Recently, I was asked about my views on the future of Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) for sex bots and whether men will be able to not just get their sexual needs met by a bunch of silicone and silicon in a hyper-arousing shell, but their emotional needs as well. Of course, technological progress is nothing that just happens all by itself. You need smart, driven people and give them resources. Then, they may or may not come up with the next big thing. However, I think we are right at the cusp of a revolution of the sexual marketplace.

The issue I see with sex bot A.I. is that this is a problem that could be easily solved. Referring only to the linguistic parts, I think we are already at the point where we could produce a sex bot that is roughly at the level of a pretty dumb chick. Now the question is whether you need more for a sex bot. Judging from the existence of pornography, the answer seems to be in the negative. Furthermore, those of you who have fucked around a lot most certainly have run into women you were into but with whom you were barely able to communicate. Yet, after you’ve blown a load and cuddled up to your sexy one-night stand who lacks the sophistication of someone of good breeding, that did not strike you as a particular problem. In fact, plenty of men would consider “edumacation” a negative of women because the more educated they supposedly are, the more utter nonsense they spout, and with an attitude, too.

There is an even better analogy than banging girls from abroad whose English isn’t good enough to form proper sentences: pets. If you own a cat or a dog, you probably are rather fond of your little animal companion. Yet, what does “Cat A.I.” consist of? Those little buggers sleep 16 hours a day and the remaining hours they eat, lick their fur, play, or cuddle. If someone came up with a robot cat that looked as good as a real one and behaved only about half as erratic as a real cat, it would be a top seller. Of course, cats are very agile. They jump, run, or sometimes slide over the floor just for giggles. Getting this into a robot would be quite a challenge. However, replicating a genuinely lazy cat that mostly sleeps and, when you touch her, with a probability of 1/3 claws you and with a probability of 2/3 purrs and rolls over, exposing her tummy, seems rather straightforward. (Note: I’m not just phenomenal at “reading” women. Cats also like me a lot, and because I can read their mental state, I don’t get scratched.)

A very basic sex bot would not have to do much. While a sex doll just lies there, waiting for you to ram her with your big beautiful cock, the standards for a doll with some in-built A.I. would be marginally higher. I probably would not want a robot to walk around the house, but imagine the following: you have your super-sexy bot sitting in an easy chair in the living room. She’s covered with a blanket and “sleeps”. Yet, when you want to bang, you touch her. Upon noticing your touch, she awakes and says, “Anything you want, master!”. After you carried her to the bedroom, or maybe just bent her over the next table, she tells you how much she likes your dick, and you never tire of hearing it in hundreds of variations, a myriad of accents, and multiple voices, if you happen to desire a bit of change.

You also have to consider that the average real doll is already a perfect match for the skill in the bedroom of your average woman. They both just lie there. From there on, any improvement is significant. An immobile sex doll with an A.I. that is able to respond to how heavily you pound her would be a big upgrade. Yet, how much does that take? A sensor would need to measure the force of your push and in response the simplistic A.I. of your doll picks a suitable sentence, which may range from “I like it when you fuck my slowly” to “Fuck me, daddy! Fuck me harder!!” The principles of this are so simple, you could give them to a bunch of computer science freshmen. Give them an Internet of Things sensor (those are dirt cheap), have it measure acceleration, and then trigger the selection of a phrase. A proof-of-concept of this would be quite trivial.

For extra credit, you would need to create an A.I. that strings together realistic moaning instead of just playing audio clips. On that front, a lot of progress has been made, but of course not in the context of sex bot research. In Natural Language Processing, people have discovered ways to make text-to-speech software more realistic by modulating human speech patterns. I remember looking into this two or three years ago. Back then, the state-of-the-art was such that some samples generated this way were nigh indistinguishable from human voice recordings, at least the ones the authors had cherry-picked. Thus, you only need an A.I. that created a few text fragments, which a speech synthesis module then verbalized adequately.

The future I just described could already exist. It would just take some guy with a bit of money to spare who is willing to fund a bunch of geeks to work on that. Right now, a lot of the work in this field is done by hobbyists. You have guys who come up with mechanical heads that administer a blow job and who try marketing this on a crowd-funding site. That’s not how this technology will break-through. Instead, you need solid financial backing and professional marketing. Imagine a Chinese billionaire getting a bunch of PhDs in natural language processing together. For the mechanical part, he’d need a few mechanical engineers: we need a contracting pussy, a pushback mechanism for the pelvis, and a suction system for the head. With regards to the last point, I would try to improve on nature and maybe start with five super-flexible thin tongues that can squeeze, lick, and tug your dick at the same time. I can’t wait to read that PhD thesis.

I do not expect serious investment in sex dolls to happen in the West anytime soon. However, the Chinese are a lot more pragmatic about a lot of things. For instance, while we in the West try to make autonomous vehicles work on the roads we have, the Chinese are building a road network just for autonomous driving, thus simplifying this problem. Likewise, they have the problem that their young men do not have enough young women to fuck. A very simple solution to that is producing sex dolls. This has been happening for quite some time. I will expect them to take the next step and make serious progress on the sex bot front as well.

While a sex doll can replace the physical function of a woman in the bedroom, there is still the purported emotional gap. Men who say that largely live in a fantasy world, though, because the average Western woman you can date will not actively fulfill that role. Instead, you would only project. However, this is already happening with lifeless dolls. You find people online who claim that they have been emotionally bonding with their lifeless sex dolls. Given that sex dolls don’t bitch, I’m quite certain that this bond is more solid and longer-lasting than the emotional bond you could have with the average woman.

Considering that men already bond with lifeless sex dolls, current technology would arguably only have to be improved marginally to make men genuinely care for their sex bot. Just make her say a few nice words situationally, and every man would be happy. It would be the same with regular women, but somehow being nice seems to be really difficult for those, judging from not only what men who are fed up with women write online, but also how women collectively present themselves on social media. For added realism, we could get an “insufferable bitch” module for our sex bot A.I., but that probably would not sell very well. It would make for some fun videos on YouTube, though, if that site has not censored everything that is not 100% politically correct by that point.

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