman’s Character Based on Weak Signals

One of the complaints of married men is that their sweetheart quickly transformed after marriage. Their slim, high-libido, rational, and frugal girlfriend turned into a fat, frigid, manic, and wasteful wife. Of course, I am exaggerating a little bit. Still, they claim that they did not see it coming. However, it is quite possible to evaluate a woman’s character in a short amount of time. Of course, the problem for men is two-fold: they are lovestruck and therefore simply ignore various red flags, or downplay them as insignificant. Additionally, they may think that their girlfriend will change for the better.

Some women “love-bomb” you at the beginning of the relationship and pretend to be someone they are not. In fact, almost all women who will want to win you over for a relationship will put up a facade. For inexperienced men, love-bombing is the much bigger risk as it is a devious manipulation tactic. The woman deliberately showers you in affection and the inexperienced male who has never encountered this, just like the sexually experienced male who only met relatively normal women, will believe that this budding sexual relationship is special.

No matter the circumstances, nobody can pretend to be someone they are not for long stretches of time. Thus, the best defense is to not do anything stupid, like letting some woman move in with you after a week or so. On a related note, this is not a distinctly male stupidity; women have offered me a key to their apartment after what I only intended to be a one-night stand. Thus, keep some distance, which is also important to evaluate the other person.

A cynic would say that women who want to reel you into a relationship play a “long con”. They work on lowering your defenses until you sign on the dotted line. In strictly financial terms, she is going to benefit infinitely more from marriage and, in states with “palimony” laws, than you will. Consequently, she will put on an act for at least until you commit to her. We can therefore indeed view her actions in terms of strategy, whereas most men operate in terms of tactics, i.e. short term actions for short-term benefits. Most guys have the goal of bedding the women they meet, whereas a woman who is looking for a boyfriend is thinking well beyond that.

Interacting with a woman over time gives you the chance to explore her personality. True, she will not tell you that money exists to be spent or that she cares little for your health or spare time, but if you project a non-judging personality, you can encourage her to give you a glimpse at her bad sides. An excellent litmus test for frugality is letting her make a choice with regard to your money. Part of my standard procedure for assessing the personality of a woman for a relationship was the following: we would meet up and go to a coffee shop. I would order something healthy and reasonably well-priced, like a cup of green tea. My standard line was, “I’ll get myself a cup of green tea. What do you want? It’s on me.” You can probably guess where this is going.

If you know about pricing theory, you are aware of the anchoring effect, i.e. if you establish a very high price point for part of your product range, you can charge more for your other products. Concretely, customers are more inclined to accept a price of $60,000 for your entry-level car if the top-of-the-line product has a base price of $120,000. This is due to those prices being evaluated in relation to each other. If the higher price was not available, the cheaper one would have to be evaluated on its own. I think this is the reason why there are some ludicrously expensive beverages on the menu in most cafes. They simply want to condition you to pay $5 for a cup of plain black coffee, which would look outrageous if it was the only option on the menu, by shoving in your face that there are (non-alcoholic) beverages on the menu that cost three times as much.

As you can guess, a woman who is allergic to saving money, when faced with the opportunity to spend money she did not even earn, may go all out. Unlike you, she won’t get a cup of black coffee or a cup of green tea but instead go for something much fancier, maybe something she “always wanted to try.” Most amusing are women who think they have now earned the right to spend your money and either ask if they can have a piece of cake on top or — a real favorite of mine! — go ahead and just order a piece of cake as well. Don’t worry, the little money you will spend this way is nothing compared to what a woman like that would cost you in a long-term relationship, so this is money well spent.

What I found most interesting about the aforementioned test was how women who were eager to please would act: they would order the exact same drink as I did. There may have been cultural implications I was not aware of. In any case, Western women rarely if ever did that, while it was quite common among non-Western ones. In contrast, there is even some antagonism in some Western women. The occasional woman will tell you disapprovingly that she can pay for her own coffee, which is obviously also a great way to disqualify herself for a relationship.

An interesting variation is suggesting to go to a restaurant. Ask her to pick one. The most disrespectful women will go for a very expensive option, while a frugal one with housewife-qualities may even tell you that she’d rather cook a meal for you at home. If the prospect of spending a few hundred bucks only to find out that she views you as a walking wallet does not sound great to you, don’t despair: nobody said anything about actually going to that restaurant. You just ask her where she’d like to go. You are very welcome to chuckle and ghost her if she thinks that only a Michelin-star restaurant is good enough for her, possibly without being aware of the fact that you may have to book weeks or months in advance.

Life, and relationships, are not just about money. Time is another important resource, so pay attention to how much of your time she wants to claim. Some women whom you’ve banged a few times believe that they now have a personal chauffeur. Others think that you should do some home-renovation at their place. Some women will even ask you to do favors for their friends or members of their family. You can probably think of better things to do on your weekends than help one of her girlfriends move — of course, it is highly likely that today’s “bestie” will be her arch-enemy in a few months’ time, but that is another time.

The sense of entitlement you encounter is sometimes absolutely ridiculous. It is great if you detect this early because otherwise, you may one day wake up and wonder why your girlfriend believes she is entitled to you paying down her mortgage, taking her dog to the vet, and tutoring her cousin in maths.

On a final note, I could as well have written this article based on how she treats you, but the problem is that so many men are used to getting treated like shit by basically everyone that their expectations are too low and they don’t even pick up on those cues. On the other hand, time and money can be quantified objectively.

Did you enjoy this article? Great! Here are some further steps to consider:
1) If you want to read more from Aaron, check out his excellent books, the latest of which are Sleazy Stories II, Sleazy Stories III, and Meditation Without Bullshit.
2) Aaron is available for one-on-one consultation sessions if you want honest advice.
3) Donations for the upkeep of this site are highly welcome.

14 thoughts on “Evaluating a Woman’s Character Based on Weak Signals

  1. I see the personal chauffeur things all the time. It pisses me off how much time women steal from men, but if you talk to these men they usually say that they’re happy to do that and that’s what relationships are all about and blah blah blah

    Sometimes I wanna ask these guys to just look a little deeper and tell me how do you REALLY feel about driving her around?

    This one guy I know regularly takes his girlfriend’s DOG to get a haircut! It’s part of his “duties”! This fucker drives to her house, picks up the dog, takes her to the dog stylist…

    I can’t believe this shit. It’s I live in a completely different world than these guys. And I’ve done my share of stupid shit when it comes to women, but the shit I see is just amazing.

    And these guys don’t learn! Like my first relationship I took a lot of shit, but then in my second one I took a bit less shit and in my third one I took zero shit…

    I don’t know man. On the one hand I feel for these guys, but on the other hand it’s like dude!!!

    1. The occasional woman will tell you disapprovingly that she can pay for her own coffee, which is obviously also a great way to disqualify herself for a relationship.

      care to elaborate why it is bad if woman wants to pay for herself?

    2. Those women didn’t just say this in a neutral way but instead were confrontative about it. As I later learned, this is not at all uncommon among Scandinavian women. Of course, you can bet that you will not have much fun with such an empowered feminist who thinks it is demeaning when you pay for her coffee.

  2. @GMoney

    My friend who struggles with women told me that he was going to help this girl clean out her garage. I told him to not do it.. He said it might help him get laid. I told him it wouldn’t. Of course he still did it and you can guess the results. He readily admits to being a perpetual victim.

    1. Have you ever had the chance of witnessing a girl move? They have small armies of simps carrying her crap. When I was living in Berlin, I had a few female housemates. None of them broke a sweat when moving in or out. What I found particularly sad was when they reduced their dad to yet another simp, commanding him around, or even berating him that they take too much time. Oh, I once had a girl offering to help me move. She did show up, spent the entire time trying to get my attention and flirt with me, and carried a grand total of one plastic bag. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with her behavior. My friends complained to me afterwards because she was only in the way. Quite frankly, I should have sent her home, or even tell her that there was no need for her to come at all. Well, you live and learn.

    2. Haha, I unfortunately was raised by a single mom who moved around a lot. There were always some idiots that would help (and then of course she had me). When I helped move my sister into a new apartment when she was in college her friend, to this day, did absolutely nothing, not even a “thank you.”

      I helped this single mom who was my friends new neighbor. She had no plan. She just arrived in the neighbourhood with like 10 kids (not kidding) into a 2 story house. She had a semi truck to move all her shit in. My friend and I were chilling when we had time off of work, just eating some fast food. My friend actually felt like we were being selfish and ran out to help. She had the whole side of the street cleared of cars, so the truck could get through. I helped until it was time to drive my to friend work. I thought this was the perfect time to bow out. I told them I had to go, but this simp old man who was also helping asked me what else I had planned for the day. Fuck! At least I got a 12 pack out of it.

      Oh yeah, then there was this girl who was moving into an apartment complex I used to live in. I was at the adjacent pool. She was ordering the dudes around as they slaved away. I think she could see me checking her out. As she was going up the stairs she bent over (she was wearing a skirt) and I could see much of her ass and her g-string.

      Hell another example. When myself and my cousin were moving my grandma into a nursing home we took a moment to talk and rest at the truck. From the room we were moving my grandma into we heard my aunt’s hysterically yelling at us all at the same time.

  3. This is great. I’ve never thought about testing women if they were wifey material this way. I mean it pretty obvious if a girl is a slut but these tests are genius. Thanks

  4. It’s intriguing to me how come other guys don’t do what chicks do – vet vet vet.

    With MGTOW the default has become a resounding “No.” until a “Yes.” is obtained through diligent, persistent, repeated performance.

    MGTOW has given the men the idea to have, start enforcing and sticking to their ever higher standards, making the once dished out freely commitment VERY hard to obtain. Only the REAL women, and not even many of those, will be able to afford their pasts now.

  5. “On a final note, I could as well have written this article based on how she treats you, but the problem is that so many men are used to getting treated like shit by basically everyone that their expectations are too low and they don’t even pick up on those cues. On the other hand, time and money can be quantified objectively.”

    Could you write an article based on how she treats you? It’d be much appreciated.

    1. In the final paragraph (which I quoted in my above commeny) of this article you state that you chose to base the article on quantifiable measures such as time and money because men’s behavioral expectations are too low.

      Could you speak more on how she should treat you and her behavior? What do you mean by “they don’t even pick up on those cues” in that last paragraph? Could you go into these cues that are unrelated to time and money?

    2. Isn’t it just enough to have standards for her behavior? Ask yourself if you would put up with whatever she just did if she wasn’t a woman you want to fuck but a regular dude or a friend of yours. You’ll find that this will completely shift your perception of dating.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.